Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
Most people know that it is important to love oneself. By loving & nurturing ourselves, we satisfy the “void” that we often look to others to fill, and which rarely ever works. Whether it is a romantic partnership or friend relationship, the old standard may start off wonderful, but then we ... Views: 2251
“Just get over it!” “Get past it!” These commonly-given and common-sense responses to our breakup experience just don’t help for some of us. There are many reasons why we are not open to moving on after a heart break (usually in this case we are the Break-ee as opposed to the Break-er; ... Views: 4441
Are you and your spouse worried about what’s happening with your savings, your pension, your children’s college funds, or just staying employed? Do you find yourself fearful of your futures together? Do you find yourselves disagreeing with your partner about how to weather this financial ... Views: 1439
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
There is something about the summer that encourages love. Maybe it’s the bright summer sun. It could be the warm summer breeze. Maybe it’s the refreshing summer water! Perhaps, it is the summer vacation. And isn’t the All Star Game played in the ... Views: 3545
One day while taking a visit to the grocery store, I heard a customer in front of me say, “????? (phonetic- yo may yo yo? Pinyin- you mei you you?)” As I waited in line, I watched as the cashier understood this complex logic of using the same words of pronunciation to form a question and also ... Views: 2378
Most of us enjoy a good action movie. Watching the battle between good and evil is always entertaining. In the end one of the co-stars is killed. Sometimes it is the good character and sometimes it is the evil leader.
What we need to be careful of is transferring what we see in movies ... Views: 2232
Talking dirty is an art form; it may seem a little too much for some, while it simply isn’t something that others usually do. However, doing it right can actually fire up the bedroom and perk up a flagging relationship. A person wishing to learn how to talk dirty is always faced with the dilemma ... Views: 2857
Whether you just got out of a relationship, or have been struggling to heal your broken heart for some time now, figuring out how to move on can be confusing, fear-inducing, and downright uncomfortable. Not only do you have to let go of your past, but you’ve got to be willing to embrace the ... Views: 9709
Everyone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That's where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other's lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to ... Views: 12471
Whenever I’m at a dinner party and meet somebody new, the inevitable question comes up: What do you do? When I tell them I’m a heartbreak reinvention coach, it always leads to an interesting conversation. Usually, I get to hear the story of Their Big Breakup, and it’s always gut-wrenching, ... Views: 5770
Can we be friends?
After a breakup, this simple question can weigh heavy on your mind. As a heartbreak reinvention coach, I often hear this question from clients. And my answer is always the same — no. Why? Because as hard as it may be to accept, your relationship is over. This person is ... Views: 2796
I just read your article “Hoping You Will Get Back Together after the Breakup?” I love your theory; I think all the advice you have to give is wonderful. So as someone who has recently gotten her heart crushed, I find the part I struggle with the most is the continuing thinking of the ex and ... Views: 698
Why don’t you ever praise me?
The dictionary defines praise as the act of expressing approval, admiration or commendation. Every one of us desires praise at some level, and in one form or another. Praise is a member of the family of emotional needs: validation, recognition, approval, ... Views: 1037
In this week’s article, I would like to explain the link between your values and your misery or success.
Now let’s talk about clashing values and your success or failure.
Divorce attorneys identify that the top two causes for divorce are money and sex. What the divorce attorneys fail to ... Views: 1069
Love is a state that exists within you and someone else triggers that state so that you fall in love. How does that psychological process work?
