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Articles from Dr. Dennis Neder | Selfgrowth.com
- Open(ing) Relationships - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2013 from Dr. Dennis NederHello Dr. Dennis! My girlfriend (2 years of a wonderful relationship) and I have been talking about an “open relationship” where we both could find other sex partners but stay together as a couple. We’re both enthusiastic about it but I wanted to get your take. Is this a good idea? Will it ...
Views: 1261 - That Summer Fling - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2013 from Dr. Dennis NederI’ve always loved summer. I love the hot weather, the parties, all the skin… One of the things I love most about summer is the “summer fling”; you know, that chance to hook up with someone to go enjoy the season – and sex – with you? It might be just a week (like when you’re on vacation) ...
Views: 1235 - What You Bring to the Table - by Submitted on Jan 12, 2013 from Dr. Dennis NederDuring the very first or second date with a new woman, I like to ask a simple question: “What do you bring to the table?” I love that question! I also love hearing it from someone I just met. Some people take offense to it assuming I should “just know” and “how dare I not know!” That’s ...
Views: 1595 - 10 Unethical Ways to Date More - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2012 from Dr. Dennis NederYou’re a nice guy or nice girl. You have morals and ethics. You want to do everything above-board and you play by the rules. The problem is, you’re getting nowhere with your dating/sex/relationship life! You look around you and see guys and girls that seem to be bending (or breaking) the ...
Views: 2656 - The Anti-Valentine’s Day Valentine’s Day - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2012 from Dr. Dennis NederSo, what’s it going to be this year? Crowded, noisy restaurant with lousy service? The usually dozen red roses? Jewelry? Card? A lot of whimpering and crying? Here’s the problem with Valentine’s Day: It has become the lousiest “Hallmark Holiday” on the calendar. It’s supposed to be a day ...
Views: 1228 - Relationship Death by Honesty - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederYour mother told you “always tell the truth”. When you testify in court, you are sworn to tell only the truth. Your partner expects total and complete honesty. Here’s the problem: you’re a liar. I know this without even knowing you. The fact, hard and cold as it may be, is that we are all ...
Views: 1512 - The Six “R’s” for Getting Your Ex Back - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederEven a broken watch is right twice a day, and yes, many people DO get their ex's back. The real question you should be asking however is "should you?" Nature plays this glorious trick on each of us. When we break up with someone, we're angry and hurt, we feel loss and helplessness. We have a ...
Views: 1659 - Building Attraction in Men - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2011 from Dr. Dennis Neder“Just what do men want anyway?” Yes, I get that question a lot these days and no, I don’t just answer with “sex”. (Yes, men want sex, but that’s not really the answer to this question.) You keep hearing that “men are simple” and that’s not really true. It’s based on that however that you ...
Views: 6362(1 vote) - The Deserving Dame - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederHello Dr. Dennis, Where can I find a financially stable guy that is willing to commit? I live in New York and I'm 28 years old. My love life completely stinks. I keep getting my heart broken. I've always dated guys who were either commitment-phobic, game players, liars or weren't well ...
Views: 1357(1 vote) - Nice Girl Finishes Last - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Dennis: I’m hearing a lot about “nice guys” who consider traveling to other countries to meet foreign woman because they feel unappreciated by American women who tend to be more fascinated by “bad boys”, wealthy guys, etc. Being a “nice girl” I feel stuck in a similar dilemma, in ...
Views: 1677 - Tired of Being Single - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederDr. Neder: I am a 36 year old woman who has been single for 3 years and I'm tired of it. I feel I'm of average attractiveness, I have a good job as an accountant, I run (marathons even!), hike, travel, have lots of friends, etc. I often hear advice from my attached friends, but the advice is ...
Views: 6519(3 votes) - Confused About Playing “Hard to Get” - by Submitted on May 07, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Doc! A few days ago I asked you about playing hard to get and you told me to read your article on your website "Dumb Games, and the Girls That Play Them". In it you said it’s a terrible idea, but I have experienced that when we get things easily we lose interest. That’s a fact right? So ...
Views: 1495 - Conversations for a First, Second or Third Date - by Submitted on May 07, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederMany people complain that they “hate to date”. Are you one of them? If so, it’s very likely that you’re afraid of just having to make “good” conversation. You don’t want it to come off as labored but you don’t want the awkward silences or misunderstandings and miscommunications either. If ...
Views: 9200 - Men and “The Hunt” Explained - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederI get lots of letters about all sorts of dating, sex and relationship problems every day. It’s interesting that they so often fall into clearly defined categories. One of the most common comes from women that follow various prescribed paths only to find that they prevent or destroy their ...
Views: 6891(4 votes) - A Plethora of Problems - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I have been dating my girlfriend for the past 14 months, and we have endured many situations. The one I need help with is her past. She has told me she has been with 7 guys prior to me. She originally told me 6, but I found out and not from her it was 7. She didn't tell me because I know ...
Views: 1220(5 votes) - Maybe I Can Just Bore Her Into Liking Me? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Doc! First off, I'm 21 and I stay near a pretty small town that’s big enough for a WalMart but the only "mall" in town has maybe 8 stores in it. Yeah, it’s THAT small. I got a girl's number a while back. We've only had maybe two real conversations during the last semester of college: ...
