Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Divorce Articles
We are currently looking for an Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Divorce". If you have expertise in Divorce and your own website and/or product for this topic, please review this form for complete details. The Official Guide Position is part of our Premium Placement Package
- But I Just Need Some Closure! - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2009 from Patzia GonzalezThe grief you cry out from draws you toward union. Your pure sadness that wants help is the secret cup. Rumi One of the hardest things for someone going through a breakup is fighting those relentless urges to contact the ex. "I just need some closure. I need some answers; I ...
Views: 987(1 vote) - Breakups and Divorce from the Perspective of Family Constellations - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2009 from Patzia GonzalezHappiness has a very short attention span, it forgets what came before. Unhappiness, on the other hand, has a very long memory. Bert Hellinger “Sexual relations create a deep and binding bond. When a man takes a woman as his woman; and a woman takes a man as her man, sexual ...
Views: 1744(1 vote) - Pain from a Break-up Resolved with EFT - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2009 from Patzia GonzalezAs part of her ongoing "Life Makeover" psychotherapy process, Mia brought up her severe neck and shoulder pain in a session. I asked several questions regarding the pain, including when it had started. She said ten years ago. I then asked: What had happened ten years ago? Mia's eyes immediately ...
Views: 1829(3 votes) - Stepfamilies: The Difficult Ex and the Issue of Badmouthing - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2009 from Joan SarinThe “difficult ex” - I think every divorced couple goes through at least a stage of complaining about this. I hear it in nearly every couple I work with, and I had my share of this pain too. It seemed to me for years that my husband’s ex-wife looked right through me as if I didn’t exist, and ...
Views: 1811(1 vote) - Why Leave it Too Late to Save Your Relationship? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2009 from Nicole BaikieThis is a question I have given a great deal of thought too. Why is it that the minute someone hears a strange noise coming from their engine they immediately take their car into the mechanics for an expert opinion but their relationships can run itself into the ground for years and they will ...
Views: 1263(2 votes) - Are You a Survivor or Enhancer? - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2009 from Meghan GehanWhen Theresa’s husband of 15 years announced he wanted a divorce, she was devastated. She says, “I couldn’t believe Alex threw our life away. But I’m strong- I got through it. I’ve moved on and put it behind me.” But has she? Six years later, Theresa and Alex “parallel-parent”, each doing as ...
Views: 1112(1 vote) - But I Didn't Want to Hurt You - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2009 from Meghan GehanI often hear this from clients: “I didn’t tell my wife I was unhappy because I didn’t want to hurt her.” “I haven’t told my children I’m sick because I don’t want them to worry.” “I can’t tell my boyfriend I want to see other people because he’d be upset.” In other words: “I can’t tell ...
Views: 1171(1 vote) - “I Deeply Want to Find a Love that Will Last. But I'm still Hurt from a Cheating Ex? ” - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2009 from Nanette GeigerNanette Geiger, Relationship Expert , writes... ... Donna from North Carolina wrote me to ask me that question As a Law of Attraction relationship coach, here's the relationship advice I have for her. Donna, I'm so glad that you know that you definitely need to let go of the past before you ...
Views: 833(1 vote) - ***The Impact of Divorce on Families - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2009 from Garrett CoanAs a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I see the devastating effects that breakups can have and am dedicated to helping people develop the skills to cope with experiences like divorce. Major Disruptions The ...
Views: 949(2 votes) - Marriage and Relationships: 6 Tips to Help the 90% of Couples That are Incompatible - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2009 from Scott & Stephen PetulloMany generations ago, marriage was about survival, property, money, securing family dynasties, and pragmatism, not love or sexual intimacy. Marriage remained popular largely because of the stigma attached to sex outside of marriage. Now “love” is the main reason given for tying the knot, but ...
Views: 1272(5 votes) - Consider Separation as a Part of Your Marriage Counseling Process - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2009 from Dr. Joseph AbrahamCan a marital separation save a marriage? Usually my opinion is: it depends… Whether the separation will help or hurt the marriage is unknown, unless you know the couple, have listened to them and assessed their mental state. Needless to say, a professional marriage counselor should ...
Views: 7409(3 votes) - How Your Children’s Divorce Affects You - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2009 from rita morganIt started out to be a nice visit from my son. We spent a great deal of time talking about our jobs and how our family members were coping with every day trials and tribulations. When we moved on to his family, he dropped the bombshell. I felt as though I had been kicked in the stomach when the ...
