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Articles from Dr. Jeanette Raymond | Selfgrowth.com
- How to Recognize the Signs of Fear of Emotional Intimacy in Your Partner - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2014 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondAt the age of 34 Rory had achieved everything he had set out to do when he decided to prove to his father that he wasn’t a waster. He had an exciting six figure salary job as a buyer of exotic furnishings for a global interior design company. Together with a large upscale home, a beautiful and ...
Views: 1793 - Family Codependency part 3 - five more steps a couple can take to support rather than resuce each other - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2014 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondDespite the relief that Craig felt when his wife Sophie did his bookkeeping for his landscape business he was frequently choked with shame. The conflict made him snappy and uninterested in spending leisure time with her. He dreaded going to bed at night because he didn’t want to face his ...
Views: 1560 - Family co-dependency: the difference between supporting and rescuing a loved one - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2014 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondTrudy a twenty-nine year old local newspaper reporter and Max a thirty-three year old limousine company owner had endless fights about who was doing the lion’s share of parenting their two children. They argued about what to do, how to do it, when to do it and who should take the blame when ...
Views: 2799 - Family Co-dependence Stifles growth and development - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2014 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondDriving home from his last landscape design consult, thirty-three year old Craig’s stomach was in knots wondering if Sophie would have gotten over the row she had with her mother the other day. He felt bad for his wife who had tried and failed to arrange a family dinner, taking out her ...
Views: 1681 - Understanding your panic attacks - part 3: Fear of going it alone! - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondPanic attacks spoil your wish to be superior than your baser emotions You pride yourself on doing things the right way, being punctual, polite, well turned out and the perfect friend. You can’t abide people who are lazy, don’t make the effort and don’t seem to care how they come across. You ...
Views: 1533 - Understanding panic attacks - managing your shame - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondYou thought you had figured it out and that everything was under control But then just at the worst possible moment before the big event, panic attacks grab you and reduce you to a heap of jelly. You try to keep it quiet, push through it, chop its head off before it gets a grip, but you can’t. ...
Views: 3438 - Understanding and managing your panic attacks - part 1 - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondA panic attack out of the blue can make you think you are going crazy! If you are organized, in control and competent in managing your life, then the odd panic attack can throw you off balance. It can be unsettling and sap your confidence, making you question your whole way of operating. ...
Views: 1487 - How to motivate yourself without guilt - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondDo you take care of a bunch of chores that have been neglected for weeks, months or years when you see how hurt and upset your loved ones are at you? Perhaps you go to the other extreme of making sure that no one can find fault with you and blame you for anything by anticipating areas where ...
Views: 2533 - How to motivate yourself without self-blame and self-criticism - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondYou work hard to please the people you love. You long to see a smile on their faces. You hope that you have brought them joy. You want them to come alive because of your thoughts and actions. You imagine the scene over and over and it makes you fill up with desire and motivation to do that one ...
Views: 2414 - How to motivate yourself without shame - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondIsn’t it frustrating when you want to make changes in your life but can’t quite find the energy and motivation to take the necessary steps? You get all fired up one minute when the vision feels exciting and worthwhile, but the next moment a ton of competing ideas and scenarios come to quash ...
Views: 2941 - Hair Loss Can Be Caused By Stress and Emotional Silence - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondNia was stunned when her perfect relationship ended Nia was on top of the world. Her job was going well, and she had the best boyfriend any girl could ask for. He was attentive and affectionate. He was interested in her ideas and opinions. He showed respect for her family traditions. She felt ...
Views: 7651(1 vote) - Ten Ways To Use Anger To Build Confidence and Succeed - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondLouis shock turns to disbelief and anger The world caved in on Louis when his girlfriend of three years ditched him, complaining he was ‘too needy!’ Louis had been the devoted boyfriend and caretaker. He did whatever she asked no matter what the cost to him. He cut out his friends and family. ...
Views: 5763(1 vote) - Five Ways To Use Anger as a Positive Motivating Tool - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondAnger makes Zane protest and refuse to work hard Zane was furious when he didn’t get his pay raise. He remembered all the times his boss gave him signs that his efforts would be rewarded. Was that a dream? Did he misread the signals? How could he be so easily fobbed off with a few sweet ...
Views: 2050(2 votes) - What Are The Links Between Anger, Forgiveness and Chronic Low Back Pain? - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondRoad rage nearly causes Garret a heart attack Just as he was about to turn right and head for home, a driver on his left zoomed in front of 35 year old Garret’s car and raced through the traffic lights. One moment he was smiling at the thought of telling his wife about his big sales deal, and ...
Views: 3760(2 votes) - How Can You Use Your Anger Positively To Be An Equal Player In Relationships? - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondWhy on earth are we burdened with anger? Why do we have to battle with anger all our lives? What is the point of having this emotion? Why can’t we do without it? We aren’t needing to kill predators to protect our lives or keep meager food rations for ourselves as we did millions of years ago. ...
Views: 1838(3 votes) - How To Stop Anger About Your Past From Interfering In Your Present - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondKoren is furious that her son is being unfairly picked on As she drove to pick up nine year old Hector from school, Koren seethed with rage. She was confronted with a complaint that Hector was suspended from after school playground access for hitting another boy. Koren was mad at the ...
Views: 1742(2 votes) - Is Your Chronic Fatigue Linked to Stress and Painful Emotions? - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondPatsy swallows her feelings and gets tired out Patsy spent her forty-fifth birthday with her elderly mother who complained about the food being cold and bland. Patsy bit her tongue and tried to make something more appetizing. Her sister called to wish her a happy birthday, then made excuses ...
Views: 4476(3 votes) - What unbearable conflict is your acid reflux trying to get you to solve? - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2009 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondAchieving her goals was a bit too easy for Nadine Thirty-five year old writer and director Nadine got three clients as soon as she put the word out about her new venture as an acting coach. Her script for a TV show was accepted and she was hired to direct the production. She was amazed at ...
Views: 2035(2 votes) - How To Give Yourself What You Want and Stop Getting Mad - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondI do what you want, but you never let me do what I want! Justin had his heart set on the new BMW sports car, but Bernice wondered whether it was the best way of spending money at this point. There were other more important priorities like her business start up, the kids school fees and house ...
Views: 1617(2 votes) - Why Do Those Migraines Keep Messing With Your Life? - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondThe cures don't last, but it's nice to have care and concern! Bonnie was a hostage to migraine attacks. They lasted for hours and she was unable to do anything but lie down in bed until it passed. Sometimes her migraine was accompanied by nausea and other times by cramps or acid reflux. ...
Views: 1255(2 votes) - What's The Best Way of Expressing Your Anger? - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondDo you feel ashamed when you lash out at the people you love the most? Do you wish you could erase it for ever and be free of this beastly emotion? That’s because there is a taboo against feeling and expressing anger, particularly if done in a loud, over the top and explosive way. We don’t ...
Views: 2243(7 votes) - Do You Know When You Need to Feel Guilty and When You Don’t? - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondThe pressure’s on - everything depends on Wyatt’s speech! Wyatt was terrified that he was going to make a mess of the presentation, look weak and ruin the reputation of the company he loved. He imagined his mind going blank and mumbling. He saw a sea of critical faces judging him as he tried to ...
Views: 1670(2 votes) - Do You Have to Hide Your Happiness to Please Your Partner? - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondRita was happy and Norman hated it! Rita was on top of the world and Norman hated it. He couldn’t stand seeing her so comfortable in her own skin, and in such good spirits. It turned his stomach. It was unfair. What right did she have to feel so good when he felt lousy? Despite her ...
Views: 1944(1 vote) - Do Nice Guys Make You Panic? - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondWhy Do Nice Guys Make Sharon Panic? Sharon enjoyed the flirting until Rudolph asked if she’d like to go out with him on a date. In the blink of an eye she said “ Oh, I can’t. I’m really tied up and I’m not sure when I’ll be free.” It was as if Rudolph had pushed a panic button inside her and ...
Views: 1489(1 vote) - Tips on Feeling More Secure in Your Relationship - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondPity or genuine desire for connection? Watching Tom rapt in conversation with their guests made Roxy feel left out and unimportant. Almost as if he heard her wish, Tom asked her for her opinion of the movie they were all talking about. She could hardly speak. She didn’t want to be brought in ...
Views: 9546 - Anger Management To Deal With Emotional Blackmail - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondYou Mean I can Have What I Want? Fabienne drooled over that gorgeous pair of shoes in the store window. Just for once she wanted to indulge herself by splurging on something personal that wasn’t an absolute necessity. She had spoken to Larry about it and he gave her the go ahead. This weekend ...
