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- Domestic Abuse Victims - 5 Tell-Tale Signs That You’re Still Wearing “The Abused” Hat - by Submitted on May 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic abuse victims heal and transform themselves at different rates. You can tell when their recovery process remains in progress, yet to be completed. And if you are a domestic violence survivor, you know when you’re still wearing that “I’m a Victim” hat. Here are some tell-tale signs that ...
Views: 1480 - Domestic Violence Resources – Understanding Privileged Communication and Witness Testimony - by Submitted on May 18, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Privileged communication and expert witness testimony are two areas that battered women and abused men may come to know in their divorce proceedings. However, the way in which these two interact is not always clear. And unfortunately for some the consequences pose a significant loss. This ...
Views: 1107 - Abused Men – When Women Batter Men, What Do Men Do? - by Submitted on May 13, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Many women say they where glad when their partners hit them, because in that moment the light went “on” and they knew exactly what they were dealing with: domestic abuse, intimate partner violence. But for abused men, the physical abuse doesn’t always turn the light “on.” More often it sends ...
Views: 1468 - A Classification of Abusive Behaviors - by Submitted on May 13, 2009 from Sam VakninAbusive conduct is not a uniform, homogeneous phenomenon. It stems and emanates from multiples sources and manifests in a myriad ways. Following are a few useful distinctions which pertain to abuse and could serve as organizing, taxonomical principles (dimensional typologies) in a kind of ...
Views: 2220 - Domestic Abuse Counseling and Psychotherapy in the Age of Internet Technology - by Submitted on May 12, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.I can remember twenty years ago having an elitist attitude about how I found my doctors. I only saw a doctor by referral. I was not the kind of person to find a doctor in the yellow pages. And I was accustomed to patients seeking me out through referral. Roughly 90% of my patients came to me ...
Views: 1290 - Freedom from Self-Harm: Urge Surfing - A Mindfulness Skill to Cope with Urges - by Submitted on May 11, 2009 from New Harbinger PublicationsFind a quiet place where you will be relatively free from distractions and unlikely to be bothered by anyone. Sit in a comfortable position. Write down how strong your urge is on a scale from 0 (no urge at all) to 10 (the strongest urge you’ve ever had). Then, write down how much you feel as if ...
Views: 6727 - Freedom from Self-Harm: Important Steps When You’re Seeking Help - by Submitted on May 11, 2009 from New Harbinger PublicationsHopefully, you now have a better idea of where to find information on self-harm, the types of resources that are out there, and some of the treatments for self-harm. Below, we turn our attention to the specific ways in which you can go about finding help in your area, as well as some important ...
Views: 2339 - Freedom from Self-Harm: Specific Types of Psychological Treatments for Self-Harm - by Submitted on May 11, 2009 from New Harbinger PublicationsSeveral different types of treatment may be helpful for self-harm, including the following: + Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) CBT helps people learn new skills for managing their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. CBT is often a fairly structured treatment, with a clear agenda for each ...
Views: 2770 - The Statistics on Child Abuse Are in and They Prove Success is Possible After Tough Times - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2009 from Adam ApplesonIt's 2009 and I recently saw a report on MSNBC about how the tough economic situation in the United States is contributing to a higher incidence of child abuse. You can find bad news all over the Internet. The statistics on child abuse show a little under a million children are victims of ...
Views: 5473 - Victimization and Manipulation - 3 Tips for Satisfying Your Needs After the Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on May 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We know that domestic abuse survivors endure the tremendous pressure of their controlling partners. And they become accustomed to manipulation as a means to fulfill one’s personal needs. It’s no wonder that manipulation becomes a method of choice when it comes to meeting their own individual ...
Views: 1201 - Domestic Violence Divorce - 2 Sure Ways to Silence You and Your Victimization - by Submitted on May 07, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Being a domestic violence survivor is quite a job, but navigating the system to secure your safety can feel like a life sentence. You expect the system to “protect” you and your children. And when you see your case and your cause given lip service over actual remedy-providing service, you ...
Views: 1139 - Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on May 06, 2009 from Menno SpijkstraA newfound love is always exhilarating. This exhilaration always causes one to be blinded to the very obvious indicators and should be flashing red lights, warning a person of a potentially catastrophic relationship. Often, if the abuse has been inflicted during dating, it is always possible to ...
