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Codependency Articles
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- Could Your Partner be a Controller or Verbal Abuser? - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2010 from Kari JoysIt’s challenging sometimes to know what’s wrong in your relationship. If you’re like many other people, you probably want a loving relationship more than anything else in the world. Maybe you’ve tried and tried and tried to make your relationship work and yet somehow you just seem to be going ...
Views: 2587(1 vote) - Countering Abandonment and Separation Anxiety - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2012 from Sam VakninClinging and smothering behaviours are the unsavoury consequences of a deep-set existential, almost mortal fear of abandonment and separation. For the codependent to maintain a long-term, healthy relationship, she must first confront her anxieties head on. This can be done via psychotherapy: the ...
Views: 3311(1 vote) - Dating a Narcissist - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2020 from Darlene LancerYou won’t realize you’re dating a narcissist. Narcissists are exceedingly skilled at making you like them. They can be alluring, charming, and exciting to date. In fact, in one study, it took seven meetings for people to see through their likable veneer. In a dating situation, a narcissist has a ...
Views: 938(2 votes) - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2017 from Darlene LancerOur mother is our first love. She’s our introduction to life and to ourselves. She’s our lifeline to security. We initially learn about ourselves and our world through interactions with her. We naturally long for her physical and emotional sustenance, her touch, her smile, and her protection. ...
Views: 2280(2 votes) - Difference between a Strong Ego, Weak Ego, and Big Ego - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2024 from Darlene LancerThe term "ego" has a bad rep, but in fact, having a strong ego indicates mental health in contrast to a weak or big ego. In Freud's structural model of the psyche, "I" was translated to the Latin, "ego." Unlike the primitive "id" seen in infants, the ego develops in stages and represents the ...
Views: 310(1 vote) - Difference between a Strong Ego, Weak Ego, and Big Ego - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2024 from Darlene LancerThe term "ego" has a bad rep, but in fact, having a strong ego indicates mental health in contrast to a weak or big ego. In Freud's structural model of the psyche, "I" was translated to the Latin, "ego." Unlike the primitive "id" seen in infants, the ego develops in stages and represents the ...
Views: 313(2 votes) - Dilemmas of Codependent Men - by Submitted on May 26, 2012 from Darlene LancerThe dilemmas of codependent men aren’t talked about. Unlike women, men don’t discuss their relationship problems with friends and family. Instead, they internalize their pain. Many are in denial, suffer in silence, or become numb to their needs and feelings. They shun attention and try to do the ...
Views: 3376(2 votes) - Do you know the 3 causes of all relationship problems? - by Submitted on Feb 02, 2012 from Dr. Erica GoodstoneWhat do YOU believe are the 3 causes of all relationship problems? * Inadequate Money? * Not enough or too much Sex? * Friends interfering? * Family triangles and intrusions? * Poor communication? * Emotional Imbalance? Relationships are more complex than many of us care to ...
Views: 2674(2 votes) - Do You Need Others' Approval? - by Submitted on May 23, 2007 from Margaret Paul"At work, every time I have to speak at meetings, I get so stressed." "I’m taking a class and I'm always afraid to raise my hand and ask a question." "I'm fine one to one, but as soon as I get into a group, I'm so tense I can hardly stand it." "I'm totally relaxed with my women friends, but ...
Views: 4268(1 vote) - Domestic Violence: What It Is--Part One, in a Series of Six - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2011 from Gayle Joplin Hall“When I used to hear stories about men beating up their wives, I figured the wives were cheating around. I never, ever, heard my father raise his voice to my mother, so this was foreign to me. What goes on behind closed doors is someone’s own business, right?” – Dr. Gayle J. Hall, (my thoughts ...
Views: 1774(1 vote) - DRAMA - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends and it will get you the right ones.” We all have been there! Maybe you had a friend or you know someone now who is in a big DRAMA! The situation keeps getting worse and you can’t believe the stories… affairs, lying, addictions, bills not paid, ...
Views: 1540(1 vote) - Dysthymia (Chronic Depression) and Codependency - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2015 from Darlene LancerDysthymia or chronic depression is a common symptom of codependency; however, many codependents aren’t aware that they’re depressed. Because the symptoms are mild, most people with chronic depression wait ten years before seeking treatment.Dysthymia doesn’t usually impair daily functioning, but ...