Views: 3162 - Mad That Your Partner Isn't Who You Expected? - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondNo Welcome Home Made Jeremy Angry There was no happy smile. There was no light in her eyes. There was no bear hug. There was no gasp of welcoming delight. Jeremy’s expectation of a warm and affectionate homecoming was decimated. Wasn’t it only yesterday that they had exchanged messages of ...
Views: 1639 - Why Can't You Get A Good Nights Sleep? - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondInsomnia Jeopardizes Merdith's Job The future of Meredith’s business depended on one simple thing. Getting a good night’s sleep. If she wasn’t on the ball, she would lose the marketing contract for a prestigious corporate firm. There was no way Meredith was going to let that happen. She ...
Views: 1533 - Are Divided Loyalties Making You Sick? - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondMaggie feels caught in the middle The cliques and gossip in the office made Maggie nervous. She wanted to stay on the right side of management and not make any waves. She liked the manager at the Spa, who supported her efforts to bring in new clients. He was appreciative of her willingness to ...
Views: 1649 - What's the Right Amount of Guilt? - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondThe call came at 1:00 a.m. The call that never should have come. The call that Bruce would have moved heaven and earth to prevent. The call that ended everything when an apologetic voice dealt the fatal blow - his wife had suffered a heart attack at work and died. Medication just knocks him ...
Views: 1439 - I'm Mad That I'm Never Good Enough! - by Submitted on May 27, 2010 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondOUCH! Before he turned off the engine as he pulled into the driveway, Mia got on his case. He never appreciated her, he hadn’t fixed the shower door, he failed to pick up their son from the child care facility on time, and he drank too much! Doug’s breath came hard and fast. He felt attacked ...
Views: 1651 - Managing Anger When You Get Treated Like an ATM Machine - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondI Can’t Stand It - My Family Treats Me Like An ATM Machine! How the hot button was created Sharon helped her sister Ellisa prepare the party for their father's 80th birthday. As the guests left they thanked Ellisa and wished her father many more years of healthy life. Sharon drove home hurt ...
Views: 4813 - Anger Management For Better Couples Communication - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondKodi put his legs up and switched on the television. Checking out of his life by jumping into a hilarious reality show was just what the doctor ordered. Two minutes later Ciana sat by him and asked how he fared in his Engineering seminar. “ It was fine.” Kodi replied to shut it down. “ Did ...
Views: 2522(1 vote) - Three Ways To Manage Anger When You Feel Ignored - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondMORDI HAS HAD ENOUGH! Dinner was over. Now came the awkward time. Making small talk, being effusive with praise for the hosts, and having to be entertaining for the crowd. Mordi hated it. He also hated to watch his wife sing songs and play the piano with her friends. He stuffed his irritation, ...
Views: 3117 - Four Ways To Manage Anger When You Get Taken For Granted - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondPreparing for her younger sister’s visit put some pep into Shelly’s steps. She recalled Natalie’s last visit when they had fun at the beach, going to movies and eating out. The thought of having those precious moments again made Faith feel warm inside. She wanted to show Natalie the home she ...
Views: 1502 - Three Ways for Couples to Stop the Tug of War - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondValerie was hurt and upset. Barry dismissed her plans for the Thanksgiving holiday but supported the same proposals coming from cousin Ruth. What made it even worse was that Barry seemed oblivious to the stinging rebuke he had dealt his wife. Silenced by the lump growing in her throat and the ...
Views: 1772 - Are You Binging and Purging Your Lover Into Unavailability? Four Ways To Find and Keep Available Partners. - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondWHAT AN IDIOT I WAS TO FALL FOR THAT Nauseous waves filled Roxanne¡¦s stomach. This was the umpteenth message she had left without a response. A whirlwind of crazy thoughts whipped her with self-doubt. Why did I let myself be seduced? Why did I let this happen with a guy I hardly ...
Views: 1342 - Are You Secretly Thrilled When Your Partner Is Selfish? - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondJOE'S SELFISHNESS DRIVES LORRAINE CRAZY Lorraine was infuriated. She got in her car, raced the engine and zoomed into the street, the screeching tires magnifying her frustrated rage. She¡¦d show him! Let him worry about where she was, whether she was okay, and sweat over when she would be ...
