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Whether you're feeling trauma from recent losses or are experiencing grief in the aftermath of past events, know that you can and will get through it. Following are pointers from first-hand experience.
Having experienced personal and professional losses within a relatively short period of ... Views: 1678
If one had their eye on a new car and they were to take it for a drive, they are likely to find out that it drives well. Along with how it drives, it is also likely to be a comfortable experience.
So if they are currently driving a car that is on its way out, this experience is going to be ... Views: 1676
The call came at 1:00 a.m. The call that never should have come. The call that Bruce would have moved heaven and earth to prevent. The call that ended everything when an apologetic voice dealt the fatal blow - his wife had suffered a heart attack at work and died.
Medication just knocks him ... Views: 1675
After my father had been moved to a closer hospital, towards the end of 2011, we were pleased that it would be a lot easier to visit him. Even so, this was a time when he was on a life support machine, so it wasn’t as if we could have a conversation with him.
There were times when I would ... Views: 1674
There is a tendency in our society to talk about healing loss, like it is a physical wound. It reduces loss to nothing more than an illness to be cured. Our objective is to heal it as quickly as possible and get back to normal.
This approach has failed us in our understanding of loss and made ... Views: 1669
Employees on either side of a large or small staff reduction (leaving or staying) suffer terribly over losing the people with whom they may have worked for as many as 10, 25, or 30+ years. You’re allowed to feel badly, to grieve. It’s a necessary process after the experience of losing your ... Views: 1668
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***Fear of Forgetting - by Sandy Clendenen, The Official Guide to Grief and Bereavement
After my husband’s death I spent a great deal of time focused on remembering. At first the focus was confined to the day he died. My mind would check to see if all the details were included in my memories.
As relatives gathered, the memory loop expanded. The remembrance became denser as others ... Views: 1667
December is a complex time of the year for many of us. It is a time of blessings and celebration but for many it is a time of loneliness and sadness fueled by anger or grief.
My experience of joy and celebration at this time of year is always colored by the fact that my dear mother passed ... Views: 1663
“Grief can destroy you --or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for ... Views: 1661
If you have experienced the loss of a loved one by suicide, you have a challenging journey ahead of you. Not only do you suffer heart wrenching grief from your loss, but also from the fact that she chose to take her own life. You may wonder if you could have done something to prevent it. You may ... Views: 1659
We are addicted to our stories. The thoughts come in and take us away on their magic carpet promise of arriving in a land of certainty, where the vulnerability and pain of life can't touch us. We learn early to climb aboard this carpet because, as young people, we usually don't know how to ... Views: 1659
Mother's Day carries a lot of emotional significance for most grievers. Whatever one's relationship with Mother, this person is our first connection here on the Earth plane.
This connection may have lasted a lifetime or it may have ended on the day of birth with adoption, or any number other ... Views: 1659
It had been a week since Dad's funeral, and life was getting back to normal for Sharon. Despite the sadness of the occasion, it had been nice to be with her brother and sister and their families. She hadn't been to her dad's house since he went into the hospital. She dreaded walking into the ... Views: 1658
Dear God,
I am trying to integrate Heavenletter, #697, What Does Sadness Teach You? It is so good, and I know I am in the verge of understanding it, but not quite getting it. I like the orchestra analogy and only hearing the low notes sometimes when the whole orchestra is playing. My ... Views: 1657
Losing a spouse is a devastating experience. Our friend, our partner, our soul mate is now gone and we are lost. It feels as if a part of us has died as well. In my practice, helping individuals deal with the loss of their partner was a common occurrence. Young or old, surviving spouses had ... Views: 1657
The most basic experience that all human beings have, which begins in the birth canal if not before, is that of pain and suffering or affliction. The fact of suffering, and how to deal with it and its effects, prompted the Buddha to present the Four Noble Truths. I like to refer to these as the ... Views: 1656
Sometimes we are separated from a loved one by death. At other times, we distance ourselves or somebody we are with decides to distance himself or herself from us.