Views: 1592(4 votes) - How to Date – Back to Basics - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Dr. Dennis – Hi and thank you for your help! I am single and I have been for 2 years. I’m a 30-year old woman with 2 part-time kids. I am attractive (though somewhat overweight), intelligent and I like to think I'm good company. Recently, I have had some pretty bad luck in re-entering ...
Views: 1701(4 votes) - Giving it the Old College Try - by Submitted on May 05, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederI'm a 19 year old guy studying at college in the UK and there is a girl who I've seen around, mainly in the library. I would like to approach her but have no clue what to say and I'm afraid she might laugh at me for trying to speak to her. I have no confidence and I'm afraid the girl has noticed ...
Views: 1531 - How Do I Start Dating? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc, you gotta help me! I’m a 19 year old male, single and I haven't dated much. I’ve only been in one relationship and am now looking for a woman to be with and I just don't know where to look or even how to approach someone. My female cousins say to go to the movies, the mall, etc. but that ...
Views: 1072 - How to Get Women to Be Attracted - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I came to notice early in my life that treating women as if they are a goddess is a sure fire way of losing their interest. You can try to spend as much with them as possible, call/text them every day, give them compliments etc. but they will lose interest and think you’re ...
Views: 1370(8 votes) - Making a Move? - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederDr. Neder, My good friend has asked you a few questions and spoke very highly of the advice you've given him and the results he's received. I’ll take his word for it, and try to keep this brief, but I do want to give you the some background. I’m 23 and have a good degree and career. Two ...
Views: 1147(4 votes) - Three Years of Tears - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder I am hopelessly in love with a girl I met 3 years ago at a concert. She means the world to me! I’d give up the rest of my life to spend one night with her on a more than friend level. She has a Boyfriend but I truly care for her. I've tried to move on to different girls but ...
Views: 1100(3 votes) - Time for a Change? - by Submitted on Feb 03, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederSo here's the thing, I've been dating this girl for a while now. She's the type that seems like crave attention from other men, so she likes going out to clubs, parties etc. She also likes interacting with men online, flirting and things like that. I can't say I like the way she interacts and ...
Views: 1070(1 vote) - Christmas Day Dump - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I was with my girlfriend for 9 weeks before we split on Christmas day! Everything was perfect we loved each other had talked about holiday and kids and even where we were going to get married and moving in together but the problem I had was I never thought I was good enough for her so I ...
Views: 1327(1 vote) - When She Gives Too Much - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Doc: I’ve read your books and read your column every week. I can’t tell you how you’ve change my life! But, I had a question for you that I haven’t seen you write about before: what do you do when your girl gives too much? She cooks for me every chance she gets, she does my laundry, ...
Views: 1220(5 votes) - Keeping Him Satisfied and Interested - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder: I just recently became involved with a fellow six years my senior. He is everything I have ever dreamt of; there is just one problem….Me! I have always avoided the relationship scene because, frankly, I have no idea how to handle a relationship. I didn’t actually date until ...
Views: 1864(2 votes) - The Chase is the Game - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I'm dating this wonderful girl, but we've been going through issues in regards to the "chase" factor. We've already professed love for each other, so it's in a deeper stage than just the chasing phase, but she says of course that she wants to feel like she's still "chasing" me, since she ...
Views: 1213(1 vote) - The Six “R’s” to Getting your Ex Back - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHello Dr. Dennis: I know there are lots of books out on the ‘net claiming that you can get your ex back. Do any of these books really work? What if your ex has moved on and is dating someone else? I was dumped out of the blue. I knew in my heart that it wouldn’t work out because he is very ...
Views: 1139(2 votes) - Waiting in Line to be 100% Sure - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dennis: There’s this girl that I’ve liked since for 2 years. I've always made small talk with her but I’ve been too afraid to have a serious conversation with her. We recently did a group project together with me, her, and two other guys and she seemed to talk to me a lot more than ...
Views: 1221(3 votes) - A Matter of Height - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I have dated girls anywhere from 5'1 to 5'5 inches tall and even had girls 5'6 or 5'8 be attracted to me. The thing is though, I am 5'8 1/2, which isn’t really considered short, but is certainly not tall either. I have a solid, muscular build, am 190lbs, and I was just wondering if ...
Views: 1157(2 votes) - Her Gay Friend - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederOk Dr., here is the background for this question: -She and I are both in our early 20s. -We went to high school together. -We didn’t know each other well in high school, but were acquaintances with mutual friends. -I started talking to her about two months ago on a whim. -She lives far ...
Views: 1117 - Rebuilding a Sexual Relationship - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHi! I’ve been dating this girl for a year now, and she tells me tonight through the phone (long distance relationship) that when I approach her before sex I only approach one way and that’s climbing on top of her. She says I approach her like a horny virgin and I don’t turn her on and she ...