Views: 871(1 vote) - Attempting a Better Relationship After Divorce - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2009 from Ray Kadkhodaian,CAC,LCPC,CADC,PsyD & Jean Kadkhodaian,MA,CH,Rev.Better relationship? The Chicago Cubs? You may be asking what the two have in common. Back in 2003, it was extremely disappointing watching the 7th game between the Chicago Cubs and the Florida Marlins. The game started out great and somewhere along the way, it headed south. There were many Cub ...
Views: 1014 - From a Bird's Perspective - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2009 from Chrissy KohlerWho’s not scared of love? I mean whether you are scared that it will or will not find you, that it will or will not last, that it can or cannot exist – in some theory we are each scared of love. Scared of getting our hearts broken – scared of taking a risk – scared of putting ourselves out ...
Views: 1205(6 votes) - MARRIAGE: This is amazing... did you know this?! - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2009 from Holly BoydI'm sure most of us are aware that the stats for marriages ending in divorce are at least one out of two in America! These stats are the same whether you go to church or not! What? How can the divorce rate be the same for Christians?! Then... I heard Dr. Phil confirm what I used to wonder ...
Views: 2031(2 votes) - Pregnancy, Childbirth & Relationships - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2009 from Michael PaulYou've just given birth to the most precious gift imaginable. This gift will portend the future of the world. Certainly you hope this precious gift child will have a life filled with excitement, wonder, and happiness. But what if the excitement and wonder bring this child a world of ...
Views: 629(3 votes) - Life After Divorce: Living with Change and Uncertainty - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2009 from Shelley Stile“If we can recognize that change and uncertainty are basic principles, we can greet the future and the transformation we are undergoing with the understanding that we do not know enough to be pessimistic.” -- Hazel Henderson (Economist, writer and syndicated columnist) Fear of our future ...
Views: 2299(1 vote) - *** How Positives Changes for the New Year Can Help You Rebuild After Divorce - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2009 from Dr. Tolu AdeleyeWhy do we make New Year’s resolutions? Because we desire change for the better. But, for those dealing with divorce, resolutions may offer much-needed hope for the future. Resolutions are meant to give us a boost and promote positive change. However, if you think back to your past ...
Views: 2218(2 votes) - *** Divorce Support While Your Children Are in School - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2009 from Dr. Tolu AdeleyeA number of things can shake up a person's life, but divorce is definitely one of the biggest. Whether you initiated it or not, dealing with the aftermath takes a great deal of emotional fortitude. Most people start to identify themselves in conjunction with their spouse, especially after ...
Views: 1731(3 votes) - How to Divorce-Proof Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2009 from Martin Phillips-HingI am writing this article while flying over some spectacular snow-covered mountains in Northern British Columbia, Canada. In fact, I just read that these mountains have been featured in Hollywood movies as substitutes for the Himalayas.The view is of large peaks and deep valleys. At the bottom ...
Views: 915(2 votes) - Early Signs a New Relationship Won't Last - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2009 from Gregory SmithThe following article originally appeared on www.midlifebachelor.com on June 14, 2009 ... Choosing to invest in a new relationship directly affects your own level of personal happiness especially in the near-term ... and so it is extremely important to keep your eyes and ears open, and be ...
Views: 6972(5 votes) - You Can Only Be Replaced If You Let It Happen! - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2009 from Dr Rick GoodmanIt was 1994 when the papers were delivered to my apartment; I had just joined the ranks of 50% of the population when my wife filed for divorce. As a single father my biggest fear was that someone would come in to my ex-wife's life and that person would eventually replace me as the figurehead ...
Views: 885 - How to Choose a Couple Therapist - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2009 from Mark KauppWith couples divorcing and splitting up at the highest rate modern time, quality couple therapy is a must. And, finding a qualified couple therapist is essential. Only 14% of therapists in the United States that state they do couple therapy have actually had training in how to do couple therapy. ...
Views: 1337(1 vote) - Getting Through Holidays After Divorce - by Submitted on Jul 05, 2009 from Menno SpijkstraHolidays have always been special, joyful times for everyone. That is, until things got rough and you ended up divorced. Celebrating it is always challenging, but holidays after divorce, are without doubt extra-challenging. Some people are quite lucky—not all their friends are in a relationship. ...
