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“Tell the truth.” It’s the foundation of science – and the foundation of healthy relationships, communities, and countries.
But the truth of things is complicated. To simplify, there is the good of things that are enjoyable and helpful, the bad of things that are painful and harmful, and ... Views: 6
In response to a previous JOT – Find Stillness – a wise therapist, Betsy Sansby, reminded me that sometimes a person just can’t find any stillness anywhere. Maybe you have epilepsy or chronic pain or are wildly worried about a child or other loved one, or have been rejected in love or had the ... Views: 11
Things keep changing. The clock ticks, the day unfolds, trees grow, leaves turn brown, hair turns gray, children grow up and leave home, attention skitters from this to that, the cookie is delicious but then it’s all gone, you’re mad about something for a while and then get over it, ... Views: 14
Most people, me included, are holding onto at least one thing way past its expiration date.
It could be a belief, perhaps that your hair is falling out and you are ugly and unlovable as a result, that you can’t say what you really feel in an intimate relationship, or that you must lose ... Views: 19
Liking feels good, plus it encourages us to approach and engage the world rather than withdraw from it.
Your brain continually tracks whether something is pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In essence, is it a carrot, a stick, or safely ignored? Naturally, we like - we enjoy - what's ... Views: 21
Throughout history, people have wondered about human nature. Deep down, are we basically good or bad?
When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or rejection, then most people settle into their resting ... Views: 27
Top 10 Artificial Intelligence (AI) Innovations for 2024. Artificial Intelligence (AI) is not just a buzzword anymore; it's an integral part of our daily lives.
As we approach 2024, AI is poised to become even more embedded in various aspects of our society, promising to revolutionize ... Views: 32
The traditional saying that's this week's practice has been sinking in for me lately. Thoughts have been swirling around like a sandstorm about work, things I've been reading, household tasks, finances, concerns about people, a yard that needs mowing, loose ends, projects, etc. etc. The other ... Views: 34
Can you remember a time when you offered a gift to someone? Perhaps a holiday present, or a treat to a child, or taking time for a friend – or anything at all. How did this feel? Researchers have found that giving stimulates the same neural networks that light up when we feel physical pleasure, ... Views: 34
There’s a profound and miraculous mystery right under our noses: this instant of now has no duration at all, yet somehow it contains all the causes from the past that are creating the future. Everything arising to become this moment vanishes beneath our feet as the next moment wells up. Since ... Views: 44
The word sacred has two kinds of meanings. First, it can refer to something related to religion or spirituality. Second, more broadly, it can refer to something that one cherishes, that is precious, to which one is respectfully, even reverently, dedicated, such as honesty with one's life ... Views: 45
As I was meditating one morning, our cat hopped up onto my lap. It felt sweet to sit there with him. And yet - even though I was feeling fine and had plenty of time, there was this internal pressure to start zipping along with emails and calls and all the other clamoring minutiae of the ... Views: 43
I did a meditation retreat (at Spirit Rock, a wonderful place, including for workshops). One evening as we walked out of the hall after the last sit, I was feeling rattled and discombobulated. (One of the benefits of a retreat - though it can be uncomfortable - is that it stirs up the sediments ... Views: 54
As a rock climber and a parent, I know some physical kinds of clinging are good - like too-small holds or small hands!
But clinging as a psychological state has a feeling of tension in it, and drivenness, insistence, obsession, or compulsion. As experiences flow through the mind - seeing, ... Views: 54
From moment to moment, the flows of thoughts and feelings, sensations and desires, and conscious and unconscious processes sculpt your nervous system like water, gradually carving furrows and eventually gullies on a hillside. Your brain is continually changing its structure. The only question ... Views: 64
Although fall is almost over, it's not too late for a Feel Good Fall article.
These articles are designed to boost your mood.
INSPIRATION LINK PARTIES
Every Monday I throw link parties that boost people's inspiration and positivity.
Participants share ideas for crafts, recipes, and ... Views: 60
There I was recently, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn’t find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal sense of pressure. Not ... Views: 59
In Part #1 of ‘Negative vs. Positive Thinking’, I gave you an overview of the conscious and unconscious mind and a glimpse into positive and negative thinking. Review on link below:
https://www.jamesmapes.com/james-mapes-blog/negative-vs-positive-thinking-part-1/
In Part #2, we are going ... Views: 70
Benevolence is a fancy word that means something simple: good intentions toward living beings, including oneself.