“Can you think of someone in your life who instantly brings a smile to your face or a warm feeling inside of you? “
One such person for me was my ... Views: 6601
You barely make it through the door after a particularly “challenging” (oh how you hate that word) day at work, when your spouse thrusts the baby into your arms, aims the three year old in your general direction and cries on his or her way out the door, “Hon, you take them, I gotta go chill.” ... Views: 1602
Lindsay called me for counseling because her boyfriend of 18 months had just ended their relationship. Lindsay, 28, had been sure that Jake was "Mr. Right.""I am so heartbroken," sobbed Lindsay. "I don't know how I’m going to get through this. It feels like my ... Views: 6092
Conventional wisdom says it takes just 21 days to establish a new habit. So what if that new habit involves getting over a breakup? Is it possible to exorcise your ex, clear your head, and heal your heart in just 3 weeks? It is when you enroll in a crash course in breakup survival, immerse ... Views: 3284
After a relationship ends, it's all too easy to second-guess the decision to split up. And while reconsidering doesn't necessarily mean you should reunite, what happens if you and your ex DO decide you'd like to give the relationship another go? Maybe the time away from one another has shown you ... Views: 9763
Everyone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That's where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other's lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to ... Views: 3592
There’s no denying it. Breaking up is oh-so hard to do, especially in today’s 24-hour techno-savvy world of Facebook, Twitter, and post-breakup booty calls arranged via sexting. Before you get down in the dumps about getting dumped (or even if you did the dumping), the following five tips will ... Views: 3408
Any couple who wants to have a strong and loving relationship knows how important communication is. Although we are aware that good communication skills is the major single factor which decides the kind of relationships we build with others, a lot of us are still quite clueless about what it ... Views: 729
I am about to invite you into my life in a way I have never done before. I am unlocking my diary and posting excerpts every few days in succession.
Warning: This post is direct as it came from my actual diary…. it is even often extremely challenging for me to re-read. I share it because my ... Views: 585
Do you talk to your partner? When is the last time you had a conversation about something more significant than what to have for dinner or who needs to pick up the kids after school? In most marriages, the answers are not going to be reassuring. We’ve all heard experts talk about the importance ... Views: 1693
You may have heard the old saying, “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself.” That old saying is true in many ways and is even more relevant when you are trying to save your marriage during a recession. If you can’t value yourself, you won’t be able to value the relationship you ... Views: 828
Discovering an affair is always hurtful—no person is invulnerable to the pain and anguish that it can bring. Often, a person’s initial reaction would be shock, fury and numbness that could go on and on in a vicious cycle. The sad thing is whatever reactions one might have hardly matters at all, ... Views: 970
Your marriage proposal is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do something unique, memorable and amazing. Make your wedding proposal something that you and your friends will be talking about for years to come.
Here are five creative proposal ideas:
#1 – Online proposal website
With so ... Views: 999
"I will not engage; I will not engage; I will not engage. No matter what mean, cruel or hurtful things he says, does or accuses me of, I will not engage."
I can't tell you how many times that verse has gone through my head, since my husband was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II, ... Views: 9633
Question:
Within my circle of friends, all but one of us has a boyfriend. When we go out it's all the couples...and me. I love being with everyone but sometimes I feel so alone within the group. It's as if a spotlight is on me screaming "I'm the only one that doesn't have someone." What's the ... Views: 546
Spring has sprung, and many of us are slowly moving out of hibernation and feeling ready to get outside. This luring translates to relationships as well. With the bad news of the recession pounding, we need to surround ourselves with positive, upbeat people to help us shift gears, focus on the ... Views: 781
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Like us, we are sure many of you have been following the on-going saga surrounding the so-called “reality” show, Jon & Kate Plus Eight. Well, it seems like Jon and Kate are going to go their separate ways – divorce seems eminent. Ah, but ... Views: 3267
A typical and yet interesting reality is that most women enjoy shopping and most men do not. As one interested in human behavior this is a fascinating finding worthy of some curiosity. The explanation of the differences between the two genders regarding shopping might be found in a basic ... Views: 833
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
It appears that the Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, has admitted to having an affair. His extramarital love affair with a woman from Argentina has again driven home the point that trust is at the heart of the most successful marriages, and ... Views: 3333
WHAT IS YOUNG AND IS IT BETTER?
I read the other day that our 60's are really the new 40's. So does that mean that the 40 year olds are the new 20 year olds? Hmm, maybe not. But what I have discovered is you can be 60 years "old" or 60 years "young".
