Lack of emotional safety is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being.

When you have emotional safety, it’s palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it’s missing, you may feel its loss. Or, you may simply know of it not being there by the presence of these five glaring signs.

1) Not honoring your privacy.
If something is in a drawer, it’s in a drawer out from public display. Someone having no business in that drawer may be drawn to explore its contents. Beware of the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship.

2) Not respecting your boundaries.
If you say “no,” will it be the end of discussion or beginning of a negotiation? When “no” means maybe, and becomes a challenge to convert into a “yes,” beware of emotional abuse!

3) Not appreciating your experience and or your feelings.
If your inner world is not noticed, nor factored into decisions involving both of you, beware of this non-empathic partner.

4) Not being willing to have mutual involvement in your interests.
Mutual involvement doesn’t mean equal time doing your interests verses theirs. Rather, it is reciprocal interest in that which interests you.

5) Not honoring you for who and what you are.
Taking you in from where you are versus intentionally seeking to alter who and what you are to suit one’s own preferences is the most glaring of these signs.

While each one of these undermines emotional safety, in combination they make it impossible. If you encounter this cluster of signs, you are probably looking at an emotionally abusive relationship.

Author's Bio: 

For more information about recognizing and ending emotional and verbal abuse, see Emotional Verbal Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps individuals and families recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com

©2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Abuse Prevention and Intervention