“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends and it will get you the right ones.”

We all have been there! Maybe you had a friend or you know someone now who is in a big DRAMA! The situation keeps getting worse and you can’t believe the stories… affairs, lying, addictions, bills not paid, bullying and on and on. I am not referring to illness, accidents, natural disasters; I am referring to things that can happen to us when we don’t have a Backbone.

When we keep trying to be nice or make people like us at the expense of our own dignity, we will attract the takers. I believe takers are in your life for one spiritual reason: to get you to take a stand for yourself. I believe when we all, and most of us have been there, are in an abusive situation, it is the universe’s way to have us reach our bottom and realize that making people like us is NOT what we are suppose to be doing. Once you learn this lesson your network should be comprised of like-minded people.

Waking up every day driven by wanting people to like you, opens the door for people to take advantage of you. You just don’t have a barometer for when enough is enough. If I know I am fine just the way I am, then I am free to assess what is right for me, what I need to say No to, what I need to ask for, and I believe what I say is important.

If you know I have the Backbone to say No to you cheating in our relationship, you are going to think twice about going outside our relationship. If you know I will move on if you are lying to me, youat least, won’t be surprised if you lie and I move on. If sobriety was a condition of our getting together, that factor is going to be a strong component of your recovery and our staying together. If you become irresponsible with money and you know I won’t believe your crazy rationalizations, you will know it is your mess to clean up. If you know I know bullying is a sign of your weakness not mine, you won’t try that stuff on me.
Do your friends/partner know you have a Backbone?

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. “ Mahatma Gandhi

© Anne Brown 2014 Permission needed for reproduction in any form.

Author's Bio: 

Anne Brown PhD RNMS
Sausalito, California 94965
e: annebrown@sopris.net

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