Views: 1059 - Verbal Abuse Signs & Help – Understanding and Thriving beyond Verbal Abuse in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on May 02, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Verbal abuse, as well as emotional abuse, result in wounds and scars deep within. In the following interview we look at the impact upon the victim and offer recommendations for her surviving and thriving beyond the battering. The following is part two of an interview with Kate Carlson, OTR/L ...
Views: 1559 - Child Abuse Survivors - Learn How to Heal from the Messages of Family Shame - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2009 from Adam ApplesonIf you experienced child abuse, you've likely had the messages of family shame ingrained into the depths of your being. Do you remember hearing the following types of messages? Message #1: "You won't amount to much." Message #2: "I'm bending over backwards raising you kids. There's so ...
Views: 2396 - Sexual Addiction: Are You a Sex Addict? Part 2 - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2009 from Peggy FergusonSexual addiction is a dysfunctional pattern of compulsive sexual behavior that continues even after the addict knows that it is causing major problems in their life. The sex addicts has a compulsion to engage in the problem behavior despite the fact that it has become emotionally dissatisfying ...
Views: 1996(1 vote) - Sexual Addiction: A Brief Description, Part 1 - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2009 from Peggy FergusonIf you see yourself in this brief description of sexual addiction, it can be the beginning of achieving recovery and getting your life back. The hope is that there is recovery, that it is possible. "The journey of a thousand miles begins by taking the initial step". The good news is that you ...
Views: 2697(1 vote) - Sexual Addiction: Defining Recovery From Sexual Addiction - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2009 from Peggy FergusonRecovery from sexual addiction is slightly different than recovery from alcohol and other (AOD) addiction. With chemical dependency recovery, the goal is to abstain from all mood altering drugs. The primary goal from sexual addiction is not abstinence from sex, but the development of the ability ...
Views: 3217 - Family Court Violence - When Psychiatry and Law Serve as the Batterer’s Club - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Institutionalizing battered women in psychiatric hospitals is as old as prostitution. It’s an effective way to silence and discredit them. In My Own Practice I remember a case over 20 years ago in my own practice of a patient referred by a social worker for a stress-related neuromuscular ...
Views: 1019 - Violence in Intimate Relationships - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2009 from Kim OlverAre you in an intimate relationship where violence is a part of your exchange? Does one or the other of you lash out physically toward the other? Do you want it to stop? There is lots of information out there about intimate partner violence. Just google the term and today there were 4,680,000 ...
Views: 1536 - Family Court Violence and Crazy-Making Maneuvers - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If I tell you that you are “crazy” and threaten to punish you because of what I have said, a part of you begins to question that maybe what I have alleged is true. Crazy-Making from the Outside In Then, if I tell someone in authority that you are “crazy” and consequently they set forth to ...
Views: 1035 - Saga of a Firetender - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2009 from Russ Reina, a firetender (Healing Arts)Not terribly long ago, I came to the conclusion that my life's work is all about seeking the healing arts wherever they are found. The overwhelming thing about the concept was that I found them everywhere! All of the individual paths that I had thought I had been on in my life were just one big ...
Views: 1016 - Serenity and Expectations - Intimately Interrelated - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2011 from Robert Burney"I spent most of my life doing the Serenity prayer backwards, that is, trying to change the external things over which I had no control - other people and life events mostly - and taking no responsibility (except shaming and blaming myself) for my own internal process - over which I can have ...
Views: 2254 - *** How to Avoid the Top Relationship Dangers of Minimizing Harmful Behavior - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Dr. LeslieBeth (LB) Wish*Sylvia’s husband had a rule: If you can’t be home right after work, you had to call. When she rushed a co-worker to the hospital, in the confusion, Sylvia called about thirty minutes after she was due home. When she did phone home, he accused her of cheating on her and lying. The moment she ...
Views: 4557(1 vote) - You Ain't Broke - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Lola JonesThat's a down home Texas way to comment on how personal/spiritual growth and religion so often centers around "healing" or "fixing" or redeeming your bad, broken self. You ain't sick, bad, or broke. We may stand to learn to shift perspectives and flow our energy more fluidly. We may need to ...
