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Codependency Articles
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- ***Learn to Set Healthy Boundaries for Relationship Success! - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciMind Your Own Side of the Fence! We hear all the time that having boundaries is a must for healthy living and happiness in relationship. The only glitch is that a lot of people don’t have the slightest idea about boundaries, never mind about setting them appropriately. I find that ...
Views: 1370 - ***How to Build More Intimacy in Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciCultivate Your Intimacy! The hecticness and speediness of today’s pace of life makes it challenging for partners to synchronize, connect and bond. Add to this each partner’s limitations and the journey to Intimacy can feel pretty daunting. It’s no wonder partners ...
Views: 1483(2 votes) - ***How to Have a Successful Relationship… - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciAttune to Your Partner! What is a Successful Relationship? Is being with your spouse, partner, for decades the definition of a successful relationship? Is it raising awesome children? Is it having financial resources, a beautiful home? Is it having our partner do stuff for us? Is it having ...
Views: 1406 - Codependency and Power - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2014 from Darlene LancerPower exists in all relationships. Having power means to have a sense of control, to have choices and the ability to influence our environment and others. It’s a natural and healthy instinct to exert our power to get our wants and needs met. When we feel empowered, we can manage our emotions, we ...
Views: 1926 - Affirming Your True, Authentic Self - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2013 from Darlene LancerEach time you affirm your true, authentic self, every cell in your body cheers “Yes!” When you negate yourself, it has negative biological consequences. To build self-esteem and affirm your true self, try this: Take action to meet your needs. Express who you really are. Think good thoughts ...
Views: 1789(1 vote) - Are You Showing Up in Your Relationship these Holidays? - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciAre You Showing Up in Your Relationship these Holidays? The Holidays are always a difficult time of year for people for many reasons. At the risk of adding to the plethora of writing on this topic, I still feel called to share with you how you can use this time as an opportunity for change and ...
Views: 1652(1 vote) - Break the Rules Preventing an Awesome Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciBreak the Rules Preventing an Awesome Relationship Do you experience déjà vu, broken records and same old stories in your disagreements with your partner? Do you feel stuck and find yourself repeating patterns and fights without knowing how to break the impasse? You are not alone … This is an ...
Views: 1812(1 vote) - Dear Kim...Why Can't I Leave My Narcissistic Boyfriend? - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2013 from Kim SaeedDear Kim, I have been with my Narcissistic Partner for four years. He’s been cruel, demeaning, and lies to me left and right. I know he’s not good for me, but I keep hanging on to the nice part of him that I know exists. Aside from being emotionally abusive and irresponsible, he has a ...
Views: 5681 - Overcoming Codependency - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2013 from Darlene LancerCodependency is learned – learned inaccurate information that you’re in some way not enough, that you don’t matter, that your feelings are wrong, or that you don’t deserve respect. These are the false beliefs that most codependents grow up with. They may not have been told these things directly, ...
Views: 1648(1 vote) - Is Your Relationship in Trouble? - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2013 from Darlene LancerGood relationships run smoothly and enable you to enjoy your life, work, and activities beyond the relationship. You’re not always worrying or talking about it. Like a smooth-running car, you don’t have to keep repairing it. You may have disagreements and get angry, but you still have goodwill ...
Views: 1287(2 votes) - ***12 Signs that you may be involved in a codependent relationship - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2013 from Dean TaraborelliAre you worried that you may be involved in a codependent relationship? You are not alone. Most people associate codependency with a partner who has an alcohol and substance abuse addiction, but there are other situations that can foster a codependent relationship. Following ...
Views: 5562(4 votes) - "I Admire and Support him and He Abuses Me!" - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2013 from Sam Vaknin“I admire and support him. I am his biggest fan. I am his right hand and one woman audience. I am his best friend and his only source of succor. Yet, he constantly humiliates and berates me and abuses me in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. What gives?” He may be a narcissist. The narcissist ...
Views: 2190 - Holidays, Families, & “have to” - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2013 from Robert BurneyWhen we look outside for self-definition and self-worth, we are giving power away and setting ourselves up to be victims. We are trained to be victims. We are taught to give our power away. As just one small example of how pervasively we are trained to be victims, consider how often you ...
