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Articles from Joyce Shafer, Book Doctor | Selfgrowth.com
- Are You Stuck in Survival Mode? - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAnother word for survival mode is stress. When stressed, we tend to become something we don’t really want to be: self-absorbed. There is a way out. An associate brought me up to date on her project. I offered a particular level of assistance. Here’s what she wrote back: “You’re so sweet to ...
Views: 17583 - What Causes Negative Thinking? - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2012 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDo you ever wonder if or wish there was an On-Off switch when it comes to negative thinking? Maybe if you know what causes it, you can find the switch and flip it. What we usually notice about negative thinking first is the Effect, not the Cause, of it. In fact, we may not even be aware that ...
Views: 8924(2 votes) - What Does Feeling Overwhelmed Really Mean? - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThere are two types of overwhelm: the type that’s triggered by external events and the type you self-impose. Both can be managed with the same technique. “I’m overwhelmed,” was my client’s first comment. You’ve been in that state of mind, and so have I. And, that’s what’s important to ...
Views: 6687(1 vote) - What Are the Differences Between Soul Needs and Ego Needs? - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWe are souls in physical form, and we have an ego that is meant to serve us in specific ways. Frustration happens when we get their needs confused (or ignore them) rather than have them work together. Let’s look at some ways to differentiate between ego needs and soul needs. Ego serves us ...
Views: 5836(1 vote) - Do You Feed Negativity? - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhen negativity knocks at your door, do you recognize it and send it away? Or do you invite it in for dinner, or worse, to stay with you as long as it likes—possibly for your lifetime? First, be clear that being the manager of negativity in your life isn’t about the fact you have negative ...
Views: 5131(25 votes) - What's Your Opinion about Opinions? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorBill Bullard said, “Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge…is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world.” Our society seems to admire highly ...
Views: 4960 - What Is a Short Temper Fuse Really About? - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWe all experience having a short fuse at times, though some seem to have this more often. What’s really going on; and can two simple methods make a difference? Thoughts that motivated my recent article, “Do You Experience Mixed Feelings About Being Patient and Tolerant?” didn’t stop when I ...
Views: 4946(1 vote) - The Importance of Suspense in a Novel - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2014 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhat makes suspense work in a novel? There’s quite a lot to know about this, but here are some highlights. Every story benefits from some level of suspense. Plot relies on it. For suspense to work well, readers have to care about or be curious about what will happen to one or more characters. ...
Views: 4877 - Proper Use of Abbreviations in Fiction and Nonfiction - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2014 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorTo abbreviate or not to abbreviate—that is the question. In this day and age of texting, people are becoming adept at using abbreviations. However, this is not appropriate, for the most part, when writing fiction or nonfiction, unless your characters have dialogues that involve texting. You have ...
Views: 4768 - Be True To Yourself - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAll of us have moments when we find ourselves at a crossroads and we’re not positively certain which path to take.. We may turn to family or friends for their thoughts and ideas. This is good if what you’re doing is looking for something akin to brainstorming for things to consider. Some who are ...
Views: 3832(1 vote) - The Power of a Firm Decision - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhatever you believe is involved in improvement or success, the power of a decision is key. It will help if you understand what this really means. A firm decision is one without discord, or one that transmutes any discord that makes an appearance. A firm decision is made and a knowing ...
Views: 3783(1 vote) - The Importance of Setting in a Fiction or Nonfiction Book - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2014 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorSetting is where the story and each scene take place, which you know. But do you grasp that setting can set the tone and mood readers experience, and can reveal and or trigger characters’ moods? You want to give enough (not too much) description for each scene to set the appearance, atmosphere, ...
Views: 3409 - Do You Rub Your Thoughts the Wrong Way? - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThere is a phrase, “That person rubs me the wrong way,” that basically means the person (though it also could be a situation) doesn’t make you feel good. You, at times, do this with your thoughts (most of us do); so what works to shift this? Esther Hicks of Abraham fame has a video on ...