Views: 842 - Suddenly Single: How to Reinvent Yourself After Heartbreak - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2009 from Lisa SteadmanWhether you just got out of a relationship, or have been struggling to heal your broken heart for some time now, figuring out how to move on can be confusing, fear-inducing, and downright uncomfortable. Not only do you have to let go of your past, but you’ve got to be willing to embrace the ...
Views: 8888(6 votes) - After the Breakup: The Do’s and Don'ts of Dealing with Your Ex - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2009 from Lisa SteadmanEveryone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That's where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other's lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to ...
Views: 11673(12 votes) - After the Breakup: 4 Valuable Love Lessons - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2009 from Lisa SteadmanWhenever I’m at a dinner party and meet somebody new, the inevitable question comes up: What do you do? When I tell them I’m a heartbreak reinvention coach, it always leads to an interesting conversation. Usually, I get to hear the story of Their Big Breakup, and it’s always gut-wrenching, ...
Views: 5152(10 votes) - Can we be friends? The ABCs of Ex Etiquette - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2009 from Lisa SteadmanCan we be friends? After a breakup, this simple question can weigh heavy on your mind. As a heartbreak reinvention coach, I often hear this question from clients. And my answer is always the same — no. Why? Because as hard as it may be to accept, your relationship is over. This person is ...
Views: 2264(4 votes) - Heal Your Heart in Just 21 Days - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2009 from Lisa SteadmanConventional wisdom says it takes just 21 days to establish a new habit. So what if that new habit involves getting over a breakup? Is it possible to exorcise your ex, clear your head, and heal your heart in just 3 weeks? It is when you enroll in a crash course in breakup survival, immerse ...
Views: 2585(3 votes) - Reconnect with the Ex? What You Need to Know Before You Give it Another Go - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2009 from Lisa SteadmanAfter a relationship ends, it's all too easy to second-guess the decision to split up. And while reconsidering doesn't necessarily mean you should reunite, what happens if you and your ex DO decide you'd like to give the relationship another go? Maybe the time away from one another has shown you ...
Views: 8931(3 votes) - After the Breakup: The Do’s and Don'ts of Dealing with Your Ex - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2009 from Lisa SteadmanEveryone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That's where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other's lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to ...
Views: 3097(3 votes) - Heartbreaker 101: How to Heal Your Heart and Be Glad He’s Gone! - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2009 from Lisa SteadmanThere’s no denying it. Breaking up is oh-so hard to do, especially in today’s 24-hour techno-savvy world of Facebook, Twitter, and post-breakup booty calls arranged via sexting. Before you get down in the dumps about getting dumped (or even if you did the dumping), the following five tips will ...
Views: 2935(6 votes) - Freedom is the Reward for Letting Go - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2009 from Shelley StileThe ability to move on after your divorce entails the letting go of the past with its emotional baggage and negative emotions. If you can accomplish this feat then the heavy burdens you have been carrying will lift and you will experience the liberation of freedom: the ability to move unimpeded ...
Views: 952 - The Joys of Being a Single Parent After Divorce - by Submitted on May 31, 2009 from Menno SpijkstraRaising kids is hard; raising kids alone is near- impossible. It’s absolutely not easy to raise kids when you’re a single parent. However, although it seems awful, (a lot of times it is!) it offers quite a number of astonishing benefits that can make everyday life easier for everyone. According ...
Views: 4090(3 votes) - Joint Custody: Making it Work - by Submitted on May 26, 2009 from Menno SpijkstraParents who want to make joint custody work must do everything they can to put the best interests of the children first. Any divorced couple can attest that co-parenting after a divorce is hard—it requires a great deal of commitment and effort from both parents. While the real desire of a ...
Views: 786 - Your Spouse's Infidelity Revealed: Getting Over The Shock and Getting To Recovery: Part 2Submitted on May 18, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMarital infidelity can be revealed in a whole host of different ways. Regardless of how the infidelity is revealed, the revelation of the infidelity creates a crisis within the marital relationship and within the faithful spouse. The shock of discovering the infidelity leads to compulsive ...
Views: 2366 - Your Spouse's Infidelity Revealed: Of Course You Are Angry and Scared: Part 1 - by Submitted on May 18, 2009 from Peggy FergusonInfidelity can be a component of sexual addiction or relational event(s). It is generally enshrouded in secrecy and dishonesty, with great amounts of time and effort spent to keep it hidden. Spouses find out about the infidelity or sexual addiction in a wide variety of ways. Several are ...
