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Marriage Coaching Articles
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- Mirrors and Teachers - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2014 from Tina TessinaThere are people I love who are easy to be around, and others I love who are more difficult for me. It’s not that they’re bad people, others get along with them fine, and, actually, so do I. It’s just that I have to work a little bit more to understand what they mean, to ...
Views: 1216 - An Introduction to Retroactive Jealousy - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2014 from Rick DaviesJealousy can be one of the most and disruptive and harmful of emotions. Often jealousy in relationships is directed at the present or the future. It is rooted in a fear of future loss - fear that one may lose their partner to something that is happening currently, or might happen in the ...
Views: 4183(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I would like to get out of this anxiety - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a 70-yr old man who has been married more than forty years. I read your article "Autonomy and Dependency" I feel like I've been in a codependency relationship the last fifteen years and havedeveloped anxiety & depression. My wife is a ...
Views: 1450 - Three Questions to Answer in Measuring the Success of Your Relationship - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2014 from William CottringerThree Questions to Answer in Measuring the Success of Your Relationship By Bill Cottringer “Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.” ~James Dobson. A writing colleague and dear friend of mine who is ...
Views: 1507 - Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing—where one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the ...
Views: 1581 - The Genius Of Courageous Loving - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2014 from Valerie LipsteinThere is a genius to courageous loving because we have to access something we've forgotten and make it a real part of our lives again. It exists in each and every one of us yet it takes courage to access it. We can only access it when we become aware and we are ready for it. I believe, we are ...
Views: 1249 - Dear Dr. Romance: At first I was hurt, but now I'm irritated. - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I do not like my job, I have two more classes before I complete my masters in HR to move to a better position and recently passed the PHR certification. I was talking with my boyfriend about the environment at the company and how they are always threatening ...
Views: 1348 - Technology and Love - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaTechnology can have a big impact on relationships. In my counseling office, I see many couples who are struggling over Internet and social media issues. The ability to work at home via computer and smart phone can mean arguing about how work spills over and absorbs relationship time. Secrets ...
Views: 1786 - HELP-I’m so overscheduled there is no “US” time! - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Valerie LipsteinHave you ever found yourself thinking about your crazy schedule and experiencing a time crunch that impacts the quality time spent on your relationship? Balancing work and family with couple time, is a major concern that most couples express. You may see yourself in part in the following ...
Views: 1278 - Dear Dr. Romance: I rescued my mother from the big bad wolf, my father - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your article about RESCUING: "Avoiding the Drama Triangle". I have been rescuing my mother from the big bad wolf my father. He would beat my mother, beat me, and beat my sister. I decided to rescue her. She decided for me to rescue her from her ...
Views: 1585 - The Wedding Photographers Guide to having the Perfect Wedding Day - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2014 from Mark VillarosaIs your special day just around the corner? If so, stress levels are probably high and you are feeling anxious about it. Though the perfect wedding requires a lot of preparation, you should learn how to relax and have a good time. Try the following checklist to get organised during your special ...
Views: 1372(1 vote) - Eight Ways to Safeguard Your Marriage - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2014 from Mari LylesIn this 21st century whirlwind age of anything goes dating and mating, relationships stand a better than average chance of being torpedoed, due to inadequate care and attention. Below are eight ways to shore up your relationship and safeguard against any cracks and crevices that might ...
Views: 1094 - Dr. Romance on Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaAs a Psychologist, Dr. Romance knows that when we're surrounded by images of violence, it becomes "normalized" and we stop seeing it as unusual. Anyone who watches the news is becoming aware that we live in a violent society: According to the Peace Alliance: • ...
Views: 2282 - Rocky Marriage? 6 Tips to Smooth Your Relations - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2014 from Anica OaksMaintaining long-term relationships can be a complex undertaking that requires significant time and attention. When things begin to go wrong, partners can take proactive steps to get the relationship back on track. These efforts can often make the difference between strengthening the partnership ...
Views: 1193 - Dear Dr. Romance: I realize that jealousy may be the main culprit - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance Your web-site impressed me and prompted this note, and I'd appreciate your thoughts.I am a reasonably well-educated individual which includes a couple of degrees in psychology and have been quite successful in my career. My wife who is also well-educated and our ...
Views: 1427 - Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaWant to make sure your relationship is a success? Here are ten ways to bring the sparkle back and keep it going. Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage 1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other --about your frustrations, about sex, about anger, about disappointment, ...
Views: 1317(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I think I have a tendency to lose myself in a relationship - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was wondering if I could ask you for some advice. I'm feeling so troubled. I got divorced a few years ago. Since then, I became involved with a man more than ten years older than me. I got a work assignment out of town, and he was adamant about keeping a ...
Views: 1635 - How To Create A Wedding Ceremony - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaMany couples are moved to write their own wedding ceremony: either because they aren’t comfortable with the traditional ones, or they don’t belong to a tradition that has a ceremony, or they just want to create something unique that expresses their love and commitment. To help you ...
Views: 1731(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: She is verbally abusive to me - by Submitted on May 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a retired police officer who found his wife sneaking around with another man 3 years ago. We have 3 kids. I cook and clean and up all night doing laundry 3 to 4 nights a week. I work two jobs to support my kids and family. I love my wife and forgave ...
Views: 1449 - Love and Compatibility based on the Zodiac signs - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2019 from Alvin YapIn Chinese Astrology known as Four Pillars of Destiny, a person’s birth chart or Ba Zi is governed by four pillars representing the energies we are infused with at the time of our birth. These pillars are embedded with our destiny codes which comprises the five elements of the universe i.e. ...
Views: 3663 - ***Is Your Partner Your Life Partner? - by Submitted on May 09, 2014 from Emma ViglucciHonor your Self. What does that mean? In my book, it means getting in touch with our Core, True, Authentic Self, our Soul, and operating from it in all we do. This means being in connection with our Self, knowing our Self. Most of the time we are in a fog and cacophony of daily minutiae, ...
Views: 1917 - Dear Dr. Romance: Though we slept together while his wife was away, I regretted it - by Submitted on May 08, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a woman in my mid-twenties from India and working in the middle east in a professional job. I had a brief arranged marriage and am now getting divorced. One of my business clients, who is an arab and over forty has been married for many years but claims his ...
Views: 1367 - Financial or Emotional Crisis? Get Security Today! - by Submitted on May 07, 2014 from Emma ViglucciMoney. Money is a hot topic in many relationships as there are intense emotions attached to money as well as a range of meaning around it. Partners have different ideas about the importance of money, what it means to them, its purpose, its role, how to manage it, and even how to earn it! Couples ...
Views: 1835 - The Trap of Mediocrity - by Submitted on May 01, 2014 from Valerie LipsteinHave you ever found yourself doing the same things day after day and you begin to wonder, “Is this all there is to my life?” If you remember the movie, Groundhog Day, you get the picture. Also known as living in the comfort zone, this place can be seductive for all of us. We are often very ...
Views: 1831 - Managing Anger in Your Relationship… - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2014 from Emma ViglucciAnger is a poison in our relationship when it is misunderstood and unleashed. It gets in the way of understanding, connectedness, intimacy, love, and satisfaction in our relationship. Anger in its explosive or simmering manifestation, is a sign that something is wrong when it is prevalent. This ...
Views: 1793 - What Improv Theatre Taught Me About “Yes, and…” - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2014 from Noelle NelsonYou’re planning your next vacation. Well, your only vacation this year, which is a pretty big deal because you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse haven’t had one in, oh, let’s see - quite a while. It should be a delightful discussion, after all, you’re talking about something you both want and ...
Views: 1204 - Opposites Attract, But They May Not Last, Unless… - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2014 from Michael BroderMost couples can name several ways in which they’re opposites: neatness versus sloppiness; extroversion versus introversion; being high-strung versus laid-back preferring city versus country living, etc. And I'm sure you have something in mind that's specific to you. It’s true that quite often ...
Views: 1655 - Could this describe your partner? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2014 from Rhonda RabowHi everyone and welcome new members Recently I started seeing more and more couples with more extreme challenges than the usual litany of problems. I noticed that for some, communication issues were just the tip of the iceberg of the list of frustrations and resentments expressed by some ...
Views: 1620 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am a married man infatuated with a coworker half my age - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a happily married man in my mid-forties with 2 small kids who has become overwhelmingly infatuated with a 22 year old co-worker. She is friendly but certainly not coquettish and there is no suggestion she reciprocates. I have no intention of trying to pursue ...
Views: 7659 - Prevent Blows to Your Relationship! - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2014 from Emma ViglucciMost relationships have to endure a history of trauma experienced by one or both partners and a current trauma(s). Traumas include abandonment, neglect, abuse, rejection, control, accidents, assaults/attacks, catastrophes, infidelity, infertility, loss, relocation, birthing and becoming ...
Views: 1636 - Are You Up for Unconditional Love? - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2014 from Emma ViglucciI often find that couples hold a fairy tale expectation of happily ever after, for which I chide them. I dismiss this notion not because it seems unrealistic, but because couples go about creating their fairy tale all wrong. For you see, “happy endings” are possible… This is called unconditional ...
Views: 1851 - Are You Changing Enough? - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2014 from Emma ViglucciIt’s very interesting to me to watch couples struggle and go around and around… I find that this happens with the ones where partners refuse to take ownership of their own contribution to their relationship’s status quo and are fixated with having their partner change… These are the partners ...