Why do we become so attached and dependent and feel we cannot live without the people we love? Why do we lose our concentration ... Views: 1655
When I work with clients, I see their gifts and potentials and what they came here to do. I also see their departed loved ones, who come to the session to offer guidance. This information comes to me as photographic images, words, and strong feelings that I transmit directly to my clients.
I ... Views: 1655
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3 Mindful Tips for Dealing with Grief - by Julie Potiker, author of Life Falls Apart, but You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm In the Midst of Chaos
When we experience deep loss in life – whether from the death of a loved one or a “death” in some other area of our lives – grief is a natural response, and it looks different for everyone. From outpourings of sadness or anger, to feeling shut down and closed off, to the countless variations in ... Views: 1654
According to a website called Army.mil, ever since WWI, mothers of fallen soldiers have dubbed themselves as “Gold Star Mothers”. The name derived from the Gold Star, a symbol in the military known for “loss and sacrifice”. Ever since 1936, September 29th has officially been recognized by the ... Views: 1651
You visit your sick co-worker in the hospital or at home and he looks terrible. He's not sounding like himself and he's sharing way too much personal information. Then, you happen to see a pamphlet on the nightstand about a scary illness that you were not aware that he has. To top it off, some ... Views: 1648
The relationship with our pet is one of the most important relationships in our lives. Our pets provide us with love, comfort, joy, and companionship throughout their lives. It is only fitting that we mourn them when they pass on. Grieving the loss of a pet is a healthy way for each of us to ... Views: 1648
GRIEF AND STRESS
People who are grieving will experience a wide range of emotions. Anxiety caused by the stress of grief sometimes comes as an unexpected event. People are prepared to feel sadness, but anxiety seems a little more foreign. In order to help validate this very real experience ... Views: 1647
Our lives send us through ups and downs.
We expect that we will find a “key” that will unlock the mystery of perennial happiness, total clarity about what is going on, a firm and unending grasp upon the helm of our lives.
But inevitably, as night follows day, we find ourselves back in the ... Views: 1647
Grief is a strange emotion. It is a pain that bores down to our souls when a spouse or child, mother or father, sibling or friend is taken from our life. It is a storm of tears and anger, a string of unanswered questions. It is what remains after funeral and memorial services, when we are ... Views: 1646
Today is the 2nd anniversary of my mother's passing and who knows what has prompted me to write this, other than to pass on some thoughts (or maybe just some personal ramblings).
There's a line in a song:
'...you left me here, to remind me of you' and that to me is a comfort, as long as I ... Views: 1643
Robin Williams’ recent death left many of us, who didn’t even know him, feeling bereft. How could he, who was loved by millions, take his own life? How could his life have been so unbearable that he had to end it? And how do we cope with the aftermath?
About 40,000 people in the U.S. commit ... Views: 1636
Alas, the recent break-up of a nine year relationship was painful enough. But when my ex-partner’s daughter indefinitely suspended (if not permanently ended) weekly 3-5 minute Skypeing and my periodic visiting with her 3 ½ year old daughter (i.e., my ex’s grandchild), because the mother felt ... Views: 1634
When one loses their spouse, a top life stressor, the level of stress experienced can feel extremely overwhelming to the griever.
Modern life is filled with stress. And this stress occurs on many different levels. There are the daily stresses of life which are often ignored as trivial. These ... Views: 1634
It’s the morning after you’ve been to the doctor’s office, you have high blood pressure. Your “youth” is over. It’s the morning after you played three days of golf in a row; your “take-off” knee is double its size. You know that it’s time to schedule the replacement; you’re not thirty ... Views: 1633
When my grandmother passed away at 98 it was a very difficult time in my life. As part of the process of working through my own grief I wrote the following poem.
Grandma Went Home On Mother’s Day
She was the mother of a son and a daughter.
She was the loving grandmother to five.