This goodwill is present in warmth, friendliness, compassion, ordinary decency, fair play, kindness, altruism, generosity, and love. The benevolent heart leans toward others; it ... Views: 75
One of the strangest and most meaningful experiences of my life occurred when I went through Rolfing (ten brilliant sessions of deep-tissue bodywork) in my early 20's. The fifth session works on the stomach area, and I was anticipating (= dreading) the release of buried sadness. Instead, there ... Views: 69
A previous JOT - admit fault and move on - was about our relationship with other people. This JOT applies the same practice to ourselves.
Most people know they have less than wonderful qualities, such as too much ambition (or too little), a weakness for wine or cookies, something of a temper, ... Views: 72
Have you ever watched two people quarrel, or otherwise be stuck in a conflict with each other? Usually, if either or both of them simply acknowledged one or more things, that would end the fight.
Recall a time someone mistreated you, let you down, dropped the ball, made an error, spoke ... Views: 64
As a kid, I was really out of touch with my body. I hardly noticed it most of the time, and when I did, I prodded it like a mule to do a better job of hauling "me" - the head - around.
This approach helped me to soldier through some tough times. But there were costs. Many pleasures were ... Views: 70
In middle school, I thought it would be cool to play a musical instrument and picked the clarinet. My wise parents rented one rather than buying it, and I started practicing. (In the garage because it sounded pretty screechy.) After a week or two of doing scales, I got bored and picked my way ... Views: 78
For many of us, perhaps the hardest thing of all is to believe that "I am a good person." We can climb mountains, work hard, acquire many skills, and act ethically - but truly feel that one is good deep down? Nah!
We end up not feeling like a good person in a number of ways. For example, I ... Views: 78
I remember times I felt frazzled or aggravated and then said something with an edge to it that just wasn't necessary or useful. Sometimes it was the words themselves: such as absolutes like "never" or always" or over-the-top phrases like "you're such a flake" or "that was stupid." More often, it ... Views: 90
Mindful eating is just a science that lets you pay attention to what you are eating and how it makes you, therefore, being mindful of what you are eating is important as it gives you the power to control your health and weight. In this process, you get to determine the results that you want to ... Views: 107
I once heard a teaching story in which an elder, a grandmother, was asked what she had done to become so happy, so wise, so loved, and respected. She replied: "It's because I know that there are two wolves in my heart, a wolf of love and a wolf of hate. And I know that everything depends on ... Views: 100
Things come at us with so much urgency and demand these days. Phones ring, texts buzz, emails pile up, new balls have to be juggled, work days lengthen and move into evenings and weekends, traffic gets denser, financial demands feel like a knife at the neck, ads and news clamor for attention, ... Views: 108
When we encounter someone, usually the mind automatically slots the person into a category: older, younger, your friend Tom, the kid next door, etc. Watch this happen in your own mind as you meet or talk with a co-worker, sales clerk, or family member.
In effect, the mind summarizes and ... Views: 112
In the vast landscape of personal development and wellness resources, there exists a platform that serves as a beacon of hope and transformation. Whether you're on a quest for self-improvement, wellness, or simply seeking a path to personal growth, this platform offers a wealth of tools, ... Views: 110
I had a lightbulb moment recently: I was feeling stressed about all the stuff I had to do (you probably know the feeling). After this went on for a while, I stepped back and kind of watched my mind, and could see that I was thinking of these various tasks as things, like big rocks that were ... Views: 114
To simplify and summarize, our brain has three primary motivational systems – Avoiding harm, Approaching rewards, and Attaching to “us” – that draw on many neural networks to accomplish their goals.
