Have you gotten over yourself, evicted your Ego, yet? Are you full steam ahead? Are you all in? Are you fully committed to really giving it your all, to throwing your whole Self in? Are you fully committed to kicking some serious butt, to creating an extraordinary life and awesomest ... Views: 731
A lot of times we experience our partner as selfish. They might seem self-indulgent, inconsiderate, self-absorbed, thoughtless, demanding, and unsupportive. They might be passive-aggressive and underminding. It appears that everything is about them and for them.
It is draining to be in ... Views: 590
Couples get stuck in how they relate in their relationship and no matter how they try to get unstuck, to meet their needs and to create a satisfying relationship, they just get more and more buried in dissatisfaction.
The negative cycle of relating, their stuckedness, is created because ... Views: 748
The longer we are with our partner and the more time goes on, there is a tendency for complacency, laziness, neglect, taking-for-grantedness, and boredom in the relationship.
These are common to relationships after the honeymoon period, the infatuation stage of relationships, is over. They ... Views: 686
It never ceases to amaze me what couples can accomplish and how they are able to turn their relationship around when they set their mind to it! I have literally seen miracles happen… I have seen couples come back from real horrible places. It is a formidable phenomenon to witness. I have, ... Views: 563
As I’ve written before, one of the reasons some couples’ relationships deteriorate over time is because the partners get lured by life away from their partner…
Partners work hard at their jobs and become involved in their careers, children absorb much of their attention and a multitude of ... Views: 577
Couples frequently come to my practice expressing that they have lost something or that something is missing in their relationship. They complain there is no passion. They share that they are good friends, but want something more in their relationship. A lot of these couples have a sexless ... Views: 1063
I LOVE this time of year to set myself up for an amazing new one. Everything I walked you through in the past few blogs, all captured here: How to Waltz into the New Year, I do myself. I’m so excited for the new habits I’m integrating this year like Morning Pages (concept from The Artist’s Way) ... Views: 574
Wow, the year is almost over! Here is a recap of the Season’s focus. In case you missed it, you might want to take a look at these to see what still applies and what you need to embrace to gracefully waltz into the New Year!
Intentionally Plan Your Holidays And Year-End (setting up your ... Views: 700
Boy, oh boy! Are people struggling right about now. If this is you, please know you are not alone and do not worry we’ll get you out of the funk soon enough! There are plenty of reasons for potentially not feeling well: Crunch time at work or business, spotlight on life success, overwhelm with ... Views: 673
Why do couples struggle enjoying downtime and having fun together? As we know, opposites attract. This phenomenon is also found in couples which means that usually partners have opposite personalities, needs, wishes and preferences – including what they consider relaxing, enjoyable and fun. This ... Views: 694
It is just the way it is for some couples. After a while they can’t feel their partner. They don’t feel loved and actually believe their partner doesn’t care about them. They feel like just roommates, two ships passing in the night. Others don’t even see each other at night! They spend so little ... Views: 712
Most couples can revitalize their relationship after they’ve lost desire for each other and/or after being in their non-sexual relationship (10 sexual encounters a year (less than one per month) for a while, even for decades! This is good news! These dissatisfied couples loose hope of ever ... Views: 827
I know not everybody enjoys and thrives during the holidays. Most actually don’t and struggle. I’m sorry if this is you. Tackling our Holiday and Year-End Process™ (HYP) might help… I know that our clients that fully embrace this process fare much better than those that don’t when the new year ... Views: 687
Giving in whatever manner tickles our heart is a significant path to feeling happiness. Our Giving doesn’t just touch others’ hearts and maybe even meet their needs with our gestures. Our Giving is also good for us. The act of giving and being generous stimulates the same neural network that ... Views: 761
Money. Money is a hot topic in many relationships as there are intense emotions attached to money as well as a range of meaning around it. Partners have different ideas about the importance of money, what it means to them, its purpose, its role, how to manage it, and even how to earn it! Couples ... Views: 797
The season of renewal is finally here and with it comes an invitation to awaken to life. Note the blue skies, the sun shining, birds chirping, flowers blooming. What an enchanting time to be alive. The possibilities are countless.