Views: 1292 - Love, Loss, Trauma, and Community - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Gudrun FrerichsOne characteristic of human societies is that people come together and seek closeness with others in the face of traumatic experiences. "Emotional attachment is probably the primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness; it is essential for biological survival in ...
Views: 1581 - Coping With The Uncopable: The Coat - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Gudrun FrerichsCoping strategies are designed to keep the person alive and functioning. Some people call these strategies defense mechanisms or avoidance - some might even go as far as talking about denial. That's all very judgmental and I personally prefer coping strategies. Why you may ask? Because these ...
Views: 1839 - How To Have A Happy Childhood After All - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Gudrun FrerichsOne of my favourite sayings is "It's never too late to have a happy childhood". This is particularly true for survivors of sexual abuse. When you are a survivor and you struggle to function in daily life, you missed out on the vital ingredients to a happy childhood: emotional support, care, ...
Views: 1562 - How to Get Over Childhood Stress - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Gudrun FrerichsIt has been clear for some time that childhood experiences become part of a child's neurological physiology and over time, through re-enforcement and repetition form aspects of its personality structure. The task of recovery is to stop the process of repetition and re-enforcement of the unwanted ...
Views: 2459 - The Impact of Childhood Stress - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Gudrun FrerichsI have often been asked by colleagues why I use neuro-biological instead of psychological concepts to explain developmental processes. My answer is always that neuro-biological concepts can be 'seen' on MRI scans and we become more understanding of how our brain works. I find that exciting. So ...
Views: 1428 - Psychological Legal Abuse – Mental Illness by Psychological and Mental Abuse - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The use of psychology or psychiatry to contain and control a family member (or close friend) is almost as old as psychiatry itself. Not well publicized, however a practice that dates back decades. From time to time, you may see a person wearing a psychiatric diagnosis that was inspired by the ...
Views: 1107 - ALCOHOLISM AND PRESCRIPTION DRUGS - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Albert GauldenThere was an article on the Internet today (April 15, 2009) that said a new drug, naltrexone will soon replace the need for alcohol rehab because this “miracle” med takes away the craving for alcohol. No more need for 12 steps, no meetings, no sponsor and for goodness sake, you never ever have ...
Views: 1115 - From Hell to Happiness: Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2009 from Marilyn RedmondI found the right man for me. We could communicate into all hours of the night. He sat behind me in the band rehearsals in college. His clarinet and my flute playing on stage kept us attending the same functions and classes. Meeting at a dance the first night of school made me aware he was a ...
Views: 2472 - Just P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens) - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2009 from Niama WilliamsPerhaps I push too often, push too hard, am too unyielding with myself. Perhaps it is that I always look for the fault within first, despite my judgmental nature. Perhaps it is that I am harshest with the woman I see too rarely in the mirror, preferring the representative green reflection of ...
Views: 4033 - Victims Are Challenged to Let Go of Anger - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2009 from Deb BrownIf you walk down any crowded city street, you will unfortunately be walking among many victims of crimes. You will also be walking among many victims of perfectly legal but devastating attacks – from verbally abusive lovers, from backstabbing co-workers, from overly critical parents, from ...
Views: 1058 - Self Acceptance and Freedom from Guilt - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2009 from Laura De Giorgio"There is a criterion by which you can judge whether the thoughts you are thinking and the things you are doing are right for you. The criterion is: Have they brought you inner peace?" -Peace Pilgrim We come into this world freely expressing ourselves, and then slowly but ...
Views: 3619 - Legal Domestic Violence - 3 Secrets of Divorce Lawyer’s Seduction Strategy with Battered Women - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Oftentimes battered women leave abusers only to find out that they are in an abusive relationship with their own divorce lawyer. And unfortunately, many spend as long awakening to this reality as they did admitting the abuse they endured by their former intimate partner. Here are some seduction ...
Views: 971 - Spousal Emotional Abuse - 3 Deadly Mistakes in Hiding from Verbal Abuse in Marriage - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Verbal abuse in marriage makes for a toxic home. You feel it in the air, smell it in your living space, see its brutal impact on yourself as well as on little ones dependent upon you. You know this from the core of your being, yet when victimized by verbal abuse in marriage, there is a tendency ...
