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What Is Codependency
Codependency is a learned behavior that refers to an obsessive need for affection, attention and affirmation. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because; this relationship based on emotional dependency is the other side of the coin of emotionally destructive and ... Views: 30815
A lot has been written about love addiction and yet it is still a misunderstood disorder. For instance, many people believe that love addicts only run hot —passionately pursue someone who is unavailable like in the movie Fatal Attraction. However, many love addicts also run cold ? appear aloof ... Views: 25232
Could your codependency or another emotional issue be the reason you want someone back who left you? When you are codependent, you are typically looking outside yourself for definition or a sense of self. It might be through material things or the roles you play in life, for example. You might ... Views: 23100
Parents want what is best for their children. If a mother and father do their best to raise their child, offering strong guidance and attentive parenting, then it is a job well done. However, letting go of that parental authority can be a challenge, particularly when the child grows into a ... Views: 20371
Sometimes, the breakup is initiated by the long-suffering spouse or intimate partner of the narcissist or psychopath. As she develops and matures, gaining in self-confidence and a modicum of self-esteem (ironically, at the narcissist’s behest in his capacity as her “guru” and “father figure”), ... Views: 17908
So – I Finally Quit Drinking. Why am I so Angry?
By Claude “Hoot” Hooten aka: Brad Edwards
Believe it or not, when we drunks finally quit drinking, we're angry. I remember thinking, "alright, I'm not drinking, what else do they want?" "I was giving up all the ... Views: 15875
There are very fuzzy boundaries between helping and enabling. If you’re enabling, you think that you’re helping, but what you’re doing is anything but helpful. Here's some information so that you don't confuse the two.
Helping
When you help someone you are doing something that they cannot ... Views: 15450
Are You a Love Addict? Are you in a Break-Up from an Addictive Relationship?
There is no doubt that for most people, “breaking up is hard to do”… for love addicts, breaking up is especially difficult. One of the most disturbing and defining features of addiction is withdrawal and obsessive ... Views: 14370
Those with whom we assemble we will soon resemble, so the simple old saying goes. Yet it tells of a deep Truth. It says that who we are the stuff of our soul at present is being transformed continuously by the nature of the company we keep; so that, in (our) essence we are always moving and ... Views: 11263
First let me explain what I mean by “emotional terrorism.”
When you have a relationship, at home or at work, with a person who’s constantly humiliating you, harassing you, pressuring on you, taking pleasure in your pain, saying negative things about you or making you feel worthless, then you ... Views: 11036
STEP 1
BETRAYAL
Betrayal comes in different guises.
Different types of betrayal:
• When a partner deceives you
• When people lie to you
• When someone cheats and robs you
• When people gossip behind your back
• When children trust their parents not to hurt them
• When you are let down by ... Views: 10013
Question: “I’m very sensitive. I can easily feel other people emotions. But, often, it feels as though I’m just bombarded and sometimes I don’t know where my emotions stop and another’s begin. I just have strong empathy abilities, right?”
Answer: Maybe.
In ... Views: 9965
Earl Nightingale said, "Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and ... Views: 8469
The "dance" of codependency requires two people: the pleaser/fixer and the taker/controller. This inherently dysfunctional dance can only happen with one partner who is a codependent and another partner who is a narcissist (abuser or addict). Codependents do not know how to emotionally ... Views: 8101
Ending Baby Boomer Burnout :
How to Stop Parenting Our Adult Children and Start Reclaiming Our Own Lives
Holli Kenley
“Both my 23 year old daughter and my 29 year old son have moved back home. I find myself doing more for them than for myself. I am exhausted, but they seem to need ... Views: 8010
Tracy, a 30 year old love addict shares her story of a relationship break up:
"When he said it was over, I stopped breathing. I could not gather my thoughts. I felt like it wasn't happening, but it was. It was surreal. My stomach turned up side down, my mouth was dry, I was sweating, my ... Views: 8003
Do you sometimes wonder why you feel so drained after being with some people, while you feel energized when being with others?
Some people are energy vampires, and actually drain energy from you. How do they do this? What can you do to avoid this?
