When we are in a vulnerable place, triggered, overextended, overwhelmed, stressed, hormonal, whatever, we function from a less than resourceful state and therefore can very easily fall prey to negative thinking, victimization, sabotaging, undermining, deprecating, blaming, abuse, neglect, and rejection of self and others. When in this state we cannot see the good, the beautiful, and what is working. We only focus on the bad, inviting more bad...

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this is not a good way to live. Choosing to live this way is to choose to live in pain, and lots of it. Unfortunately, most of us don't realize we are doing this to our own selves. We have a tendency to blame external factors when the reality is that it is all up to us to be happy. We do not realize that we have control over our own thinking and what comes of it. Our thinking is mighty powerful, it creates what it thinks! Look for crap and you shall find it...

The opposite is obviously also true. Think positive, creative, competent, empowering, energetic, outgoing, warm, loving, nurturing, compassionate, understanding, and other beautiful thoughts and you will automatically feel much better. It is actually that simple to be happy. I'm measuring happy as a state of feeling, not by measuring possessions, success and such... If you are waiting to have it all together to be happy, you will be waiting a long time. Nothing is ever perfect or done. We are always in a state of evolution and growth. Our projects could always be done a little more quickly, a little more efficiently, a little more creatively, a little more something. In a state of control and perfectionism, happiness can't exist. We have to let go.

Thinking we can control everything, including how others are, is a sure way to live an unhappy life. When we let go of the illusion of control and perfectionism, when we focus our thinking on how we can do things differently and take charge of our own self, when we look at situations from a growth opportunity place, when we look to stretch and grow ourselves up, when we focus on the gifts in our lives, then we can be happy and then we can create the life and relationship we want.

Taking charge of our thinking and perception, choosing to think and be positive, empowers us. This allows us to be happy and to attract and create beauty in our life, including a loving and beautiful relationship.

Go ahead, choose to think and be positive. Choose to be happy. Create an awesome life and relationship!

Happy Choosing!

Copyright (c) 2013 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.


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Emma K. Viglucci is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, is the creator of the MetroRelationship ™ philosophy and a variety of Successful Couples ™ programs and products that assist couples succeed at their relationship and life. To get your downloadable relationship enrichment insights and receive her weekly successful couples articles, nurturing nuggets (sm) and other resources visit: www.metrorelationship.com.


Author's Bio: 

Ms. Viglucci has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology and Human Development, from the State University of New York at Stony Brook, and a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, from Hofstra University, is a Clinical Member and Approved Supervisor of AAMFT (American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy), a Certified Family Therapist, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Certified Imago Therapist. Ms. Viglucci has been in the mental health service field for over a decade in diverse capacities and has been a member of several professional organizations. She is the creator of the Successful Couples (sm) ezine programs and products to assist Couples in their Journey. Ms. Viglucci brings Relationship Enrichment Insights to couples through her newsletter, blog, speaking engagements and media outlets.
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