After someone has been treated badly as a child, the same thing could take place now that they are an adult. Therefore, the hell they experienced very early on won’t be over, it will have simply continued.

However, it might not cross their mind that their adult life is very similar to their early years as this can just be what is normal. If so, the thoughts and feelings that they have as an adult are unlikely to be very different to the thoughts and feelings that they experienced as a child.

A Natural Outcome

It might seem strange as to why someone in this position wouldn’t be able to see what is going on but, this will show how much of an impact their early years had on them. For example, if they were mistreated year after year and this took place during the most important developmental period of their life and they were not exposed to another way to experience life, why would they?

Like a fish in a fishbowl, they won’t know that there is another way for them to experience life. Also, if their adult life is very similar to their early years, they won’t have experienced any that will have allowed them to step back and reflect.

One Conclusion

And, even if they were to think about their life and how it is very similar how what it was like for them as a child, they could believe that this is because how they were treated as a child is how they deserve to be treated as an adult. Thus, they won’t question why their adult life is a continuation of their early years and take a deeper look into what is going on.

If they do have this outlook, it can be seen as a natural outcome of the fact that they were egocentric during their formative years. Thanks to this, they would have personalised what took place.

Straight in

How they were treated was then not seen as a sign that one or both of their parents were deeply wounded; it was seen as a sign that they were worthless and unlovable. What they came to believe about themselves at this stage of their will be defining how they now experience life.

The reason for this is that how they feel and see themselves will be mirrored back by the people to who they are drawn and are drawn to them. This is why their early experience will continually be replayed; it is not that they deserve to be treated badly and to suffer.

Stepping Back

With this in mind, for them to realise why their early hell has continued and to gradually liberate themselves from the prison they are in, two things will need to occur. One, they will need to mentally detach from what is going on and reflect on their life, and, two, they will need to deal with the impact that their early years had on them.

For them to arrive at this stage, they might need to experience something that is fairly stressful. What something like this can do is allow them to get to a point where they can no longer live in this way, which can cause them to look for answers.

Shinning the Light

By going down this path, they might soon see that they haven’t been aware of most of what occurred when they were younger. This will have meant that they felt bad about themselves and were treated badly but they won’t have been able to join the dots, so to speak.

Without access to the inner material that is a consequence of their early years, they would have just felt bad and as though they deserved to be treated badly. Their brain will have blocked out what took place to protect them, not to harm them.

Drawing the line

As what has been outside of their conscious awareness starts to break through, they can connect to feelings, memories and thoughts. To handle and deal with what is going on, they might need to reach out for external support.

With the help of a therapist or healer, for instance, they will be able to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves and work through the pain that is inside them. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this, it will be essential for them to keep in mind that they are not worthless or unlovable. Nonetheless, for them to know this at the core of their being, it is going to take time.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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