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Grief and Loss Articles
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- Everyone Deserves a Second Chance - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2009 from Intent.com AuthorsWednesday, April 8, 2009 My mother died today. Her body finally gave up. It had enough. My mother’s liver, exhausted from working so hard to filter the toxins she put there, finally reached its limit. So, it’s over. A life of abuse found a quiet end. There will not be a viewing of her body, ...
Views: 1980 - Dealing with Shades of Black - by Submitted on May 28, 2009 from Intent.com AuthorsTragedy comes unannounced. At any given moment, or turn in our lives, we may face upheaval, be that a family tragedy, a distressing piece of information, a health scare, or any situation that may lead one to feel a sense of loss and despair. Nobody is immune to those twists that life may take ...
Views: 782 - Helping the "Helpless" - by Submitted on May 27, 2009 from Intent.com AuthorsThis article is a response to a question posted on Intent.com, "How do We Help the Helpless?" Since I work with homeless families in a homeless shelter everyday, this question raised strong emotions for me. The word "helpless" hit me right between the eyes. Why? I don't know if it is our ...
Views: 1959(2 votes) - A Simple Act, An Enormous Impact - by Submitted on May 27, 2009 from Intent.com AuthorsI recently posted a column here about a line of cancer greeting cards that became controversial when a media analyst posited on the Today Show that such cards go too far. The analyst maintained that friends should know what to write and not have to depend on canned messages. I disagree; the ...
Views: 919 - My Friend is Shattered by Widowhood - by Submitted on May 27, 2009 from Elsabe SmitThere are few life events that are as life-shattering as suddenly becoming widowed – especially if you are not yet at the right age (whatever that may be) to become widowed. Dealing with the practical arrangements of a funeral or cremation and the paperwork related to the estate are often the ...
Views: 1479 - How to Surrender to Grief - by Submitted on May 27, 2009 from Louis LaGrand“What you resist persists” is an old psychological saying that is especially applicable to anyone when mourning the death of a loved one. In other words, trying to repress feelings, “be strong” or pretend you are doing well when you are not, will guarantee that pain will spill out in unexpected ...
Views: 3033 - Motherless Daughter's Day - by Submitted on May 24, 2009 from Intent.com AuthorsEvery year, since l996, women who have lost their mothers gather to honor their Mother’s memory and to support each other through the difficult Mother’s Day weekend. When your Mom is dead there is nothing like Mother’s Day to remind you of just how much you have lost and how painful that loss ...
Views: 2681 - The Day After Mother's Day: Make Peace if Need Be - by Submitted on May 17, 2009 from Intent.com AuthorsFor some of us, mother’s day was wonderful and beautiful. Hopefully we can give thanks today for the wonderful times we shared yesterday with our families. For others, mother’s day was tearful and sad. My thoughts go out to all those in grief who no longer have mothers who are living in the ...
Views: 927 - Should We Grieve? - by Submitted on May 15, 2009 from James EinertShould we grieve? The Bible says we should cry at birth and rejoice at death. So should we grieve? Webster’s Dictionary gives grief the following definition, “Deep and poignant distress caused by or as by bereavement.” It also calls it suffering. So should we grieve? First, let me say I ...
Views: 2286 - 9 Symptoms of Bereavement Stress - by Submitted on May 14, 2009 from Margo BastosLack of Sleep or Interrupted Sleep You lie awake for hours and are not able to fall asleep OR you wake up regularly during the night. Maybe you wake up in the early hours of the morning and are not able to go back to sleep. This leaves you feeling tired and listless for the rest of the ...
Views: 3475 - From Victim to Survivor to Whole - by Submitted on May 12, 2009 from Catie HayesA few weeks back, I rented a copy of 'Rachel Getting Married'. The movie as a whole was painfully fantastic, but one scene in particular resonated very strongly with me; it's message bouncing around my head for some time. catie hayes soapbox In the scene, the lead character, Kym, attends a ...
Views: 1146 - Compassion for Ourselves After Loss - by Submitted on May 04, 2009 from Mary Jane Hurley BrantWhen we have lost someone we love, our job, our health, our marriage, or our deepest relationship, we want to feel some compassion coming our way. We want to know that we are going to make it. Here are some ways for your body, your mind, and your spirit to meet every day with renewed ...
Views: 1309(3 votes) - Life and Loss - by Submitted on May 03, 2009 from Rebecca Ruark-HalsteadLife and Loss A very dear friend of mine experienced the loss of a feline loved one and, as I was writing to console her, my own words made an impact of awareness and understanding in me. It never ceases to amaze me; how we learn our life lessons, and then live them without really stopping to ...
Views: 1253 - Unexpected and Traumatic Death - What Do You Do? - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2009 from Judy WrightEven though 10% or more of reported deaths are unexpected and traumatic, you are still blindsided when it happens to those you love and care about. It is not something that one ever plans on and so are not only grieving emotionally, but have no idea on what to do in order to handle the ...
Views: 1407(2 votes) - Exploring Grief - We Have All Lost Something - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2009 from Judy WrightInternal work on our believe systems, thought patterns and behaviors is the hardest work any of us will ever do. It takes a great deal of courage and desire to change to undergo the strenuous work of digging through the layers of hidden feelings, experiences and hurts. Those who are in ...
Views: 1276(2 votes) - Musings on Funerals and Memorial Services, with a Sense of Love - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2009 from Suzanne Kyra"Funerals or memorial services are the final, formal celebration of a person’s life. They are universal rituals of love that incorporate a final good-bye." --Suzanne Kyra At funerals and memorial services, I have appreciated how the deceased and the deceased loved ones have been honored and ...
Views: 1003 - Letting Go of Grief - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2009 from Terri BrittGrief. It’s very real. It comes in different forms, sometimes subtle, hovering just below the surface, and sometimes like a gray blanket suffocating our hearts. I recently received an e-mail from a mom filled with tears and sorrow. Her pain stemmed from the loss of her son…not by death, but ...
Views: 3796(2 votes) - ***Living a Purposeful Life - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2009 from Karen Mehringer, MASurrounded by royal blue water extending beyond the horizon in all directions, no land in sight, I gaze at the path of diamonds dancing on the ocean’s surface. The sun radiating on my skin feels like a warm cashmere sweater. It is August 19, 1998, and I am on my first ocean passage of a ...
Views: 4721(4 votes) - ***Creating Infinite Possibilities - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2009 from Karen Mehringer, MA“Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson There is a tendency when catastrophic events happen for ...
Views: 2045(1 vote) - Passing On: Playing the Dark Role - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2009 from Jelaila StarrDuring these times of great change, it seems that every day brings another opportunity to learn from the painful challenges that come our way. In some cases several lessons are learned through the same challenge. Such has been the case with the passing of my father and the circumstances ...
Views: 1466 - Passing On: A Time of Lessons and Blessings - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2009 from Jelaila StarrThe ancients have said that this time we are in now would be one of great pain and suffering. One only has to turn on the TV or read the newspaper to know that we are seeing the fulfillment of their words. In the midst of such pain it is easy to loose sight of the goal. As the higher perspective ...
Views: 1395 - Passing On: A Father's Enduring Love - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2009 from Jelaila StarrMy father was diagnosed with cancer in October, 2008. Up to that time he had been very healthy. Normally energetic and active, he fought the cancer with gusto. Still, the cancer won and my father passed away in the early morning hours of on Sunday, March 8th, less than 6 months later. I had ...
Views: 1613 - Using Mindfulness Meditation to Heal Grief and Despair - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Beth PattersonI had the opportunity to work with the practices of mindfulness meditation after my beloved cat and soul companion Lily died. After experiencing Lily’s death, I had a fleeting urge to go unconscious – sleep, eat, drink wine, whatever. As a grief counselor and mindfulness meditation instructor, ...
