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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Child Abuse: Can It Be Hard For Someone To Accept That They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused during their development years, it could take many, many years before they actually realise this. This could seem strange; especially as these early experiences will have had an effect on them. How much of an impact this stage will have had on them is likely to depend on ...
Views: 420 - True Self: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Lose Touch With Their True Self? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperOn one side, there is information outside of someone, and, on the other, there is information inside them. However, if they don’t have a strong connection with their body, they are going to have limited access to the information inside them. In general, then, a number of their needs and ...
Views: 298 - Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Deprive Themselves As An Adult? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to step back and reflect on their life, what they may soon find is that a number of their needs are rarely if ever met. So, while their basic needs might typically be met, this won’t be the case when it comes to their other needs. In general, then, they are not going to have ...
Views: 393 - Self-Ownership: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Feel Like Other People’s Possession? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone is the owner of their own body and mind, it doesn’t mean that they will know this at the core of their being. At this level, they can see themselves as nothing more than an object that other people have control over. They are then going to have their own body and mind but it ...
Views: 455 - Love: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Believe That They Need To Earn Love? - by Submitted on Sep 17, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperDuring someone’s developmental years, they needed love to grow and develop and, as an adult, they also need love in order to be at their best. However, although they will need love as an adult, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this need. But, even if they are not aware ...
Views: 291 - Individuation: Can Developmental Trauma Cause To Feel Comfortable Being An Extension Of Others? - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperJust because someone acts as though they are an extension of others, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. Furthermore, even if they were to become aware of this, it doesn’t mean that they would be able to simply change their behaviour. Through being in this position, ...
Views: 308 - Child Abuse: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone See Themselves As An Extension Of Others? - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn order for someone to act like an individual as an adult, who has their own needs and feelings, they will have needed to have had a childhood that was at least somewhat nurturing. The reason for this is that they wouldn’t have felt like an individual when they were born; this was a sense that ...
Views: 288 - Child Abuse: Is Someone Engaging In Repetition Compulsion If They Are Looking For Their Abusive Parents To See Them? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone grew up with at least one parent who was unable to truly see them, they are likely to have a strong need to be seen now that they are an adult. In addition to this need, though, they can also have a fear of being seen. When it comes to their need to be seen, this will relate to ...
Views: 262 - Mother Wounds: Does A Man Re-experience The Issues That He Had With His Mother When He’s In A Relationship? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is currently in a relationship, he could be with a woman who is often cold, distant and dismissive of his feelings. As a result of this, he could often feel angry and even hateful and low, invisible and worthless. Now, this might not be the first time he has been with a woman like ...
Views: 764 - Energy: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Give Their Energy To Others? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone will have their own life to lead, it doesn’t mean that it will be normal for them to focus on their own life. What could be normal is for them to spend a lot of time doing things for others. Not only this, but when they are not doing things for others, they could spend a ...
Views: 303 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man Giving His Mother His Energy? - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is often doing things for his mother, it will mean that a lot of his time and attention will be spent on her. As a result of this, she is going to receive a lot of his life force or energy. Naturally, the energy that he directs towards his mother is going to be energy that he won’t ...
Views: 430 - Helpless State: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Be In A Helpless State? - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for someone to feel helpless and as though they are unable to do anything. However, even though this is how they can generally feel and perceive life, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. As a result of this, being this way is going to prevent ...
Views: 293 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Was A Mother-Enmeshed Mans Father Also Enmeshed? - by Submitted on Aug 11, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is seen as a ‘mother-enmeshed man’, it is not going to be a surprise for someone to come to the conclusion that he is this way due to how his mother treated him. Therefore, if his mother had treated him differently during his formative years and treated him differently now, he would be ...
Views: 288 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Resent His Desire For Women If He Had An Unavailable Mother? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is attracted to women, it doesn’t mean that he will feel comfortable being this way. In this case, part of him will feel attracted to a woman and another part of him will experience resistance. By being this way, he is going to experience a lot of conflict when it comes to this area ...
Views: 316 - Being Seen: Can Developmental Trauma Give Someone A Strong Need To Be Seen? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperHaving the need to be seen is a normal part of life; this is part of being an independent human being. Nonetheless, someone can have such a strong need to be seen that it consumes them. As a result of this, if they are not doing what they can to receive attention, they can be thinking of ...
Views: 421 - Developmental Trauma: Can Someone Be Frozen In Time If They Experienced Developmental Trauma? - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperJust because someone is now an adult and their developmental years are thing of the past, it doesn’t mean that they have truly moved on from this stage of their life. However, if this is the case, they might not be consciously aware of it. The signs that reflect that they haven’t moved on ...
Views: 319 - Emotionally Empty: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone Look Towards People, Places And Things To Feel Whole? - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone can feel emotionally empty, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. But, what they can be aware of is their need to attain, achieve and experience different things. They can then be someone who describes themselves as driven and this could be how a number ...
