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Codependency Articles
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- The Startling Reason We Sabotage Love - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2019 from Darlene LancerMost relationships fail and nearly half of American adults are unmarried. Why can’t we find love and why don’t relationships last? Paradoxically, as much as we want love, we also fear it. Fear of not being loved is the greatest reason we don’t find love and sabotage it in our relationships. In ...
Views: 38(1 vote) - HOW SHAME FEELS AND WHAT MAKES IT TOXIC - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2019 from Darlene LancerSprawled on the hallway floor, skirt flying, hitting and kicking, I wrestled with Tina before a crowd of junior high school schoolmates, including a dozen boys from my class. Tina was a gang member who had recently transferred from another school. She and her cohorts had taunted and insulted me ...
Views: 124(2 votes) - How To Set Boundaries | Backbone Power - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2019 from Dr. Anne BrownHow To Set Healthy Boundaries and Live Life with Authenticity | Get Backbone Power Audiobook by Dr. Anne Brown -a psychotherapist, speaker, author, coach. https://backbonepower.com/backbonepower-audiobook/ A No-Nonsense Approach to Making Decisions. A Self Help Guide to having Backbone and ...
Views: 81(1 vote) - Codependency and Narcissists: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Part I) - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2019 from Dr. Anne BrownFor this discussion, we are going to stick with our understanding of codependency as a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing one’s self and others. The people-pleasing aspect of codependency might drive the ignoring of ...
Views: 146(1 vote) - Claim Your Independence: 4 Steps in Moving Out and Into Your Own Home - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2019 from Meghan BelnapWhile moving out of a family household can sometimes feel like a confusing experience, the truth is that a bit of planning can go a long way towards helping you claim your independence and purchase a new house. And as many new buyers are discovering, now is a great time to purchase a first home. ...
Views: 86 - Unexpected Trauma after Abuse - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2019 from Darlene LancerCodependency robs us of a self and self-love. We’ve learned to conceal who we really are, because we grew up pleasing, rebelling against, or withdrawing from dysfunctional parents. This sets us up for trauma. As adults, even if we’re successful in some areas, our emotional life isn’t easy. ...
Views: 159(2 votes) - What You Should Know about Narcissists, Their Partners, & NPD - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2019 from Darlene LancerPoor Narcissus. The gods sentenced him to a life without human love. He fell in love with his own reflection in pool of water and died hungering for its response. Narcissism was named for him. Like Narcissus, narcissists only love themselves as reflected in the eyes of others. It’s a common ...
Views: 365(3 votes) - Guest Author Interview – Dr. Anne Brown - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2019 from Dr. Anne BrownTitle: Backbone Power: The Science of Saying No Genre: Co-dependency/Stress Management Synopsis: A No Nonsense approach to Making Decisions. A Self Help Guide to having Backbone and Integrity in all your choices, short term and long term. Is this decision going to be good for Me? To ...
Views: 180(1 vote) - Codependency and #MeToo: A New Way Forward - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2019 from Dr. Anne BrownRecap So, to recap Part One, we discussed our history as women as it relates to our relationship with men and how up until the middle to late 20th century we didn’t have laws to protect us from abuses. Women, along with children, were property of men. Men could abuse us with no consequences. We ...
Views: 195(1 vote) - Codependency and #MeToo: A Brief History of Abuse - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2019 from Dr. Anne BrownOur History When we look at the history of women as it relates to men, we see that it has only been in the last 100 years that we were given rights. Before we had rights, women and children were the property of men. Men could do with us whatever they pleased, whenever they pleased. This ...
Views: 232(1 vote) - Need-Fulfillment is the Key to Happiness - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2019 from Darlene LancerThe key to happiness is meeting our needs. Although codependents are very good at meeting the needs of other people, many are clueless about their own needs. They have problems identifying, expressing, and fulfilling their needs and wants. They're usually very attuned other people and may even ...
