Do you find that you have so many demands and responsibilities calling for your attention and resources that sometimes you feel like crawling under a rock and going to sleep for a millennium? Do you find that everyone wants a piece of you? Your kids have practical, social, intellectual and emotional needs. Your home needs tending and your family life has a ton of minutia to be managed. Your social calendar, extra-curricular activities and other commitments grab at you at every corner. Your job, business, or profession takes the bulk of your attention and energy. There is very little left for your partner There is nothing left for you Does this sound familiar? These are the majority of the partners that work with me. Doesn’t it make sense that their relationship would suffer given this scenario?

What also happens to these partners is that they lose sight of what is important to them. They get tunnel vision. They become robotic in their attempt at doing it all. In the guise of family values they become overextended with family and family related commitments doing their family a disservice in the end. In the guise of working and providing they miss out on their family and their life. These partners do not enjoy a balanced and healthy lifestyle, relationships and family life. They do not properly role model these for their children. These partners miss the bigger boat in life. Living in their everyday hamster wheel they miss out on embracing the meaning of their life.

Now, don’t get me wrong. You don’t have to be the next Mother Teresa or Gandhi for your life to have meaning and purpose. But you do have to live a balanced (whatever this means for you), healthy, intentional and meaningful life. You do have to make this world a better place. It is our duty as human Beings to contribute to this earth. And, all it takes is for us to live a Soulful, Authentic Life. That’s it! If we do this, we have accomplished our Mission. For from this place magnificent things follow.

So, where do we start? With tons of Self Care and Ownership, including proper boundaries, structures and systems that support us. We start by deconstructing our Mindset around self care, health, fitness, nutrition, support, worthiness, trust, investing, empowerment, power, mission, meaning, purpose, balance, motivation, accountability, responsibility, responsiveness, attunement, role modeling, family values, awesome relationship, passionate intimacy, passionate life. Stop the narrow, black and white, and victim perspective and scripts. Watch for these like a hawk and eradicate them. These are the cancer in your life.

Be gentle with your Self. Everything here has been ingrained in you since before you were born. We have family legacies. We have family trauma. We have all sorts of goodies that have been with us for a long while. Don’t beat up on your Self if you are moving slow or have repeating patterns that you can’t seem to shake. To your untrained eye, you might think there is something wrong with you, that this is how things are, that life is a succession of struggles and other untrue beliefs. There is nothing wrong with you. You are special and have your set of special circumstances to allow you to transcend your lot. Your job is to crack this code. That’s it!

Change your Mindset, be gentle with your Self, implement lots of Self care, and own your Self to create the life and relationship you desire and were meant to live. Start small and build on it. Take it one day at a time, I know you can do it!

Happy Creating!

Author's Bio: 

Emma K. Viglucci is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, is the creator of the MetroRelationship" philosophy and a variety of Successful Couples" programs and products that assist couples succeed at their relationship and life. To get your downloadable relationship enrichment insights and receive her weekly successful couples articles, nurturing nuggets (sm) and other resources visit: