Couples frequently come to my practice expressing that they have lost something or that something is missing in their relationship. They complain there is no passion. They share that they are good friends, but want something more in their relationship. A lot of these couples have a sexless relationship (having sexual intimacy less than one time per week) and want to express and feel their love in all realms including the physical.

Passion has to do in part with the energy of the partners and the relationship. If one or both partners are tapped out, and if the relationship is depleted, not for nothing the partners find it difficult to feel passion and maintain a satisfying sexual relationship. Energy is required to have sex!

It behooves these partners to mind their own energy level and quality and nourish the relationship’s. The relationship’s energy is made up of what the partners put into the relationship, in the space between them: time, effort, care, nurturing, kindness, respect, etc.

Each partner’s own energy is very personal and they each need to determine what enhances and depletes it. It is up to each partner to protect, tend, create and manage their own energy. Energy can be generated and enhanced through tailored efforts to meet our specific needs in the areas of sleep and rest, nutrition, hydration, exercise, routine and life style, emotional and spiritual care, support system, and stimulation and fun.

Even small amounts of stress, toxicity, negativity, and drama and indulgence on substances such as drugs, alcohol, sugar, caffeine, and tobacco can have a detrimental effect on the quality and level of our energy and need to be eliminated from our lives.

Couples complaining that something is lost or missing, and about the lack of passion and intimacy, is an indication of depleted personal and relationship energy. The stuff in between us gets lost or damaged as time passes if not safeguarded. The courting, being on our best behavior, having our game face on, putting our best foot forward, and the intensity to be with one another diminish overtime. As the relationship and our lives become more complex, we become overextended and care less for ourselves becoming exhausted if we are not careful. Energies becoming depleted create an empty situation and a passionless relationship (and life!).

When both partners are consistently and appropriately taking care of themselves and putting in quality stuff into their relationship, energy abounds and sparks fly! Partners can reignite or find their passion!

Happy energizing!!

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Generate more personal energy! Work on one item from each list at a time. Increase the quantity and/or quality of: Sleep and rest Nutrition Hydration Exercise Routine and life style Emotional and spiritual care Support system Stimulation and fun Eradicate from your life: Stress Toxicity, negativity, and drama Indulgence on substances such as drugs, alcohol, sugar, caffeine, and tobacco

Author's Bio: 

Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health field in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. We help couples create a radiant and authentic relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™.