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I did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic want ("not the chainsaw, sweetie, how about this red truck"). Hundreds of bleary eyed hours later, I found that offering alternatives reduced child ... Views: 724
Establishing a balance between body and mind is vital for the general well-being of a person. Body and mind are inextricably connected, so everything we think about, affects our body in a certain way. Just think about how many times you’ve heard people say they have a headache, and after a ... Views: 991
“Peace” can sound merely sentimental or clichéd (“visualize whirled peas”). But deep down, it’s what most of us long for. Consider the proverb: The highest happiness is peace.
Not a peace inside that ignores pain in oneself or others, or is acquired by shutting down. This is a durable peace, ... Views: 745
I'm doing a series on my personal top five practices (all tied for first place), and have so far named three: meditate (including mindfulness, self-awareness, and, if you like, prayer), take in the good, and bless (including compassion, generosity, and love).
I saw one way to bless on a ... Views: 729
As general clusters that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 types of practices (all tied for first place) are:
* Be mindful
* Love
* Take in the good
* Go green
* Open out
So far, I’ve written about the first four of these clusters, and you can click the links just above ... Views: 783
“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra
There is no life without emotional scars; no one escapes flawless; no one can claim perfection without committing mockery upon himself. Jesus, the great example of humility for ... Views: 1432
Let go of negative thinking as it can become a habit of mind, and it can have a serious, sometimes devastating impact on all aspects of your life. It seems unfortunately that with most people, positive thinking requires some effort, whereas, negative thinking comes easily and often ... Views: 1505
I admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me spam emails, or turning a blind eye to global warming. And I wish they'd start doing things like ... Views: 1006
The fifth of my personal Top 5 practices (all tied for first place) is open out, by which I mean relaxing into a growing sense of connection, even oneness, with all things. (The other four are be mindful, love, take in the good, and go green.)
"Opening out" can sound kind of airy-fairy or ... Views: 779
Sometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ... Views: 767
I have been struggling with mental illness my entire life. Just recently, I began writing and speaking out about my struggles with depression, anxiety and ptsd, as well, shouting from the mountaintops to anyone who could hear, hoping not only to help others understand but to battle the stigma ... Views: 1282
Mental illness is the gorilla in the room that nobody wants to talk about. It is that dirty secret that everyone knows but never openly acknowledges, instead whispering about it in dark corners where others cannot hear. It has become an epidemic of catastrophic proportions, yet it is still ... Views: 1179
Today’s health conscious trends tell us that sugar can lead to diabetes and damage our brains to accelerate the onset of Alzheimer’s. Lack of fiber in our diets can lead to constipation, excessive weight gain, fatigue and physical weakness. Poor exercise habits can lead to back problems and ... Views: 1469
“I’ve seen 50, I’ve seen 60 and, baby, 40 is better.” I've been rich, I’ve been poor, and rich is better. I've been young, I've been old, and young is better. If I could turn back time, If I could find a way.”
CHER
Joan Pancoe: “NOT!”
Dear ONE,
This Fall, the ongoing ... Views: 1261
Your twenties are probably the sweetest part of your life. You get your first job, your first love, marriage, kids, your first car, your first home, start a new business, learn new things…But, unfortunately, most people spend their twenties being jobless/changing jobs, breaking up, living a ... Views: 957
We're all carrying a load, including tasks, challenges, worries, inner criticism, mistreatment from others, physical and emotional pain, loss and illness now or later, and everyday stresses and frustrations.
Take a moment to get a sense of your own load. It's very real, isn't it? Recognizing ... Views: 706
From the moment we’re born until the day we die we are continually absorbing messages that tell us who we are, what we’re worth as human beings, what we should be doing at any given time, how we should look (and especially how we shouldn’t look), what we should eat, what we should buy, what ... Views: 1058
By "sobriety," I mean healthy self-control, a centered enjoyment of life, and an inner freedom from drivenness. We typically apply this sense of balance and self-care to things like food, drugs and alcohol, sexuality, money, and risky behaviors. And if you like, you could bring sobriety to other ... Views: 737
WAITING ON THE FUTURE TO BE HAPPY
By: Mike Dailey
“How much of human life is lost in waiting.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life’s currency is measured and spent in time. Time, not money, is life’s true currency. If at the beginning of every day you were handed ... Views: 1090
We're pulled and prodded by financial pressures, commuter traffic, corporate policies, technology, advertising, politics, and the people we work with and live with. As well, internal forces yank the proverbial chains, including emotional reactions, compelling desires, "shoulds," and internalized ... Views: 814
My wife and kids tease me that the title of this practice is corny - and it is. Still, I like it. If you don't nourish the things that nourish you, they wither away like a plant in dry stony ground.
Looking to the year ahead for you - a year that can begin whenever you want - what's one key ... Views: 686
Why?
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture.]
The easiest and usually most effective way to replenish your body is through good nutrition.
Most of us have a diet that is very different from the one that we are adapted to through millions of years of evolution - a diet of mainly ... Views: 862
Using affirmations is a key component to building new mental habits and beliefs about yourself. What you tell yourself about yourself is directly related to your self-confidence, how you feel about yourself and what you believe you can accomplish. By repeating positive affirmations, you ... Views: 6850
People with high self-confidence naturally have optimistic and joyful emotions as well as the knowledge that they can change their emotions from negative to positive. You can’t be down in the dumps and have high self-confidence at the same time. The two don’t mix.
