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SelfGrowth.com Recommended Articles:
Marriage Therapy: 8 Signs You Should See a Marriage Counselor - Dave Turo-Shields- These Decisions Can Increase Your Happiness - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaWhen you use smart decisions and self-awareness to shape your life, it will reflect your deepest aspirations and your fondest dreams. 1. Make your life your own. Decide to re-decide. Re-examine your goals and dreams. Don't just assume that what you wanted yesterday is ...
Views: 1388 - Dear Dr. Romance: I have never met him and he lives in another country - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I stumbled upon your article "Don't Make The Same Mistake Twice" while I was searching for advice on dating a divorcee. I can't help but wonder what advice you would give to a girl who has never been married who is currently seeing a divorcee. I ...
Views: 1407(1 vote) - Needs: Does The Fear Of Being Abandoned Cause You To Put Other People's Needs First? - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt is a challenge for some people to put their needs first and this is going to mean that they have a pattern of putting the needs of others first. This may mean that one takes care of their needs after, but it could also mean that one’s needs are not met. And while being selfless is often ...
Views: 1591 - Relationships: Do You Always Blame Other People For Your Relationship Problems? - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere can be times when ones relationships are free from problems and then there can be moments when this is not the case. One could also be in a position where this is the only thing they know and they have never experienced relationships that have flowed. Conflict Conflict is then ...
Views: 1579(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Throughout the years, there has been financial infidelity - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband and I have been married for over thirty years. Our children are grown. We own our home , but have a mortgage. Throughout the years, there has been financial infidelity: When we got married, my husband was evading bills from retail stores. I ...
Views: 1711 - ***Do You Have Trouble Making Decisions? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2014 from Margaret PaulDoes the fear of making a mistake immobilize you when you need to make a decision? Do you ever have trouble making decisions? Which rug to buy for your floor? Which couch to choose? What color to paint your walls? What you feel like doing on your days off? What kind of work you ...
Views: 1118 - Turnaround Time - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2014 from Tina TessinaSolstice is the day near year end when the sun is furthest away from the Earth, and immediately begins to come closer again. Solstice marks a celestial turning point, and it’s no coincidence that we celebrate the end of the old year, and begin a new year of birth and renewal at this time. ...
Views: 1414 - Problem Solving for Couples - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn a previous article “From Struggling to Solving” I discussed how to get from arguing to solving problems. Getting into the right frame of mind is a great start, but many of my clients also need steps for how to solve problems. Here are three of my most effective ...
Views: 1661 - *** When It's Loving To Share Your Feelings…And When It's Not - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2014 from Margaret PaulHow often have you shared your feelings and the other person became angry and defensive? How often have you heard that it's good to "share your feelings"? How often have you shared your feelings and it backfired on you? Perhaps you find yourself saying "But I'm just ...
Views: 1098 - Stress Free Parents - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2014 from Dr. Mona AeyshaIn todays modern lifestyle, everyone is stressed up, tired and bore, especially the parents. In most of the parts of the world, parents are usually engaged in earnings and greatly tired when back home. Even if one of the parents is not working hand, he or she must be doing house chores and at ...
Views: 1748 - Dr. Romance Video: How to Decide Whether or Not to End Your Marriage - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaTo watch video, click here Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these ...
Views: 1914 - Romance is Not Necessarily Love - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real incarnation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid’s ...
Views: 1418 - Mirrors and Teachers - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2014 from Tina TessinaThere are people I love who are easy to be around, and others I love who are more difficult for me. It’s not that they’re bad people, others get along with them fine, and, actually, so do I. It’s just that I have to work a little bit more to understand what they mean, to ...
Views: 1311 - An Introduction to Retroactive Jealousy - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2014 from Rick DaviesJealousy can be one of the most and disruptive and harmful of emotions. Often jealousy in relationships is directed at the present or the future. It is rooted in a fear of future loss - fear that one may lose their partner to something that is happening currently, or might happen in the ...
Views: 4287(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I would like to get out of this anxiety - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a 70-yr old man who has been married more than forty years. I read your article "Autonomy and Dependency" I feel like I've been in a codependency relationship the last fifteen years and havedeveloped anxiety & depression. My wife is a ...
Views: 1538 - Living Outside the Box - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaI was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a box about work. The box ...
Views: 1392 - ***Politicians Need Inner Bonding! - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2014 from Margaret PaulHow would our country change if politicians had to learn to love themselves and others before taking office? What if politicians had to be mentally evaluated before running for office? How many of them would pass as being emotionally stable and healthy? What difference might it make ...