Views: 3103(3 votes) - Do You Feel You Lack Direction in Life, Business, or Retirement? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhen you feel you lack direction in life, business, or retirement, it’s frustrating. It doesn’t have to be this way, if you have two things clear in your mind. You feel you lack direction if you don’t have a destination point envisioned in your mind. A destination point, in this context, is a ...
Views: 2893(1 vote) - Every Fear Hides A Wish - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThis title is a line of dialogue from a movie I recently watched. I shared it with a friend who emailed back, “What does THAT mean?” I suppose it could mean we wish the opposite of what we’re afraid of were true instead. If we fear instability in some area of our lives, perhaps we wish ...
Views: 2760(1 vote) - How Well Do You Cope with Change? - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThere are two types of change to be aware of—the type you desire and the type you don’t. Do you feel you manage yourself well enough through these? Do You Want Your Life to Be Different? If you desire change in some area of your life, the first thing that must change is whatever in you ...
Views: 2639(1 vote) - How Can I Identify My Life Purpose, True Goals, or Bucket List? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIs there really one question or method that can help you answer each or all three of these questions? Let’s find out. First, a few thoughts about each . . . Life Purpose This one gets a lot of play. I think it’s because many of us feel if we, without question, know what our purpose is, ...
Views: 2612(2 votes) - Life Coach, What Is Unique About You? - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorYou may have learned the same skills as your peers when you trained, but what is unique about you? What do you do or offer (or would like to) that’s different? Mike Litman said, “Your prosperity is hidden in the problem you were born to solve.” It’s not only about what is unique about you, ...
Views: 2490(4 votes) - Why Being and Feeling Authentic Can Be Challenging Especially These Days - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2012 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorMark Twain said, “The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.” Whatever you pursue in your outer life will never fill the inner void created by feeling inauthentic; you have to fill it yourself, and first. “Sam” was so distressed and confused that he’d pretty much shut down; ...
Views: 2275(2 votes) - Do Writers Really Have Blocks? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhat does your block look like? How does it behave? Here are some tips to help you kick the “buts” about blocks. I don’t believe in writer’s block, just the fact that one or more questions need to be asked; and, relaxed patience is needed while the answer comes to you. When I attempted my ...
Views: 2270(5 votes) - Boldness is its Own Reward - by Submitted on Jun 01, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhen you read the article title, does it rev you up or make you want to crawl back under the covers? Let’s look at what it means and go from there. The dictionary offers several meanings for the word bold, not all of them nice. One of its definitions is fearless. There’s a difference between ...
Views: 2222 - Do We Teach People How to Treat Us? - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWe can teach others how to treat us, but others also reflect to us how we treat ourselves (self-value), which is often a more subtle dynamic. Do you see how this creates a loop? Let’s bypass childhood and more extreme scenarios, as both of those are different conversations. Let’s consider ...
Views: 2197(4 votes) - Is It Time You Write to Make a Difference? - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAre you a life coach (or not) who toys with the idea of writing articles, e-books, and/or books? Don’t let a block stop you from making a difference; someone is waiting to hear from you. Imagine receiving emails that say something like “I had a breakthrough when I read your article.” (from a ...
Views: 2136(4 votes) - Do These Time Wasters Affect Your Life? - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorActivities we usually name as time wasters are too much TV viewing, daydreaming, or anything that isn’t a productive use of minutes and hours. Here are a few more to consider. Gossip. What’s the point, really? Conveying needed information to the appropriate person or people is useful, but ...
Views: 2110(3 votes) - How Do You Clear Your Inner Space? - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2012 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWouldn’t it be great to be able to point at and click a Delete button at what clutters your inner space? Our days would be so different if we could. When I turn on my computer each morning, I go through a 3-step ritual. First, I use a program (which interestingly has the word Aware in its ...