Views: 2054(1 vote) - E Is For Elephant - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Sara DillingerDon’t think about that elephant in the room. Whatever you do, do not think about the elephant. Just ignore it. Maybe it will go away. Of course, when you are told NOT to think about something, that is about the only thing you can think of. Even though there is no actually elephant in ...
Views: 1833(1 vote) - Emotional Release Techniques For A Happy Life - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2014 from Dominica ApplegateAs human beings we all need to let go sometimes in order to experience a happy life. Keeping emotions locked up within ourselves is not healthy for us or for those close to us. This is why emotional release is a necessary thing. The problem is that many people have no idea how to perform this ...
Views: 2080(1 vote) - Enabling - When Helping is Actually Hurting - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2011 from Lisa EspichIt is difficult to be in a relationship with an addict and not get sucked into enabling behavior. When somebody you love is suffering with an illness or a disease you naturally want to help. As a result, loved ones often step in to save the addict from the devastating consequences of their ...
Views: 1804(1 vote) - Finding True Love Through Intimacy - by Submitted on May 30, 2006 from Daniel LinderA lot of people have been asking about true love; is there such a thing; if so, what is it? Is it attainable; if so, how attainable is it? If it were just love, I wouldn’t have so much difficulty. But, true love? Talking about true love is risky business. I can imagine taking a poll, going ...
Views: 2366(1 vote) - Four Key Steps for Setting Healthy Boundaries - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2012 from Lisa EspichThroughout the first sixteen years of my marriage my husband, Dean, struggled with his addiction to alcohol, prescription pain pills, and crack cocaine. As his addiction continued to get worse, my ability to set healthy boundaries failed. This didn’t happen overnight -- it was a gradual process ...
Views: 3397(1 vote) - Getting Triggered and What You Can Do - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2017 from Darlene LancerGetting your "buttons" pushed or getting "triggered" is an opportunity to heal and grow. The more hurts we've endured and the weaker our boundaries, the more reactive we are to people and events. Our triggers - our buttons - are our wounds. Codependents are off the charts when it comes to ...
Views: 1834(2 votes) - Growth and Healing in Recovery - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2025 from Darlene LancerHealing is not linear or categorizable but is an obscure odyssey of the soul that meanders, stagnates, and has ups and downs. It warps time, intertwining our past and present, perspectives, relationships, and emotional struggles. For me, writing has been a gratifying and powerful healing tool ...
Views: 74(1 vote) - Guest Author Interview – Dr. Anne Brown - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2019 from Dr. Anne BrownTitle: Backbone Power: The Science of Saying No Genre: Co-dependency/Stress Management Synopsis: A No Nonsense approach to Making Decisions. A Self Help Guide to having Backbone and Integrity in all your choices, short term and long term. Is this decision going to be good for Me? To ...
Views: 1199(1 vote) - Have You Ever Asked, “Why Don’t Others Ever Appreciate What I Do For Them?” - by Submitted on May 29, 2011 from Randi FineMany of us do not understand the importance of having emotional “boundaries” in our interpersonal relationships. Many of us do not even understand what the term “boundaries” means in that context. And many of us do not even know whether the emotional boundaries in our life are healthy or not. ...
Views: 1947(1 vote) - Healing In Relationships - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2024 from Darlene LancerEven before we enter the world, our brains and hormones are wired for connection. Our first relationship begins in our mother’s womb, where we recognize her voice and respond to her moods through hormones and stress responses. Later, her smell and touch become familiar. Affection and responsive ...
Views: 127(1 vote) - Healing Love Addiction: Letting Go Of The Past - by Submitted on May 09, 2013 from Jim Hall“It is not where we were that counts, but where we are going” When we first find recovery, some of us feel shame and despair at calling ourselves “addicts”. In the beginning, we may be filled with both fear and hope as we struggle to heal and find new meaning in our lives. The past may ...
Views: 3903(1 vote) - Healing Trauma and Your Inner Child - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2023 from Darlene LancerWe all have an “inner child,” which is an unconscious archetype coined by Carl Jung. It holds our vulnerability, spontaneity, creativity, curiosity, and magical ideas. It also holds fears, anxiety, shame, loneliness, and insecurity experienced growing up and is a vital part in healing ...
Views: 399(2 votes) - Hidden Truth About Codependent Relationships - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2024 from Darlene LancerThere’s a saying, “The ending is in the beginning.” Codependent relationship problems start with their low self-esteem, lack of boundaries, and their idealization of love — that it will solve their deeper problems, including shame, which generates beliefs such as: “If I’m loved, I’m lovable,” ...
