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Imagine a world in which people interacted with each other like ants or fish. Imagine a day at work like this, or in your family, aware of the surface behavior of the people around you but oblivious to their inner life while they remain unmoved by your own.
That's a world without ... Views: 110
Friendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive.
Think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, ... Views: 121
The Wisdom of Insecurity
by
Bill Cottringer
“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos.
I wish I had originally come up with this simple but profound article title, but I have to give full credit to a ... Views: 135
Horses are used for the Equine Therapy In Pune People participate in activities such as grooming, feeding, and leading horses under the supervision of a mental health expert.
Equine therapy is one such mental therapy that’s getting popular lately. The therapy involves horses as a way to treat ... Views: 122
Compassion is essentially the wish that beings do not suffer - from subtle physical and emotional discomfort to agony and anguish - combined with feelings of sympathetic concern.
You could have compassion for an individual (a friend in the hospital, a co-worker passed over for a promotion), ... Views: 126
We’re usually aware of our own suffering, which – broadly defined – includes the whole range of physical and mental discomfort, from mild headache or anxiety to the agony of bone cancer or the anguish of losing a child. (Certainly, there is more to life than suffering, including great joy and ... Views: 137
Most of us wear a kind of mask, a persona that hides our deepest thoughts and feelings and presents a polished, controlled face to the world.
To be sure, a persona is a good thing to have. For example, meetings at work, holidays with the in-laws, or a first date are usually not the best time to ... Views: 119
Perhaps like you, I’ve been worrying lately about what it will take for all of us to live together in peace.
I remember what I’ve heard many teachers say to their students: Tell the truth. Play fair.
This is what we ask our own kids to do. It’s what we look for in a friend, a boss, and a ... Views: 106
By “us” all “thems,” I mean finding common ground with every person – especially those you fear or are angry with or who are simply very different from you. These days this practice is more important than ever.
For most of the past 300,000 years, our human ancestors lived in small bands of ... Views: 131
I was recently asked about my top five inner practices for 2019, and here they are:
Drop the stone
Let it flow
Learn as you go
“Us” all “thems”
Be amazed
By “learn as you go,” I mean that each day is an opportunity to take in the good: to help useful or enjoyable experiences ... Views: 143
I think there are five key things we can do inside ourselves to be happier, stronger, wiser, and more loving this year:
Drop the stone
Let it flow
Learn as you go
“Us” all “thems”
Be Amazed
My previous JOT explored the first of these: how to lay down the burdens of useless ... Views: 177
Repairing Virtual Communication failures
By
Bill Cottringer
“In a world that is constantly changing, it is to our advantage to learn how to adapt and enjoy something better.” ~Kenneth H. Blanchard.
Live, face-to-face (f2f) communication has always been difficult, unfortunately with ... Views: 135
As we begin a new year for many people, it’s natural to consider how to make it a good one. Besides taking action in the outer world – from fixing a dripping faucet to feeding every child – we can act inside our own minds . . . and take the benefits with us wherever we go. This year, what do you ... Views: 135
I once went to the movies when it was raining and brought my umbrella. Arriving early, I sat down on a bench to read, then headed to the theater. Suddenly I heard, “Uh, mister!” – and turned to see a teenage boy with a friendly smile running toward me with my umbrella. He didn’t know me but went ... Views: 139
Humans are profoundly social. Woven through the tapestry of our relationships are several major threads. One of these is power. The only question is, do we use it for good or ill?
The abuse of power can be called many things, including intimidation, fraud, discrimination, and tyranny. I’ll ... Views: 136
Because this practice could seem so abstract or so obvious that it’s not worth doing, I am going to take longer than usual to explain why it’s so important.
As I grew up, my family and schools felt like shaky ground. I didn’t understand why my parents and many kids reacted the way they did, ... Views: 134
So many things change. Leaves fall, friends move away, and children leave home. My dad died a year ago, and my mom about ten years before that. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting older (darn, there is no fooling the mirror).
The world changes, too. Evolving technologies alter jobs and ... Views: 154
This practice might sound extreme or pushy, and I want to tell you what I mean by it.
Everyone has lots of neighbors, and they come in many shapes and sizes. Obviously, the people living across the street are neighbors, but in some sense, so are the people you live with. Friends, relatives, ... Views: 148
Anger is tricky.
On the one hand, anger – feeling annoyed, irritated, resentful, fed up, mad, outraged, or enraged – alerts us to real threats, real injuries, and real wrongs that need correcting, and it energizes and fuels us to do something about them. In my family growing up, my parents had ... Views: 162
Positive emotions – such as feelings of gratitude, love, and confidence – strengthen the immune system, protect the heart against loss and trauma, build relationships, increase resilience, and promote success. Based on studies that have already been done, if a drug company could patent a ... Views: 175
I've been to New Zealand, and really respect and like it. There's a Maori term - turangawaewae, "a place to stand" - that I've come back to many times.
I'm sure I don't know the full meaning of the word in its cultural context. But at a basic level, it's clear that we all need a place to ... Views: 201
Sometimes something happens. Perhaps your sweet old cat takes a turn for the worse, or there’s a money problem, or your son waves goodbye as he gets on a plane to start college on the other side of the country. Sometimes it’s on a larger scale: maybe there’s been an election, and you’re ... Views: 169
If a man is currently in a relationship, he could be with a woman who is often cold, distant and dismissive of his feelings. As a result of this, he could often feel angry and even hateful and low, invisible and worthless.
Now, this might not be the first time he has been with a woman like ... Views: 350
It takes heart to live in even ordinary times.