Views: 1129 - Dear Dr. Romance: twice I have been let down by this man I so love - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance:My partner whom I have been in a relationship with for the past year has changed and let me down twice. We were first friends for several years & became a couple for the last year. We both fell in love instantly and desire to live together to build towards a good ...
Views: 1504 - Relationships: Why Are Some Women Emotionally Unavailable? - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt’s not uncommon to hear that women want to settle down and that men want to ‘play the field’. And based on this, women want to be in a relationship and men are not bothered about being in one. This is how men and women are generally portrayed and in some cases, this is going to be true. ...
Views: 4100 - Dr. Romance on shared laughter - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health: Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or ...
Views: 1637(1 vote) - Handling Anxiety Effectively - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaWe are all in a time of high stress, and national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not dealt with, they can lead to “acting out” behavior, such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money problems as a distraction. To avoid ...
Views: 1359 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am somewhat leery of another romance - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My last romantic relationship (that I thought was mutual) ended because she said one day out of the blue, "I don't love you any more." I think she never really did, but rather I was her crutch after her lastbreakup. I loved her wholly, with all my ...
Views: 1393 - Defence Mechanism: Repetition Compulsion - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one experiences pain and it is not possible for them to face the pain that they’re experiencing, they’re going to end up using a number of defence mechanisms. This could be due to how traumatising the experience is or because it would be too much for them to face how they feel. A ...
Views: 3451 - Intimacy: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Fear Intimacy? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperJust because one has the need to experience something, it doesn’t always mean that this need will be fulfilled. And this is something that can be said when it comes to ones need to connect to another person. For some people, intimacy is going to be something that they have always ...
Views: 1848 - ***Do You Remember What You Say When You are Enraged? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2014 from Margaret PaulDiscover why any kind of engaging when someone is angry is a waste of energy. "Rage can…shut off the hippocampus [linked to memory], and people with out-of-control anger may not be lying when they say they don't recall what they said or did in that altered state of ...
Views: 1111 - ***Where Kindness Comes From - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2014 from Margaret PaulDo you allow your natural kindness to shine forth? "Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we ...
Views: 1273 - I'm Right; you're Right - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2014 from John JohnsonYou are correct if you say we communicate using words- partially though! We also employ voice tone, gestures and body language, emotional state, clothing, the physical location (aka time/place setting) we occupy, and more; this is, in addition to the words we use. Even the lack of communicating ...
Views: 1369(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm really confused about a guy - by Submitted on Aug 11, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm really confused about a guy I know online from a social site, he's ten years older than I am. We've been in contact for several months. We now live in different countries. Recently, our chatting got intense and he told me that he likes me. ...
Views: 1946 - How to Cope with the Loss of a Friend - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2014 from Tina TessinaI was recently sitting in my favorite coffee shop, and remembering my dear friend who used to meet me there and who died not long ago. As I get older, I’m experiencing more and more loss, and so are my friends of a similar age. Those of us who survive loss still have to “keep calm ...
Views: 1857 - Abandonment: Does The Fear Of Being Abandoned Cause You To Please Others? - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to pleasing others, ideally, this will be a choice and not something one feels they have no control over. If one feels that they always need to please others, it is going to interfere with their ability to listen to their own needs and emotions. And when one feels the need to ...
Views: 1957 - Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing—where one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the ...
Views: 1704 - ***Is Unconditional Love Realistic? - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2014 from Margaret PaulDo you have the expectation that you will receive unconditional love from a partner? Most of us would love the experience of being loved unconditionally by someone. This is the experience we needed when we were growing up, but most parents are not connected enough with themselves and ...
Views: 1290 - The Genius Of Courageous Loving - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2014 from Valerie LipsteinThere is a genius to courageous loving because we have to access something we've forgotten and make it a real part of our lives again. It exists in each and every one of us yet it takes courage to access it. We can only access it when we become aware and we are ready for it. I believe, we are ...
Views: 1384 - Dear Dr. Romance: At first I was hurt, but now I'm irritated. - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I do not like my job, I have two more classes before I complete my masters in HR to move to a better position and recently passed the PHR certification. I was talking with my boyfriend about the environment at the company and how they are always threatening ...
Views: 1470 - Technology and Love - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaTechnology can have a big impact on relationships. In my counseling office, I see many couples who are struggling over Internet and social media issues. The ability to work at home via computer and smart phone can mean arguing about how work spills over and absorbs relationship time. Secrets ...