Views: 170(1 vote) - Holidays, Families, & “have to” - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2013 from Robert BurneyWhen we look outside for self-definition and self-worth, we are giving power away and setting ourselves up to be victims. We are trained to be victims. We are taught to give our power away. As just one small example of how pervasively we are trained to be victims, consider how often you ...
Views: 1412(1 vote) - How Do You Forgive an Addict - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2013 from Lisa EspichAs an author and speaker on co-addiction, and as a wife of a recovering drug-addict, one of the most common questions I get is how do you forgive? It is understandable that after all of the lies, betrayal, and pain that come with addiction that loved ones would have a difficult time forgiving. ...
Views: 2481(1 vote) - How Do You Forgive an Addict - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2013 from Lisa EspichAs an author and speaker on co-addiction, and as a wife of a recovering drug-addict, one of the most common questions I get is how do you forgive? It is understandable that after all of the lies, betrayal, and pain that come with addiction that loved ones would have a difficult time forgiving. ...
Views: 2956(1 vote) - How Saying NO, Having a Backbone, and Being Your Authentic Self Can Help You Become Successful? - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2018 from Dr. Anne BrownIs this decision going to be good for Me? To help Me be successful? How do I make the right choices? What are the effects and the outcomes. Ask yourself, Who am I really making these choices for? Backbone Power was written to help everyone from mothers, to college grads, to people that have ...
Views: 1922(1 vote) - HOW SHAME FEELS AND WHAT MAKES IT TOXIC - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2019 from Darlene LancerSprawled on the hallway floor, skirt flying, hitting and kicking, I wrestled with Tina before a crowd of junior high school schoolmates, including a dozen boys from my class. Tina was a gang member who had recently transferred from another school. She and her cohorts had taunted and insulted me ...
Views: 1239(2 votes) - How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Nancy CarboneThose with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as ...
Views: 1822(1 vote) - How to Detach and Let Go with Love - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Darlene LancerAlthough it’s painful to see our loved ones be self-destructive, detaching allows us to enjoy our life despite another person’s problems and behavior. Attachment and caring are normal. It’s healthy to get attached to people we love and care about, but codependent attachment causes us pain and ...
Views: 1023(2 votes) - How to Identify and Combat Gaslighting - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2024 from Darlene LancerIdentifying gaslighting behavior and knowing how to combat gaslighting are essential to maintaining your self-esteem, and mental and emotional health.Gaslighting is a form of narcissistic abuse that's used not only by narcissists, but also by sociopaths, addicts, and other abusers. Sometimes ...
Views: 286(1 vote) - HOW TO IDENTIFY AND DEAL WITH TOXIC PARENTS - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2018 from Darlene LancerToxic relationships include relationships with toxic parents. Typically, they do not treat their children with respect as individuals. They won’t compromise, take responsibility for their behavior, or apologize. Often these parents have a mental disorder or have a serious addiction. We all live ...
Views: 1652(2 votes) - How to Leave a Narcissist or Abuser - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2019 from Darlene LancerWhen we fall in love, it’s natural to become attached and form a romantic bond. But once in love with a narcissist, it’s not easy to leave, despite the abuse. Although you're unhappy, you may be ambivalent about leaving because you still love your partner, have young children, lack resources, ...
Views: 1188(2 votes) - How To Overcome Codependency In 3 Simple Steps - by Submitted on May 28, 2012 from Fariborz ArbasiWhat Is Codependency Codependency is a learned behavior that refers to an obsessive need for affection, attention and affirmation. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because; this relationship based on emotional dependency is the other side of the coin of emotionally destructive and ...
Views: 31025(1 vote) - How to Raise Your Self-Esteem - What Is Codependency? - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2016 from Darlene LancerSelf-esteem is key to success in work, and enjoyment of life and relationships. It affects our thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and how we handle life's challenges. Low self-esteem underlies addiction, anxiety, depression, abuse, intimacy problems, and codependency. Our self-esteem is usually ...
Views: 2068(2 votes) - How To Set Boundaries | Backbone Power - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2019 from Dr. Anne BrownHow To Set Healthy Boundaries and Live Life with Authenticity | Get Backbone Power Audiobook by Dr. Anne Brown -a psychotherapist, speaker, author, coach. https://backbonepower.com/backbonepower-audiobook/ A No-Nonsense Approach to Making Decisions. A Self Help Guide to having Backbone and ...
