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My wife and kids tease me that the title of this practice is corny - and it is. Still, I like it. If you don't nourish the things that nourish you, they wither away like a plant in dry stony ground.
Looking to the year ahead for you - a year that can begin whenever you want - what's one key ... Views: 197
We're pulled and prodded by financial pressures, commuter traffic, corporate policies, technology, advertising, politics, and the people we work with and live with. As well, internal forces yank the proverbial chains, including emotional reactions, compelling desires, "shoulds," and internalized ... Views: 221
To view all images and activate all links (recommended):
https://joanpancoe.com/2022/03/10/spring-2022s-big-question-whats-next-when-your-old-storyline-is-finito/
"There's been a quantum leap technologically in our age, but unless there's another quantum leap in human relations, unless we ... Views: 227
By "sobriety," I mean healthy self-control, a centered enjoyment of life, and inner freedom from drivenness. We typically apply this sense of balance and self-care to things like food, drugs and alcohol, sexuality, money, and risky behaviors. And if you like, you could bring sobriety to other ... Views: 208
Sometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ... Views: 195
The Truth Will Set You Free2 (John 8: 31-32)
By
Bill Cottringer
“The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.” ~David Foster Wallace, author.
From my research, there seem to be two main opposing sources for interpreting the true literal and the intriguing ... Views: 260
We're all carrying a load, including tasks, challenges, worries, inner criticism, mistreatment from others, physical and emotional pain, loss and illness now or later, and everyday stresses and frustrations.
Take a moment to get a sense of your own load. It's very real, isn't it? Recognizing ... Views: 191
The fifth of my personal Top 5 practices (all tied for first place) is open out, by which I mean relaxing into a growing sense of connection, even oneness, with all things.
"Opening out" can sound kind of airy-fairy or flakey, but I mean it is very down-to-earth ways; check out these JOTs ... Views: 214
I admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me spam emails, or turning a blind eye to global warming. And I wish they'd start doing things like ... Views: 215
As general clusters that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 types of practices (all tied for first place) are:
Be mindful
Love
Take in the good
Go green
Open out
The practice of “go green” helps you get out of the brain’s fight-or-flight, Reactive, “red zone” ... Views: 237
I've hiked a lot and have often had to depend on what was in my pack. Inner strengths are the supplies you've got in your pack as you make your way down the twisting and often hard road of life. They include a positive mood, common sense, integrity, inner peace, determination, and a warm heart. ... Views: 203
“Peace” can sound merely sentimental or clichéd (“visualize whirled peas”). But deep down, it’s what most of us long for. Consider the proverb: The highest happiness is peace.
Not a peace inside that ignores pain in oneself or others or is acquired by shutting down. This is a durable peace, a ... Views: 239
By "war" I mean here a mindset, not combat between nations with tanks and bombs. The "war" I'm referring to is an attitude of conflict and animosity toward a person, object, or condition. Parents can feel at war with a misbehaving teenager, and certainly vice versa. Neighbors quarreling over a ... Views: 201
You may have seen the old Mickey Mouse movie in which he is working at a conveyor belt in a factory. More and more widgets come at him that he must handle, and he gets increasingly frazzled as he struggles to keep up.
Do you ever feel the same way? Think about all the dishes, emails, ... Views: 232
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To view all images and activate all links (recommended):
https://joanpancoe.com/2021/12/28/2022-the-delight-of-living-dangerously-beyond-beyond-beyond-the-beyond/
“I have a large seashell ... Views: 277
Want to try a little experiment?
Stop breathing. Really. For a few seconds, maybe a few dozen seconds, and see how it feels.
For me, this experiment is an intimate way to experience a deep truth, that we live dependently, relying on 10,000 things for physical survival, happiness, love, and ... Views: 215
Research shows that relationships are built from interactions, and interactions are built from moments. A critical moment in an interaction is when one person wants something from the other one. ("Wants" include wishes, needs, desires, hopes, and longings.) The want could be simple and concrete, ... Views: 208
Goodwill and ill will are about intention: the will is for good or ill. These intentions are expressed through action and inaction, word and deed, and-especially-thoughts. How do you feel when you sense another person taking potshots at you in her mind? What does it feel like to take potshots of ... Views: 211
As the most social and loving species on the planet, we have the wonderful ability and inclination to connect with others, be empathic, cooperate, care, and love. On the other hand, we also have the capacity and inclination to be fearfully aggressive toward any individual or group we regard as ... Views: 226
I’m old enough to remember a time when people usually answered “good” when you asked them the standard, “How are you?” (often said “harya?”). These days the answer is commonly “busy.”
I know what it feels like to get very busy and start to feel dispersed: juggling a dozen priorities at any ... Views: 214
I'm doing a series on my personal top five practices (all tied for first place). I have so far named three: meditate (including mindfulness, self-awareness, and, if you like, prayer), take in the good, and bless (including compassion, generosity, and love).
I saw one way to bless on a trip to ... Views: 221
Lately, I've been wondering what would be on my personal list of top five practices (all tied for first place). You might ask yourself the same question, knowing that you can cluster related practices under a single umbrella, your list may differ from mine, and your practices may change over ... Views: 227
Some Uncommon Sense We Should Teach in Schools?
By
Bill Cottringer
“Common sense is the simple knack of seeing something as it is and doing something as it should be done.” ~Mark Twain.
During my last seven decades of living, I accidentally stumbled upon some uncommon sense which I ... Views: 256
Remote work habits that allow you to stay connected, sane, and productive are essential for anyone looking to maintain a good quality of life while working remotely. For programmers, it's particularly vital because we're often introverts who don't always thrive in an open office environment. ... Views: 335
Meditation is to the mind what aerobic exercise is to the body. Like exercise, there are many good ways to do it, and you can find the one that suits you best.
Studies have shown that regular meditation promotes mindfulness (sustained observing awareness), whose benefits include decreased ... Views: 245
To view all images and activate all links (recommended):
https://joanpancoe.com/2021/11/01/2022-coming-attractions-choosing-a-belief-system-that-actually-works-for-you/
“True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous and conflicting information.”—Winston ... Views: 267
Feeling both the world and myself these days, one phrase keeps calling: lived by love.
Explicitly, this means coming from love in a broad sense, from compassion, good intentions, self-control, warmth, finding what’s to like, caring, connecting, and kindness.
Implicitly, and more ... Views: 303
One slice of the pie of life feels relaxed and contented. And then there is that other slice, in which we feel driven and stressed. Trying to get pleasures, avoid pains, pile up accomplishments and recognitions, be loved by more people. Lose more weight, try to fill the hole in the heart. Slake ... Views: 222
People are taken part in an inner dialogue or self-talk consistently. It is a sort of automatic response to just how we feel, as well as it influences our behavior based on our experiences in life. If your point of view is always negative, as well as if you consistently engage in negative ... Views: 469
Do you remember when you were little and would list off all the things you wanted to be when you grew up- with wild abandon.
Have you ever heard children talk about who or what they’re going to be when they grow up?
There are absolutely no limitations put on their dreams and ideas of the ... Views: 338
[If for you the breath is associated with trauma and discomfort, you probably shouldn't try this practice in its form below. But you might adapt it to something that is more nurturing for you, such as a saying or image.]
Breathing brings you home. Body and mind twine together in the breath. ... Views: 211
Waking up is like the sun rising. At first, it's mostly dark, as glimmers of consciousness begin to light the shadows. Emerging into full wakefulness, the fogs and veils dissolve and the whole plain of your mind comes into view. It's quiet: a restiveness in the body, sleepy still, not yet much ... Views: 251
I did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic want ("not the chainsaw, sweetie, how about this red truck?!"). Hundreds of bleary-eyed hours later, I found that offering alternatives reduced the ... Views: 203
Hustling through an airport, I stopped to buy some water. At the shop’s refrigerator, a man bent over, loading bottles into it. I reached past him and pulled out one he’d put in. He looked up, stopped working, got a bottle from another shelf, and held it out to me, saying, “This one is cold.” I ... Views: 216
One time I watched a three-year-old at her birthday party. Her friends were there from preschool, and she received lots of presents. The cake came out, she admired the pink frosting rose at its center, and everyone sang. One of the moms cut pieces and, without thinking sliced right through the ... Views: 203
When you're young, the territory of the psyche is like a vast estate, with rolling hills, forests and plains, swamps, and meadows. So many things can be experienced, expressed, wanted, and loved.
But as life goes along, most people pull back from major parts of their psyche. Perhaps a swamp ... Views: 267
The human body has about 100 trillion cells (plus another ten quadrillion microscopic critters hitching a ride, most of them beneficial or harmless). Each one of your cells has aims - goals, in a sense - controlled by its DNA: cells conduct processes aimed at particular functions, like building ... Views: 207
“Tell the truth.” It’s the foundation of science – and the foundation of healthy relationships, communities, and countries.
But the truth of things is complicated. To simplify, there is the good of things that are enjoyable and helpful, the bad of things that are painful and harmful, and the ... Views: 226
Today’s Primary Problem: Commonplace Evil
By
Bill Cottringer
“The way in which you define something has a lot to do with how much or how little of the thing you have in hand, both quantity and quality.” ~The Author.
Such is the case with the greatly misunderstood term evil. ... Views: 290
In response to a previous JOT – Find Stillness – a wise therapist, Betsy Sansby, reminded me that sometimes a person just can’t find any stillness anywhere. Maybe you have epilepsy or chronic pain or are wildly worried about a child or other loved one, or have been rejected in love or had the ... Views: 248
Things keep changing. The clock ticks, the day unfolds, trees grow, leaves turn brown, hair turns gray, children grow up and leave home, attention skitters from this to that, the cookie is delicious but then it’s all gone, you’re mad about something for a while and then get over it, ... Views: 258
Benefits & Callenges of Diversity
By
Bill Cottringer
“Our ability to reach unity in diversity will be the beauty and the test of our civilization.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi.
The rest of the workforce diversity story is unfolding as every great social change brings sometimes unexpected ... Views: 277
Most people, me included, are holding onto at least one thing way past its expiration date.
It could be a belief, perhaps that your hair is falling out and you are ugly and unlovable as a result, that you can’t say what you really feel in an intimate relationship, or that you must lose ten ... Views: 244
I am considerably successful in my career. However, once in a while, a voice in my head says I am faking it all the time. I feel like I don't deserve the accolades that come on my way. I have had this feeling throughout my academic life. It is now following me to my workplace.
And it is not ... Views: 196
Have you ever noticed that some days seem to go faster than others? That you find yourself saying to yourself, “Wow, today went fast.” Well, there may be a reason for that. This is what we will explore in this article.
There are three concepts of time. They are the past, the present, and the ... Views: 167
Liking feels good, plus it encourages us to approach and engage the world rather than withdraw from it.
Your brain continually tracks whether something is pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In essence, is it a carrot, a stick, or safely ignored? Naturally, we like - we enjoy - what's pleasant, ... Views: 221
Did you see the Social Dilemma, the Netflix Documentary?
The documentary follows a young girl and a young man in order to show the harmful effects of social media on their individual psyches.
The young girl reads positive comments her classmates made about her on social media, and her ... Views: 260
Who IS That?
In case you didn't know, Tammy Faye Bakker was an outspoken televangelist who was in her heyday in the 1970's and 1980's along with her husband, Jim Bakker.
For entrepreneurs reading this, it's worth mentioning that together (starting in an abandoned furniture store) they ... Views: 227
Rahu in the fourth house gives extramarital physical relationship sometimes though, depending on other planets. In the fourth house, it may cause problems for/with the mother. It will decrease the quantum of Sukh(joy and pleasures) in life even if life is successful in all aspects. Rahu will ... Views: 294
Throughout history, people have wondered about human nature. Deep down, are we basically good or bad?
When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or rejection, then most people settle into their resting state. ... Views: 280