Views: 2060(2 votes) - What Am I Supposed to Be Doing with My Life? - by Submitted on May 08, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThis is a question many of us ask once or maybe a thousand times. It’s also a question that can only be answered by each of us for ourselves. This article isn’t about Barbara Sher’s Scanners, but I want to mention them first before I go on to what I want to say. If you have ever felt concerned ...
Views: 2050 - How to Write (and Market) a Quality eBook - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAn e-book can satisfy your desire to write, act as a business building tool, and provide true value to others in many ways. There are guidelines should you use to guarantee its quality. Here are several key points you want to use to improve or guarantee value for readers. Consider them before ...
Views: 2004(4 votes) - Does Gender Influence Prosperity? - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorTrue prosperity represents well-being in all areas of our lives. We know men and women are different, but we didn’t know one particular difference affects their prosperity attraction quotient. Ellie Drake of BraveHeartWomen and Dr. Sugar Singleton hosted a teleconference that was as riveting ...
Views: 1846(2 votes) - The Power of Choice and What You Choose - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2012 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhat we choose not only influences us in the moment, but beyond it. How well or often do you practice the power of choice? I was walking along on a beautiful morning, while my ego-mind was busy playing old tapes and imagining unpleasant future moments, when I noticed that I was allowing this ...
Views: 1841(1 vote) - How Do You Listen to Yourself? - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIt can be amazing to listen to how people talk about their perception of reality. You can literally hear how close they get to a point that would allow shift, but stop short. I had dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in a long while. As he told me about things that were different, it was easy ...
Views: 1838(5 votes) - What Is the Only Thing You Have Absolute Control Of? - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDid you get the answer to this question immediately? Horace said, “Life is largely a matter of expectations.” Expectations have a lot to do with the one thing you can control. There is one thing in life you have absolute control over: Your attitude. An excellent quote to remember is, ...
Views: 1812(4 votes) - Out of the Kiln: Vessels of Hope by Wendi Romero - by Submitted on May 06, 2014 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIn the 75 poems that reflect on life transitions and moments of keen awareness, found in Out of the Kiln: Vessels of Hope, accomplished poet Wendi Romero writes so that words no longer remain on the page but merge with the “tissues and bones” of the reader. Romero captures texture and substance ...
Views: 1809 - Do You Keep Beating the Same Drum? - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorHave you found a philosophy or technique you believe will lead you where you want to go: specific feelings and desired outcomes? It takes a while to realize you can’t get there, unless you travel the path to that destination. So much of what we do is habit we don’t recognize it for what it ...
Views: 1779(2 votes) - Your Focus Equals Your Commitment - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2012 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIf you ever feel your focus is faulty, check your commitment. But, also look at what else is going on in your life. It was a Sunday, a day I’d planned to relax and do as little as I could get away with. There were good programs and movies on, and I wanted to slounge (sleep and lounge) the ...
Views: 1761(1 vote) - Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business (the eCourse) - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAre you too busy trying not to lose in life and business to learn how to win? Leverage your time and energy the right way to create more of what you want to experience. “From this moment on, I refuse to settle for less than what I want!” Do you relate to this? Do you know what to do to make it ...
Views: 1711 - 5 Questions to Help You Become Your Authentic Self - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIt’s a complaint you and many others may share: I don’t feel authentic! These 5 questions can help you change this. If you feel inauthentic, you already know how painful that can be. If you’re a people-pleaser, you know how painful that can be, too. If you feel the real you lives behind a ...
Views: 1687(1 vote) - 2 Components of Real Change - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThere’s one particular thing that often stands in the way of any desired change; and, its partner has near-equal influence. Do you know what these are? Consideration about the ignition switch for real change started with an email from an associate saying he was in a state of flux and it ...
Views: 1673 - Are You Engaged in Effort or Struggle? - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2012 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhen you feel disempowered, you engage in struggle. What’s the way back to personal strength and power when this happens? Based on how you feel in your life right now, you know if it’s effort or struggle you’re engaging at this time. Here’s a bit more information to help you gain greater ...