Views: 1318(1 vote) - How Do You Forgive an Addict - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2013 from Lisa EspichAs an author and speaker on co-addiction, and as a wife of a recovering drug-addict, one of the most common questions I get is how do you forgive? It is understandable that after all of the lies, betrayal, and pain that come with addiction that loved ones would have a difficult time forgiving. ...
Views: 2860(1 vote) - How Do You Forgive an Addict - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2013 from Lisa EspichAs an author and speaker on co-addiction, and as a wife of a recovering drug-addict, one of the most common questions I get is how do you forgive? It is understandable that after all of the lies, betrayal, and pain that come with addiction that loved ones would have a difficult time forgiving. ...
Views: 2381(1 vote) - Coping with a Break-Up and Rejection - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2013 from Darlene LancerRejection and break-ups are especially hard for codependents. They can trigger hidden grief and cause irrational guilt, anger, shame, and fear. Working through the following issues can help you let go and move on. Codependents often blame themselves or their partner. They have low ...
Views: 1795(2 votes) - ***Codependent Recovery – Has their addiction become your addiction? - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2015 from Dean TaraborelliMy loved one has only been sober for 1 month. Why aren’t they answering their phone? Did he/she relapse again? Oh no…not again. You call. They don’t answer. You drive by their favorite restaurant; their favorite bar. They aren’t there. You call their friends. No answer. There it ...
Views: 4399(1 vote) - Let the Dating Begin! 10 Common Sense Rules for Healthy Dating - by Submitted on May 26, 2013 from Telka Arend-RitterLet the dating begin! 10 Common Sense Rules for Healthy Dating Determine COMPATIBILITY before making a sexual or long-term COMMITMENT. *Dating is defined as the information gathering stage of an adult relationship designed to determine the overall compatibility of a potential life ...
Views: 4263(1 vote) - Unrealistic Expectations : An Unhealthy Ingredient of Addictive Love - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2013 from Jim HallAs human beings, we live our lives with certain expectations. For emotionally healthy individuals, expectations are more likely to be realistic and rational -- based on reality. For individuals whose emotional health is less-than healthy, expectations are often unrealistic and impractical – ...
Views: 4461(1 vote) - No Contact Rule: When You'e Addicted to Love - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2013 from Jim HallNo Contact Rule Cutting Out the Ex and Moving Forward Healthy people who experience a relationship break up generally experience universal stages of grief such as anger, sadness, and disappointment. Eventually they come to accept the loss and move forward. For love addicts, moving ...
Views: 2559(1 vote) - Are You A Punching Bag - by Submitted on May 08, 2013 from Cynthia OrtizIn some relationships, unhealthy ones to say the least, one person or the other uses their partner as a punching bag as a way of punishment; punishment for hurting them and making them unhappy. Instead of taking responsibility for their own happiness, they make you suffer. They may criticize ...
Views: 4171 - Where There Is A Will There Is A Way - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2013 from Moreen DuFermontWhere There Is a Will There Is A Way The truth is that we are living in our physical bodies and have “this” one life to live. We each can only take it one day at a time! Of course, I know that this is nothing new to you. In fact, its a philosophy you’ve heard dozens of times before; ...
Views: 1241(1 vote) - Breaking Free From a Toxic Environment - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2013 from Yol SwanAna (not her real name*) came to see me because she was having second thoughts about her job and relationship and was looking for direction. She had the desire to switch to a holistic career and had taken some reiki classes. She also remembered being able to see people’s auras when she was a kid ...
Views: 1409(3 votes) - Are You an Enabler and What You Can Do about It. - by Submitted on Mar 24, 2013 from Darlene LancerEnabling is a term often used in the context of a relationship with an addict. It might be a drug addict (which includes an alcoholic), gambler, or compulsive shopper. Enablers suffer the effects of the addict’s behavior rather than the addict. Enabling “removes the natural consequences to the ...
Views: 2438(7 votes) - Become Irresistible! - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciI have noticed that when we have the foot to the pedal, we are moving so fast that we actually miss the beautiful scenery around us. We go about life trying to get things accomplished to such an extent that we burn ourselves out and end up actually accomplishing less... So, what's the point? ...
Views: 1802(1 vote) - Choose to Be Happy - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciWhen we are in a vulnerable place, triggered, overextended, overwhelmed, stressed, hormonal, whatever, we function from a less than resourceful state and therefore can very easily fall prey to negative thinking, victimization, sabotaging, undermining, deprecating, blaming, abuse, neglect, and ...