Views: 422(2 votes) - How to Leave a Narcissist or Abuser - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2019 from Darlene LancerWhen we fall in love, it’s natural to become attached and form a romantic bond. But once in love with a narcissist, it’s not easy to leave, despite the abuse. Although you're unhappy, you may be ambivalent about leaving because you still love your partner, have young children, lack resources, ...
Views: 318(2 votes) - Warriors say No With Dignity, NOT With Excuses! - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2019 from Dr. Anne BrownPeople-pleasers are at risk in the domains of finance, love, sex, family, and friendship. How is it that we can manage a successful business but still have a failed personal life? Extending a hand to others after taking care of yourself is how we make the world a better place for our children ...
Views: 301(1 vote) - All Of Us Need To Say YES to OURSELVES - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2019 from Dr. Anne BrownPeople-pleasers are at risk in the domains of finance, love, sex, family, and friendship. How is it that we can manage a successful business but still have a failed personal life? Extending a hand to others after taking care of yourself is how we make the world a better place for our children ...
Views: 244(1 vote) - Twenty Questions Identify Codependency Issues - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2019 from Randi FineTake The Quiz To find out if you are suffering from relationship codependency, please answer yes or no to the following twenty questions: Do you put others’ feelings, desires and needs before your own? Are you drawn to relationships with people who lack stability and/or are ...
Views: 293 - Regular Order: Natural Law According to the Dog - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2019 from Wm. Hovey SmithRegular Order According to the Dog All actions by my humans must be done the same way every day. Just as the sun rises and sets each day, our canine companions feel that their humans should also keep the same schedule and become disquieted when we are not compliant with what they view as ...
Views: 244 - Canine Supervision: Natural Law According to the Dog - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2019 from Wm. Hovey SmithCanine Supervision: Natural Law According to Your Dog For the safety and wellbeing of the household no human should be allowed to work except under the close supervision of one or more canine supervisors. Because of the pitiful lack of basic sensory functions in humans such as the ...
Views: 228 - Recovering From Relationship Codependency - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2018 from Randi FineRecovering From Relationship Codependency (Codependency Part Two) written by Randi G. Fine Originally published on Life As A Human Codependency is an emotional disorder that begins forming in childhood, but it does not reveal itself until a person starts having adult ...
Views: 523 - Confusion and Disappointment of Love Addiction - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2018 from Randi FineConfusion and Disappointment of Love Addiction (Codependency Part One) written by Randi G Fine, originally published on Life As A Human Have you ever believed that you could love someone enough to fix whatever is wrong in their life? Do you have the ability or tendency to deny and ...
Views: 617 - HOW TO IDENTIFY AND DEAL WITH TOXIC PARENTS - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2018 from Darlene LancerToxic relationships include relationships with toxic parents. Typically, they do not treat their children with respect as individuals. They won’t compromise, take responsibility for their behavior, or apologize. Often these parents have a mental disorder or have a serious addiction. We all live ...
Views: 448(2 votes) - Is Your Lover 'Out of Sight, Out of Mind'? - Object Constancy and Borderline Personality Disorder - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2018 from Imi Lo“Although the push-pull behaviors in our current relationships seem to be triggered by our partner, they are actually a result of old fears we carry from our childhood. “ Anxiety is a normal part of being in an intimate relationship. It usually comes in two forms- the fear of abandonment, ...
Views: 575 - Is Your Job Threatening Your Mental Health? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2018 from Tori UtleyWithout our jobs we can hardly make a living, it is important to work, but in some situations, changes have to be made to adjust and save your mental health. Working every day at a job keeps you active, you can sustain a better social life by interacting with others out there, and if you love ...
Views: 384 - The Female Bully and the Codependent Part II: “A Smelly Turd in a Pretty Package” - by Submitted on May 18, 2018 from Dr. Anne BrownIn Part One, we discussed some characteristics of the serial female family bully, the way she bullies, her targets and her end game. We looked at some interesting characteristics also seen with the codependent; poor self-esteem and inability to speak her truth or express her anger. In Part ...