Views: 1665(1 vote) - The Challenge of Proof of vs. Faith in Infinite Abundance - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIf you’re not experiencing infinite abundance, there’s a good reason it’s not your “reality” yet. The reason relates to a riddle. The challenge is like the riddle: which came first, the chicken or the egg? In this case it’s which comes first, measurable proof that you’re infinitely abundant ...
Views: 1661(3 votes) - How do You Grade Your Worth and Self-Worth? - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorHave you ever thought about how the way we’re taught to measure worth and self-worth is similar to how we got tests graded in school? There is an interesting parallel. The school grades you received for tests measured, in a limited fashion: how well you took tests (often designed to be ...
Views: 1639(9 votes) - Are You in Drive or Reverse? - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAre you traveling through life or are you on a journey? Are you looking forward or at the past? Your answers reveal a lot about the direction you’re going in and what kind of experiences you’ll have. Maybe you can relate… It was a major life change for me to move from New York City to my ...
Views: 1633 - Do You Experience Mixed Feelings About Being Patient and Tolerant? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorPatience and tolerance are behaviors and states of mind to practice, right? How well do you do with them? Questions about Patience and Tolerance came to me after I spent extended time with someone who couldn’t seem to talk about anything that wasn’t unpleasant. All of us need a dose of ...
Views: 1627(1 vote) - Do You Struggle With Feeling Authentic? - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDo you carry the feeling of not being your authentic self or living authentically, and a fear of doing so? If your answer is yes, here are two significant causes for this you need to be aware of. What I consider the first cause—a genuinely significant one—is that we, for the most part have ...
Views: 1618(2 votes) - One Reason Your Nagging Issue Seems Hardest to Resolve - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThis particular reason keeps the same problem or problems around far longer than you ever imagined they would be. It’s also what contributes to your feeling stressed, exhausted, frustrated, and why little to no lasting progress is made, no matter what you do. Think of one issue you’ve been ...
Views: 1612(2 votes) - How Would You Answer This Simple Happiness Question? - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDo you ever compare where you are now in your life to where others are, or to where you thought you should be by this time? If you do and don’t feel happy, the question and comments here may help. I have a friend who recently set up a Facebook page and began to reconnect with long-lost ...
Views: 1610(7 votes) - Why Should A Life Coach Write? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorHow and what do you feel when a writer shares an insight or technique that creates a desired shift for you at the inner and/or outer level? Exactly! You’re reading this now, which means you have a desire to provide a similar experience for others through your unique offering: articles, ...
Views: 1585(3 votes) - What Confidence Is and Is Not - by Submitted on Jul 20, 2012 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhat do you believe confidence is? Maybe you’re right, and maybe you’ll be surprised. Maybe you, like many, confuse confidence with competence. And that’s understandable because you’re advised to enhance your skills, knowledge, and expertise, and presto: The confident you will emerge and ...
Views: 1566(1 vote) - What Self-Sabotaging Behavior is About - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorSelf-sabotage is not about lack of willpower; so, you can stop beating yourself up about that one. What it is about may surprise you… and empower you. Self-sabotage happens when you confront the need to move out of your comfort zone to improve your life experience or make a dream or goal ...
Views: 1554(1 vote) - You Reached Your Goal So Why Do You Feel Less Than You Anticipated? - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorYou pick a goal and hit it. You’re supposed to feel good or great, even amazing—but, you don’t. Hmm . . . You followed the formula: picked a goal, made a plan, worked your plan. You succeeded, but you don’t feel the way you thought you would. What happened? You aimed at the wrong target. ...
Views: 1550(5 votes) - Is Your Focus on the Target or the Prize? - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThe article title asks an important question. The one you focus on has everything to do with not only your outcome but your experience reaching it. In his book, Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality, Anthony De Mello quotes Chinese sage Tranxu: “When the archer shoots for no ...
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