Views: 1816 - Praise, Acknowledgement & More! - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciOne of the love languages is Words of Affirmation (book referenced above). Words of affirmation come in many forms including praise, acknowledgement, credit, recognition, validation, compliments, and appreciation. Each of these are a gift in and of themselves. When you use these, you show your ...
Views: 1865(1 vote) - Emotional Release Techniques For A Happy Life - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2014 from Dominica ApplegateAs human beings we all need to let go sometimes in order to experience a happy life. Keeping emotions locked up within ourselves is not healthy for us or for those close to us. This is why emotional release is a necessary thing. The problem is that many people have no idea how to perform this ...
Views: 2003(1 vote) - Recovery and Codependency - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2014 from Dominica ApplegateIf you’re struggling with codependency, I want you to know that codependence recovery is an important part of getting through your issues and gaining some freedom. Not everyone’s path will look the same, but committing to some sort of recovery will be most beneficial to you. Breaking the ...
Views: 2190(1 vote) - Recovery from Codependency - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2013 from Darlene LancerCodependency is often thought of as a relationship problem and considered by many to be a disease. In the past, it was applied to relationships with alcoholics and drug addicts. It is a relationship problem; however, the relationship that’s the problem is not with someone else, but the ...
Views: 2864(8 votes) - Ascension & Leaving The Matrix, Part I: Mayan Calendar Shift, 12-21-12 - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2013 from Zarla LeahIf you find yourself alone, bored and empty inside during the holidays, then ask God to help you to find your people, your place, your focus and activities. If you are alone, that means that the people surrounding you where you are are not the right friends for you and you have chosen to not ...
Views: 1458 - Are you a CAVE Dweller? - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2012 from Debbi DickinsonThere was an extended period of time in my life where I was a CAVE dweller. We all know people that are. CAVE is an acronym for Citizens Against Virtually Everything. CAVE dwellers are the people that look at life as a glass that is half full and complain about it. They complain loudly about ...
Views: 1914(1 vote) - 6 Tips for Letting Go - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2013 from Darlene LancerHave you been told, “Just let go of it,” or tell yourself, “I have to let go,” but wonder, how? I’ve asked myself that question. Sometimes you want to let go of a worry or an obsession about someone else. You may try to detach, but can't. Other times when you can’t move forward after a major ...
Views: 2895(8 votes) - Boundaries and healing the self - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2012 from Nikki HowesHave you ever felt you were giving too much to others? taking on their problems or allowing them to dump their problems on you? Is it hard for you to say no or tell another person how you are feeling without guilt or shame? These may be signs that your boundaries are fuzzy and could benefit ...
Views: 2336(1 vote) - The Human Magnet Syndrome – We are all Human Magnets (Excerpt from Book) - by Submitted on Jan 12, 2013 from Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed. LCPC CADCINTRODUCTION About 30 years ago, my dad joked (or so I thought was a joke): “The soul mate of your dreams is gonna become the cellmate of your nightmares.” It takes some of us decades to realize that our parents were actually a lot smarter than we gave them credit for. What I thought was just ...
Views: 2471(3 votes) - ***Intimacy is Scary – Are YOU Ready? - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2018 from Dr. Erica GoodstoneMost of us believe that we want to have a loving and intimate relationship with a significant other. But we may not realize what that actually means. We may not be ready to deal with and reveal our own inner demons, those parts of our self that cause us to feel hurt, insecure, ashamed and ...
Views: 4817(5 votes) - Breaking Up Is Hard to Do - by Submitted on Oct 20, 2012 from Amy TorresSaying the words, "I want to break up," whether with respect to a marital relationship or any other committed romantic relationship, is one of the hardest things a human being ever has to do. Making the conscious choice to end one of the strongest bonds we have ever made frightens us to our ...
Views: 1878(2 votes) - Are You Codependent? - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2012 from Lisa EspichAre you in a relationship with an addict? Have your attempts at helping that person failed? Do you feel powerless? Codependency is a term used when one person develops unhealthy patterns due to the involvement with another person who has the disease of addiction. Some of the negative patterns ...
