Do you want to be happy in love? If you answered, “Yes”, then you need to know the signs of a good relationship.

Common sense will tell you to find someone you trust and like. But you can learn a whole more with research-based advice that delves deeper.

The first part of this Women’s Love Quiz series tested your relationship smarts.

In this second part of the quiz, you’ll be challenged to spot the signs of a good relationship and see if you really know what it takes to be happy in love!

The answers come from my research with thousands of women and from the research and work of author John N. Gottman, and from Charles Murray of the American Enterprise Institute.

But here is a brief warning: There are always exceptions. Love cannot totally be explained or measured. Life still holds lots of mysteries, thankfully!

So use this quiz as a guide — and not as a rule…

Just like the first quiz, there will also be discussion points at the end of each question to teach you the signs of a good relationship and the secrets to be happy in love.

Women’s Love Quiz – Can You Spot the Signs of Good Relationship? Part 2 of 3

1. Marlena and Jerold met at a neighborhood picnic and liked each other right away. After a few dates, however, Marlena realized that she didn’t like any of his friends. She saw them all as “moochers” who also barely skirted the law in their activities. Should she break it off?

A. Yes
B. No
Answer: Yes

Discussion:
You can’t always predict how your childhood friends will turn out. And you can’t choose your colleagues. But a good partner is a wise partner who is selective in choosing friends with the same values and ethics. Take a close look at your partner’s core friends. These men can be either his confidants and advisors — or his worst temptation. A big, flashing warning sign is that Marlena does not like any of Jerold’s friends.

  1. Marlena is now dating Eric, whom she met in a local pub. She likes his friends, but she doesn’t like his sense of humor at all. His jokes are crude and sexually embarrassing. Should she end the relationship?

A. Yes
B. No

Answer: Yes

Discussion:
Shared sense of humor is about more than laughter. Humor is based on a foundation of values. Demeaning humor reveals an underbelly of anger, resentment and potentially harmful behavior.

Happy couples who laugh at the same things feel closer and safer with each other. Shared senses of humor builds trust, and it signals an ability to be flexible, observant and willing to love at yourself Eric’s humor is a signal that he will mistreat Marlena.

3. Marlena is fed up with her choices in men. She’s decided to re-kindle her involvement in her church because she thinks she has a better chance of meeting a good man there. Is she right?

A. Yes
B. No

Answer: Yes

Discussion:
Okay — television shows such as Dateline or 48 Hours often feature a pastor-gone-wrong. But, in general, shared religious values and participation are signs of a good relationship. And you don’t have to share the exact same religion.

The common bond is making an effort to live with ethical, social and personal values. Charles Murray discovered that religious couples benefit from the emotional support, guidance, structure, community, and moral reinforcement of the message at services.

4. Marlena met Oscar at church. On their sixth date at an exclusive restaurant, Oscar criticized her lack of knowledge about wine and sauces. He said in a mocking tone that her idea of what to wear for such a high-end restaurant showed her lack of style. Now Marlene regrets having had sex with him.

Yet, on the other hand, he is a church-going man. And he is right about her not knowing anything about gourmet food and wine. And she forgot to bring a change of clothes to work. She could learn a lot about life from Oscar. Should she stay with him?

A. Yes
B. No

Answer: No

Discussion:
It’s great to learn things from your partner. Good couples expand each others life skills and knowledge. The difference is that a wise choice of partner is someone who does not teach with criticism, disrespect or sarcasm. John N. Gottman’s marital research shows that criticism and sarcasm are signs of an unhappy and unhealthy relationship.

5. Now Marlena is dating Donnie. Her friends fixed her up with him. They thought he’d be a good match because he goes to the same church and is in the same profession as Marlena.

She noticed, after about six weeks of dating, that Donnie lets her make all the decisions about where to go to eat, how long to stay at an event, where to dine and what television shows to watch. Marlena’s friends are envious that she found such a nice man. When Marlena asked him several times to make these decisions, he waffled.

Marlena is having serious qualms about Donnie being a good partner. She can’t explain it, but she’s thinking of breaking up. Should she say good-bye?

Answer: Yes

Discussion:
Many of the women in my study were attracted to men who were nice, agreeable and mild-mannered. There is nothing wrong with these attributes — unless, of course, the man can only be these things.

Donnie has a small comfort range of behavior. When the going gets tough, Donnie will fall apart. He is risk-adverse and is paralyzed that he will make a wrong decision. The initial attraction of men like Donnie is the ease of being with them. They can make you feel as though you can “tell them anything.”

But don’t be so quick to let his sweetness make you fall head over heels. Test his flexibility in being able to take charge. You never know when you might have to give up the reigns — or need a “wingman”. Marlena should break up.

Thank you for stopping by. I hope these tips help you.

This quiz is Part 2 of a 3-part Women’s Quiz Series to test how well you know the ingredients of a good relationship.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. LeslieBeth (LB) Wish is a nationally recognized psychologist and licensed clinical social worker, honored for her pioneering work with women’s issues in love, life, work and family. The National Association of Social Workers has named her as One of the Fifty who has contributed to the field, and by Marquis’Who’s Who publications.

Her latest self-help, research-based books are “Smart Relationships: How Successful Women Can Find True Love,” and “The Love Adventures of Almost Smart Cookie,” the cartoon companion book where you can follow a year of Cookie’s love missteps and learn about yours! Check out her website www.lovevictory.com