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As a writer of two books in the self-improvement genre, I’ve heard numerous questions from my audiences about how one can improve themselves. But no one had ever asked something so peculiar. I’ll transcribe the submitted question verbatim.
“There is so much talk about motivation everywhere. ... Views: 800
“The great courageous act that we must all do, is to have the courage to step out of our history and past so that we can live our dreams.”
― Oprah Winfrey
We all have a calling in life. We are here for a reason and the dreams we hold inside us give us direction. But so often we push ... Views: 1146
Dr. Romance writes: Recently, I went through very unpleasant and difficult dental work, and the outpouring of kindness I received -- from my husband, who held onto my ankle all through the two and a half hours (and had nightmares that night about it) to my dear friends, who offered me support ... Views: 836
“Future shock is the shattering stress and disorientation that we
induce in individuals by subjecting them to too much change in too short a time.”
—ALVIN TOFFLER, Future Shock
Since we will always move away from what creates the most pain to what creates the least, the question becomes ... Views: 1057
I recently came across the following in a book called “The Middle Passage” by James Hollis:
“What the frightened individual wishes above all is the restoration of the sense of self which once worked. What the therapist knows is that the symptoms are helpful clues to the place of injury or ... Views: 691
We hear and read a lot of fear these days in psychological and spiritual circles. Mostly, fear is painted in a negative way as the energy that we have to wrestle with and overcome in order to live a life of joy. Most of the statements and quotes we read about fear pin it in the position of the ... Views: 816
Imagine someone asking you, "how many hours a week do you spend working," or "what do you do?" You are likely to answer something like, "I am a full-time student and I work part-time at a department store," or "I am a doctor," or I am a mechanic", or "I am an engineer", etc.
Your answer ... Views: 533
Achieving happiness and success can seem overwhelming, especially if you find yourself comparing yourself to the people around you. It may seem like other people can achieve happiness and success without much trouble at all--but this could not be further from the truth. In order to be happy, you ... Views: 741
MY FAVOURITE PLACE IS SHIMLA BECAUSE IT IS VERY BEAUTIFUL CITY , IT IS SURROUNDED BY MOUNTAINS AND HILLS. SHIMLA IS A CAPITAL OF HIMACHAL PRADESH AND SHIMLA IS ALSO THE SUMMER CAPITAL OF BRITISH INDIA. HIMACHAL IS ONE OF THE MOST SAFEST PLACE FOR TRAVELLERS IN INDIA WHICH HAS FAMOUS PLACES FOR ... Views: 649
The Two Main Goals of Personal Development
By
Bill Cottringer
“Small daily improvements are the key to staggering long-term results.” ~Anonymous.
Our personal development efforts in learning, growing and improving are aimed at increasing two very important capacities: (a) our ... Views: 912
Not long ago, the world waited with bated breath while watching the rescue of 12 boys, members of the Wild Boars soccer team, and their coach, who were caught in a flooded subterranean cave deep under the mountains of Chang Rai, Thailand. We witnessed the extraordinary worldwide commitment to ... Views: 952
Nowadays, criticism has such a negative connotation that most people automatically react poorly to the term itself, without even thinking about its benefits. People think that the phrase “constructive criticism” is something people made up so they could put a positive swing on bashing your ... Views: 1862
For many individuals, the past is not past but remains an ever-present influence in their present life. Even though the physical effects of past events often demand more attention, the psychological legacy may be much more difficult to move on from. If past events are processed as experiences to ... Views: 1080
Self confidence is not something that holds me back, in fact I really appreciate the level of confidence I enjoy and feel that I can make the choices and decisions I want without a feeling of concern or over riding fear. That is not to say that I am always successful, but I realize that even by ... Views: 3211
People hear the word “criticism” and they almost automatically flinch. Their hearts beat a little faster and they prepare themselves for the worst. It’s a safe bet that those same people never looked up synonyms for the word “criticism.” If they did, they’d see words like appreciation, ... Views: 1453
Generally, in our country, we are associating our identity based on our profession. You might have come across retired people also cherish and claim their status based on past professional accolades or achievements only. Even we introduce ourselves to others by quoting what we do. That is ... Views: 869
At least once a day the phrase “it’s hard being human” enters my brain. It usually arrives on the heels of my sons arguing with each other and me trying to teach them how to communicate more effectively. As a result of feeling hurt, one will lash out at the other, and before we know it the great ... Views: 792
Think about a time in your life when someone criticized something you did and it really affected you. Perhaps it came at a time when you were already feeling down, and it really hurt you. You probably said to yourself, "Why would someone say that? That's just mean." Perhaps you even allowed ... Views: 1457
“A strong positive mental attitude will
create more miracles than any wonder drug.”
-Patricia Neal, American actress
How does your attitude meter read?
Do you generally have a good attitude towards life, expecting the best and tossing aside the garbage that inevitably comes ... Views: 1273
Some of us think holding on makes us strong;
but sometimes it is letting go.
