Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Abuse and Recovery Articles
We are currently looking for an Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Abuse and Recovery". If you have expertise in Abuse and Recovery and your own website and/or product for this topic, please review this form for complete details. The Official Guide Position is part of our Premium Placement Package
- Divorce Visitation - When Domestic Abuse Revels Itself in the Interest of the Controlling Parent - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.In helping people negotiate child custody and visitation schedules, I’ve come to see a pattern express itself in terms of parents’ desire for their children to have equal access to both parents. The moment I see resistance to equal access to both parents based on what a parent “may” do without ...
Views: 986 - How Rihanna Can Be a Positive Role Model for Teenagers - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2009 from Phyllis GoldbergChildren today are caught in the crosshairs of modern media. Technology has become their babysitter – reality TV, nude photos on the Internet, bizarre videos on YouTube, seductive text messages. It's time for these young people to be exposed instead to role models who have the potential to ...
Views: 2821 - Controlling Relationships – The 4 Ways an Abuser Controls His/Her Victim - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Abuse is fundamentally about control. Violence may be a manifestation of relationship abuse, but domestic abuse is really about control. And the perpetrator can’t bear to be out of control. When perpetrators feel they are losing control, their means to exercise control escalates. What are the ...
Views: 1264 - The Intergenerational Transmission of the Cycle of Family Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If your home consists of one (or more) parent that batters, chances are higher that your children will acquire the same tendency to be controlling and use battering to get their way. Now this doesn’t mean that all children of abusers become abusers, as they may very well instead become victims ...
Views: 1183 - Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2009 from James LeGrandThe news that R&B singer Chris Brown physically abused songstress Rihanna placed domestic violence in the spotlight once again. The drama that is playing out in front of millions of people between these two young celebrities is lived by millions of people around the world. This is not just a ...
Views: 1996 - Domestic Abuse Survivor Tips - The 3 Keys to Thriving after Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We all have our moments when we slide into that beaten down spot and find ourselves wallowing in thoughts that keep us there. It’s as if one picks up where one’s former batterer left off. When that happens, nip it in the bud. In the same way that you may quash a cold coming at its early onset ...
Views: 1140 - Friend or Daughter in an Abusive Relationship - 3 Secrets to Saving Your Relationship with Them - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Why do we hate victims of domestic abuse? We hate the hold their perpetrators have over them when it interferes with us getting what love and affection we are accustom to receiving from them. We hate the frustration of not being able to shake them awake. We hate their choosing to be controlled ...
Views: 1036 - Understanding the Dynamics of Verbal Abuse in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 13, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Verbal abuse is toxic. The following is Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviewing domestic abuse consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. in an effort to help people recognize and understand verbal abuse in unhealthy relationships. 1) KATE CARLSON: In your words, please define verbal abuse and ...
Views: 1973 - A Definition of the Word Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 13, 2009 from Karyn Maier“A Definition of the Word Abuse” is excerpted from The Spouse Abuse Tutorial located at http://www.comcom121.org/abuse. We begin with a definition of the word abuse. If you do a Google search for “define: abuse”, you’ll get about 30 definitions, no two are the same; there is no agreement about ...
Views: 2775(2 votes) - How to Help Shine the Light on Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.I’m frequently approached by families to help them “yank” their adult daughter or son out of an abusive relationship. And they come to me wanting me to “do it” as they have attempted to “do it.” That is by trying to influence their adult child’s choices in whatever way the parents are accustomed ...
Views: 984 - 3 Telltale Signs of Emotional Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.How do you know if this is emotional abuse? How do you know if you are being abused emotionally? You know from the inside out. Look closely at these three tell-tale signs of emotional abuse and let your awareness of your inner experience, relative to each, permeate your entire being. 1) Being ...
Views: 1366 - Leaving an Abusive Relationship – The Victim’s Power After the Altercation - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When is the best time to grab a victim out of an abusive relationship? There are two points of intervention. That is, there are two times when she/he is MOST amenable to leaving the abusive relationship. What are these times? 1) Before she/he settles into the relationship and becomes part of ...