Views: 1478 - Interactional Relationship Abuse VS Intimate Partner Violence: 3 Distinguishing Characteristics - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We hear a lot about the “he said, she said” when it comes to relationship violence. The challenge for advocates and interventionists is to accurately ascertain, not only “who did what” but even more revealing, what are the underlying dynamics inspiring the altercations between the ...
Views: 1216 - 3 Keys to Surviving Verbal and Emotional Abuse - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.You are not his/her words, though it doesn’t feel that way when you are being abused. On a very deep level, you believe those words of disregard, disapproval, disrespect…even the ones that are absolutely foul. Yet, in a more surface way, you claim not to buy that trash. You know those are just ...
Views: 3847 - Abused Women & Battered Men: 3 Secrets to Getting Out and Staying Out of the Doghouse - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Habits are habitual, aren’t they? This is so true for the “being battered” habit. It is as though you come to expect punishment not only when in his/her presence, but also long after your abusive partner is out of the room, out of your house or even out of your life. If you are a survivor of ...
Views: 1279 - *** 6 Mass Murders Take 47 Lives in 30 Days - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2009 from Kathy SeifertForty-seven people were killed in mass murders in the US in less than 30 days this year. Everyone is looking for reasons and to make sense of these tragic events because we all cope better with catastrophic events if we can make some sense of them or find safety for ourselves and our loved ...
Views: 1326 - Domestic Violence Awareness – Risks, Causes and Signs of Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic violence is best known before it comes knocking at your door. College World Reporter Donell Edwards interviews domestic abuse consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. to help educate young college women about domestic violence. 1) DONELL EDWARDS: In recent weeks, the alleged attack of ...
Views: 1084 - Separating from an Abusive Partner - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2009 from Gary DirenfeldIf you are in an abusive relationship and are seeking to separate or divorce from your partner, your safety may be at risk and your ability to achieve a reasonable separation agreement may be compromised. Abusive relationships are characterized by one party seeking power and control over the ...
Views: 1353 - When it’s Good, it’s Very Good… - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2009 from Gary DirenfeldSome people are in abusive relationships. They say they stay because when it’s good, it’s very good. Unfortunately, when it’s bad, it is also very bad. So, some people weigh the good against the bad and it seems to come out even. Not so. Abusive relationships must be assessed when under duress. ...
Views: 1295 - Tall, Dark and Dangerous - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2010 from Susan GreenI remember the first time I saw him. I had just turned 18 and was at my first, yes my first, boy girl party. He was tall dark and very handsome and he oozed confidence. I was shy and a bit of a wallflower, but he wandered over and asked me my name. From that day on we would be inseparable. My ...
Views: 2380(1 vote) - Verbal Abuse in Marriage – 3 Insights That Will Save You in the Face of Verbal Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Verbal abuse is toxic, especially when you are on the receiving end. It can wear you down, burn you out, and literally change the way you think and feel about yourself. But it doesn’t have to... Here are some insights that will help you hold your own in the face of verbal abuse. 1) Know that ...
Views: 1237 - Family Court Violence – When Mommy Is Punishment and Children Are Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When domestic violence is before the court, fortified with finance and politics, the net result is the protective parent is about punishment and the children are about abuse. Sound strange? If you’re living it, the strange nightmare while twisted is ever so true. Far too often when domestic ...
Views: 1193 - Healing from Emotional Abuse – The Mind-Emotion-Body Connection in Healing for Emotional Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The mind-emotion-body connection is something some of us take for granted, while others remain in awe. I do both. Now here is a little psychological insight that will open doors for your recovery from psychological, mental and emotional abuse. Go ahead and get your coffee or herbal tea ...
Views: 1162 - Abusive Relationships - 3 Deadly Mistakes in Assuming Responsibility for the Battering Behavior - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We hear it all the time: “You’re not responsible for your abuser’s battering behavior.” Yet, victims of domestic abuse spend an inordinate amount of time trying to alter this behavior. Fix it. Change it. Account for it. Often, and usually unknowingly, this invites three deadly mistakes victims ...
Views: 1547 - When Parents Control - 3 Keys to Breaking Free from Parental Control - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.A controlling parent can have as much a crippling effect on an adult child as on an intimate partner. And I’m sure you know why. But help for that adult child is touch and go. There are no shelters for them, yet they have many of the same financial issues as battered women. If they haven’t ...
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