WAYS PEOPLE DRAIN ENERGY
Sometimes the ways ... Views: 7717
Years ago I sat in a supervision group with a group of collages in which we discussed various cases. We were all new at this counseling thing, and frequently brought our “worst” cases to the group for any sort of help we could get. One particular day someone brought up a couple they were ... Views: 7703
The ability to shift consciousness has numerous benefits and can be taught. Our learning is integrated when we can shift our own consciousness. We achieve a level of self mastery ?recovery of our own attention. These are the tools taught on the avatar course. Some students integrate the tools ... Views: 7435
What is Emotional Dependency?Lydia consulted with me because her relationship with her husband, Andrew, was falling apart. Andrew had moved out, stating that he could no longer tolerate Lydia's neediness and constant pull on him to make her feel loved and secure. Now that they were separated, ... Views: 7314
Codependent behavior is not actually classified as a disorder by most doctors or the medical association. It is listed as a group of behaviors that are maladaptive. This indicates that the codependent person ignores the problem, such as stressful thoughts and circumstances, and attempts to ... Views: 6872
This man doesn’t make the headlines. He won’t steal your money or kill you and dump your body on the side of the road. But he can steal your heart, rob you of your time and kill you slowly from the inside out like radiation that eats at your heart and soul.
Does Your Man Act Like ... Views: 6537
If you ask most people about what karma is, they will most likely respond with references to “good” and “bad” deeds. Most people strive to be the best they can be for themselves and others. We want to be good. And yet, most of the clients who I see in my intuitive counseling sessions have to ... Views: 6422
Thoughts for Growing through Prayer Steps to Serenity
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. — The Second Step
“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds.” declares the LORD, “because you are called an outcast.” — Jeremiah 30:17
In the ... Views: 6373
Dr. Jasquith says that tyranny is sometimes expression of the maternal instinct. If that's a mother's love, I want no part of it. -- Bette Davis as Charlotte Vale in "Now Voyager"
The experience of having lived (or living) in trauma is probably the number one reason that brings people to ... Views: 5981
Who is the author most identified with the concept of codependency and the codependent? I suspect it is Melody Beattie. She herself was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict when, while working in a treatment facility in Minnesota, she was asked to hold groups for spouses of their alcoholic and ... Views: 5748
Typology of Codependents
Codependence is a complex, multi-faceted, and multi-dimensional defence against the codependent's fears and needs. There are four categories of codependence, stemming from their respective aetiologies:
(i) Codependence that aims to fend of anxieties related to ... Views: 5664
Dear Kim,
I have been with my Narcissistic Partner for four years. He’s been cruel, demeaning, and lies to me left and right. I know he’s not good for me, but I keep hanging on to the nice part of him that I know exists. Aside from being emotionally abusive and irresponsible, he has a ... Views: 5601
Are you worried that you may be involved in a codependent relationship? You are not alone. Most people associate codependency with a partner who has an alcohol and substance abuse addiction, but there are other situations that can foster a codependent relationship. Following ... Views: 5484
It seems to be a silent but growing epidemic of miscommunication between people in any kind of relationships. If you read forum comments, help requests are popping up everywhere, and the hurt from miscommunication seems to be a shared national pain.
