Early Deprivation: Can Someone Have A Needless False Self If They Had A Depriving Childhood?

Even though someone will have a number of different needs, it doesn’t mean that they will be in touch with all of their needs, let alone do what they can to meet them. Instead, they can only be in touch with a few of their needs and they might not always do what they can to meet these needs.

However, if they are in this position, they might not be aware of what is going on. Yet, as strange as this may sound, this might just be what is normal, which will explain why this would be the case.

The Norm
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So, assuming that this is just what is normal, they can live a life where they take care of their basic and intellectual needs, for instance, but that could typically be about it. This will then include their need to eat, sleep, be clothed, and learn.

They can then spend a lot of time working, learning and they might see a few friends from time to time. But, their need to relax, have fun, experience affection, intimacy and deeper connections with others can largely be hidden and overlooked.

Missing Out

What this will mean is that their emotional needs will generally not be met. They are then going to be an interdependent human being who needs others but they will often act as though they are completely independent.

Nonetheless, as this is just what is normal, it won’t occur to them that they are not receiving what they need to be able to thrive. Still, as they are not meeting a number of their needs, they are likely to pay a price.

A Number of Symptoms

For example, they can often feel low, drained and disconnected. They might also suffer from anxiety, with it often being hard for them to feel at ease and concentrate.

If they were to reach out for support, this could be a time when they are told that their ‘negative’ thoughts and beliefs are the issue. Additionally, they might even be put on medication.

Another Angle

If they do focus on what is going on in their mind and/or go on medication, they might end up feeling better. But, even if this does take place, as they will have only dealt with the symptoms and not the cause, their life won’t have been transformed.

For this to take place, they will need to become aware of how they are out of touch with a number of their needs and this is stopping them from being able to meet them. In order for this to take place, they might need to experience something significant.

The Catalyst

If they were to experience a breakup or the loss of a loved one, this could send them in the right direction. The reason for this is that, in addition to unlocking some of the pain inside them, it can allow them to reconnect to the needs that they haven’t been connected to.

They can end up feeling very needy and want to connect to others, among other things. Nevertheless, this can also be a time when they will feel helpless and hopeless, and end up experiencing a deep sense of despair.

The Next Stage

Due to how they feel, they can go back to ignoring a number of their needs and trying to carry on as before. At this point, they could wonder why they feel this way when it comes to their emotional needs and don’t believe that they can meet them.

What might enter their mind is that there is no reason for them to be this way and that they can meet them. If they were able to go back in time and observe their early years, though, they might soon understand why they are this way.

Back In Time

Practically from the moment that they were born, they might have missed out on the attunement and care that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Their mother might have often left them and when she was available, she might have often provided misattuned care.

This would have caused them to be greatly deprived and deeply wounded. To handle the lack of love that was available, they would have had to lose touch with how they felt and a number of their needs.

No Other Choice

This would have involved them disconnecting from their body and creating a disembodied self. Thanks to the disconnected self that they formed, they wouldn’t have needed as much as they would have done if they had stayed connected to their body.

These other needs wouldn’t have disappeared; it just that they wouldn’t have been consciously aware of them. And, as they were not consciously aware of them, it would have stopped them from consciously suffering as much as they would have done otherwise.

Self-Protection

With this in mind, becoming a divided being was what allowed them to handle a stage of their life when they were greatly deprived and deeply wounded. If they hadn’t adapted in this way, their life would have probably come to an end.

The feelings that they experienced but had to repress all those years will have entered their conscious awareness now that they are aware of the needs that they had to lose touch with. This was a stage when they didn’t just feel helpless and hopeless; they were helpless and hopeless.

Moving Forward

For them to inhabit their body and be in touch with all of their needs, they are likely to have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.