Views: 239 - Emotionally Shut-Down: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Emotionally Shut-Down Around Others? - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, that’s if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that when they are around others, they have the tendency to lose touch with how they feel. This is then going to be something that just happens as opposed to something that they consciously choose to do. As ...
Views: 314 - Personal Reality: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Lose Touch With Their Personal Reality? - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperEven though human beings live on the same planet, what is clear is that they are not all having the same experience. Not only are there going to be different experiences that some people have in one country and some people have in another, but there will be differences that people experience in ...
Views: 372 - Sense Of Safety: Can Child Abuse Stop Someone From Developing A Sense Of Safety? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn order for someone to live a fulfilling life, they will need to be able to freely express themselves. And, to be able to do this, they will need to have a felt sense of safety. By feeling safe in their own body, they will be able to listen to their needs and feelings and then allow what is ...
Views: 302 - Adult Self: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Outsource Their Adult Self? - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone is an adult, it doesn’t mean that they will act like one. The reason for this is that, in general, they could look towards others to make decisions for them, to stand up for them and for guidance about how to live their life. Based on this, when it comes to how they ...
Views: 441 - Observer Ego: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Develop A Strong Observer Ego? - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhile there are those who lack the ability to observe themselves and need to take the time to develop this ability, there are those that don’t. When someone has this ability, it could show that they have spent a fair amount of time meditating. Then again, this could be something that they ...
Views: 432 - Child Abuse: Does Someone Have The Right To Hurt Their Parents If They Were Abused By Them? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that someone can experience, that’s if they have come to see that they were mistreated during their formative years, is a lot of rage. In fact, they can feel so mad that ending one or both of their parent’s life could enter their mind. Due to how they feel, it could be as if they ...
Views: 293 - Child Abuse: Can Someone Isolate Themselves If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone could live in a country and an area that is relatively safe, based on how they live, it will be as though this is not the case. This is because they could have the inclination to isolate themselves from others. If so, they could only go out when they need to do so, such as ...
Views: 462 - Self-Blame: Can Someone Have The Tendency To Engage In Self-Blame If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn general, someone’s inner world could be somewhere that is not very harmonious. If so, they might rarely experience positive feelings and find it hard to feel good about themselves. To use an analogy: their inner world can be like the inside of a house that is in a state of decay. ...
Views: 352 - Child Abuse: Can Someone Move On From An Abusive Childhood If They Just Forgive Their Parents? - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to see that their early years were not very nurturing, it could take a little while until they feel ready to share what happened with others. As for why it has taken them a little while to see this, this will most likely be due to their conscious mind forgetting all about what ...
Views: 393 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Woman Just Randomly End Up With Mother-Enmeshed Men? - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a woman has been with at least two men who were heavily caught up in their mother’s world, she could be totally confused and well and truly fed up. In all likelihood, she is likely to want to be with a man who is available. But, although she will want to be with a man who is like this, she ...
Views: 373 - Repression: Can The Brains Ability To Repress Pain Cause Someone To Blame Others For How They Feel? - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperThere is the chance that someone could work somewhere that is not very supportive, for instance. As a result of this, they could often feel worthless and even humiliated when they are at work. Along with this, they could be in a relationship that is not much better, with this also being a ...
Views: 296 - Masculinity: Can A Man Be Out Of Touch With His Masculinity If He Was Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn general, a man could spend a lot of time being in a passive state and not feel the call to do a great deal. By being this way, he is typically only going to take action when he has to or when he is encouraged to do so. When it comes to the former, this will relate to when he has to go to ...
Views: 512 - Repression: Has The Brains Ability To Repress Pain Led To The View That It’s ‘All About The Mind’? - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone has problems with their ‘mental health’ and they were to reach out for support, there is a strong chance that what is taking place in their mind will be the area of focus. Therefore, their thoughts, beliefs and even behaviour are likely to come under the microscope. It could be ...
Views: 402 - Repression: Is Someone’s Brain Designed To Keep Them Unconscious? - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperNowadays, it is not uncommon for someone to believe that who they are begins and ends with their conscious mind. This is likely to be an outlook that is supported by the society that they live in. Therefore, it wouldn’t be right to say that they just randomly came to this conclusion as they ...
Views: 488 - Child Abuse: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Have A Fear Of Life? - by Submitted on Jul 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone will have been given the gift of life, it doesn’t mean that they will see their life as a gift. Thanks to how they generally experience life, it could be seen as a curse and as something that they have to endure. What this can show is that they have the tendency to experience ...
Views: 443 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Need To Update His ‘Software’? - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to a man whose whole life practically revolves around his mother, it can be hard for someone to understand what is going on. He is going to be undermining himself, so this is to be expected. They can wonder why a grown man would be so focused on his mother and deprive himself in ...
Views: 371 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Why Doesn’t A Mother-Enmeshed Man Have Boundaries? - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the things that can soon stand out, when it comes to a man whose whole life practically revolves around his mother, is that he acts as though he is purely an extension of her. As opposed to being a separate from her, then, he will be a part of her that is not physically attached to ...
Views: 401 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Has A Mother-Enmeshed Man Chosen To Focus On His Mother? - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is overly focused on his mother and neglects himself, it might appear as though he has chosen to be with way. After all, he will be an adult so it’s not as if he won’t have a choice when it comes to how he behaves. Not only this, but if he was asked about this, he could also say that ...
Views: 348 - Individuation: Can Developmental Trauma Stop Someone From Being Able To Individuate? - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperPhysically, someone will be separate from others, but that doesn’t mean that they will act as though they are separate from them. Instead, they could have the tendency to act like an extension of others. What this means is that they will typically be a follower as opposed to a leader and will ...
Views: 480 - False Self: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Create A False Self? - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperFrom the outside, someone will look like a whole human being; however, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to act like one. What this comes down to is that they could live on the surface of themselves. Therefore, instead of being connected to their body and in tune with their needs and ...
Views: 408 - Inner Insecurity: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Feel Deeply Insecure? - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone will be an interdependent human being, it doesn’t mean that they will feel like one. The main reason for this is that they could find it hard to be by themselves, with this being a time when they typically feel all at sea emotionally. If they are around another or others, ...
Views: 372 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Need To Be Loyal To Himself? - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is overly focused on his mother’s needs and ignores most of his own needs, he is going to be very loyal to his mother. However, although being loyal is often seen as being a good thing, behaving in this way is not going to be serving him. Even so, it doesn’t mean that they will ...
Views: 355 - Unlovable: Can Childhood Neglect Cause Someone To Feel Unlovable? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperJust because someone doesn’t feel lovable, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. Consequently, this will be something that has a big impact on their life but they won’t be able to do anything about it. For this to change, they will need to become consciously aware of ...
Views: 424 - Trauma: Is There A Difference Between Adult Trauma And Developmental Trauma? - by Submitted on Jul 10, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf the average person was asked to think about both an adult and a child experiencing something that is deeply distressing and was then asked to decide which one would be harmed the most, they are likely to say the latter. They could say that as the child is not as developed it is bound to have ...
Views: 367 - Boundaries: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Build Walls Around Themselves? - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn general, someone could prefer to spend time by themselves and when they are around others, they could have the tendency to lose who they are. When they are in their own company, then, they could have a fairly strong connection with their inner world and feel free to do just about whatever ...
Views: 414 - Relationships: Can Someone’s Childhood Cause Them To Play The Victim Role In A Relationship? - by Submitted on Jul 08, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperRight now, someone could be in a relationship that is not very fulfilling, and there could be a number of reasons why this is. Now, this could be because they are with someone who is incredibly abusive but, then again, it might not be this severe. Instead, they could be with someone who ...
Views: 321 - Disconnected: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Disconnect From Their Body? - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to get into a relationship, what could soon stand out is that they don’t have a good connection to their needs and feelings. Before this, they might not have realised how disconnected they were. But, now that they need to be in touch with both of these elements, it will be ...
Views: 295 - Loss: Can Someone Feel Guilty After A Parent Has Passed On? - by Submitted on Jul 05, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAfter having recently lost a parent, someone could find that they are now experiencing a number of different feelings. There can also be a sense of shock around what has happened, with them finding it hard to accept that they will never see this parent again. When it comes to how they feel, ...
Views: 354 - Do You Need To Forgive Yourself? - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperA lot is said about how important it is to forgive another but, in comparison, very little is said about how important it is to forgive oneself. It could be said that one reason for this is that if someone blames another, it will be easy to spot; whereas if they blame themselves, this won’t be ...
Views: 438 - Did You Have To Give Up Parts Of Yourself To Be Accepted As A Child? - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperDuring someone’s early years, they may have generally been able to express themselves. So, while they may have had to lose touch with certain parts of themselves, they won’t have had to completely lose themselves. Alternatively, this may have been a time when they were generally unable to ...
Views: 599 - Emotionally Shut Down: Can Developmental Trauma Stop Someone From Being A Feeling Human Being? - by Submitted on Jul 03, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone is made up of at least three parts, so their thinking, emotional and instinctual self, it doesn’t mean that this will stand out. The reason for this is that they could come across as though they only possess the first self. Therefore, they could come across as though they are ...
Views: 333 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Care More About His Mother Than Himself? - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is in a position where he spends a lot of time and energy doing things for his mother, it is likely to mean that he will neglect himself. The reason for this is that he only has so much time and energy and if these two resources are being directed towards his mother, he will have less ...
Views: 351 - Emotional Collapse: Can Someone Often Feel Like They Are In A Deep Hole If They Experienced Developmental Trauma? - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone might not ever climb down into a hole, it doesn’t mean that they won’t ever feel like they are in a hole. They could often have moments when they feel they are deep in the ground. Not only this but when they are in this hole, they could feel as though they will never get out ...
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