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There is often a predictable arc to relationship anxiety that includes three stages.*
The first stage is characterized by typical symptoms of anxiety and panic:
Can’t sleep
Can’t eat
Tearful
Depressed
Bolting awake in the middle of the night
Difficulty functioning at work
Fluttering ... Views: 723
One of the blessings of having a second child is that we, as parents, gain some skills by walking with the first one through predictable stages of growth, maturity, illness, and emotional challenges. When our firstborn had a high fever, we panicked. When the younger one has a fever, it’s old ... Views: 712
When you’re neck-deep and soul-soaked in anxiety, when you’re having trouble eating, sleeping, and basically functioning, when the love you formally felt for your partner has been eclipsed by indifference, doubt, or numbness, when intrusive thoughts invade your brain day and night, you will ... Views: 945
Without our jobs we can hardly make a living, it is important to work, but in some situations, changes have to be made to adjust and save your mental health. Working keeps you active, you can sustain a better social life by interacting with others out there, and if you love your job, then you ... Views: 653
No matter what you do to try and keep your life relaxing and fun, some situations are going to arise that cause you stress. There's nothing that you can do to prevent those kinds of things from happening. What you can do, however, is have control over how you react to such occurrences.
Some ... Views: 1287
Many people suffer from migraines and they are quite troublesome. It is important to talk to a doctor to help you find the triggers causing these migraines. Still, you need a solution right now, and the following five therapeutic ideas should help you reduce the pain.
Try Aromatherapy
One main ... Views: 839
Anxiety is debilitating. It can be mild, more of a nervousness, or it can make life very difficult indeed. So what are its triggers and what can you do about them?
Is anxiety something that is there all the time, or is it especially active when others are there? I asked the question of if you ... Views: 1494
Did you know that when there is stress it is usually carried in our bodies somewhere? Not only that but it can create health issues and sometimes these issues can play a role in how we function daily in our lives. These issues can wreak havoc in our minds and our bodies if we let it or we can ... Views: 1433
Are these the most annoying words ever spoken?
What do these people think? Do they think you’re really trying your best to worry about it? No, in fact you’re almost certainly trying your hardest NOT to worry … but it’s constantly on your mind.
But the truth is that the more you try NOT to ... Views: 1227
People’s brains vary. Research has shown that some people are born with a neurological make up that can make them more emotionally or intellectually intense, sensitive, and more open to external stimuli than the general population.
They are more aware of subtleties; their brain processes ... Views: 1691
Teens are more depressed now than ever before. Given the stresses of their lives (constant monitoring via technology, tuition hikes, cost of living making it harder to prepare for the future, school stress) that isn’t a big surprise. But it is still a tragedy and as parents, it can be hard to ... Views: 1653
Whenever I have looked through a paper or a news website over the years, I have often come across news stories that go into how so many people are suffering mentally and emotionally. What often comes up is that these people’s lives are being derailed by anxiety, depression and/or suicidal ... Views: 1140
It’s absolutely true that success doesn't ensure freedom from physical and mental problems. No matter how successful you are in your professional life, you can’t ever say that you will never struggle with conditions like anxiety, stress, depression, eating disorders, gambling addiction, ... Views: 1105
The dangers to human life have changed considerably over the centuries of their existence. People first sought protection from wild-life and fought to put food on the table. Then came the plagues and other medical dangers threatening their lives. During that time, what remained common was the ... Views: 1760
Children and adults alike experience feelings of nervousness, fear, or worry from time to time; these feelings are part of a normal response to a stressful situation, but when they occur to such an extent that they interfere with normal life, children anxiety disorder could be the underlying ... Views: 1002
Increasingly, I find myself talking to people who, until the pull themselves together, live in fear of the future. We might casually call it "worry" - we might even label it stress. But all it is is unchecked useless thought.