Views: 1494 - Domestic Violence and the Legal Abuse Syndrome - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Married women on their way out of an abusive relationship are frequently found navigating the system en route to safety. But is their path safe? Not necessarily so. We frequently see women struggling in relation to their legal counsel just as they struggled in their battering relationship. And ...
Views: 1521 - The Legal Implications of Battered Woman Syndrome - by Submitted on Jun 23, 2010 from Su EricksenLet’s examine the legal implications of Battered Woman Syndrome. BWS was first proposed in the 1970’s. According to Joe Wheeler Dixon, PhD, JD BWS appears to be the product of legal advocacy and not science. BWS seems to owe its existence to the needs of legal advocates to support and justify ...
Views: 1905 - How Does Battered Woman Syndrome Affect Children? - by Submitted on Jun 23, 2010 from Su EricksenWhat effect does Battered Woman Syndrome have on children? An authoritative study states that children who witness domestic violence but at not battered themselves show behavioral and emotional problems similar to those experienced by physically abused children and may also suffer from Post ...
Views: 3154 - Battered Woman Syndrome: What are the Characteristics? - by Submitted on Jun 23, 2010 from Su EricksenAccording to Dr. Lenore E. Walker, a prominent expert on battered women, a woman must experience at least two complete battering cycles before she can be labeled a “battered woman”. The cycle has three phases. First the tension-building phase, followed by the explosion or acute battering ...
Views: 7284(1 vote) - Abusive Spouse: Are There Two Kinds of Batterers? - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.They say victims of domestic abuse come in all shapes and sizes, yet have some very distinct commonalities characteristic of being in an abusive relationship. Abusive spouses, on the other hand, come in two very distinct breeds. What are they? Two Kinds of Batterers: There are those that ...
Views: 1481 - Domestic Violence: An Unnecessary Epidemic - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2009 from Vikki ZieglerPeople often think that they cannot leave a violent relationship for many reasons, not the least of which is retribution. However, the truth is that if you stay in a violent relationship you may never get out. To have the courage to stop the violence and create an exit strategy appears to be the ...
Views: 1316 - Signs of an Abusive Relationship - 6 Personal Questions that Can Help You See Partner Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 02, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.It's no secret that we see what we project. And when it comes to abuse, doing so can have repercussions for all of us. Prior abuse in one's life can set the stage for misinterpretations of our adult partner's actions, intentions, feelings and relationship to us. Now this doesn't mean that when ...
Views: 925 - Emotional Abuse Characteristics: 5 Significant Subtle Signs - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Lack of "emotional safety" is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being. When you have emotional safety, it's palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it's missing, you ...
Views: 7699 - Preventing Sexual Assault - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2009 from Kerry SauveRecently there was a very violent abduction/sexual assault in our city. While this is not surprising in a major city anywhere in North America, it is however sad that we rarely think twice about the impact this type of crime has on the victim and society after the headlines fade. I would like to ...
Views: 1385 - The Wounded Lamb - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2009 from Biancia TateWhen one is abused, they are misused by that which has abused them. They are not treated with the respect and honor they deserve but, instead, are humiliated, disgraced, and depersonalized by one that they loved and trusted with the sacred things in their lives. One of those sacred things or ...
Views: 1421 - Domestic Violence Recovery – Fear is a Choice and Has a Consequence - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If you chose fear, then the object of your fear is scary. If you chose not to fear, the object is neutral. Fear is a choice. And the choice you make will determine how you see the other person, thing or situation AND how you experience yourself relative to that person…how you experience ...
Views: 1163 - Six Life Lessons from your Dad - How to choose your Friends and be a Good Friend yourself - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2009 from Rod ZimmermanLetter to my children, just before the start of their college year A father reflects upon his first 50 years in a letter to his college age children about how to wisely choose their friends. It started as private, family email. But the children realized the potential of this Life Lessons ...
Views: 2263(1 vote) - Taking the Bully by the Horns - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2009 from SelfGrowth.com ArticlesBullies are people we deal with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They’re our coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, strangers, and, yes, even family and friends slip on their bully masks from time to time. (Some more than others!) No matter who, where, or why, bullies can make you feel miserable and ...
Views: 1218(2 votes) - Healing, Forgiving, and Overcoming Abuse - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2009 from SelfGrowth.com ArticlesAt some point in every abuse survivor’s healing journey, he or she must face the question of forgiveness. Are there some abuses too atrocious to forgive? Is it possible, or even healthy, to forgive someone who has never asked to be forgiven, someone who has never acknowledged any wrongdoing, and ...
Views: 1106 - Emotionally Abusive Relationship - 5 Signs You’re Entering into an Emotionally Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Lack of emotional safety is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being. When you have emotional safety, it’s palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it’s missing, you ...
Views: 1935 - Domestic Violence and the Parental Alienation Syndrome - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.In marriages in which there is no domestic abuse and parental alienation upon divorce, it is more often the woman who is the alienating parent. Whereas in marriages in which there is domestic abuse, the victimized partner is in most cases the alienated parent. Why these trends? PAS in ...
Views: 1108 - Healing from Emotional Abuse: The Memory is in the Muscle - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The memory is in the muscle. We hear people vividly taste remnants of the feelings surrounding old trauma when faced with a trigger of the context in which that original trauma was experienced. It’s truly as though the memory is in the muscle. We know this phenomenon to be characteristic of ...
Views: 1524 - Domestic Abuse: Chris Brown Incident Sparks Influx of Inquiries - by Every nine seconds, a woman in the U.S. is a victim of dating violence. Since the arrest of singer Chris Brown in the alleged beating of girlfriend Rihanna, the issue of dating violence is again in the spotlight.
DontDateHimGirl.com, a popular dating and relationship advice portal, teaches ...
Views: 1140 - Plato's Cave - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2009 from Beau HermesIn the book The Republic, Plato tells the story of prisoners of war that were held captive in a cave for such a long period of time, they could not remember their lives before their captivity. These men were forced to face the back of the cave wall for decades, while a fire burned behind them ...
Views: 1946 - The Role and Impact of Verbal Abuse in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Intimate partner violence is best avoided by understanding emotional verbal abuse and the warning signs of an abusive relationship. In an effort to help educate people and increase awareness of verbal abuse, Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviews Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. Kate Carlson: Throughout the ...
Views: 1479 - Lack of Emotional Safety as a Sign of an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Emotional safety is vague when it isn’t there, and it’s ever so palatable when it is. What is being emotionally safe? And how does this serve as an indicator...an internal red flag of a potentially destructive relationship. What is emotional safety? Emotionally safe is a feeling ...
Views: 1633 - Affluent Spousal Abuse - Battered Queens: When the Rich Are Entangled in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 07, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Common thinking is that domestic violence is a misfortune that befalls the lower class. We hear about them more, we see more of them, we have public services to care for their needs...but that doesn’t make them in the majority when it comes to domestic abuse. I would venture to say that ...
Views: 1197 - Domestic Violence: 'Awareness' Month Doesn't Stop Domestic Violence - by Lynn Melville, author of 'Breaking Free from Boomerang Love', believes that Domestic Violence 'Awareness' Month should be re-named Domestic Violence 'Prevention' Month. "Being 'aware' of domestic violence doesn't help," Melville says. "We need to work to 'prevent' it."
But how do we know that a ...
Views: 1134 - Beyond Pornography: Protecting Our Kids from Internet Dangers - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2009 from Veronika LazabalIt's a telling statistic: the fastest growing internet site in 2007 was a pornography portal. With computer technology inextricably woven into the daily lives of every member of our families, it can be difficult for parents to keep their teens away from adult websites. The average age at which a ...
Views: 1081 - Domestic Violence Prevention is the Cure - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.There are as many variations on this story as there are people living it. Yet there are a few common themes that present in most renditions of established intimate partner violence. These are: a) There may very well be a price when you leave. b) Getting to that point will likely involve a lot ...
Views: 1031 - Healing From the Ravages of Sexual Abuse - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2009 from Lori FalkSexual abuse runs rampant in today’s society, and it's effects can be devastating. Recent statistics show that 25% of all young women, and 20% of all young men, are sexually abused by the age of 18. And this, they say, only represents the reported/documented incidences. While you may not ...
