Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
Dr. Romance writes:
It was one of those magical encounters with a personal truth—you know how it feels. I was fifteen, in ninth-grade English. The teacher, Mr. Rizzutto, read us a poem, and it had such a profound effect on me that even five decades later, I’m still using it as a guide. The ... Views: 1774
When a relationship comes to an end it can be an incredibly painful experience. And this doesn’t even need to be a relationship was fulfilling or healthy; as it can be painful no matter how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ it was.
So this means that someone can have the desire to get back with their ex and ... Views: 1613
It is often said that people shouldn’t have expectations and this is partly because it will cause them to be disappointed or let down. And while this can’t be denied, having expectations is part of life in many ways.
For example: when someone expects more from life, they are likely to ... Views: 1921
While there are some needs that human beings will need to have fulfilled in order to survive, there are other needs that can go unfulfilled without leading to someone’s death. This is not to say that it won’t have an effect on someone’s wellbeing though.
For example: if one doesn’t receive ... Views: 2083
Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on you, and how ... Views: 1437
Discover the great power in knowing what you want and not giving up.
"What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists…and it becomes available only when you are in the state of mind in which you know exactly what you want…and are fully determined not to quit until ... Views: 2044
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a retired police officer who found his wife sneaking around with another man 3 years ago. We have 3 kids. I cook and clean and up all night doing laundry 3 to 4 nights a week. I work two jobs to support my kids and family. I love my wife and forgave ... Views: 1560
Resentment is like quicksand…it really sucks! It pulls us in and holds us down, and we become stuck in our own self-imposed suffering. Forgiveness offers freedom from that suffering, but getting to forgiveness can sometimes feel like an arduous odyssey. Our defensive egos hang onto wrongs with ... Views: 1658
Dear Dr. Romance:
I started dating a man 2 years younger than me, who is from another country. I thought he was very sweet and gentlemanly and of course I'm really attracted to him, and he eventually asked me on a date. We've had several dates, and he's very considerate, very ... Views: 1782
Would you like more love and support from your friends, community and social networks? At the time of the Gemini New Moon life opens to offer you new social vistas! New soulmate-type relationship (people you vibe with and who are on your same wave length) potentials are available for you NOW! ... Views: 2121
Are you totally baffled as to why you only seem to attract men who are far from ideal for you? Are you tired of ending up with men who aren’t ready for the same type of relationship you want?
Before you give up on the possibility of ever meeting guys who truly measure up and want what you ... Views: 1368
Dr. Romance asks: Should you date someone who is divorced? Does it mean the person can't commit or trashes relaitonships?
It's possible that those things are true, but let's look on the positive side. What are the perks of people who have already been through ... Views: 2116
Dear Dr. Romance:
I was married at the age of 21, was married for 7 years, separated from my spouse a little over a year ago, and I'm in the process of divorce. I dated various people shortly after separation, but I was lost, broke some hearts, and simply didn't know ... Views: 1799
Do you sometimes find yourself resisting receiving love because you believe you don't deserve it?
Have you ever heard yourself say, "I'm not worthy of love," or "I'm not worth loving," or "I'm unworthy of God's love"? I frequently hear this from my ... Views: 1282
Do you want to be happy in love? If you answered, “Yes”, then you need to know the signs of a good relationship.
Common sense will tell you to find someone you trust and like. But you can learn a whole more with research-based advice that delves deeper.
... Views: 1596
It is not uncommon for someone to hear that they should just be themselves around the opposite sex or the same sex, depending on their sexual preference. And while this sounds accurate and exactly what one should be doing, it doesn’t mean that this is what always happens.
There will be some ... Views: 2708
The Victim Tyrant Cycle
By Julie Roberts, Ph.D.
This paper is about adults and not children. Children don’t have a choice when they are victims (they can’t leave their situation and if they do speak, often they aren’t heard). Adults have choice when they can see beyond the pattern that keeps ... Views: 2388
When Joe’s wife asks him to do something around the house, he always seems to go along and agrees to do it. But it rarely happens. He forgets about it, or he does a little bit of it but doesn’t finish the job. Sometimes he does the job in a way that isn’t really what she wanted. He feels vaguely ... Views: 1784
Q: My spouse and I often have arguments over the small stuff. How do we get past this so that we are not constantly bickering?
A: Ill bet neither of you would argue with your boss or work colleagues, or your childrens teachers the way you argue with ... Views: 1533
Ever wondered how con artists can get away with all they do? They know how to charm people, and they have mastered the art of looking as if they belong. Because they have no feelings of guilt about misrepresenting themselves, they can pull it off. But you don’t have to be dishonest and ... Views: 1796
Are you limiting your life – allowing fear to stop you from doing what brings you joy?
"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." ~Nelson Mandela
Do you feel passionate about your ... Views: 1329
Writing has a powerful effect on our emotional state. The following exercise is designed to help you fully express feelings that may have lain dormant for a long time, or may be too intense and jumbled for your to process effectively. Youll find it helpful in expressing what you feel, ... Views: 1587
You’re feeling vague resentment, but you’re not sure why. Your friend seems to ask more of you, expect more of you, than you’re willing to give. You’re feeling guilty for not capitulating to your friend’s request. You find yourself wondering why you’re doing something when you really don’t want ... Views: 1258
Fashion goes in cycles. Palazzo pants, then skinny legs. Mini skirts, then below-the-knee. The economy goes in cycles, too—boom, bust and boom again. So why not relationships?
I have a friend who’s close to her brother. But sometimes she’s closer than others. There were years when they both ... Views: 1301
In today’s world people don’t have to come to their own conclusions about what the world is like or what is true or what is not, as the media is there to do it for them. Now, if what the media presented was always accurate and there were no hidden agendas, this would be fine.