Views: 1813(1 vote) - When the Narcissist and Codependent Reverse Their Roles - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2012 from Sam VakninSometimes, the breakup is initiated by the long-suffering spouse or intimate partner of the narcissist or psychopath. As she develops and matures, gaining in self-confidence and a modicum of self-esteem (ironically, at the narcissist’s behest in his capacity as her “guru” and “father figure”), ...
Views: 17997(2 votes) - Countering Abandonment and Separation Anxiety - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2012 from Sam VakninClinging and smothering behaviours are the unsavoury consequences of a deep-set existential, almost mortal fear of abandonment and separation. For the codependent to maintain a long-term, healthy relationship, she must first confront her anxieties head on. This can be done via psychotherapy: the ...
Views: 3237(1 vote) - "I am Terrified that S/he will Abandon Me! I will Do Anything to Avoid It!" - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2012 from Sam VakninClinging and smothering behaviours are the unsavoury consequences of a deep-set existential, almost mortal fear of abandonment and separation. For the codependent to maintain a long-term, healthy relationship, she must first confront her anxieties head on. This can be done via psychotherapy: the ...
Views: 1998(2 votes) - Romantic Jealousy - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2012 from Sam VakninPathological envy is not the same as romantic jealousy. These two emotions have little to do with each other. Romantic jealousy is the product of a violation of trust; a breach of romantic exclusivity of intimacy; and a denial of possession. It also involves damage to the self-esteem and ...
Views: 1787(1 vote) - Stop Selling Your Love and Be You - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2012 from Dr. Erica GoodstoneStop selling your love. Be You - The Greatest Gift of All. Become a love consultant, share your love freely and openly, and watch love easily and effortlessly rebound to you. Have you ever met someone who keeps telling you how wonderful they are, how caring and loving they are, and how ...
Views: 2216(1 vote) - Are You Worthy of Love? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2012 from Dr. Erica GoodstoneThe music industry is obsessed with love. Songs about love reach #1 on the charts over and over again. But the type of love sung about is often more like compulsion, neediness, personal inadequacy, idealization of another, mystery, novelty, unavailability, codependency and actually the ...
Views: 2788(3 votes) - Being Brave and Sensible by coming to Jupiter Counseling for Addiction and Abuse Treatment - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2012 from Scott McCownNot everyone who takes drugs in an addict or even likely to become one, just as not everyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic. In fact here are many who, notwithstanding the campaigns against both indulge in substance abuse. Students are especially fond of acquiring a skin full and making ...
Views: 1506 - Shame - The Hidden Cause of Addiction and Codependency - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2013 from Darlene LancerShame is so painful to the psyche that most people will do anything to avoid it – even though it’s a natural emotion that everyone has. It’s a physiologic response of the autonomic nervous system. You might blush, have a rapid heartbeat, break into a sweat, freeze, hang your head, slump your ...
Views: 3143(2 votes) - What Is Codependence and How Does It Affect My Life? - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2012 from Suzanne E. Harrill, M. Ed., LPCCodependence is a new word that became popular in the 1980's. It has become a buzzword and important for you to understand in becoming the person you want to be. In less aware times codependence was considered normal. To be good, perfect, compliant, agreeable, giving, and selfless was rewarded ...
Views: 2002 - Navigating You & Me With Love & Compassion: Pet Peeves: Accept Or Reject? - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2012 from Ragini MichaelsEveryday Dilemma: Should I keep my own counsel and accept my partner’s unpleasant behaviors? Or, should I let him know that I reject them and want him to change? There’s something very odd about us humans. We invite others to be our intimate friends, lovers, and partners because we either ...
Views: 1995 - Four Key Steps for Setting Healthy Boundaries - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2012 from Lisa EspichThroughout the first sixteen years of my marriage my husband, Dean, struggled with his addiction to alcohol, prescription pain pills, and crack cocaine. As his addiction continued to get worse, my ability to set healthy boundaries failed. This didn’t happen overnight -- it was a gradual process ...
Views: 3310(1 vote) - Navigating You And Me With Love And Compassion: Two Sweeteners for Intimate Interaction - by Submitted on May 31, 2012 from Ragini MichaelsEveryday Dilemma: Do I honor my thirst to be alone for awhile, or do I follow the longing in my heart to be together with friends and family? For years I believed intimacy meant being together with my beloveds - all the time! Everyone I knew suffered greatly from my youthfully exuberant ...
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