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Articles from Rick Hanson | Selfgrowth.com
- Eat Right - by Submitted on Jan 20, 2025 from Rick HansonThe easiest and usually most effective way to replenish your body is through good nutrition. Most of us have a diet that is very different from the one that we are adapted to through millions of years of evolution - a diet of mainly vegetables, fruits, nuts, and meat. Humans first started ...
Views: 2 - Turn Anger into a Peaceful Heart - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2025 from Rick Hanson(Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 6 - Stay Well - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2025 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same-sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 10 - Feel Whole - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2024 from Rick HansonWhen I look back on mistakes I've made - like dumping my anger on someone, making assumptions in haste, partying too much, losing my nerve, being afraid to speak from my heart - in all cases, a part of me had taken over. You know what I mean. The parts of us that have a partial view are driven ...
Views: 37 - Love Freely - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2024 from Rick HansonIn my early 20's, I went through Rolfing, a form of deep-tissue bodywork, and I nervously anticipated the 5th session, the one that goes deep into the belly. But instead of gobs of repressed emotional pain, what poured out was love - waves, and waves of love that I'd pushed down due to ...
Views: 42 - Do Freely - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2024 from Rick HansonMost people spend most minutes of most days doing one thing after another. I sure do. Typing these words is a kind of doing, as is driving to work, making dinner, brushing one's teeth, or putting the kids to bed. For all the "labor-saving" devices of the past 50 years - dishwashers, phone ...
Views: 46 - Rest in Center - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2024 from Rick HansonGravity and entropy are powerful processes in the natural world. Gravity draws things together, toward a center, while entropy scatters them into disorder. In much the same way, in our own lives, some things bring us to the center, while others disturb and disperse us. In terms of ...
Views: 54 - Choose to Love - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2024 from Rick HansonMany years ago, I was in a significant relationship in which the other person started doing things that surprised and hurt me. I'll preserve the privacy here so I won't be concrete, but it was pretty intense. After going through the first wave of reactions - What?! How could you? Are you kidding ...
Views: 59 - Relax Needless Fear Around Other - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2024 from Rick HansonWe all know this fear. You step into a meeting with people you know and still, there could be a watchfulness, a restraint, a certain carefulness in how you speak that comes more from subtle anxiety than reasonable prudence. Perhaps someone disagrees with you in this meeting – and you feel ...
Views: 59 - Water Your Fruit Tree - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2024 from Rick HansonMy wife and kids tease me that the title of this practice is corny - and it is. Still, I like it. If you don't nourish the things that nourish you, they wither away like a plant in dry stony ground. Looking to the year ahead for you - a year that can begin whenever you want - what's one ...
Views: 68 - Enjoy the Freedom Not To - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2024 from Rick HansonWe're pulled and prodded by financial pressures, commuter traffic, corporate policies, technology, advertising, politics, and the people we work with and live with. As well, internal forces yank the proverbial chains, including emotional reactions, compelling desires, "shoulds," and internalized ...
Views: 73 - Enjoy Sobriety - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2024 from Rick HansonBy "sobriety," I mean healthy self-control, a centered enjoyment of life, and inner freedom from drivenness. We typically apply this sense of balance and self-care to things like food, drugs and alcohol, sexuality, money, and risky behaviors. And if you like, you could bring sobriety to other ...
Views: 80 - Accept Difficulty - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2024 from Rick HansonSometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ...
Views: 78 - Feel The Support - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2024 from Rick HansonWe're all carrying a load, including tasks, challenges, worries, inner criticism, mistreatment from others, physical and emotional pain, loss and illness now or later, and everyday stresses and frustrations. Take a moment to get a sense of your own load. It's very real, isn't it? ...
Views: 93 - Let Things Change - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2024 from Rick HansonThe fifth of my personal Top 5 practices (all tied for first place) is open out, by which I mean relaxing into a growing sense of connection, even oneness, with all things. "Opening out" can sound kind of airy-fairy or flaky, but I mean it is very down-to-earth ways; check out these JOTs ...
Views: 96 - Accept Them as They Are - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2024 from Rick HansonI admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me spam emails, or turning a blind eye to global warming. And I wish they'd start doing things like ...
Views: 99 - Accept It - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2024 from Rick HansonAs general clusters that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 types of practices (all tied for first place) are: Be mindful Love Take in the good Go green Open out The practice of “go green” helps you get out of the brain’s ...
Views: 98 - Grow Inner Strengths - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2024 from Rick HansonI've hiked a lot and have often had to depend on what was in my pack. Inner strengths are the supplies you've got in your pack as you make your way down the twisting and often hard road of life. They include a positive mood, common sense, integrity, inner peace, determination, and a warm heart. ...