-Hermann Hesse, Poet
I strongly suggest you read Part 1 of this series:.
http://www.jamesmapes.com/how-to-let-go-of-the-rope-part-1
FYI: (The Conscious Mind=The Rider; The Unconscious Mind=The ... Views: 883
Dr. Romance writes:
Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can ... Views: 934
Not so long ago, I was talking to a business man in Korea. There we were negotiating a multi-million dollar deal, and neither could understand the other's language. Thanks to God for a good interpreter. Still, it required a great deal of effort on both our parts. I learned as we spoke to each ... Views: 1765
Have you ever wondered why certain other people seem to you to be so confident, personable and successful! They seem to receive an inordinate share of attention, approval and love. Some of them are beautiful, some are not; some are easy going, some are not. You may even wonder what secret ... Views: 1552
A friend once told me a word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. So I replied, "I might be stupid but I'm no fool". Then I realized the original version of that statement is "I might be a fool but I'm not stupid."
Suddenly the answer came to me. Bill Cosby ... Views: 1080
Criticism, for many people, carries the same meaning as judgment. In fact, one of the top synonyms of criticism is judgment. And, one of the top synonyms of critic is judge. No wonder people have such a hard time with this term! Who wants to be judged? Obviously, people get defensive when ... Views: 1395
It was said ever so wisely that” Work is not man’s punishment; it is his (or her) reward, his (or her) strength and his (or her) pleasure.” Every line rings true to anyone earning, not just for a living but for sustenance itself. For all of us who are blessed a billion times over just to have ... Views: 504
Every day is full of decisions: what to wear, what to buy for dinner, which way to go, who to contact, when to take the dog for a walk … But while those ‘small’ choices might affect how your day goes, it is the big ones that have a significant effect on your life. To work out the choices you can ... Views: 785
Dr. Romance writes: The average person pays more attention to what he or she's saying or thinking about than what he or she is hearing, or how his or her words are "landing" on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument. You can become a much more effective ... Views: 995
A Disturbing Reality
By
Bill Cottringer
“Logic will never change emotion or perception.” ~ Edward de Bono.
After studying things like success, happiness, failure, frustration and anger for several decades now, I have come to the conclusion there may be a very disturbing reality too ... Views: 1275
Psychological abuse leaves no visible marks and often remains hidden within families, romantic relationships, toxic individuals and groups, cults and organisations of various religious and non-religious orientations. However, it is at least as damaging as the more explicitly violent forms of ... Views: 1225
In a perfect world, if one is born from a human mother, has a brain, a face, a beating heart, organs, legs, and arms, then one is considered a human being. No one with half a brain would say, “Oh, look at that cute puppy, or kitten, or cockroach. Most intelligent people can recognize another ... Views: 1173
In this fast running world it is necessary that we match the pace with everything going on in our lives. Transportation has also been through any modifications over the period of time and today our lives seem to be crippled without a fast mode of transport. The roads today are filled with cars ... Views: 649
You could say that in life we are motivated by two basic forces – love and fear. Love opens us to the passion and excitement that love has to offer, while fear causes us to withdraw from life and hide away, terrified of hurt and pain. You can’t live life to the fullest with fear. John Lennon ... Views: 1418
Dr. Romance writes: There is always something in the news or on TV to scare us. Hysterical articles in the media sell papers, and attract eyeballs to websites, but are usually exaggerating the facts. If you listen without evaluating what you’re being told, it’s easy to become ... Views: 861
Dear Dr. Romance:
I congratulate you for your many helpful articles on the internet. I would like to have your advice. I am male and in the last 25 years I had a therapy experience which lasted 3 1/2 years and left me with unresolved issues; shorter therapy experiences with different ... Views: 1134
I work in acute addiction with clients who have lost everything to the perils of drugs and alcohol. I work with people who have surrendered their families, their dreams, and their sanities- all for a short rush of serotonin and dopamine. While motivation undoubtedly matters in one's success, it ... Views: 1238
Dr. Romance writes: You have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting ... Views: 781
How to get Success, People who greet the rising sun, it also applies to success. Everyone does the honor of the successful person. There is no short-cut of success, it is necessary to work hard in the right direction to get it. Successful people never go back by taking risks and sacrifice many ... Views: 807
The most common poison people take on a regular basis is negativity. It can control you in ways that you may not even be aware of. Eliminating it can make a major difference in your outlook and mindset. Here are some of the ways that you may be allowing negativity to be in your life.recognizing ... Views: 1477
In my private counseling practice, writes Dr. Romance, clients often tell me, “I want to be happy!” We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine ... Views: 784
We all have days where we wished we would have stayed in bed. For some, all it takes is a little dreary weather, and the blues start cropping up. Or, maybe a series of small incidents and setbacks during your morning routine has thrown your entire day off balance. Either way, once you’re stuck ... Views: 873
Here are some of the reasons that you may have a negative outlook on life. By recognizing these issues and addressing them, you can eliminate negativity from your life.eliminate negativity
Failure
Successful people fail multiple times, but they continue learning from those failures and ... Views: 1376
“Adapt or perish”.
Have you heard that before?
It is said that the only two certainties in life are death and taxes. Well, let’s add another one – constant change.
Change is an inevitable part of our existence. Almost every aspect of your life will go through some form of change. Those ... Views: 953
People tend to hold on to negativity in their lives, even though it makes them miserable. Why do they do this? Why it is so hard for them to let go?eliminate negativity
One of the reasons for this situation, is the fact that a lot of times, people feel like they have no control over ... Views: 1555