By “taking heart,” I mean several related things:
Sensing your heart and chest
Finding encouragement in what is good both around you and inside you
Resting in your own warmth, compassion, and kindness; resting in the caring for you ... Views: 176
To view all images and activate all links (recommended):
https://joanpancoe.com/2022/07/26/a-mystics-midsummer-musings-once-you-get-a-taste-for-the-real-soul-food-junk-food-loses-its-flavor/
Let body needs dwindle and soul decisions increase. Diminish what you give your physical self. Your ... Views: 338
As I grew up, at home and school, it felt dangerous to be myself - my whole self, including the parts that made mistakes, got rebellious and angry, goofed around too loudly, or were awkward and vulnerable.
Not dangers of violence, as many have faced, but risks of being punished in other ways ... Views: 182
Introduction: Sex is a hot topic these days, and that’s a shame. We all know there’s more to sex than just getting it on. In fact, sex is something that should be taken seriously, especially if you want to have healthy relationships. But what do we really know about sex? Is it good for us? Is it ... Views: 231
Humans are an empathic, compassionate, and loving species, so it is natural to feel sad, worried, or fiery about the troubles and pain of other people. (And about those of cats and dogs and other animals, but I'll focus on human beings here.)
Long ago, the Buddha spoke of the "first dart" of ... Views: 163
Here are my top five inner practices for helping this year be a good one for you and others (click the links to see the first four):
Drop the stone
Let it flow
Learn as you go
“Us” all “thems"
Be amazed
By “be amazed,” I mean staying open to a sense of freshness, wonder, ... Views: 195
Two Serious Problems We were Warned About in 1970
By
Bill Cottringer
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything” ~George Bernard Shaw.
Are you feeling overwhelmed about the information overload and insane pace of technology ... Views: 180
It's kind of amazing: right now, what you think and feel, enjoy and suffer, is changing your brain. The brain is the organ that learns, designed by evolution to be changed by our experiences: what scientists call experience-dependent neuroplasticity.
Neurons that fire together, wire together. ... Views: 160
I usually describe a practice as something to do: get on your own side, see the being behind the eyes, take in the good, etc. This practice is different: it's something to recognize. From this recognition, appropriate action will follow. Let me explain.
Some years ago, I was invited to give a ... Views: 169
We all have issues - including demands upon us, stresses, illnesses, losses, vulnerabilities, and pain. (As Alan Watts put it: "Life is wiggly.") Of course, many of our issues - in the broad sense I'm using the word here - are related to important sources of fulfillment, such as starting a ... Views: 196
Instead of living in the moment, we live for the most part in our minds, cluttered with thoughts. These thoughts are in fact part of our memories from the past. These memories are either pleasant or unpleasant, depending upon whether we had a like or dislike towards them when they ... Views: 157
The easiest and usually most effective way to replenish your body is through good nutrition.
Most of us have a diet that is very different from the one that we are adapted to through millions of years of evolution - a diet of mainly vegetables, fruits, nuts, and meat. Humans first started ... Views: 176
(Note: This is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same-sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 173
(Note: This is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same-sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 161
[Note: This refill your cupboard is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same-sex relationships. Parenting is a complex ... Views: 198
[Note: This is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same-sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 175
[Note: This is adapted from Mother Nurture – a book written for mothers – focusing on typical situations that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers during the years before their children enter grade school. These are most commonly the years when mothers (biological and adoptive) ... Views: 196
When I look back on mistakes I've made - like dumping my anger on someone, making assumptions in haste, partying too much, losing my nerve, being afraid to speak from my heart - in all cases, a part of me had taken over. You know what I mean. The parts of us that have a partial view are driven ... Views: 187
In my early 20's, I went through Rolfing, a form of deep-tissue bodywork, and I nervously anticipated the 5th session, the one that goes deep into the belly. But instead of gobs of repressed emotional pain, what poured out was love - waves, and waves of love that I'd pushed down due to ... Views: 208
7 Pillars of Character Power
by
Bill Cottringer
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
~ John Wooden.
1. Openness.
I once commented on the importance ... Views: 213
Gravity and entropy are powerful processes in the natural world. Gravity draws things together, toward a center, while entropy scatters them into disorder. In much the same way, in our own lives, some things bring us to the center, while others disturb and disperse us.
In terms of centering, ... Views: 169
Most people spend most minutes of most days doing one thing after another. I sure do. Typing these words is a kind of doing, as is driving to work, making dinner, brushing one's teeth, or putting the kids to bed. For all the "labor-saving" devices of the past 50 years - dishwashers, phone ... Views: 187
Many years ago, I was in a significant relationship in which the other person started doing things that surprised and hurt me. I'll preserve the privacy here so I won't be concrete, but it was pretty intense. After going through the first wave of reactions - What?! How could you? Are you kidding ... Views: 200
During the Olympic games in the summer of 2021, we were able to hear about the separate consciousness of the various parts of the being. One of the premier gymnasts in the world withdrew from events by saying that she had lost, at least temporarily, the body consciousness that basically oriented ... Views: 191
Whether one is working with a professional in the field of psychology, or one is working on one’s own internally to resolve disturbances and inner conflicts, attain peace, or achieve balance in one’s life, certain basic knowledge is required. One needs to understand the complex nature of the ... Views: 198
For the most part, Western psychology is focused on treating what is considered ‘abnormal’ in order to help an individual fit into society and act ‘normally’. Much focus is put on external causes of various forms of disturbance and how the individual can adjust, adapt or respond to those ... Views: 269
What is psychological health and growth? Western psychology tends to define psychological health as the absence of various forms of extreme disturbance or disruption. ‘Normal” levels of dissatisfaction, upset-ness, are considered to be both acceptable and part of everyday life. It is only when ... Views: 284