"All it is" is slightly misleading - because this fear keeps people ... Views: 1865
I've often quoted the World Health Organization's contention that stress will kill more people in the developed world in the 21st century than anything else. And, as far as I can see, they've got it spot on - it appears, from surveys, research and my own work, that the modern workplace is not a ... Views: 1555
The fear response is triggered when facing danger. The ‘danger’ could be not measuring up to a desirable or imposed standard, not getting done what you set out to do, not fulfilling your own or other people’s expectations, being seen as less than perfect or failing at something. There is also ... Views: 1250
These so-called ‘entertainment’ programmes have a lot to answer for! I have to say that they fail to make me laugh but judging by their popularity obviously some people find them amusing. I tuned in to some such show last year just to see what it was all about but I could only bear it for ten ... Views: 1680
My favorite fairy tale when I was a child was Rumpelstiltskin, the story of a girl who makes a bargain with an imp-like creature in exchange for saving her life from being executed by the king. First she gives the imp a necklace, then a ring, then promises her firstborn child. But when her child ... Views: 1295
The next time you find yourself lying in bed, tossing and turning, unable to shut off your your mind so you can fall asleep, give this simple trick a try:
Relax your tongue.
It’s not something we give a whole lot of thought to — our tongue. But, when you stop to consider its importance in ... Views: 1648
It seems that worry has become a normal state of affairs for many, if not most, people. One only needs to turn on the television to witness conflict, aggression, lack of civil discourse, violence, death, and destruction. Repeated exposure leaves some people feeling numb and desensitized, while ... Views: 1664
When you lead a hectic life with most of your days spent working or running errands, it can be difficult to slow your mind down at the end of the day and get some relaxation. All that stress isn’t good for you, though, which is why it’s so important to find ways to calm yourself. Here are three ... Views: 1740
Every human who has ever lived has experienced pain in some form or fashion. However, in most cases, pain comes and goes. You twist an ankle and it’s sore for a few days, but then it gets better. You have a headache for a couple of hours and then it goes away. You give birth to a ... Views: 2085
In the world of psychology, bingeing definitely has a negative connotation. Binge eaters and binge drinkers are bingeing to escape emotional pain. They are usually trying to fill an emotional void by literally stuffing themselves with food or alcohol or drugs. Bingers use the compulsive ... Views: 1217
According to research gathered by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 43.8 million American adults experience mental illness in a given year. That means approximately one in five adults is exposed to some type of mental illness annually. Nearly 10 million adults experience a ... Views: 2529
Last week, I had the blessed opportunity of having a closure session in person with a beautiful woman with whom I’ve worked for almost six years. As we sat face-t0-face (as opposed to screen-to-screen) and the session’s minutes clicked toward the end of our hour together, I told her that I ... Views: 1043
On a daily basis, my assistant and I receive the following email: “Can you recommend a therapist in my area who is familiar with your work?”
Sadly, I don’t have a database of like-minded therapists, and, even more sadly, I know that many therapists fall into the “doubt means don’t” mindset ... Views: 1099
We hear a lot about the power of fear these days, and the way we culturally/psychologically talk about it speaks to our beliefs that there are forces “out there” that are dark or evil that we need to overpower. In the early days of my work, I also spoke of fear in these terms, but over the years ... Views: 1158
A subset topic of the million-dollar question – is my anxiety/doubt evidence that my truth is that I’m with the wrong partner or does it mean something else? – is the issue of intuition versus anxiety. In other words, embedded inside every question of the mind suffering from relationship ... Views: 3652
I’m a licensed therapist, and I have a problem with the way our society treats teenagers.
I’ve worked with teenagers who can juggle more in 24 hours than functioning adults can juggle in 24 days. We’re talking rigorous advanced placement course loads, varsity sports, community service, music ... Views: 1610
We often see people break down in depression, or incapable of thinking properly in times of great need or problems. These are people who let stress rule their lives, and its never a pretty sight to begin with. The only way for you to be free from stress is to make sure that you don't let it rule ... Views: 1373
It seems to come around sooner and sooner each year!