As we are coming out of hibernation, it is time to look around ... Views: 753
The Path to Passion & Synergy
One characteristic satisfied and successful couples have in common is that they are part of each other's lives. Duh-ah! I'm sure this does not come as a surprise. The trick though is how the partners are part of each other's lives. Partners have difficulties ... Views: 1047
I find that most couples do not have a vision of their future in place. They do not know where they are going in life. They deal with things as they come up, live pay-check-to-pay-check or floating their lives on credit cards, putting out fires, and mechanically going through their days. They ... Views: 890
Most couples can revitalize their relationship after they’ve lost desire for each other and/or after being in their non-sexual relationship (10 sexual encounters a year (less than one per month) for a while, even for decades! This is good news! These dissatisfied couples loose hope of ever ... Views: 1255
The bottom line of the romantic relationship is feeling connected, loved and acknowledged. This is what we strive for in our relationship. This is of course not the only thing we want out of our relationship, but it sure is one of the top ones! This explains the need to partner up in life. We ... Views: 941
I have noticed that when we have the foot to the pedal, we are moving so fast that we actually miss the beautiful scenery around us. We go about life trying to get things accomplished to such an extent that we burn ourselves out and end up actually accomplishing less… So, what’s the ... Views: 1096
I find that most couples do not have a vision of their future in place. They do not know where they are going in life. They deal with things as they come up, live pay-check-to-pay-check or floating their lives on credit cards, putting out fires, and mechanically going through their days. They ... Views: 1003
Our body is not just a receptacle that houses our Self. It is how the Self manifests itself. The flesh that we refer to as our body is actually all-knowing pulsating molecular energy. the material of the Self, our Being.
Here we store information such as our histories, experiences, their ... Views: 903
Have you noticed that when you are really close to what you want or to the next level in your life, things seem to go wrong? You are close to having your car paid off and you total it, you are about to win a sports competition and you get injured, you are about to take the trip of a life time ... Views: 918
How Do You Show Your Commitment?
I find that most couples do not have a vision of their future in place. They do not know where they are going in life. They deal with things as they come up, live pay-check-to-pay-check or floating their lives on credit cards, putting out fires, and ... Views: 874
I read a while ago, and found it applicable to many areas of our life, that we can handle as much as the span of your wings. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that God, the Universe, doesn’t bestow (good or bad) onto you more than you can handle? We can use this concept well in our growth, ... Views: 1740
Without even realizing or knowing how it happened sometimes couples find that they have gotten themselves stuck in a rut. This is very common and it can happen cyclically in the relationship. The couple’s rhythm inevitably sets this up to happen.
Some things that affect this phenomenon ... Views: 843
When we are in a vulnerable place, triggered, overextended, overwhelmed, stressed, hormonal, whatever, we function from a less than resourceful state and therefore can very easily fall prey to negative thinking, victimization, sabotaging, undermining, deprecating, blaming, abuse, neglect, and ... Views: 903
Do you remember when you were a kid and wanted something really badly? Whether you nagged someone to death to get it, or tried, rehearsed, or practiced incessantly you knew what it would take to get it and went for it. As kids we knew that repeating actions got results: learning to ride a bike, ... Views: 862
In our society Freedom is one of our most valuable assets and one we tend to take for granted. How we perceive and define our freedom is directly correlated to our sense of power and our ability to design the relationship and life we want. When we get stuck looking at our situation with a murky ... Views: 862
Unless we live in a cabin isolated from the world, grow our own veggies, and paint all day, we pretty much rely on our left brain (logical, technical, verbal brain) to live our lives, and even then we would still need our left brain to carry out life’s most basic functions. It is when we ... Views: 937
Abundance in our life is experienced in direct proportion to the level of Self Love and Self Care we give ourselves. Take a moment to soak that in. When we are stingy with our Self, our energy vibrates at a lower frequency which attracts other low frequency people, situations and results in our ... Views: 759
Our body is our most important possession. It houses, protects and enables our most precious possession our brain. Our brain creates and generates our mind and the essence of us. It makes us who we are on a daily basis. It is the CEO of Me, Inc. It is the master mind of our life. Some say it is ... Views: 1095
What do you usually think of when you think of the f word? We probably both think of the same four-letter word, but for today let’s make our f word a more meaningful word. F is for Focus. F is for Freedom. I’ve written before that what we focus on persists. What we focus on either enables us or ... Views: 866
Have you noticed that when you are really close to what you want or to the next level in your life, things seem to go wrong? You are close to having your car paid off and you total it, you are about to win a sports competition and you get injured, you are about to take the trip of a life time ... Views: 790
Every once in a while we need to acknowledge how far we’ve come in our relationship. Think back on how things were, when you were having a hard time in your relationship and had not started making a conscious and guided effort to make things better.