Views: 3864 - Job Loss Grief! - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Biancia TateThere are many kinds of grief in the world today for, this world is always bringing with it loss. We begin to learn about loss early in life as a child when we lose pets, friends as we progress through our educational years, boyfriends as we progress through our dating years, and, we lose jobs ...
Views: 1354 - Love, Loss, Trauma, and Community - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Gudrun FrerichsOne characteristic of human societies is that people come together and seek closeness with others in the face of traumatic experiences. "Emotional attachment is probably the primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness; it is essential for biological survival in ...
Views: 1585 - What's the Right Amount of Guilt? - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondThe call came at 1:00 a.m. The call that never should have come. The call that Bruce would have moved heaven and earth to prevent. The call that ended everything when an apologetic voice dealt the fatal blow - his wife had suffered a heart attack at work and died. Medication just knocks him ...
Views: 1545 - Outlets for Emotional Pain When Grieving - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Louis LaGrandPain, whether emotional or physical, is a condition of existence. No matter what your station in life, you are bound to confront relationship separations, work conflicts, medical difficulties, or the death of a loved one. No one escapes these circumstances of life and the pain they ...
Views: 5598 - As Time Goes By...We Find Strength - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2009 from Judy DavisWhere has the time gone? I found myself pondering this question over and over these last few days, and couldn't help but notice the impact it was having on my mindset. As the anniversary of my fathers death approached, I became focused on the fact that time was whizzing by. I was "shocked" ...
Views: 999 - The Power of Grief - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2009 from Judy DavisOne of the saddest days of my life was the day that my father ended his struggle with cancer. Initially there was the relief that he would no longer suffer, followed by the acceptance that there was no other answer for him, they had done all that they could, and his life cycle was complete. But ...
Views: 1268 - What to Do If You Uncover a Secret About Your Deceased Loved One? - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2009 from Louis LaGrandHas someone you trust told you a secret about your deceased loved one that has added immeasurably to your grief? Where you going through his/her papers and found some information about the past that has stunned you? Has evidence of physical or emotional infidelity turned up upon reading old ...
Views: 1658 - Supporting a Friend Who is Grieving an Infant Death - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2009 from Menno SpijkstraA miscarriage or a death of an infant is very sad. And though receiving condolences and support is so significant to the grieving process, most of the time it is difficult to know what not to say at all. Oftentimes, these worries keep people from supporting friends and reaching out to our loved ...
Views: 2324 - *** Myths About Grief, Part 7 - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2009 from Sandy ClendenenWhen you lose your spouse life feels very disorganized. All relationships provide a sense of structure, whether you think of it that way or not. Much of grief is really about coping with the lack of structure which manifests in the sad, empty space of what had been a significant ...
Views: 1370 - Finding Meaning within Job Loss! - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2009 from Biancia TateYou have lost your job and, now, you, as a person, feel lost! Losing a job is like a death whereas, one loses so much more than just an income. One loses security, co-workers who become like one's second family, meaning or purpose for one's life and a lifestyle for work has so much to do with ...
Views: 3781 - Compassion for Ourself After Loss - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2009 from Mary Jane Hurley BrantWhen we have lost someone we love, our job, our health, our marriage, or our deepest relationship, we want to feel some compassion coming our way. We want to know that we are going to make it. Here are some ways for your body, your mind, and your spirit to meet every day with renewed ...
Views: 1281(3 votes) - Children and Grief: A Story of Trauma, Abuse and Growth - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2009 from Beth PattersonIn my work with grieving children and adolescents, it is important for me to keep in mind that the child’s age and stage of development at the time of the loved one’s death will strongly influence the ways in which the child reacts and adapts to the loss. An understanding of the child’s ...
Views: 2598 - ***When a Child Dies: Grief Self-Quiz - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2009 from LB WishWhen a Child Dies: Grief Self-Quiz Parents expect their children to outlive them. When a child dies, the parents’ grief affects their lives forever. Take this quiz and learn the best ways for a professional woman to handle grief when she or a co-worker loses a child. Put an “X” next to the ...