She was ... Views: 1632
Fear is arguably the most common hidden emotion that mourners delay confronting. The reason is obvious: no one wants to appear weak. Of course, that is inbred societal nonsense that we have all been subjected to since fear is an expected response whenever we feel threatened by circumstances that ... Views: 1627
On Sunday night May10th 1998 at 9:18 pm, my life as I knew it changed forever. My beautiful wife of 21 years had died unexpectedly. She was a wonderful human being and she was my soul mate. Words cannot describe the feelings I experienced right after she passed away and for quite sometime to ... Views: 1625
Life is full of so many losses--Major losses brought about by fighting, divorce or separation, getting laid off, becoming ill, or dying. Then there are the minor losses, such as loss of a budding friendship, loss of a material object, even loss of hair. (Some may think this is a major loss, I ... Views: 1623
In today’s fast-paced world, there is often the need for instant gratification, and when something doesn’t happen straight away, it can lead to all kinds of problems. This can be a time when someone will experience a strong emotional reaction, and the sooner they get what they want the sooner ... Views: 1623
No matter how old someone is, there is a strong chance that they have experienced loss at one point or another. In fact, this could be something they have experienced on a number of occasions.
What this shows is that it is not necessary for one to reach a certain age before they lose someone ... Views: 1622
One of the most difficult phases in any life transition is the space of the unknown between a loss or change, and healing or new beginning. All life changes, even positive ones, entail a sense of loss or grief. For example, there is a sense of loss in giving up addictive behaviors like ... Views: 1622
Everyone loves a good laugh, especially those who are going through tough times. Laughter gives a momentary break from the crisis at hand and the anxiety it brings. A touch of humor reminds us that the patient and the family are not defined by the illness, and that those who are sad and grieving ... Views: 1621
Thoughts and beliefs—both of which are choices you make—are the underpinnings of the attitude you take toward loss. They are the major factors in how you will cope with your loss and to what extent you will experience additional and unnecessary suffering.
Regrettably, many of us have been ... Views: 1621
It is very essential to understand and realize that recognizing or admitting the grief promotes the healing process. Grief in itself is a natural and normal reaction or response to loss. It happens in response to the loss of something or a person most especially close to you. The Stages of ... Views: 1620
In the beginning of 2009, I had been working with someone for a little while, and this made me think about what it would be like to work with someone else. This was a time when I was doing a lot work around negative beliefs and past life trauma.
What also played a part here was that the ... Views: 1611
When someone you love leaves the physical body the pain is intense. It feels as there a huge hole has been torn in your heart and gut. You are shocked, it's impossible to accept, to get your head around the fact that no longer will you be able to talk with your loved one.
This is grief. ... Views: 1609
Replenish your inner strength while going through the grieving process
Saint Augustine of Hippo – “Love is the beauty of the soul.”
Just three weeks after my husband of 15 years passed away a family friend and psychologist said to me, “Even the Rock of Gibraltar needs to lean on someone.” It ... Views: 1603
Loss is natural, even inevitable, as we discussed in Part 1 of this article. But why does loss have to be so hard? And what can we do to make it just a bit easier? How do we deal with grief? With loss? Even with grief about loss? Here are some suggestions:
* Accept your feelings, particularly ... Views: 1601
Loss of A Loved One: The Journey of Grief
Since no two relationships are ever the same, the grief that follows
from this particular loss is also never the same. How could we possibly express the magnitude of the true loss we feel inside? We each experience loss and pain in our own personal ... Views: 1600
How do you survive Valentine's Day when your special valentine is no longer around?
1) If you are feeling sad or depressed, be honest about it.
In the past this may have been a special day for you and
your loved one. But now you are alone. If you are sad,
be being ... Views: 1599
So much has been said of friendship and love that it seems on one level redundant to even write about it. In my own life I have found insight, understanding, awareness and suffering, as I engage the pursuit of its experience and the never ending conversations that occur around the dance of its ... Views: 1599
Greetings!
As we begin to become friends, you will notice that I'm very frank with my language because I want you to heal and not go around the same emotional mountain for many years needlessly the way I had.
The reason for that is so that you will learn from my experience since I didn't ... Views: 1599
Words of Sympathy
People often stay away after something terrible has happened to a friend or loved one. They don’t stay away because they don’t care, but because they don’t think they can give any great words of comfort. We all know there are statements that flow from our mouths that should ... Views: 1590