If your relationship is fairly new and you ... Views: 871
When couples struggle it is very common to find that the partners have not yet found a way to honor and support each other in genuine, compassionate and generous ways. Partners share that they have tried it all and are tired of not getting anything back, getting their needs met, nor being able ... Views: 795
Do you find that you have so many demands and responsibilities calling for your attention and resources that sometimes you feel like crawling under a rock and going to sleep for a millennium? Do you find that everyone wants a piece of you? Your kids have practical, social, intellectual and ... Views: 821
Are you using the parts you love about yourself in your relationship? Do you bring the best out in each other? Do you complement and learn from each other? Are you a team working towards a common goal? Do you stimulate each other? What is the underlying theme to your interactions with your ... Views: 1184
We bring a lot more into our relationship than we are aware. We are unique human beings with a unique set of history, parenting, socialization, wounding, and experiences. As we develop and journey in our lifetime, our uniqueness plays a role in all we do including how we relate to our partner. ... Views: 763
Isn’t it sad that most couples are not happy or that relationships are barely working as the partners wish? I attribute this to a lack of courage, to fear. For you see, we tend to lead with our defenses, protection and ego in our relationship. We are not attractive when we use our porcupine mode ... Views: 841
We leave freedom and independence to be celebrated on the 4th of July, and for politicians and policy makers to worry about. But freedom is a gift that should be treasured, cherished and protected in all contexts, especially in such an intimate and influential relationship in our lives such as ... Views: 774
It is a phenomenon when we feel energized, connected, and alive past the infatuation stage of our relationship.
At the beginning, we fall in love. We feel euphoric, on top of the world, passionate, sexy, wanted, lustful, etc. This stage lasts and can be maintained only for so long. In this ... Views: 834
Many couples operate under the assumption that being in a relationship means to be bossed around, told what to do, and to loose their personal freedom and choices. I have heard references to young couples getting engaged as “he bit the bullet” and other similar degrading remarks.
I’m sure you ... Views: 798
Sometimes we feel stuck and hopeless. We look at our life and relationship and wonder, What happened? This is not what I set out to create. Somewhere along the way you lost your path, you lost your self. And now, you have no idea where you want to go and how to get yourself there. You might ... Views: 885
A crippling state in relationships is when partners can’t seem to get each other and get on the same page. Partners struggle with being themselves, seen, accepted, recognized and embraced. I find when couples struggle is because the partners are having a difficult time honoring themselves and ... Views: 764
Couples run into trouble when the partners have different definitions of how things should be in their relationship. They operate under different assumptions, expectations, wishes and needs. One of the reasons for this is their Boundaries.
Individuals have two kinds of Boundaries that play ... Views: 1275
One version of couples struggling that I come across are couples with partners that are codependent. These are the couples that are stuck in patterns that they can’t seem to break, they have a lot of fighting and drama or complete disconnect (conflict avoiding), they feel they are behind their ... Views: 1535
Do you find that your interactions with your partner include some of the following?
Poor or no eye-contact
Giving of the back or talking to the back
Talking to the air
Not responding, acknowledging or answering questions
Dismissing
Shutting down, ignoring
... Views: 1432