Is Your Life Working Wonderfully? How to Ditch the Fear of Success

There are several ways of getting rid of fear. Some people advocate facing it head on. That kind of person will lead you to the edge of the diving board and then give you a push. No doubt they do the same if you are in front of them with a parachute strapped to your back and hesitating before you jump.

This gung-ho approach works for some things but it’s difficult to do it by yourself, in the same way that it’s difficult to inflict pain on yourself. So if you have to be self–motivating you’re probably not going to take that route.

Another approach is to avoid fear completely. If you want to expand your business, make your career a bit more zappy, or make a major change in your life avoiding fear will just make you stay stuck. But for completeness, here are some guidelines on how to do it -

(Subtitle – the Yellow Custard Rabbit’s Guide to Never Being Afraid)

1. Don’t have any big dreams. Make sure your dreams are very small. That way no one is threatened, everything will stay the same and if you move forward, it will be at the speed of an infinitesimally slow snail. You won’t have to fear change because it isn’t going to happen. The really big dreams are scary because they involve you and your purpose, they are personal.

2. Make sure you don’t step across anyone’s boundaries. If you can't upset them you’ll stay safe. Small, frustrated, even angry, but safe. Your own boundaries will become a bit blurred and you may end up with ‘doormat’ stamped on your forehead. But hey, you’ll be safe.

3. Don’t admit to having any ambitions. Career ambitions? Business growth ambitions? Personal success? NO, No, No, not if you want to feel totally safe all of the time. People won’t like it. It’s not what you were meant to do.

4. Don’t rock the boat. Like, saying what you really think. Having opinions of your own. Who knows, your meek attitude combined with endless hard work might just get you to the top (yeah, right).

But if that sounds too restrictive, not much fun and all about other people’s stories, try the Hero’s approach –

Subtitle – The Hero’s Guide to Great Rewards (Making Fear Redundant)

1. You could have REALLY big dreams. Go on, live dangerously just for once, get a pen and paper and write down exactly what you want to do with your life, your business, you career. And you are only allowed to write things down when you’ve spent at least ten minutes daydreaming about this so you’ve got the full picture, all the sounds and smells and feelings – whatever you need to make your dream as vivid as possible.

2. Know where you begin and other people end. I’m not suggesting you turn into Mr or Ms obnoxious 2010 but if you change and their equilibrium is destroyed maybe that shouldn’t stop you changing. Maybe they can change too. Maybe you can change and keep all the best bits of who you are now. Maybe they can love your success. The possibilities are endless if you learn how to be your wonderful, authentic self.

3. Be as ambitious as you want to be. For you it may be running a company with a turnover of a million or more. Or a billion. Or it might be to start your own business. Or live your lifelong dream of becoming an astronaut. Or becoming the National Apple Pie Baker champion. Or all of the above (which would not be mutually incompatible, though you’d be awfully busy). And if it doesn’t feel quite like you, start off with a slightly smaller ambition but always have the big dream in mind.

4. Get the facts right, be knowledgeable, then express your opinions. You’re a grown up now and can have your say. It doesn’t mean you’ll always be right or get your own way. It does mean you will have a space in the universe and not be background scenery. And then you can really blossom.

Of course, this alternative view means that you won’t be surrounded by a total lack of fear. Yes, there will be times when you have to step out beyond your comfort zone. But the rewards will be great. You might get external rewards like riches, fame and fortune.

(c) 2010 Liz Copeland