Views: 111 - Enjoy Four Kinds of Peace - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2024 from Rick Hanson“Peace” can sound merely sentimental or clichéd (“visualize whirled peas”). But deep down, it’s what most of us long for. Consider the proverb: The highest happiness is peace. Not a peace inside that ignores pain in oneself or others or is acquired by shutting down. This is a durable ...
Views: 110 - Get Out of the War - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2024 from Rick HansonBy "war," I mean here a mindset, not combat between nations with tanks and bombs. The "war" I'm referring to is an attitude of conflict and animosity toward a person, object, or condition. Parents can feel at war with a misbehaving teenager, and certainly vice versa. Neighbors quarreling over a ...
Views: 120 - Drop the Load - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2024 from Rick HansonYou may have seen the old Mickey Mouse movie in which he is working at a conveyor belt in a factory. More and more widgets come at him that he must handle, and he gets increasingly frazzled as he struggles to keep up. Do you ever feel the same way? Think about all the dishes, emails, ...
Views: 125 - Accept Dependence - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2024 from Rick HansonWant to try a little experiment? Stop breathing. Really. For a few seconds, maybe a few dozen seconds, and see how it feels. For me, this experiment is an intimate way to experience a deep truth that we live dependently, relying on 10,000 things for physical survival, happiness, ...
Views: 131 - Give Them What They Want - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2024 from Rick HansonResearch shows that relationships are built from interactions, and interactions are built from moments. A critical moment in an interaction is when one person wants something from the other one. ("Wants" include wishes, needs, desires, hopes, and longings.) The want could be simple and concrete, ...
Views: 131 - Transform Ill Will - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2024 from Rick HansonGoodwill and ill will are about intention: the will is for good or ill. These intentions are expressed through action and inaction, word and deed, and-especially-thoughts. How do you feel when you sense another person taking potshots at you in her mind? What does it feel like to take potshots of ...
Views: 133 - Cultivate Goodwill - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2024 from Rick HansonAs the most social and loving species on the planet, we have the wonderful ability and inclination to connect with others, be empathic, cooperate, care, and love. On the other hand, we also have the capacity and inclination to be fearfully aggressive toward any individual or group we regard as ...
Views: 142 - Come to Center - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2024 from Rick HansonI’m old enough to remember a time when people usually answered “good” when you asked them the standard, “How are you?” (often said “harya?”). These days the answer is commonly “busy.” I know what it feels like to get very busy and start to feel dispersed: juggling a dozen priorities at ...
Views: 147 - Be Helpful - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2024 from Rick HansonWhy? I'm doing a series on my personal top five practices (all tied for first place). I have so far named three: meditate (including mindfulness, self-awareness, and, if you like, prayer), take in the good, and bless (including compassion, generosity, and love). I saw one way to ...
Views: 144 - Bless - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2024 from Rick HansonLately, I've been wondering what would be on my personal list of top five practices (all tied for first place). You might ask yourself the same question, knowing that you can cluster related practices under a single umbrella, your list may differ from mine, and your practices may change over ...
Views: 146 - Meditate - by Submitted on May 27, 2024 from Rick HansonMeditation is to the mind what aerobic exercise is to the body. Like exercise, there are many good ways to do it and you can find the one that suits you best. Studies have shown that regular meditation promotes mindfulness (sustained observing awareness), whose benefits include decreased ...
Views: 153 - Lived By Love - by Submitted on May 20, 2024 from Rick HansonFeeling both the world and myself these days, one phrase keeps calling: lived by love. Explicitly, this means coming from love in a broad sense, from compassion, good intentions, self-control, warmth, finding what’s to like, caring, connecting, and kindness. Implicitly, and more ...
Views: 154 - Feel Already Full - by Submitted on May 13, 2024 from Rick HansonOne slice of the pie of life feels relaxed and contented. And then there is that other slice, in which we feel driven and stressed. Trying to get pleasures, avoid pains, pile up accomplishments and recognitions, be loved by more people. Lose more weight, try to fill the hole in the heart. Slake ...
Views: 162 - One Breath at a Time - by Submitted on May 06, 2024 from Rick Hanson[If for you the breath is associated with trauma and discomfort, you probably shouldn't try this practice in its form below. But you might adapt it to something that is more nurturing for you, such as a saying or image.] Breathing brings you home. Body and mind twine together in the ...
Views: 173 - Lean Into Good On First Waking - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2024 from Rick HansonWaking up is like the sun rising. At first, it's mostly dark, as glimmers of consciousness begin to light the shadows. Emerging into full wakefulness, the fogs and veils dissolve and the whole plain of your mind comes into view. It's quiet: a restiveness in the body, sleepy still, not yet much ...
Views: 173 - See Deep Wants - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2024 from Rick HansonI did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic want ("not the chainsaw, sweetie, how about this red truck?!"). Hundreds of bleary-eyed hours later, I found that offering alternatives reduced the ...