Views: 1138(1 vote) - Improving Your Marriage May Begin With You - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2012 from Jay Tow, M. S. Counselor, Life Management and Relationship CoachMy approach to working with couples has always started with the following: Two people coming into a relationship with their own set of issues. They act out on these issues within the relationship. In order to deal with the issues that may be having a negative effect on the ...
Views: 2256(2 votes) - Inner Child Healing - How to begin - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2011 from Robert Burney"Recovery involves bringing to consciousness those beliefs and attitudes in our subconscious that are causing our dysfunctional reactions so that we can reprogram our ego defenses to allow us to live a healthy, fulfilling life instead of just surviving. So that we can own our power to make ...
Views: 3296(1 vote) - Is My Relationship Toxic? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2023 from Darlene LancerIt's a question I hear over and over from people ... "Is my relationship toxic?" Healthy relationships nourish and support us. Like poison, a toxic relationship is one that is damaging to us. Instead of uplifting us, it makes us feel worse. When it ends, we might experience trauma, ...
Views: 425(1 vote) - Is Your Guilt True or False? - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2015 from Darlene LancerWe all experience guilt from time to time. But many of us have a hard time letting go of it and find it difficult to forgive ourselves, even though we may readily forgive others. First of all, it's important to recognize whether our guilt is true or false. Just because we feel guilty, that ...
Views: 1617(1 vote) - Is Your Partner Passive-aggressive? - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2017 from Darlene LancerPassive-aggressive people act passive, but are covertly aggressive. They’re basically obstructionist, and try to block whatever it is you want. Their unconscious anger gets transferred onto you, and you become frustrated and furious. Your fury is theirs, while they may calmly ask, “Why are you ...
Views: 1693(3 votes) - Is Your Relationship Toxic? - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2017 from Darlene LancerHealthy relationships nourish and support us. Like poison, a toxic relationship is one that is damaging to us. Instead of uplifting us, it makes us feel worse. When it ends, we might experience post-traumatic stress or a lessening of our self-esteem and trust in ourselves and others. Although ...
Views: 1744(2 votes) - It's time to have Inner Peace! Learning to say NO - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2011 from Marion LicchielloLearning to say NO! Being Authentic to Yourself Are you the type of person who always says yes? I’ve come to learn that it is very important to learn to say NO! It’s okay. People are still going to like you. They may even respect you more because they know you are being authentic. I’m not ...
Views: 2097(1 vote) - Learning to Take Responsibility - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2011 from Caroline NettleOften when we begin on the path of personal development or spiritual growth, we start to look at the behaviours that we have been practising to this point. We begin to see that our behaviours have caused us issues in our relationships with friends and family, and we gradually learn that we ...
Views: 1762(1 vote) - Let the Dating Begin! 10 Common Sense Rules for Healthy Dating - by Submitted on May 26, 2013 from Telka Arend-RitterLet the dating begin! 10 Common Sense Rules for Healthy Dating Determine COMPATIBILITY before making a sexual or long-term COMMITMENT. *Dating is defined as the information gathering stage of an adult relationship designed to determine the overall compatibility of a potential life ...
Views: 4345(1 vote) - Love Addicts: 7 Steps To Feel Good About Yourself - by Submitted on May 09, 2013 from Jim Hall1.Don't make other peoples thoughts, feelings, or actions about YOU. In other words, with healthy emotional boundaries, don't take responsibility (or blame yourself) for what another person may do, say or think? You are not responsible (i.e., your partner or ex partner). As an adult, you are ...
Views: 1884(2 votes) - Love and Relationship Addiction: How do you know if you are a Love Addict? - by Submitted on May 09, 2013 from Jim HallLove Addicts create unhealthy and painful attachments to romance, people, sex, and the euphoria of love relationships. Love Addicts commonly search outside of themselves to feel alive and fill their unmet emotional needs. Love Addicts unconsciously look for others to “fix”-“rescue” them from the ...
Views: 5206(1 vote) - Marriage after Sobriety - by Submitted on May 16, 2017 from Darlene LancerWhen long-awaited sobriety finally arrives, partners expect their past relationship problems will disappear. Often, there is a “honeymoon” period when they’re on their best behavior and reaffirm their love and commitment. After all that they’ve been through together, they have high hopes for a ...
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