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With bills to pay, rent to cover, kids to corral, too much to do in too little time, especially with the Holidays upon us and all the extra stuff that needs tending, doing, paying for? Joy? Give it a rest.
Well, I would, except joy is our basic nature. It’s what everything else we do is ... Views: 10
Ah, the upcoming Holiday Season--starting with Thanksgiving and ramping up through Christmas, with no let-up until the beginning of the year. For those who are already tired from a year’s worth of work, kids, parents, chores, and everything else, the Holiday Season, despite the many joys it may ... Views: 29
The mind-body connection is real. It’s not just a cute phrase, the brain actually releases certain hormones and other chemicals in direct response to our thoughts: endorphins, for example, when we’re happy, cortisol when we’re stressed. These hormones and chemicals impact how we function, how we ... Views: 54
The Paris Olympics were superb. The opportunity to watch the very best of the best athletes at the top of their game was phenomenal. Yet as I was enjoying yet another spectacular gymnastic move or shot-put, I realized how much we can all learn from these amazing individuals. No, not how to be a ... Views: 79
You’ve undoubtedly heard the phrase “Be here, now.” It’s a way to remind ourselves that life is lived in the present moment, and it’s well worth enjoying whatever we can in the present. But “Be here, now” is also a wonderful way to soothe ourselves when confronted by something anxiety-provoking ... Views: 101
It doesn’t matter whether I’m having trouble learning a new dance step, stumped on a piece of writing that has an all-too-soon deadline or forgot to pick up the dry-cleaning, whatever, my immediate go-to is to diss myself. How could I be so stupid, inept, or unconscious that I find myself in ... Views: 119
A woman is running on the treadmill next to me at the gym, moaning and complaining the whole time. How miserable she is at having to work out, how hard it is to get herself to the gym knowing she’s in for an hour of pain. How she’d rather do pretty much anything other than deal with exercise ... Views: 153
While I was waiting for my dance class to start, I watched an instructor patiently coach a couple through what was obviously one of their first lessons. The instructor was having them do a “box step,” which is what it sounds like. A “box” made with your feet. It consists of two parts, a forward ... Views: 153
Spring! Such a glorious time of year. Trees sprouting white and pink blossoms, tender new green leaves on bushes and plants, more sunlight, less gray. How delightful! If only one had time to get out there and enjoy it more. You know, as in away from your hunched-over-the-computer mode, using ... Views: 167
“Don’t get your knickers in a twist” is one of my favorite sayings. To myself, sigh. Because frankly, I find myself too often getting my proverbial “knickers” all twisted up over something that’s just not that big a deal. My passionate hobby is dance. Ballroom, to be specific. The other day, I ... Views: 210
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away--well, no, actually right here on Planet Earth, and not all that long ago, there was a thing called a “typewriter.” It was the precursor to our beloved computer keyboards and required no electrical energy, no wires, no plug-ins, nothing but your fingers ... Views: 220
Thanksgiving is traditionally a time to give thanks. Most of us are pretty good at that. We can usually always find people and situations in life that inspire us to be grateful. Until certain relatives show up for Thanksgiving dinner. Or the supposed friends you wish you hadn’t invited but felt ... Views: 255
It’s a funny thing about life. Sometimes when you get the things you wanted – the sporty car, the big house, the bling – it turns out they interfere with the life that you wanted to live.
Friends of mine, a couple, were all excited about moving to a new city. Their work was now all remote, so ... Views: 283
Last week, I had a rather nasty disagreement with a colleague. Even though it got resolved – well, sort of – I found myself going over and over it in my mind. For days. Not a productive path to mental well-being, no way, no how.
I realized, somewhere amid my internal grousing, that I was ... Views: 323
Apart from writing, my dogs, and life generally, my great passion is Ballroom dancing. A totally off-the-wall pursuit, no doubt, but one that truly lights me up. In addition to my primary instructor and competition partner, I have the privilege of a second instructor, a lovely and talented ... Views: 334
We rarely enjoy change, even when we want that change. We will usually find any excuse we can to avoid the necessary steps to whatever that change may be.
For example, given that it is light so much earlier in the day, I’ve been attempting to get up earlier lately. Sigh. For me, getting up ... Views: 351
Some days it feels like life is one endless hamster wheel, where you go round and round and round in the same way day after day. You know the drill: chores-work-kids-chores-bed, rinse and repeat. Oh, sure, there’s the occasional crisis to change things up, maybe the occasional vacation or happy ... Views: 345
We are a quick-fix species, we humans. We want ‘it’ – whatever ‘it’ is – NOW! The money, the lover, the job, the car, the child to behave, the partner to behave (oops!), the boss to quit micro-managing: the list goes on and on.
So too with self-care. Few of us think of what self-care really ... Views: 356
The Holidays are long over, New Year’s came and went, Super Bowl happened, Valentine’s Day is but a dim recollection, so what’s next? Ah yes, tax season . . .
Let’s not all rejoice at the same time. Well, not me, anyway. As a self-employed, I now need to plow through all my receipts, sort ... Views: 355
I learned an amazing new technique from my massage therapist Tammy recently. No, not yet another way of ironing out my body ‘kinks,’ although she is pure genius when it comes to that. On the contrary, this had nothing to do with massage, and everything to do with life.
Ready? Here goes. ... Views: 433
The great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. The not-so-great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. Which we often abandon within a month or so. We then feel guilty or bad about ourselves for not being able to stick with whatever it was.
But what if you ... Views: 425
It seems the topic uppermost in so many of our minds at this time of year is stress. AKA Holiday stress. Too many gifts to buy, too little money. Too many cards to send out/email, gifts to wrap, people to visit – too little time. Too many relatives and others to be considerate of –
too little ... Views: 407
Nobody likes to be told they are wrong. We all believe, in our hearts of hearts, that we are right, no matter how logically misguided we may be. So why do we so often voice an objection to something our partner, friend or co-worker says with an immediate: “You’re wrong!” Often followed up by, ... Views: 484
As I stood in line waiting for a table last week, a couple of people were leaving the restaurant. One of them was complaining about the food, the few waiters, and how long it took to get their order. Meanwhile, the other person was saying: “Gosh, I don’t know. I liked the variety of the menu and ... Views: 481
I was having a pity party the day before a Ballroom Dance Competition. It was hot, I was tired, my legs were sore, we hadn’t rehearsed enough, I’d never remember all my steps, and on and on. I was being such a grump even my dogs were avoiding me. Fine. I can take a hint.
I settled on the ... Views: 468
Amid the pandemic, when we were for the most part quarantined, urged to remain indoors as much as possible, I had an overwhelming urge to get out into nature. Living as I do in Southern California, I figured I could go find a beach and stare at the ocean for a bit without breaking any quarantine ... Views: 419
A dear friend was lamenting the state of the world these days, and indeed, the wars, shootings, political and legal wrangles are disturbing to those who want peace and prosperity for all. In addition to the natural disasters which seem constant: fires, floods, hurricanes and tornadoes.
And ... Views: 682
So often, it seems like the world presses against us, day in and day out. Work duties, family obligations, endless chores, finances, on and on. Who has time for anything as frivolous as deliberately “finding happiness”? Much less “living your joy.” Like, when? How? And why would it even matter ... Views: 508
The ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound is hardly useful these days, given the wonders of CGI. And yes, invisibility might still be useful, but what if you forgot how to be visible again? Far better is to look inward for your superpower, not outward. To your truth, to what serves ... Views: 562
My morning was supposed to be devoted to writing a report for one of the trial attorneys I consult for. The work takes concentration and focus, as my conclusions influence how the case is developed. It’s important, it matters, I need to do it well. But “life” was having none of it . . .
The ... Views: 536
To say it’s been a strange year is an understatement. Even stranger than last year, because most of us expected that 2021 would see an end to the global pandemic and political unrest. Not! So here we are, still in the world-wide chaos of COVID and politics, wondering what new disaster will ... Views: 466
I came across a quote recently by Alan Cohen I think is pure genius: “When you reframe problems as projects, they will cease to bother you and begin to stimulate you.”