But the ... Views: 1511
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***Enhancing Our Brains Easily - by Barbara J. Stepp, Master Trainer of NLP, DHE®, No Fault Psychology™, Other than Conscious Communication™, Clinical Hypnotherapist
At 75 years of age and working with Brain Enhancement as a teacher, author and coach for 45 years, it has been and continues to be a delight to enhance my brain and help others do the same. It is really fun too! Don’t you love brain games?
A little over a year ago, I had a rare and ... Views: 4488
There’s a pervasive myth in our society that there is a right and a wrong way to love. However, there’s not much clarity about what the right might be. We all have difficulty with relationships and difficulty with love. Therefore, we’re liable to draw the uncomfortable ... Views: 1563
"You must do the things you think you can't do." Eleanor Roosevelt
There are women all over the world risking their lives to become educated. We must support them. How can we do that? We must begin to lift the veil of unconsciousness. We can't pretend the emotional/physical abuse that is ... Views: 1345
While human beings are inherently vulnerable, it doesn’t mean that they will always come across this way. And when this happens, they can come across as being unaffected by the challenges of life.
This is not to be confused with people who are actually strong; as there are naturally going to ... Views: 1719
At times, one is going to feel the need to help another; either through someone asking for help or as a result of one offering their hand without being asked. And as human beings need help from time to time, it is good thing that there are people like this in the world.
To help another ... Views: 1854
“What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” Carl Gustav Jung
Society has taught us that to get rid of whatever it is we do not want, we must fight it and resist it. We must never show weakness and we must never lose our focus on that thing we want to get rid of.
This ... Views: 8052
In romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real incarnation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid’s ... Views: 1491
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How often do you feel one-up or one-down in comparison to others?
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When you were growing up, did your parents compare you to others? Were you compared to siblings or other family members? Did your parents ... Views: 1149
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a woman in my mid-twenties from India and working in the middle east in a professional job. I had a brief arranged marriage and am now getting divorced. One of my business clients, who is an arab and over forty has been married for many years but claims his ... Views: 1436
"Never make yourself feel like nothing, to make someone else feel like everything!"
Rationalizing has to be prevalent when there is Domestic Abuse because how else could you convince yourself to stay. First you have to recognize that you are being emotionally, physically and or sexually ... Views: 1457
Each one of my children threw one temper tantrum in their lives. As with all toddlers, overwhelming frustration can lead to a meltdown of epic proportions. I was not the kind of mother who would wait patiently until them calmed down. Not me! I walked right up to them, grabbed their shoulders, ... Views: 2659
Many people struggle with feeling obligated, guilty, burdened, trapped and or heavy. It feels as though they are walking around with a huge sack of rocks on their back. The truth of the matter is, you are always changing. The universe around you is always changing and if you are going to keep up ... Views: 1705
I’ve been dealing with a lot of unwanted changes, and it’s not easy. Losses, disappointments, changeswe all struggle when life doesn’t go our way. Why is it so hard to handle change? Then there are the changes we want to make, fight hard to makelosing weight, giving ... Views: 1396
I have a friend, Maggie, who has been my friend since 1968, and she calls me her “bestest” friend as a way of appreciating our connection. It always makes me smile, and I feel the same about her. Often, my clients have trouble learning to appreciate and trust themselves, and I think ... Views: 1768
For some people, talking will be something they enjoy doing and this will be balanced out by their ability to listen. But there will also be people who are good at either talking or listening and yet, they will fall down when it comes to the other option. This is going to mean that they are out ... Views: 1941
“I want to learn how to say No so it doesn’t turn into an argument,” David said. He’d been married about two years, and came to my office asking if I could help him learn to talk with his wife “without getting so upset when we disagree.”
“I’m fine doing things her way most of the time,” he ... Views: 1887
Do you have problems having truly connected friendships?
Friendship is a big topic. There are people who always seem to have many friends, and others who can't seem to find the way to make friends. Some people have deeply connected friendships, and others have only superficial ... Views: 1254
How many times have we gone on vacation or somewhere away, have an amazing time only to return home wishing we were back? I don't know about you but it has happened to me countless times. Why does this phenomenon occur in our lives and what does it mean? When we are in a different place, ... Views: 1476
Dear Dr. Romance:
Thank you for your article on "Apology and Forgiveness". The process of forgiving is powerful and extremely helpful. I have searched for such information many years and have truly believed that forgiveness is not something you just do. ... Views: 1524
You have to be happy with yourself first… You cannot be happy in your relationship if you are not first happy with your Self… If you are not your Authentic Self, your Soul Self, you are just a robot completing daily tasks and missing the whole point of life… This is not Living…
What is the ... Views: 1993
When we think of codependence we think of it in terms of its association with substance dependence. We think of a partner who is codependent with a substance dependent partner. But this is not the case. Codependence can be a condition and state of being and dealing with life all on its ... Views: 1748
Anger is a poison in our relationship when it is misunderstood and unleashed. It gets in the way of understanding, connectedness, intimacy, love, and satisfaction in our relationship. Anger in its explosive or simmering manifestation, is a sign that something is wrong when it is prevalent. This ... Views: 1932
You’re planning your next vacation. Well, your only vacation this year, which is a pretty big deal because you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse haven’t had one in, oh, let’s see - quite a while. It should be a delightful discussion, after all, you’re talking about something you both want and ... Views: 1335
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your article "Motivation And How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)" and found it very interesting. I understand your point about celebrating and appreciating yourself to motivate your inner potential. However I am confused about how to order my brain for ... Views: 1395
While human beings are physically separate, it doesn’t mean that they are emotionally or intellectually separate. And as connecting to another human being involves opening up and allowing another person to open up, there are going to be moments where one merges with another.
This is not only ... Views: 2492