Several factors have contributed to the ... Views: 5360
Many victims of narcissists are firmly convinced that they have been "chosen" by their abusers because of their capacity to empathize, their innate sensitivity, compassion, and their ability to love and care. Indeed, these qualities tend to attract exploitative psychopathic predators who ... Views: 5237
When I was young, they told me that being selfish was bad. They said that I should think of others first. I didn’t understand. What did they mean and why did they say that? I felt the terrible burn of shame when they said I was being selfish and self-centered. I couldn’t figure out what I had ... Views: 5154
Are you dreading the holiday season, believing you can not have a pleasant family holiday, because your narcissistic husband has a way of making you feel nothing you have done is good enough? Or, perhaps he despises this time of year and wants you and the kids to join him in his misery? Well, I ... Views: 5113
What is codependent behavior? When you try to define codependent you may see many definitions that essentially refer to the same problem: an excessive caring for another person that borders on psychological obsession. Is there such a thing as a person being too caring? Don’t all people desire ... Views: 5105
Codependency can often cause individuals to lose themselves in their relationships. They ignore their own feelings, needs and problems. Instead, they choose to obsess over the person that they "love." They are obsessed with the other person's feelings and needs. Although you would think that ... Views: 5099
Love Addicts create unhealthy and painful attachments to romance, people, sex, and the euphoria of love relationships. Love Addicts commonly search outside of themselves to feel alive and fill their unmet emotional needs. Love Addicts unconsciously look for others to “fix”-“rescue” them from the ... Views: 5081
Is there someone in your life who is spending compulsively, and you feel frustrated and angry with him or her? You don’t understand why they do what they do, and you can’t understand why they can’t just use a little more willpower. Perhaps you have tried bribery, threats, punishment, rewards, ... Views: 4981
Have you ever been verbally attacked and found yourself at a loss for words? Or have you become defensive and found yourself drawn into a verbal volley that left you drained emotionally and energetically?
Finding Personal Power Under Verbal Attack
Every verbal attack is either an ... Views: 4855
This is an interesting question, because there are some mental health professionals, as well as family heads, that believe codependency is a myth and that there is nothing wrong with “excessive care.” The belief is that while some people may find overbearing family members or friends troubling, ... Views: 4825
Most of us believe that we want to have a loving and intimate relationship with a significant other. But we may not realize what that actually means. We may not be ready to deal with and reveal our own inner demons, those parts of our self that cause us to feel hurt, insecure, ashamed and ... Views: 4721
If you are looking for codependency information then you may have noticed that the definition of codependent can imply many different behaviors and symptoms. The essence of the codependent definition is that a person will demonstrate excessive caring, to the point that it is inappropriate or ... Views: 4712
Frank is a social worker in a hospital. His job is demanding and involves the daily problems of patients and their needs once they leave the hospital. He is continually interacting with doctors, nurses, family members, and community agencies. Due to budget cuts, Frank and two other social ... Views: 4625
What is it in one’s spirit that enables them to break the cycle of a dysfunctional pattern of living and choose to live a healthy life? Recently I was asked that question by a gentleman in my community. Each time I visited his vitamin store he insisted I talk about my healing.
“What is it ... Views: 4547
Tired of being solo when the whole world seems coupled up? Many of the people I work with want to improve their wealth area but I’d say finding a new relationship (or strengthening an existing one) is also the number one priority of most people. When I do an analysis of your home and interview ... Views: 4520
Excerpted from the April 21,2011 episode of my radio show, A Fine Time for Healing
Roughly 100 million Americans suffer the effects of codependency today. Relationship codependency is often referred to as the “White Knight” syndrome, because the codependent tends to be a rescuer. ... Views: 4397
As human beings, we live our lives with certain expectations. For emotionally healthy individuals, expectations are more likely to be realistic and rational -- based on reality.
For individuals whose emotional health is less-than healthy, expectations are often unrealistic and impractical – ... Views: 4378
Codependent behavior can definitely impact ones quality of life in a very negative fashion.
In my own example it was very clear about the kind of men I attracted into my life before I "let go of my need to rescue." I attracted men who were distant or obsessed or addicted. I found men who ... Views: 4314
My loved one has only been sober for 1 month. Why aren’t they answering their phone? Did he/she relapse again? Oh no…not again. You call. They don’t answer. You drive by their favorite restaurant; their favorite bar. They aren’t there. You call their friends. No answer.
There it ... Views: 4305
At some point in my development (it's an ongoing process), I gained a fear of confrontation. As I went on, it became more and more prevalent and became a part of my personality. I was a "nice guy", which is fine and certainly carries redeeming qualities; however, I found myself with many ... Views: 4269
Ten Guidelines for Establishing Healthy Trust
“How do I know if someone is trustworthy?”
“How can I become trustworthy?”
“How can I ever trust again?”
Healthy trust is hard work. Betrayal, neglect, abuse, addiction and abandonment damage healthy trust but it’s never too late to learn how ... Views: 4254