I started my independent study about what ... Views: 707
“I want to quit my job and go back to school.”
“I would like us to work with a relationship coach.”
“I think we need to make some decisions about our child.”
“I want to spend more intimate time with just you.”
It's not always easy to speak what you want or how you see a situation in your ... Views: 1455
As we pause to celebrate our nation's freedom, it's apparent that we as individuals determine its value to us.
We can -- and must, if (SET ITAL) we (END ITAL) are to be free -- declare individual freedom; and we can do it on the same grounds:
(SET ITAL) We hold these truths to be ... Views: 1318
There is a spiritual dimension to sex and sexuality, as indeed there is to every aspect of human life. Understanding the power of this spirituality and intentionally embracing it can only escalate the richness of our sexual experience.
Many single women and men who are celibate, see their ... Views: 2642
There is no doubt about it, break ups are painful for all parties involved. Whether you plan to rip it off like a band-aid or plant the seed and treat it like a process, ending a relationship is no easy task. Often, the challenges facing the person initiating a break up are grossly ... Views: 2332
Women make relationship mistakes too; after reading this article, you'll no longer be able to pretend that it's all your soon-to-be-ex boyfriend's fault.
Let me guess- you had some great times together-just you and him against the world. He soon became your first thought in the morning and ... Views: 6349
If I had known earlier what I have just learned from reading excerpts, in Newsweek, taken from Elizabeth Edwards' recently released book, I would have gone out and put money on the absolute inevitability of her husband's infidelity. I am quite certain that John Edwards had no choice in the ...If ... Views: 3360
EFT is the most effective tool hands down to break ancient patterns of behavior and thinking both in my opinion and in my experience . Nothing works as elegantly in making links to the past so that all a skilled practitioner has to do is be completely present to what the client is feeling to ... Views: 1987
What difference would it make to your life if your relationships, at home and at work, were based on mutual understanding and respect, where you inspire each other to be your best and enjoy the differences between you? The Enneagram is a powerful and still surprisingly little known approach to ... Views: 3825
We can be quick to judge our parents. There are so many things they could have done better. That is, if they had been better trained.
We tend to compare our parents -- at least during some stage in our lives -- with an ideal that virtually no parent measures up to. If we must compare them, ... Views: 1175
Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.
Rollo May
We are wired to connect to each other. Daniel Goleman’s new book, Social Intelligence, has uncovered new research on social neuroscience has identified brain cells, termed mirror neurons, which ... Views: 656
Question:
I have a question about letting go and holding on. I recently ended a relationship with someone who I care dearly about. There is no doubt that my love for this woman is clear to the both of us. During our relationship I learned that this woman has difficulty expressing her love and ... Views: 2070
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to do while at the same time one of the most needed in the world. There are plenty of people sick of anger, either toward others or to themselves. Forgiveness involves letting go and surrender of judgment and condemnation while engaging in a ... Views: 1438
Every human being needs to get around satisfactory human relations, both in the family and other areas. Your emotional well-being will depend largely on the capacity you have to achieve this objective. In 328 BC, Aristotle said humans are social animals. Nowadays, more and more evidence is ... Views: 2358
When you find out your partner had an affair, it can seem as if the world stopped and you are frozen in the feelings of pain and hurt in the aftermath of betrayal.
As the reality settles in, you might be confused and conflicted about whether or not to take back your mate.
You might be ... Views: 2722
Some of you may know her.
That woman who speaks her mind and gets what she wants. All the while soft, vulnerable, and smart. This has nothing to do with having a big mouth, but only big dreams.
What I'm talking about is being honest about your needs and feelings with people, specifically ... Views: 951
In homes all over the World, couples are playing a dangerous game. It’s a game that erodes the marriage and leads to resentment, bitterness, and built-up anger. It’s known as the blame game. Although most married couples have played it at one time, most don’t realize how counter productive it is ... Views: 981