Views: 2038 - Ready for Divorce? - by Submitted on May 15, 2009 from Vikki Ziegler"Recession" may rhyme with "depression," but there are plenty of ways to avoid having the economy write the sonnet on your marriage and — more importantly, your happiness. By an almost two-to-one margin, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers is seeing a drop in the number of divorces ...
Views: 855 - Divorce and Abuse: 3 Things to Avoid to Improve Your Success in Family Court - by Submitted on May 14, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If the system is broken, how can you make it work for you? This is a question that puzzles battered women in family court. They show up expecting the court to protect the rights of their children and themselves, only to discover that it becomes an uphill battle to simply defend against losing ...
Views: 798 - Crazy Making: 3 Signs Your Mental Health Status is "On the Line" in Your Domestic Violence Divorce - by Submitted on May 05, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic violence is hard enough to endure in and of itself. Then there’s the “getting out” part that is in some cases harder. The saddest, though, is the price the victim sometimes pays for her* peace, safety and freedom. For some survivors this is her sanity, for others it may be her contact ...
Views: 889 - Divorce: Acceptance of Your New Reality - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2009 from Shelley StileWhat do you think of people who are detached from reality? People that are seemingly living in a world of their own making? It’s unnerving to say the least as well as truly sad. Yet for those of us attempting to recover from a divorce, our inability to fully accept our new reality is not too ...
Views: 1682 - Managing Your Finances During Divorce - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2009 from Samantha GregoryDivorce may be considered one of the most stressful time for any family going through it. It can be stressful emotionally and financially. Objectively, any divorce can be settled with less problems and stress. However, due to the height of emotions, both spouses can be unreasonable and ...
Views: 1260 - Divorce Stress? Navigating New Household Routines - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2009 from Stress-Relief Author/Expert Susie MantellQ: Dear Susie: I have always been the “go-to” person who can always the job done. Lately I feel off-balance. In our marriage we shared responsibilities for the household, kids, and one another. Over time, as it became clear that we had different goals, our marriage could not survive. Though I ...
Views: 906(1 vote) - Divorce Stress? Asking for Help During/Following Separation - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2009 from Stress-Relief Author/Expert Susie MantellOverworked? Overwhelmed? Divorce can be one of life's most stressful experiences and indeed, starting out again on one's own is about a new kind of Independence. But it’s also a time when friends and loved ones can be a wonderful support network. And even as we are feeling a little lost or ...
Views: 1559 - Divorce Stress? Coping with Loneliness on the Roller-Coaster - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2009 from Stress-Relief Author/Expert Susie MantellQ: I’m a little embarrassed to admit this as an accomplished 47-year-old professional, but even though I am relieved to be finalizing our divorce, I think some of the stress I’m experiencing since our separation is actually ...loneliness. How can I get past that? A: Every journey through ...
Views: 1655 - Co-Parenting with Your Ex - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2009 from Angie BlackwellDo you still define your ex in terms of your failed relationship, or do you relate to him/her strictly as "the other parent"? How you frame your perception of your former spouse has a tremendous impact on your co-parenting relationship. The two of you may not be friends, but you’ll always be ...
Views: 1832(4 votes) - Marriage, Divorce, and the Economy: No Excuse for Irresponsible Parenting - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2009 from Rosalind SedaccaIs our down-turned economy having an effect on divorce in the United States and other nations around the world? While it’s too early for statistical evidence, reports from marriage counselors and divorce attorneys around the globe are in agreement. They’re finding many couples who were ready to ...
Views: 1322(3 votes) - Growing Through Divorce - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2009 from Darlene LancerDivorce is a process of separation and transformation - a process that long precedes the dissolution decree. It is important to understand its stages, the cognitive, emotional, physical, legal and spiritual, which, if worked through, can substantially lessen the painful aftermath. ...
Views: 3360(1 vote) - The Five Obstacles to Agreement - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2009 from Ed ShermanThis article and my articles "Overcoming Obstacles to Agreement" and "Negotiating Agreement" are about how to deal with disagreement—from simple difference of opinion to active upset and anger—and some specific steps that will help you reach an agreement. As you will see, the things you can do ...
Views: 694 - 5 Things You Must Know Before Saying 'I Want a Divorce' - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2009 from Ed ShermanThere are ways to go about breaking up that will give you the best chance for a smoother trip through one of life's most difficult passages. This is an exceedingly sensitive time when it doesn't take much to stir things up. Fortunately, because we go through this with other couples a few ...
Views: 888(1 vote)