Views: 1276 - ***Dealing with Grief at Work: Relief from Grief Quiz - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2009 from LB WishDealing with Grief at Work: Relief from Grief Quiz Grieving the loss of a family member or relationship is painful--and powerful. Memories and moods take over, including at work. Use this quiz to learn how to manage your reactions better. Put an X next to one response per question. 1. ...
Views: 1875 - ***Grief and Restlessness - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVGrief and loss can manifest in many different ways. Your world is different now. You may not be sure what to do next. You may feel very hesitant and unsure of yourself and your ability to make decisions. These feelings may lead to figeting and restlessness. You may have difficulty sleeping as a ...
Views: 2407 - ***Sadness or Depression - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVOften when we grieve, we are uncertain about how to define our feelings. This can lead to confusion and frustration. Sadness and depression are often used in the same sentence to describe one’s feelings. The dictionary defines sad as…”feeling sorrow; unhappy…” The dictionary defines ...
Views: 989 - ***The Pain of Grief - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVYou have lost someone very dear. Your heart is aching. In fact, it may feel like your heart is breaking. These painful emotional feelings often manifest as the physical sensation of tightness and heaviness in the area of your heart. Your shoulders may also ache. They may pull forward as if ...
Views: 2886 - ***Mood Swings During Grief - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVDuring grief you may find your mood swinging back and forth between guilt and anger. Or you may feel depression and anxiety shifting quickly inside. These mood swings can cause you to feel stuck and confused about your grief. You may find yourself directing anger at yourself or at your deceased ...
Views: 4037 - ***Are You Grieving? - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVThe complicated feelings involved in the grief process can continue for some time. One common problem grievers often encounter is the inability to concentrate. While there are certainly other reasons why you may be unable to concentrate, grief can very definitely bring on loss of concentration. ...
Views: 932 - ***What to do with Wedding Rings - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVOne of the big questions which comes to mind when you lose your spouse is whether or not you wish to remove your rings. You may also question when is the appropriate time to remove your rings. And you may also hear advice from family and friends about how to handle these deeply personal ...
Views: 1074 - ***Selective Memory - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVThe mind likes to push us from black to white, from either to or, from positive to negative. When we remember events or people, we tend to sort the memories into categories. We see life as either good or bad. We say this is a good memory and that is a bad memory. The mind seems to be trying to ...
Views: 1828 - ***Fear of Forgetting - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVAfter my husband’s death I spent a great deal of time focused on remembering. At first the focus was confined to the day he died. My mind would check to see if all the details were included in my memories. As relatives gathered, the memory loop expanded. The remembrance became denser as others ...
Views: 1572 - ***Grief and Finances - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVDo you know your net worth? The first time I was asked this question I had no idea what it meant. Even though I paid the bills for our farming business, I really did not pay attention to the bigger picture. I had money to pay the bills. That was the important thing. Right? When my husband died ...
Views: 1046 - ***Gratitude Journal, A Tool for the Grieving Heart - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVSeveral times over the past few years I began to keep a gratitude journal. I bought a special notebook and pen and kept them by my bed. I wrote for a few days. Then I would forget for a day. Then I would stop completely. Last year I made a commitment to myself to write in my journal for 21 ...
Views: 1176 - ***Finding Balance While Grieving - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVOne of the most important things I do each day is stand on one foot. I know, that sounds silly. I will explain. A couple months ago I added a new yoga pose to my morning routine. I begin by standing straight and tall with my feet together. Then I bend at the waist, lifting one leg straight back ...
Views: 1028 - ***Grief and Telling the Truth - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVWhile I would not say that I am a people pleaser, I would say that I prefer to avoid conflict. In fact, I really dislike conflict. This desire to avoid conflict has led me to compromise my truth, especially after I lost my husband. Someone would ask me how I was doing. At first I tried to be ...
Views: 812 - ***Grief is a Journey - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2009 from John AOVSometimes life seems to become a giant “to do” list. It’s just about getting done and checking things off the list. We forget about the journey and focus solely on the end result. Then we experience frustration or annoyance over any delays in reaching the projected end result. The same thing ...
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