Views: 1504 - Why Can’t I Loose Weight - Part 1. Emotional Trash Makes You Fat - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondMimi was proud of the ten pounds she had lost on her new diet and exercise regimen. It was easy and enjoyable. A few days later Mimi was part of a decision making team at work. Arguments and insults flying around made her afraid of giving her opinion. Right then Mimi sensed something was ...
Views: 1532 - Prove You Love Me! Four Tips On Unhooking From The Power Struggle - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondA savage bile rose in Tanya’s throat as she heard Martin talk to his mother on the phone. His patient, understanding and placating voice made Tanya want to cut the wire on the land line and smash up his cell phone. She wanted to feel his soft responsiveness - she wanted to be his one and only. ...
Views: 1653 - How Come I Never Get Validated? - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondTricia was sick of the online greetings, the phone calls offering good wishes, and friends wanting to throw Tony a surprise 35th birthday party. “ Why does Tony get everyone fussing over him. When it was my 30th birthday no one did anything special. It sucks,” Tricia puked out at she stepped on ...
Views: 1288 - Conflict Brings The Sexiest High - Five Reasons Why, Five Ways To Re-configure. - by Submitted on Dec 13, 2007 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondOliver¡¦s guilty voice squeaked ¡§I¡¦m going out for a drink with my friends, okay?¡¨ Megan pounced on him like a cat determined not to let the mouse escape. ¡§You only just got home, why do you have to go out again?¡¨ his wife challenged. Oliver¡¦s pulse catapulted into overdrive, his face ...
Views: 1044 - Dreams - Gifts From Your Customized Healer - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondAfter years of thankless work as a furniture restorer, forty year old Maggie took the plunge and became an entrepreneur. Her investment capital consisted of experience and hope. Business was so bad that she didn’t have enough gas money to provide clients with estimates. Then she remembered a ...
Views: 1486(1 vote) - When Both Partners Want Mommy and Only One Agrees to Play - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondJoe was mesmerized when he saw the new hire at work. Lenora was tall, blonde and without any makeup. A whiff of vulnerability glazed with competence wafted up from her body. But what really got Joe hooked was her voice. It oozed of innocence sucking him into her orbit. Like a cat starved of ...
Views: 1311 - When Giving Feels Depleting and Receiving Feels Like Obligation - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondYour boss tells you that you did a good job on a project, but it doesn’t please you. It makes you feel that he or she will expect more of you, and you will have to do even better to match those expectations. The praise and recognition was translated into more demands, extra effort and anxiety ...
Views: 1211 - Anxiety 3 - Your Ally The Driver Motivator - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette Raymond“ If my anxiety didn’t nag at me, I don’t think I would be bothered to make any improvements in my life,” said teacher Connie. She wasn’t friends with her anxiety, but she realized that without it pushing her, she would be stagnant and accept a life style that was far different to what she ...
Views: 1983 - Anxiety 2- Your Ally The Protector - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondTake deep breaths, visualize a serene sunset on a tropical beach, or get a good massage, are all remedie recommended for anxiety relief. For a few minutes you may breath less hurriedly, the tension headache may ease, and you can let go of the worries that invade your waking moments. But why ...
Views: 1632 - When You Say Yes But You Really Mean No- Your Body Becomes Your Voice - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondSam lived in hope that his best friend would hear him, support and encourage him instead of the constant judgments and criticisms that he heaped Sam’s way. Each time the hope was dashed, yet Sam couldn’t allow himself to think anything but positive things about his friend. He thought he just ...
Views: 1540 - Good Anger, Bad Anger, Part 3. Self-Sabotage Leading to Self-Abandonment - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondAdrian has many friends and no regular job. He works in intense short bursts for a few days at a time, becoming mentally and physically exhausted. As he recovers he begins to hate the life style he has chosen and becomes motivated to seek a more wholesome existence. But within an hour or two of ...
Views: 2889 - Good Anger, Bad Anger - Telling The Difference - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondCheck any listing of self-help groups, books or websites, and Anger management is likely to be given top billing. It has a bad smell, and it is frowned upon indiscriminately. Yet anger is one of our fundamental emotions, and it has a purpose and value. The survival and utility value of anger ...
Views: 4736(1 vote)