In our society Freedom is one of our most valuable assets and one we tend to take for granted. How we perceive and define our freedom is directly correlated to our sense of power and our ability to design the relationship and life we want. When we get stuck looking at our situation with a murky set of glasses and limited parameters, it is inevitable that we’d feel stuck, boxed in, without options, and even controlled. It is crucial to your well-being to explore your definition of freedom and expand your parameters. If you have a limited perspective, you’ll get a limited outcome!

One’s independence and ability to be oneself, assert oneself, have one’s own life, and do what one may with it is essential to the survival of one’s spirit. When these are, or we believe these are, compromised our human essence is crippled. Our very survival is at stake. We have to take care of our Self to survive. The problem then arises that we forget (because we are triggered) that we are Free. We forget that we do have Power. We forget that we can make things happen, and Exist and Be Okay. In so doing we operate in survival mode and resort to primitive coping mechanisms of fight, flight or freeze. Our old brain kicks in and our modern brain shuts down.

What does this mean? This means that we do funny stuff! To our partner and others we look selfish, inconsiderate and even unloving. Even though we are trying to survive, our behaviors might be downright injurious. We might resort to over indulgences and other dangerous acts. We might pick fights, run away, or become otherwise unavailable. We feel stuck and unable to affect in any way. We feel so powerless, confused and lost that we question everything and yet can’t do anything about anything, or so we think. Stop this nonsense now before you do some real damage!

Stop blaming your circumstances for your situation and your partner for your dynamics. This is codependent and very limiting. Don’t give your power away. Expand your perspective and become creative with your interpretations and perceptions. Stop playing the old record. Own your independence, your freedom, your Self and you’ll see your choices and options. You can make changes. Start authoring your life and write your happy ending. You can design and live the relationship and life you want. And, you can do this now!

~ Your MetroRelationship" Assignment

Your situation, relationship and life are a product of what you put in. What you put in depends on how you look at it all. You can choose what you see and how you interpret it. Choose wisely!

Put in something different. Contribute from your individuality and uniqueness. Create space for your partner to put in something different if they so choose to.

It is Ok to be independent individuals we are all interconnected in the end anyway

Happy Independence!

Author's Bio: 

Emma K. Viglucci is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples, is the creator of the MetroRelationship" philosophy and a variety of Successful Couples" programs and products that assist couples succeed at their relationship and life. To get your downloadable relationship enrichment insights and receive her weekly successful couples articles, nurturing nuggets (sm) and other resources visit: