Before long, a woman may find that she is with a man who has two women in his life; his mother and her. He won’t just have a normal relationship with his mother, though, as she will be his main focus.

The woman, who should be his primary relationship, is then going to be like a woman that he is seeing on the side. As a result of this, most of the man’s time and energy will be directed toward his mother.

The Priority

So, if his mother wants him to do something, it is might not matter if she would like to spend time with him. And, if they have plans to do something, these could soon be put to one side for her.

It will be clear that his life will revolve around his mother and that, everything else in his life, will be of secondary importance. If his mother says jump, it will be a case of, ‘how high?’

Another Part

Along with being there for her, his mother could also make a lot of his decisions and have a lot of control over how he lives his life. Therefore, he will be an adult, but he will act like he is a boy that needs his mother’s permission before he can do something and is reliant on her guidance.

As for the man’s father, he might not be around or if he is around, he might not have much of an impact on his life. In fact, he could be like a doormat that is used to being walked over by others.


For a little while, she might have done her best to overlook what was and is taking place; preferring to give him and his mother the benefit of the doubt. At first, she might have believed that he was just being kind and looking out for his mother.

But, as time has passed, it will be clear that he is too focused on his mother and this is causing him to neglect both himself and their relationship. She could feel frustrated and fed up at this point.

Hanging In Their

Still, she could hope that before long, he will change and that this will allow their relationship to improve. If so, she will put what she can see with her own eyes to one side and do her best to carry on as normal.

But, she might not be able to deny what she can see with her own eyes for long and she could soon think about what she could do to change what is going on. One thing that she may do is look into why a man would behave in this way and what can be done to change a man that is like this.

Another Step

Additionally, she might soon talk to him about what is going on, with her taking a fairly indirect approach. For example, she could say that she is starting to feel as though he doesn’t care about or value her anymore.

By talking about her experience and not criticising his behaviour, she might be able to get through to him as he is less likely to become defensive. Yet, although she will have done the right thing by speaking up, it doesn’t mean that she will make a great deal of headway.

Two Outcomes

He could end up dismissing what she says and say that he is not overly focused on his mother or words to that effect. He could even make out that she is being selfish and has something against his mother.

Alternatively, he could, albeit reluctantly, agree with what she has to say and say that he will change. As the days, weeks and perhaps months go by, however, he might not change.

The Same Position

Either way, she is still going to be with a man who is unable to truly be there and, as things stand, has no intention of changing his behaviour. Due to what has been going on for so long and how much this relationship has taken from her and how little it has given her; she could decide to call it a day.

Then again, she could continue to try to change him, and, if he says that he wants to change, she could even look for a therapist or a counsellor for him. As she is giving so much and receiving so little, her well-being is likely to continue to suffer.

Stepping Back

If she was to talk to a friend or a family member about what is going on, one thing that they could say is that she is behaving more like his mother, than his partner. They could make it clear to her that she needs to let go of someone who is not good for her.

As they are on the outside, they will be able to see how she has changed through being in a relationship that is not serving her highest good. Ultimately, they will want what is best for her.

The Next Stage

It will now be a good idea for a woman in this position to think about how long she is willing to put up with what is going on. What might allow her to do what is best for her can be to think about how she will feel if she stays in this position for three more years.

If she finds that it is hard for her to move on and a big part of her has the need to stay, in the hope that he will change, it could show that she has emotional wounds to face and work through. There is a chance that she is unconsciously trying to receive the love that she missed out on during her formative years.


If a woman is in this position and she is ready to change her life, she may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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