Lately, I’ve started to realize that a fourth fundamental human motivational system could be ... Views: 98
To simplify a complex process spanning 600 million years, your brain developed in ways that are loosely related to three major stages of vertebrate evolution:
Reptile - Brainstem, focused on avoiding harms
Mammal - Subcortex, focused on approaching rewards
Primate/human – Neocortex, ... Views: 122
To simplify a complex process spanning 600 million years, your brain developed in ways that are loosely related to the three major stages of vertebrate evolution:
Reptile – Brainstem, focused on avoiding harms
Mammal – Subcortex, focused on approaching rewards
Primate – Neocortex, ... Views: 124
I've always liked lizards.
Growing up in the outskirts of Los Angeles, I played in the foothills near our home. Sometimes I'd catch a lizard and stroke its belly, so it would relax in my hands, seeming to feel at ease.
In my early 20's, I found a lizard one chilly morning in the mountains. ... Views: 122
In every moment, you and I and everyone and everything else – from quantum foam to fleeting thoughts, intimate relationships, rainforest ecosystems, and the stars themselves – are each a kind of standing wave, like the ever-changing through a persistent pattern of water rising above a boulder in ... Views: 130
GAP-CLOSING
By
Bill Cottringer
Life is all the stuff that happens in between acknowledging our gaps and trying to deal with them. ~The author.
We are all confronted with problem gaps than need closing solutions in life. The differences are in the nature and priority of these gaps ... Views: 131
In every life, reminders arrive about what's really important.
I’ve received some myself, as I’m sure you have, too. Perhaps it was news of a potentially serious health problem, the death of a loved one, or an accident that could have turned fatal. These are uncomfortably concrete messages ... Views: 133
This practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. (I console myself knowing that the bucket is emptying a lot faster than it's filling with new tasks.)
Sometimes you can really feel what ... Views: 131
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Do You Think Opposites Attract? - by Marcia Naomi Berger, LCSW, has a private psychotherapy practice in San Rafael, California.
If you think opposites attract, think again! Just about everyone believes that opposites attract, but they don’t. Yet many relationship experts write that people seek partners whose traits complement their own.
THE OPPOSITES ATTRACT MYTH
It’s a myth that opposites attract, states Matthew ... Views: 160
We spend so much of our time trying to get somewhere.
Part of this comes from our biological nature. To survive, animals – including us – have to be goal-directed, leaning into the future.
It’s certainly healthy to pursue wholesome aims, like paying the rent on time, raising children well, ... Views: 138
In situations or relationships with any kind of difficulty – tension, feeling hurt, conflicts, mismatches of wants . . . the usual crud – it’s natural to focus on what others have done that’s problematic.
This could be useful for a while: it can energize you, highlight what you most care ... Views: 129
“P” Point Power
by
William Cottringer, Ph.D.
Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you. ~Aldous Huxley.
Earlier on in my correctional career, an MIT math genius, Herb Gross, introduced me to an obscure engineering term, which he called ... Views: 151
Lately, I've been thinking about a kind of "case" that's been running in my mind about someone in my extended family. The case is a combination of feeling hurt and mistreated, critique of the other person, irritation with others who haven't supported me, views about what should happen that ... Views: 150
Life is full of tradeoffs between benefits and costs.
Sometimes, the benefits are worth the costs. For example, the rewards of going for a run - getting out in fresh air, improving health, etc. - are, for me, at least, worth the costs of losing half an hour of work time while gaining a pair ... Views: 137
[Note: this practice involves our visual system, which for many people is impaired. If this is the case for you, you could adapt my suggestions to focus on the voices of others or a sense of their “energy.”]
As our ancestors evolved over millions of years in small bands, continually ... Views: 143
So what happens when we need a new start? How do we actually get through the amazing transformation our Creator has for us, going from that caterpillar to becoming the soaring, beautiful butterfly? You are definitely not alone in the unpleasant struggle. A metamorphosis is defined here in a ... Views: 189
Getting caught up in wanting - wanting both to get what's pleasant and to avoid what's unpleasant - is a major source of suffering and harm for oneself and others.
First, a lot of what we want to get comes with a big price tag - such as that second cupcake, constant stimulation via TV and ... Views: 124
The truth of anything is like a mosaic with many tiles and many parts.
One part of the truth of things is that they are robust and enduring, whether it's El Capitan in Yosemite or the love of a child for her mother and father.
Another part of the truth is that things bruise, tear, erode, ... Views: 150