Views: 707(1 vote) - Narcissistic Abuse | Betrayal | Divorce | Codependency | People Pleasing | Authenticity | Backbone - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2018 from Dr. Anne BrownHave you been a victim or do you know someone who's a victim of Narcissistic Abuse and Betrayal? Are you getting a Divorce? Do you want to learn more about Codependency and People Pleasing? Learn why havingAuthenticity and Backbone will help you. Be among the first to see my newest blog ...
Views: 938(1 vote) - WHY ROMANCE TURNS TOXIC - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2018 from Darlene LancerMost everyone wants to fall in love, especially codependents. To us, love is perhaps the highest ideal, and relationships give our lives meaning and purpose. They enliven and motivate us. A partner provides a companion when we have difficulty initiating action on our own. Being loved also ...
Views: 1074(3 votes) - Codependency - by Submitted on Jan 30, 2018 from Dr. Anne BrownA No Nonsense approach to Making Decisions. A Self Help Guide to having Backbone and Integrity in all your choices, short term and long term. Is this decision going to be good for Me? To help Me be successful? How do I make the right choices? What are the effects and the outcomes. Ask ...
Views: 871(1 vote) - How Saying NO, Having a Backbone, and Being Your Authentic Self Can Help You Become Successful? - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2018 from Dr. Anne BrownIs this decision going to be good for Me? To help Me be successful? How do I make the right choices? What are the effects and the outcomes. Ask yourself, Who am I really making these choices for? Backbone Power was written to help everyone from mothers, to college grads, to people that have ...
Views: 1187(1 vote) - What To Do When Your Partner Triggers You - by Submitted on Jan 02, 2018 from Dominica ApplegateEver call up your girlfriend and start off with these words “Oh my Gaah, you are never going to believe what he did?” Chances are you've been in or you're in a relationship now where you get triggered. It's actually rather challenging to not be triggered when you're in a relationship, as ...
Views: 865 - NARCISSUS AND ECHO: THE HEARTBREAK OF RELATIONSHIPS WITH NARCISSISTS - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2017 from Darlene LancerThe poignant myth of Narcissus and Echo crystallizes the tragic problem of relationships with narcissists. They were tragic Greek characters in a story told by the Roman poet Ovid in Metamorphoses. Sadly, both partners are locked into a painful drama, where neither feel satisfied or sufficiently ...
Views: 1068(3 votes) - THE POWER OF SELF-TALK - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2017 from Darlene LancerAre you aware that you talk to yourself all the time? We all do. Our self-talk makes a huge difference in our lives for better or for worse. The question to ask yourself is whether your inner voice is your friend or foe. Our unconscious is impacted by the words we say in the same way that it ...
Views: 1072(2 votes) - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2017 from Darlene LancerOur mother is our first love. She’s our introduction to life and to ourselves. She’s our lifeline to security. We initially learn about ourselves and our world through interactions with her. We naturally long for her physical and emotional sustenance, her touch, her smile, and her protection. ...
Views: 1441(2 votes) - How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Nancy CarboneThose with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as ...
Views: 935 - How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Nancy CarboneThose with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as ...
Views: 683 - How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Nancy CarboneThose with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as ...
Views: 927(1 vote) - How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Nancy CarboneThose with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as ...
Views: 826 - How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Nancy CarboneThose with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as ...
Views: 597 - How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Nancy CarboneThose with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as ...
Views: 596 - 5 Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Change Your Life - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2017 from Darlene LancerOur thoughts are powerful – for better or worse. Thoughts can set off chain reactions that build self-esteem or undermine it. Authority over our mind is the ultimate power. “Mind is everything. What you think you become,” said Buddha. Thoughts affect not only our mental health, relationships, ...
Views: 1162(3 votes) - Is Your Partner Passive-aggressive? - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2017 from Darlene LancerPassive-aggressive people act passive, but are covertly aggressive. They’re basically obstructionist, and try to block whatever it is you want. Their unconscious anger gets transferred onto you, and you become frustrated and furious. Your fury is theirs, while they may calmly ask, “Why are you ...
