In general, someone could spend a lot of time working, having very little time for anything else. It doesn’t mean that this is something that will cross their mind, though, as it could just be what is normal.

And, if they ever do think about how much time they spend working, they could end up justifying how they behave. They could say to themselves that being this way is better than being lazy and/or that they have so much to achieve.

A Similar Response

If another person was to say to them that they work too much, they could end up telling them the same thing. What this is likely to show is that as far as they are concerned, there is nothing wrong with their behaviour.

But, while they could be used to being told that they spend too much time working, they could also receive a lot of positive feedback from others. They could often be seen as someone who is living in the right way and as an example to follow.

A natural outcome

Yet, as they are likely to live in a society that is full of people that spend a lot of time working and working hard, this is to be expected. In this society, there can typically be seen as two options, either someone works hard or they are lazy.

The more time someone spends working and the harder they work, then, the more likely they are to be approved of by certain people. Needless to say, their life is unlikely to change any time soon.

Out of balance

Still, as they spend so much time working and work so hard, other areas of their life are going to be neglected. So, they might not eat very well and, even if they do, they might not exercise.

Along with this, they might not have any real friends or be in a romantic relationship. Or, if they are in a romantic relationship and perhaps have children, both their partner and their children are going to be overlooked.

A Break

If they were to go on holiday or simply took some time off, it is highly unlikely that they would be able to truly relax. This is likely to be a time when they will be thinking about what they haven’t done and are incredibly agitated.

Thus, it won’t matter if they are a few miles away from where they work or a few thousand miles away as they will be edgy. Once they are back working, then, they are likely to feel more at ease.

Stepping Back

After a while, they could get to the stage where they are unable to behave in this way any longer. This could be because they no longer have the energy to behave in this way and/or their health could be in a very bad way.

Alternatively, they could experience some kind of loss that makes them sit back and reflect on their life. Irrespective of what has happened, behaving in this way is no longer going to appeal to them and they will want their life to change.

A Closer Look

In addition to the need that they have to change, there is likely to be another part of them that wants to carry on behaving in the same way. If so, they are going to be experiencing inner conflict.

Now, if they were to imagine that they have stopped working as much and started to work smart, not hard, they could feel relieved. However, before long, they could end up feeling very low.

What’s going on?

At this point, they could struggle to understand why living a more balanced life would cause them to feel this way. If they have behaved in this way for as long as they can remember, there is a chance they were deprived of the love that they needed during their early years.

By working, they will have been trying to receive the love that they missed out on all those years ago. But, as this will have been something that was taking place outside of their conscious awareness, they won’t have realised what was going on.

It's over

The trouble is that as this stage of their life is over, not to mention that other people are not their parents, it will be too late. This is why they will have had the need to work so much and so hard for so long and nothing will have taken this need away, as love from other adults won’t make up for their early derivation.

Not receiving the love that they needed would have caused them to be deeply wounded and experience a lot of pain. This pain and their unmet development needs would have ended up being repressed.

Drawing the Line

For them to put their unconscious search for love to an end, they are going to have a lot of pain to work through. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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