Emotions are a normal part ... Views: 7429
“Change,” “growth,” “learning,” and “self-discovery” are all terms that signify the same process. When you change and grow, you begin acting differently and are seen by others as a new person. You must encourage the old you to step down and allow the new you to blossom and take its place. ... Views: 6663
If you remain with low self-confidence, you can expect your life to continue as it is. Nothing will change. You will think poorly of yourself and, following your lead, others will too.
What to Expect with Low Self-Confidence
There are many costs associated with low self-confidence. ... Views: 6334
Many people believe a number of myths about self-confidence. They’ve heard these myths from relatives or friends, or perhaps they’ve read them in books or in articles.
These myths can be very damaging because they keep people from developing their self-confidence. They make people feel ... Views: 9060
Like everyone, you have a self-concept, which is a sense of who you are. It is a habit you’ve developed since the time you were very young, and it’s very familiar to you.
Let’s look at the difference between high self-confidence and low self-confidence.
If You Have High Self-Confidence, ... Views: 6251
Do you find it’s difficult for you to make your dreams come true? Are you so worried about how others think of you that you can’t live your life the way you want? Are you hesitant about making friends, or you have friends who put you down?
We’ve all had experiences where our confidence has ... Views: 6779
Ava goes throughout her day putting herself down. She looks at herself in the mirror in the morning and thinks how ugly her hair and nose are. She arrives at her job and tells herself how much she dislikes doing this work but that she’ll never find anything better. At lunch, she doesn’t sit ... Views: 6590
While it is true that your confidence was especially vulnerable to external influences when you were a child, as you grow older, you can gain awareness and perspective on what those influences were and how they were received. When you begin to do this, you can choose which influences you will ... Views: 6855
As girls are growing up, their parents and culture teach them how to be. Most girls get the message that they’re supposed to be and act in certain ways. Many of these messages encourage girls to be “less than.” In many ways, girls are taught to have low self-esteem as part of their ... Views: 6622
Since your self-talk affects everything about your life, what you learn in this article is crucial to your growth toward high self-confidence.
Have you ever said any of these to yourself?
• I can’t do it.
• I’m so stupid! I can’t do anything right.
• I’m afraid to speak up at ... Views: 7380
There are so many ways that your self-talk can add to your life or subtract to it. In this article, I’ll explain two types of mind games your self-talk can play with you: labeling and comparing yourself with others. Let’s start with labeling.
Labeling
Layla self-talks using negative ... Views: 5628
There are so many ways that your self-talk can add to your life or subtract to it. In this article, I’ll explain two types of mind games your self-talk can play with you: focusing on the negative while discounting the positive as well as mind reading. Let’s start with focusing on the negative ... Views: 6525
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 865
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 817
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 832
Mental health consist of our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.
Mental health is usually used as a substitute for mental health conditions, such as ... Views: 869
Mental health consist of our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.
Mental health is usually used as a substitute for mental health conditions, such as ... Views: 870
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 845
How We Find Happiness in Life. Happiness is life’s most desired goal. But we can never achieve it while we continue to look outside of ourselves, as it is an inside job.
“Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every ... Views: 834
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture - a book written for mothers - focusing on typical situations that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers during the years before their children enter grade school. These are most commonly the years when mothers (biological and adoptive) ... Views: 790
“From the Buddhist point of view, the Chinese officer who is committing the cruel act against the young boy is initiating a new cycle of negative karma. In the case of the child, there is a closure of a particular karma that the child is experiencing. The perpetrator of the crime is in fact an ... Views: 1306
Whether you've already married or might want to be, why not learn an easy way to keep your relationship happy and lifelong?
Regardless of life's ups and downs, if you've chosen your partner well, you can continue to enjoy romance, romance, intimacy, and teamwork. You'll deal with issues ... Views: 1195
Another day, another article. The experience of previous posts leaves you feeling that you are starting to repeat yourself. That, a few other limiting beliefs and you are successfully petrified. Don’t fret, burnouts are a common phenomenon in any field. And in doing creative work it’s easier to ... Views: 1367
We all know this fear. You're walking down a street, someone you don't know comes toward you, and there's a second or more of wariness, scanning, apprehension, and tension or bracing in the body: a barely conscious assessment of possible threat. Or you step into a meeting with people you know ... Views: 766
Aloha!
Why is laughter so important in the healing process?
One of my favorite clients is fond of saying, “Laughter is the cheapest medicine!” Three basic reasons why:
1. Laughter lightens up your spirit by shifting your emotions. You create a more positive frame of mind through ... Views: 851
If that title has the ring of a typical fitness course to it, there’s a good reason. There are a lot of similarities between mental fitness and physical fitness. A mind burdened with useless attitudes is as unhealthy as a body blanketed with layers of fat. And wouldn’t you know, just like there ... Views: 1010
Many years ago, I was in a significant relationship in which the other person started doing things that surprised and hurt me. I'll preserve the privacy here so I won't be concrete, but it was pretty intense. After going through the first wave of reactions - What?! How could you? Are you kidding ... Views: 644