Views: 173 - See Good Intentions - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2024 from Rick HansonHustling through an airport, I stopped to buy some water. At the shop’s refrigerator, a man bent over, loading bottles into it. I reached past him and pulled out one he’d put in. He looked up, stopped working, got a bottle from another shelf, and held it out to me, saying, “This one is cold.” I ...
Views: 186 - Drop The "Shoulds" - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2024 from Rick HansonOne time I watched a three-year-old at her birthday party. Her friends were there from preschool, and she received lots of presents. The cake came out, she admired the pink frosting rose at its center, and everyone sang. One of the moms cut pieces and, without thinking sliced right through the ...
Views: 193 - Let it R.A.I.N. - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2024 from Rick HansonWhen you're young, the territory of the psyche is like a vast estate, with rolling hills, forests and plains, swamps, and meadows. So many things can be experienced, expressed, wanted, and loved. But as life goes along, most people pull back from major parts of their psyche. Perhaps a ...
Views: 191 - Find Your Own Way - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2024 from Rick HansonThe human body has about 100 trillion cells (plus another ten quadrillion microscopic critters hitching a ride, most of them beneficial or harmless). Each one of your cells has aims - goals, in a sense - controlled by its DNA: cells conduct processes aimed at particular functions, like building ...
Views: 201 - Find The Good News - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2024 from Rick Hanson“Tell the truth.” It’s the foundation of science – and the foundation of healthy relationships, communities, and countries. But the truth of things is complicated. To simplify, there is the good of things that are enjoyable and helpful, the bad of things that are painful and harmful, and ...
Views: 201 - Change the Channel - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2024 from Rick HansonIn response to a previous JOT – Find Stillness – a wise therapist, Betsy Sansby, reminded me that sometimes a person just can’t find any stillness anywhere. Maybe you have epilepsy or chronic pain or are wildly worried about a child or other loved one, or have been rejected in love or had the ...
Views: 202 - Find Stillness - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2024 from Rick HansonThings keep changing. The clock ticks, the day unfolds, trees grow, leaves turn brown, hair turns gray, children grow up and leave home, attention skitters from this to that, the cookie is delicious but then it’s all gone, you’re mad about something for a while and then get over it, ...
Views: 198 - Let It Go - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2024 from Rick HansonMost people, me included, are holding onto at least one thing way past its expiration date. It could be a belief, perhaps that your hair is falling out and you are ugly and unlovable as a result, that you can’t say what you really feel in an intimate relationship, or that you must lose ...
Views: 196 - See What's Likable - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2024 from Rick HansonLiking feels good, plus it encourages us to approach and engage the world rather than withdraw from it. Your brain continually tracks whether something is pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In essence, is it a carrot, a stick, or safely ignored? Naturally, we like - we enjoy - what's ...
Views: 211 - Be Home - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2024 from Rick HansonThroughout history, people have wondered about human nature. Deep down, are we basically good or bad? When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or rejection, then most people settle into their resting ...
Views: 204 - Rest Your Weary Head - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2024 from Rick HansonThe traditional saying that's this week's practice has been sinking in for me lately. Thoughts have been swirling around like a sandstorm about work, things I've been reading, household tasks, finances, concerns about people, a yard that needs mowing, loose ends, projects, etc. etc. The other ...
Views: 229 - Gift Yourself - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2024 from Rick HansonCan you remember a time when you offered a gift to someone? Perhaps a holiday present, or a treat to a child, or taking time for a friend – or anything at all. How did this feel? Researchers have found that giving stimulates the same neural networks that light up when we feel physical pleasure, ...
Views: 221 - Enjoy Now - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2024 from Rick HansonThere’s a profound and miraculous mystery right under our noses: this instant of now has no duration at all, yet somehow it contains all the causes from the past that are creating the future. Everything arising to become this moment vanishes beneath our feet as the next moment wells up. Since ...
Views: 221 - Find What's Sacred - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2024 from Rick HansonThe word sacred has two kinds of meanings. First, it can refer to something related to religion or spirituality. Second, more broadly, it can refer to something that one cherishes, that is precious, to which one is respectfully, even reverently, dedicated, such as honesty with one's life ...
Views: 214 - Avoid The Rush - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2024 from Rick HansonAs I was meditating one morning, our cat hopped up onto my lap. It felt sweet to sit there with him. And yet - even though I was feeling fine and had plenty of time, there was this internal pressure to start zipping along with emails and calls and all the other clamoring minutiae of the ...
Views: 216 - Find Your North Star - by Submitted on Dec 25, 2023 from Rick HansonI did a meditation retreat (at Spirit Rock, a wonderful place, including for workshops). One evening as we walked out of the hall after the last sit, I was feeling rattled and discombobulated. (One of the benefits of a retreat - though it can be uncomfortable - is that it stirs up the sediments ...
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