Pure genius for me, anyway, as it put my recent experience with a badly strained hamstring in perfect perspective. There I ... Views: 479
We may not be out of the pandemic quite yet, but many of us are carving out a “new normal” for ourselves. Because let’s face it, life is not going back to what it was a mere two years ago. This actually is a good thing, because we have the opportunity to make new decisions, new choices for how ... Views: 519
Lunch at a restaurant! With a friend, live and in person! A restaurant with indoor seating, no masks required for the vaccinated. OMG, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. After the long year of home-cooking (not much variety there), take-out (fun from time to time, not all the time), and ... Views: 612
It’s easy to wonder about the future of our nation, or even the world, when we observe younger people engaged with their devices 24/7, seemingly uninterested in anything but the latest “trending” or selfie. How will future generations thrive given what seems to many as their selfish attitude of ... Views: 521
In a recent interview, actress Candice Bergen spoke about how her beauty, and the way others react to it, challenged her self-development, as no one seemed to care much about what she thought or her opinions. They were too bedazzled by her face.
I can relate. Candice was one year ahead of me ... Views: 702
Just when you thought things were going to get better, the pandemic surged, causing yet again a slew of restrictions right in time for the Holidays. No, really?! It feels like 2020 can’t find its joy, not even a tiny sparkle of happiness, nothing to light up the Holidays. No family ... Views: 657
A friend of mine broke her upper arm recently. Considering she’s a massage therapist who’s been out of work on and off all year due to COVID, plus having a hastily re-organized virtual wedding as opposed to the long planned-for wedding of her dreams, along with the death of her beloved ... Views: 796
My best friend and I had a vigorous discussion recently about the relative merits of process versus results. She was extolling the virtues of process and processing, and I was nattering on about “results, results, results.” Yet the obvious conclusion at the end of our conversation, was that both ... Views: 675
We all know that just as there are words which uplift and enthrall us, there are words which can hurt and demean us. But did you know that there is one four-letter word that actually kills?!
No, it’s not that four-letter word, it’s the word “can’t.” The word “can’t” kills dreams, hopes, ... Views: 779
“To open or not to open, that is the question.” Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave at my lamentable misuse of his famous “To be or not to be” but these days “To open or not to open” IS the question. And it is driving most of us absolutely crazy.
It was one thing to engage our ... Views: 688
“To open or not to open, that is the question.” Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave at my lamentable misuse of his famous “To be or not to be” but these days “To open or not to open” IS the question. And it is driving most of us absolutely crazy.
It was one thing to engage our ... Views: 706
Given my work as a trial consultant, I typically spend a lot of time on airplanes and consequently, in airports (at least until the COVID-19 outbreak). I was in an airport somewhere in the Midwest when I saw a fellow traveler wearing a t-shirt with words that I found positively brilliant: “I’m ... Views: 843
If there’s one thing I noticed about our sheltering-in-place time, it’s that complaining did absolutely nothing about it. Zip. Nada. Complaining about the lack of work didn’t magically produce more work, ditto lack of income. Complaining about the ordeal – pardon me, challenge – of ... Views: 832
Our world is riddled with fear and anxiety. Finances. Aargh! How will we pay the rent/mortgage or have money to pay for food when we're out of work? We're lonely and miss the times when we could be with our friends and family. If we have kids, we agonize over what kind of impact the lockdown is ... Views: 755
My front window gives onto the street, and every day I see people walking their dogs. Maybe a half dozen folk in all, giving their pups some exercise. But over the last week, since California went on “lock-down,” I’m utterly amazed by the number of people walking. With dogs, without dogs, with ... Views: 1029
Something Oprah Winfrey said in an interview I stumbled across recently really hit home with me: “What is the next right move?” She was talking about how to handle disappointments, even failures, and the point she was making is how useless it is for us to dwell on whatever-it-was, but rather to ... Views: 924
How about if this Valentine’s Day you upped your game? What if, instead of--or in addition to-- focusing the intensity of your love on that one special person in your life, you turned the spotlight of your love onto your life! Your whole life, all of it, every aspect of it. If rather than ... Views: 807
My resolution for the New Year is actually very simple: The 20 Minute Rule. It means I no longer allow myself to worry over anything for more than 20 minutes. Anything. Not the state of my health, finances, relationships, the world – anything.
Why should this rank as a valid resolution? Well, ... Views: 779
The holidays can sometimes feel like one long list of obligations. You have to figure out which gifts to get for whom and how much you can afford to spend. You have to write holiday cards/notes/emails at least to some people, once again figuring out what to whom.
You have to figure out which ... Views: 830