I’ve already seen several teenagers this month who are taking their mocks, some who are doing re-sits and some who are taking entrance exams. Most of them have a lot in common … they are extremely anxious generally, they are worried they‘ll ... Views: 1699
On the heels of my post on connection, which was both comforting and spike-inducing for some of my readers and course members, I’m elaborating on the topic of connection, specifically this one line:
Of course, when anxiety is at the helm, it’s difficult to feel attached or secure anywhere and ... Views: 921
I’m standing on the edge of my life, as if on the shores of a cold but beautiful lake. I want to dive in but I’m scared, only the fear doesn’t sound like fear as much as doubt, anxiety, uncertainty, and ambivalence. What if I make a mistake? What if the water is too cold and I can’t breathe? ... Views: 1064
We live in uncertain times, and that statement alone can send an anxious-sensitive personality type into a tailspin. But the truth is that we’ve always lived in uncertain times. Because death exists, our lives hang in the balance on this precious and precarious planet. The threats change faces – ... Views: 1037
When working with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, the essential component is to resist the gravitational and habitual pull to attach onto the stories that appear like planets in our inner galaxy and assume that they’re true. The story of the day – whether it centers around your relationship, ... Views: 1417
Life is a series of micro-moments. Most of the time, we’re floating along in the fast-paced current without self-reflection. But inevitably, at some point, we will get snagged on a branch of anxiety or intrusive thoughts, an uncomfortable feeling, an illness, an argument with a loved one, or a ... Views: 924
With the dynamic nature of the world around us, we have more than one reason to get worried. Money, family, work, and other current issues that continuously change our lives will always keep us worried. Human beings are wired to overcome such challenges and when we fail to do so anxiety and ... Views: 977
For all humans, but especially the highly sensitives, one of the most difficult truths to accept is that all seasons pass, all stages come to an end, all beings die. Just as the gorgeous peach tree in full-tilt pink spring bloom drops its blossoms to reveal summer fruit, then drops its leaves in ... Views: 1313
When I was young, one of my favorite books was a collection of four short stories called “Nobody is Perfick“. I liked the first three stories, but it was the fourth one, called Nobody is Perfick, that captivated my attention. It was the story about a perfect boy named Peter Perfect. He always ... Views: 984
The anxious mind can latch onto almost any topic:
What if I don’t have enough money?
What if my kids aren’t okay?
What if I don’t get pregnant?
What if I have cancer?
What if I don’t love my partner enough and I’m making a terrible mistake?
What if I don’t have enough friends?
What if ... Views: 955
I met Andrea in my first round of Open Your Heart in May 2013. Every time she posted on the forum, I was moved and inspired by the depth and clarity of her writing, and her ability to transpose her inner world into words. When she shared this story with me over email, I immediately asked if she ... Views: 1242
Oh, the list of thoughts that try to prevent us from taking the risk of loving wholeheartedly is quite long, but there are a few that always top the list, buzzing and darting in and around your ears like mosquitos in summer. I recently wrote about the “I wish he was taller” thought, and I’ve ... Views: 1001
We learn and heal in ebbs and flows, spiraling around the center of ourselves where our true Self dwells. When we’re in a cycle of growth, we burn through layers of ego fears and touch into that core place of wellness where peace and clarity reside. Our hearts are open and alive and we can ... Views: 992
1. Managing and coping with situations
Remember that almost everyone feels anxious at times so the best way to help them is to help them manage and cope with anxiety and not feel they have to eliminate it altogether
So, don’t keep asking them if they are ok or if they can manage or if they ... Views: 1589
We all want to protect our loved one as much as possible. When moving into a new house, the house might not have an integrated security system to protect the family. Also, the fire and smoke detectors may not work. These problems could lead to possibly deadly consequences in the future if not ... Views: 1289
At one end of the spectrum it can be just mildly socially uncomfortable
If your social anxiety is mild, it might not actually stop you from going to a particular function if you realise that it is important and the benefits of going outweigh the disadvantages. Yes, you may feel rather ... Views: 1628
Anxiety can have serious implications for your health, if you do not deal with it effectively. A study carried out in Sweden has revealed that young men who are diagnosed with anxiety disorder in their teens and early 20s have a greater risk of developing a heart disease than young men who are ... Views: 949
What are some of the things you can do to deal with a disappointment? How can you keep yourself together so that the disappointment does not affect you so badly that you will become reckless with your life and take to alcohol or drugs?
In this article, I want to show you how to deal with ... Views: 899