Views: 1876 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am allowing my narcissistic ex to run circles around me - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I am mindful that I am allowing my soon to be controlling, narcissist ex ( civil law attorney) to run circles around me, just as we did when we were married. After attending a divorce group session at my local church, they recommend that I set up some specific boundaries ...
Views: 1627 - If You Are In Doubt, Leave It Aside For A While - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2014 from Dr. Mona AeyshaWe are educated, informed, smart and vigilant. Even then we make wrong choices, wrong decisions, keep guilts and miseries. In one way or the other we suffer from our own misjudgments and misperceptions. We cannot control our mistakes from being happen and cannot save ourselves from being ...
Views: 1734 - Make Your Relationship Work - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2014 from Simone KellyIf you've been in one or are in one right now, you will know that it’s not always easy and euphoric 24/7. A solid relationship takes a lot of WORK and it takes two. See if you and your lover can past this test! Own Your Power, Simone RELATIONSHIP BASICS 101 Couples often lose track of ...
Views: 1328 - ***Are You The Person Your Dog Thinks You Are? - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2014 from Margaret PaulYour pet knows the truth of who you are! Many of us know how unconditionally loving most dogs naturally are – unless they have been abused. Even if you don't have a dog, you've likely seen the joy they express when their person comes home after being gone for even a few minutes. If ...
Views: 1750(1 vote) - Ten Easy Ways to Have Hard Conversations - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2014 from William CottringerTen Easy Ways to Have Hard Conversations By Bill Cottringer “Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” ~Ronald Reagan. Even normal communication, which should be easy conversation, is an enormous challenge today. The sad reality is ...
Views: 1895 - Dr. Romance video: Do men have biological clocks? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on men and biological clocks: To watch video, click here Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one? You’d think the positive ...
Views: 2050 - Relationships: Do You Expect Other People To Accept You Or Reject You? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to talking to people that one’s knows and gets on with, there is not going to be any thought as to whether one will be accepted by them. And this is because at a deeper level they know that the other person accepts them. So unless there is so kind of tension or something ...
Views: 1668 - Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaI have written in this column recently about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your ...
Views: 1641 - How Well Should You Handle Office Romance? - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2014 from Cecile PeterkinMixing business with pleasure is a very bad idea, according to many. However, staying in the office and working long hours have become so common that the workplace has eventually turned into a place where potential lovers meet. Career experts explain that while it is true that you can't choose ...
Views: 831 - Dear Dr. Romance: On my death bed, I will not be in the mood to explain - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your newsletter "How to Heal a Rift with an Adult Child" with joy, how you simplify things for us. I already tried by email, but it got more complicated. I received two emails, the second one, had a picture with the message ''see what you ...
Views: 1772 - Relationships: Do You Expect Other Adults To Fulfil Your Unmet Childhood Needs? - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhen one has the desire to be in a relationship with someone, they are going to have certain expectations. And the same can be said when one is already in a relationship. Now, there is the chance that one is completely aware of what these are and at the same time, there is the chance that they ...
Views: 2082 - Staying in Love: Do's and Don'ts - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2014 from Dr. Elsbeth Meuth, EdD & Freddy Zental WeaverSustaining intimacy and fulfillment in a romantic relationship can be challenging. Often couples find themselves lacking true connection with each other as the daily routine of their lives take over. Intimacy is a creation that has to be cultivated and tended to. When we take time to ...
Views: 1612(1 vote) - Re-awakening Intimacy after Childbirth - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2014 from Dr. Elsbeth Meuth, EdD & Freddy Zental WeaverThe time during and post childbirth for a mother is signified by GIVING. No matter if you nurse or not you give continually to your baby for months. The first step to returning to intimacy is to give to yourself: This starts with listen more deeply to yourself and having moments and practices to ...
Views: 1265(1 vote) - Breaking Up is Hard to Do!! - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown(A simple way to let go with dignity) "The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." Mother Teresa If schools had offered a course called "Breaking up is hard to do", I suspect we all would have enrolled. Why aren't we taught these difficult challenges ...
Views: 1482(1 vote) - There Is No Quick & Easy One-Size Fits All Success Prescription. So Why Do You Keep Looking? - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2014 from William CottringerThere Is No Quick & Easy One-Size Fits All Success Prescription. So Why Do You Keep Looking? By Bill Cottringer Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson. There is a very fundamental principle of psychology that ...
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