What someone could find, if they were to reflect on how they see themselves, is that they don’t have a very empowering view of themselves. They might find that they see themselves as worthless, unlovable and even useless.

Having this view is likely to mean that they will have suffered over the years and continue to do. If so, their life is going to be anything but fulfilling and they might often question why they are even alive.

A Battle

Each day is then likely to be a battle and, as opposed to seeing their life as a gift, they could see it as a curse. But, based on how they see themselves, it is to be expected that they wouldn’t have a very pleasant time on this earth.

Moreover, they are not going to believe that they are worthy of living a life that is worth living. Still, this is not to say that they won’t have moments when they will hope that it will change for the better.

One Area

There is a chance that they won’t have anyone in their life who is supportive and makes it clear, both directly and indirectly, that they are valuable and lovable. Instead, they could have a number of people in their life that don’t treat them very well.

For example, at least one person in their life could be overtly critical and they might go even further and physically harm them. What this person will do is validate how they see themselves.

Another Area

When they are at work, that’s if they have a job, they could also be surrounded by people who are just as unsupportive. As with their personal life, they could often be pulled down and undermined.

As a result, they could have the desire to walk away from where they work and never go back there again. However, thanks to how they see themselves, they might not believe that they have another option.

No more

At this point, after being able to see that they don’t have a very positive view of themselves, they could wonder why they are this way. After this, what could enter their mind is that they were simply born this way.

Due to this, there is going to be very little that they can do to change their life, meaning that they will just have to tolerate what is going on. Nonetheless, regardless of how long they have been this way, it doesn’t mean that they were born this way or that they are unable to change their life.

What’s going on?

If this is how they have been for as long as they can remember, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time when one or both of their parents deeply wounded them.

So, throughout his stage of their life, they might have been physically harmed, verbally put down and neglected. The trouble is that as they were egocentric, they would have personalised what took place, with this playing a part in how they would see and talk to themselves.

The Truth

In reality, how they were treated was a reflection of what was going on for one or both of their parents and had nothing to do with them. Therefore, they were not mistreated because they were worthless and unlovable; they were mistreated because they were brought up by at least one person who was not in a good way.

Most likely, the parent who mistreated them, assuming it was only one, was projecting their own badness into them and was then responding to a part of themselves that they had disowned. Consequently, it wouldn’t have been possible for them to see their child clearly.

Drawing the Line

With this in mind, they will see themselves as worthless and unlovable as this is how another person saw them when their self-image was being formed. They will be seeing themselves through the eyes of someone who could only see their own disowned badness being mirrored back to them.

What this emphasises is how important it is for them to see themselves through their own eyes. Naturally, this is not going to happen overnight as they will be carrying a lot of junk.

New Eyes

For them to gradually see themselves through their own eyes there will be a number of things for them to do. First, they will need to question what they believe about themselves.

Second, they are likely to have a lot of pain to face and work through. This is a process that will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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