Views: 1361 - Tips for Staying Sober During the Holidays - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2009 from Brian NicolettiThe holidays are just around the corner, and for many, that means stress and additional pressures from family and friends, which can lead to alcohol consumption as a coping mechanism. However, for some individuals, it means avoiding the temptation of alcohol altogether. The New York State ...
Views: 1416 - Shelters Don't Help the Real Victims of Domestic Battery - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2009 from Brian NicolettiThe nation's 1,200 abuse shelters are filled with homeless persons and substance abusers, making it hard for true victims of domestic battery to get the help they need, reveals a report released today. The report is issued by RADAR Services, a group of men and women working to improve the ...
Views: 1157 - Obstacles to Leaving an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 26, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We hear a lot about leaving an abusive relationship. Those on the outside say you must. Those on the inside know they ultimately will. And those responsible for the abuse say you can’t, shouldn’t and better not or else! What are the real obstacles to leaving an abusive ...
Views: 1288 - The Link Between Alcoholism and Genetics - by Submitted on Jan 26, 2009 from Scott MoagaThe link between alcoholism and genetics is still being explored and there remains much to be learned. It has long been the belief that if you have alcoholic parents you have a much greater chance of becoming an alcoholic yourself. However, the role of genetics in this puzzle is still being ...
Views: 1252 - 7 Tips to Help Your Loved One in an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We often hear friend’s and family members of domestic abuse victims express frustration over their loved one’s choosing to remain in their abusive relationships. This is understandable. Question is how can they help the abused? In working with families over the years, I find the ...
Views: 912 - Domestic Abuse and Family - The Use of Your Immediate Family to Carry Out Your Abusive Partner's Agenda - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.To add insult to injury, confusion to the complicated, mystery to the already oozing drama is the use of your own family to carry out your abusive partner’s agenda. Why? Whose Family Is My Family? If you’re perplexed as to why your parents are suddenly supporting your ...
Views: 801 - Domestic Violence Divorce: Legal Psychiatric Rape - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When a victim leaves a battering relationship and moves out OR speaks out, is she safe? Not necessarily so. Statistics show she is more often at greater risk after she leaves. Far too often we hear about battered women falling through the cracks of the system on their way out of an abusive ...
Views: 877 - Truth, Like Surgery - by Submitted on Jan 12, 2009 from Catie HayesIt has been my experience that even when we feel the most alone, the most vulnerable or the most enraged, guidance and support surrounds us, if we only take time to notice. A huge ice storm hit just before Christmas. Branches laden with ice brought down wires and utility poles, not to mention ...
Views: 1400 - ***8 Year Old Child Killer: Criminal, Mentally Ill, or Trauma Victim? - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2009 from Kathy SeifertThe headlines read: Eight Year-Old Kills Father and a Boarder. Was this tragedy preventable? If it is proven that the known causes of youth violence were there, it was entirely preventable. This is worse than a tragedy and it must be fixed. Experts agree that most youth who become violent share ...
Views: 1886 - Healing from Emotional Abuse: Overcoming Obstacles and Obtaining Benefits from Meditation - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.I hear people claim they can’t meditate and so they opt for some other form of relaxation or marshal art. My hunch is they can meditate if and when they get out of their way. Meditation is fundamentally not a doing activity, though there is a discipline of routine and mechanics involved. ...
Views: 1164 - How to Break the Cycle of Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.A common question people ask is what are some practical ways to break the cycle of abuse? First is identifying the syndrome It is essential that you have identified the cluster of symptoms that defines domestic violence and understand how it lives in your life. Giving it a name is number ...
Views: 1440 - Abusive Relationships - Why Doesn't She Just Leave, for Crying Out Loud! - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Almost as common as the question why doesn’t she just leave are the answers. So why do people continue to ask? I suspect it is because a victim’s staying in an abusive relationship is truly perplexing looking from the outside in. Here are 3 clear explanations for why she ...
Views: 848