Views: 1287(1 vote) - I Need Something That’ll Work – Hurry! - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder: I’m a senior in high school and there’s this really cute girl in my psych class. I want to find a way to talk to her or get her to notice me or something but I don’t know how. Most stuff online would say to see her outside of class and just walk up and say something like, ...
Views: 1283(1 vote) - Stuck Between a Friendship and Something More - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Doc: I've known this girl for about a year now and I like her a lot. To cut a long story short, I've lost her twice now because of my lack of confidence which stops her from seeing me as more than a friend. She knows I'm interested and we almost had something but I pushed her away ...
Views: 3279 - All or Nothing in Common? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHi! I was wondering if you have to have stuff in common with the person you're dating? I was told that it doesn't matter how different you are, as long as you're happy when you're with the other person. I'm 18 and I recently dated a guy who only cared about finding stuff we have in common. ...
Views: 1069 - Me, Her and the Ex - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Doc, I've liked this girl for between 3-4 months. Initially when I got to know her, she was really nice and we were really close. We used to message and talk almost every day. For example, there was once when she went overseas and I told her I would miss her. She said “awww…” and that I ...
Views: 1174 - Should Women Approach Men? - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder: I have conflicting thoughts about whether or not it is okay for a female to initiate the conversation with the male. Many people that I know and even those on this board swear by the fact that it is the wrong thing to do. They say it will scare the man off or make him less ...
Views: 4184(8 votes) - On Being a Man - by Submitted on Jul 08, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Doc! I just want to say thanks for helping to transform me into a better man than I was! Growing up, I had a dad that was often not available due to work. He and my mother would frequently get into fights with him screaming and yelling (he never hit my mother however) but my limited time ...
Views: 1640 - The “Un-Ex” - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederI was in a long distance relationship over the internet and it ended 5 weeks ago. Basically I screwed up in silly ways and hurt her. I quit for a day, but came back and after staying away for another day she added me again during that first week (she said she'll always love me.) Over the next ...
Views: 1317(6 votes) - Trying to Reconcile - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Doc! My girlfriend and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. I’m 22 and we have been dating 3 years - on and off for 5. She broke up with me because of the way I was treating her, I was being a pretty bad boyfriend. So, after 5 weeks we had a talk and she was willing to open her heart for me to come ...
Views: 1389 - Rebounds and Responsibilities - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Dr. Neder, I met a girl (21yrs old) a little while ago, and have been going go out with her for 2 months. I now sense that she was on the rebound from another relationship; emotionally hurt and confused, but she does not make it clear to me that she is. This is affecting my relationship ...
Views: 1330 - Attraction and Love Formulas - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederI’ve been promoting a new concept on my show that has been very successful in explaining how attraction and love work. I call these them (collectively) “The Formula”. Is there really a “formula” for attraction and love? Yes, there is. I discovered them when I was working on what sorts of ...
Views: 1605(3 votes) - My Girlfriend is a Liar! - by Submitted on May 27, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederIt started as white lies at first about small things then on to more serious things. She is not a very good liar and exposes herself with inconsistent stories and I’m just about fed up. For instance, she was talking to a few guys before me, and lies about them not calling her. There are a more ...
Views: 5781 - Why is Having Sex Too Early Bad? - by Submitted on May 20, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dennis: The girls that give sex up front are getting all the guys, but they don't seem to keep them for long. Guys view them as a fuck buddy type thing but not for a real relationship. The women who wait a bit to give out sex live most of their lives lonely, but end up marrying the guy at ...
Views: 4068 - Is it Just “Clingy” or Something Else? - by Submitted on May 06, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Doc: I am 20 and the longest I have been in a relationship is 10 months, but I have noticed a pattern in all of the girls I have dated. When I first meet them, they seem to be head over heels for me, they seem to love my charm, since of humor and look and things go okay for about a month ...
Views: 1279 - Being Too Smart for “Girl Games” - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Dr. Neder! I've been reading through some of your answers and one common piece of advice you give women is to not play stupid games. Girls do it all the time and 9 times out of 10, it completely screws everything up for them and she ends up not getting what she wants out of the ...
Views: 1238 - Which Guys Are “Marriage Material”? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDr. Dennis: What are some signs that a man is "marriage material" and that a woman should definitely consider pursuing him seriously? =================== Hello! One of the best signs is to check the ring finger of his left hand (at least here in the States); if there's a wedding band there, ...
Views: 1954 - Maybe He’ll Be Mine if I Get Pregnant? - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Doc! Here is my situation: I am dating a guy who I am in love with. We started seeing each other in November 2008 but in February he told me we should break it off because he's not ready for anything serious as he is going through a divorce. He said he needs time to find himself. After that ...
Views: 1157 - Why Do Women Love Men? - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Doc, I have a question: why are women attracted to men (and not to each other)? I know what attracts me to women, women are beautiful and soft but I wonder what’s in women's brains that make them see men as more attractive than women? I can’t imagine my self kissing another man but why ...
Views: 2042 - Help! My World is Crumbling! - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I met a girl that has been hurt by a lot of guys in her past and I asked her out but I got turned down because she said she wanted to face her studies squarely. She came back home on Christmas break and I asked her again and we were so close to getting together, but then, she found out I ...
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