Although someone is a human being that has a number of needs, feelings and inherent value, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. Instead, they could treat themselves like they are nothing more than an object that only has a few basic needs, no feelings and no value and purely exists to perform one or a number of tasks.

They are then going to be no different to an appliance that is here to be used and only needs to be put to one side when it needs to be recharged or repaired. In their case, they will be ‘recharged’ while they are sleeping.

On The Go

So, once they have been recharged, that’s if they have actually been able to sleep, they could soon be in doing mode. They might end up engaging in some kind of exercise or they could soon be working.

This could be what they do until the end of the day and once they have finished working, they could soon find another activity to do. In fact, just about their whole life could be structured with them having very little if any free time.

Another Part

Also, they could spend a lot of time doing things for others, being only too happy to be there for friends and family. To live in this way, they could consume a number of stimulants such as caffeine and nicotine.

Due to how driven they are, they might have attained a certain level of success in at least one area of their life. But, as they spend so much time in doing mode, there could be a point in time when they are unable to behave in this way.

Wound Up

If they were to slow down and took their foot off the gas, so to speak, they could soon be deeply agitated. They could then go back to what they were doing or they could take something to artificially settle themselves down.

By drinking something, for instance, part of them will be able to relax, whilst another, deeper part of them will still be just as agitated. Still, they can believe what they have consumed has actually allowed them to relax.


Ultimately, living in this way is going to cause them to neglect themselves. They can then be successful and appear to have it all together, but they will be harming themselves and totally out of balance.

As they are a human being that has a number of different needs, in addition to working, they will also need to take the time to relax and recharge. Also, to engage in activities that are uplifting and don’t have anything to do with trying to achieve or attain something.

Stepping Back

If they were to realise that they are living like a human doing, not a human being, they could wonder what is going on. Furthermore, they could struggle to understand why they neglect a number of their needs and rarely listen to their feelings.

Now, if they were to imagine not doing anything, they could soon experience a fair amount of anxiety. Therefore, not being in doing mode is not going to be seen as something that is positive; it will be seen as something that is a threat to their survival.

What’s going on?

If this is how they have been for as long as they can remember and they are only able to feel at ease and as though they have any value if they are doing things, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time when they were treated like they were nothing more than an object that existed to meet their parent or parent’s needs.

It wouldn’t have occurred to one or both of their parents that they had needs and feelings or inherent worth. Right from the beginning, then, they would have been forced to be a human doing and had no other choice than to disconnect from themselves, becoming super focused on their parent or parents in the process.

The Same Boat

Their true self would have gone into hiding, with them developing a false self that would allow to them please their parent or parents. Naturally, this would have greatly wounded them and stopped them from developing a felt sense of worth and lovability.

Most likely, one or both of their parents had also been brought up in the same way and treated themselves like they were an object. This is likely to show that they lacked self-awareness and were controlled by their own wounds – the past was then repeated.

Drawing the Line

For them to change their life, they will need to gradually reconnect to themselves. To do this, they are likely to have a lot of pain to work through and unmet developmental needs to experience.

This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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