Views: 1018(3 votes) - Your Present Pain Originated a Long Time Ago - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2017 from Dominica Applegate“90% of the present pain you feel is linked to unresolved pain from the past.” When I heard about this principle, I was like, are you’re kidding me? You mean to tell me the crazy-ass emotional insanity that shows up unexpected and uninvited in my life periodically is linked to my childhood? ...
Views: 735 - AUTHENTICITY HEALS: 6 STEPS TO BEING AUTHENTIC - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2017 from Darlene LancerAuthenticity is the opposite of shame. It reveals our humanity and allows us to connect with others. Shame creates most all codependency symptoms – including hiding who we are, sacrificing our needs, and saying yes when we rather not – all to be accepted by someone else. It warps our ...
Views: 994(2 votes) - Marriage after Sobriety - by Submitted on May 16, 2017 from Darlene LancerWhen long-awaited sobriety finally arrives, partners expect their past relationship problems will disappear. Often, there is a “honeymoon” period when they’re on their best behavior and reaffirm their love and commitment. After all that they’ve been through together, they have high hopes for a ...
Views: 885(2 votes) - Reclaiming That Little Lost Boy - by Submitted on May 14, 2017 from David HarmMy favourite recovery author is John Bradshaw. He is the one who introduced me to the idea of the inner child. And he also helped me understand that alcoholism is never a primary illness, but rather it is a secondary disease. Bradshaw believes that the primary illness is co-dependency or as he ...
Views: 979 - Stop always depending on someone else - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2017 from Joan Marie WhelanWe all have issues and problems that need to be attended to but it is wrong to put pressure on others to solve your problems or make you feel better. That is your job! Take responsibility for your feelings, for how you value yourself and for what is happening in your life. If something isn’t ...
Views: 1041 - Why Women Date Bad Boys - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2017 from Merryl LentzBad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do when they come for you? For some women, the answer is, "Hurl myself into his tattooed arms." These women are captivated by his untamed wildness, fearlessness, nonconformity, rebelliousness, boldness, charm, charisma and independence. With testosterone ...
Views: 1168 - Getting Triggered and What You Can Do - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2017 from Darlene LancerGetting your "buttons" pushed or getting "triggered" is an opportunity to heal and grow. The more hurts we've endured and the weaker our boundaries, the more reactive we are to people and events. Our triggers - our buttons - are our wounds. Codependents are off the charts when it comes to ...
Views: 1069(2 votes) - Is Your Relationship Toxic? - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2017 from Darlene LancerHealthy relationships nourish and support us. Like poison, a toxic relationship is one that is damaging to us. Instead of uplifting us, it makes us feel worse. When it ends, we might experience post-traumatic stress or a lessening of our self-esteem and trust in ourselves and others. Although ...
Views: 996(2 votes) - Codependency is based on Fake Facts - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2017 from Darlene LancerCodependency is based on a lie. Its symptoms develop to cope with the deep, but false and painful belief – that “I’m not worthy of love and respect.” In the chart to the left, core symptoms of codependency are in red, but nearly all the symptoms revolve around shame – the shame that accompanies ...
Views: 1309(1 vote) - Child Abuse: Should Someone Expect Other People To Empathise Them If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperThe beginning of someone’s life can be a time when they received what they needed in order to develop into a well-adjusted adult. As a result of this, they will now have what they need to handle life. Now, this is not to say that their life will be plain sailing; what it comes down to is ...
Views: 1014 - Relationship Killers: Anger and Resentment - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2017 from Darlene LancerAnger hurts. It’s a reaction to not getting what we want or need. Anger escalates to rage when we feel assaulted or threatened. It could be physical, emotional, or abstract, such as an attack on our reputation. When we react disproportionately to our present circumstance, it’s because we’re ...
Views: 965(2 votes)