Views: 1694 - Betrayal – Loving and Trusting Afterwards. - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2014 from Emma ViglucciIt is very painful to experience betrayal in our relationships. I am primarily referring to betrayal by loved ones. This is the most painful betrayal. Betrayal may happen in many different forms and can be experienced by anyone at anytime during their life time Betrayal might take place in ...
Views: 1710 - Dr. Romance on Bad Marital habits - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance sees many clients who are having marital problems because of the following bad habits. If you find yourself doing any of these things, consider changing your behavior or getting counseling. 1) You place social media above real communication; This can be a big problem, ...
Views: 1704 - When Do You Get On Your Partner’s Nerves? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2014 from Emma ViglucciDo you know when you get on your partner’s nerves? There is a general underlying theme to the complaints couples usually share and that is that their partner is being egocentric. Egocentrism gets in the way of witnessing our partner’s beauty, gifts and contributions. It keeps us trapped in our ...
Views: 1730(1 vote) - Passion - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2014 from Dr. Anne BrownThere is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Aristotle OK we all know this right? And yet how many of us enter into the most intimate relationship with our partners “saying nothing.” For those who still can’t discuss sex, it is time to lift that veil. ...
Views: 1065(1 vote) - How to Avoid Financial Infidelity - by Submitted on Apr 07, 2014 from Tina TessinaThe most valuable thing in a long-term stable relationship is having a partnership, and most new couples don’t realize that money is a major factor in marital happiness. Money is one of the biggest generators of problems, arguments, and resentment in long-term relationships. Couples argue ...
Views: 1423 - It Does Matter! - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2014 from Valerie LipsteinBusiness Success & Intimate Relationships Are you an entrepreneur or small business owner? If so, do you realize how much your intimate/primary relationship matters to your business success? Really think about this for a moment. If there is upset in our primary relationship what often ...
Views: 1143 - Dear Dr. Romance: I was reduced to a house maid - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I fell in love and married a man from another city. We have been married for three years. I livedwith his family, which included his parents and his three younger sisters, plus children. In my eastern culture, we mostly live with our inlaws. My mother in law's ...
Views: 1596 - Guidelines for Being Better Understood - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2014 from Tina Tessina1. Seek first to understand. If you know your partner's frame of reference, you can speak to him/her within it. 2. Pay attention to how your words are landing. If your companion's response looks off the mark for what you said, check out what he/she is hearing.... 3. Focus on the solution ...
Views: 1334 - Rituals – A Fantastic Couple Success Tool! - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2014 from Emma ViglucciThere is no better way to create wonderful memories and meaning in one’s relationship than with rituals. Rituals are a special way to show love, appreciation and importance for the partners throughout time in the life of the relationship. Relationships are made up of interactions between two ...
Views: 1596 - When Your Relationship is Rocky, Look Right at Your Expectations - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2014 from Michael BroderOne of the best ways to think of a relationship on the rocks is to reflect on your expectations for your relationship. What are they? What is it that you really want from your partner? What could your partner do now that would — from your point of view — make the relationship work again? Make a ...
Views: 1800 - Trust: The Stuff That Holds Relationships Together - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2014 from William CottringerTrust: The Stuff That Holds Relationships Together By Bill Cottringer “You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” ~Epicurus Successful relationships are built on unconditional ...
Views: 1361 - Dr. Romance: Does your relationship need a spring cleaning? - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance: tips on spring cleaning your marriage: Over an extended period of time, dust and detritus can accumulate in even the best marriage. Spring cleaning, to clear out the cobwebs and re-energize your connection, is a great idea. Just like a regular housework schedule, regular ...
Views: 1616(2 votes) - Links for my BlogSpot Radio Interviews and YouTube videos - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2014 from Barry HammerI, Dr. Barry Hammer, have recently (January 2014) posted three BlogSpot Radio audio interviews and two YouTube videos discussing the two books that my beloved late father, Dr. Max Hammer, wrote with contributions from me and Dr. Alan C. Butler. These audio interviews and YouTube videos discuss ...
Views: 1528 - Family Codependency part 3 - five more steps a couple can take to support rather than resuce each other - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2014 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondDespite the relief that Craig felt when his wife Sophie did his bookkeeping for his landscape business he was frequently choked with shame. The conflict made him snappy and uninterested in spending leisure time with her. He dreaded going to bed at night because he didn’t want to face his ...
Views: 1651 - Fair Fight Guidelines - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2014 from Tina TessinaThirty years of marriage counseling and twenty-five years of a second marriage have convinced me that fights are not necessary in a marriage. Married couples need to have discussions, they need to solve problems, and sometimes they need to disagree, but they don’t need to squabble, argue, ...
Views: 1483 - Your Relationship is in Trouble: Has Your Partner Changed or Just Your View of Then Vs. Now? - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2014 from Michael BroderThe title of a great and popular old Off-Broadway play captures one of the most common sentiments I've seen when working with distressed couples: I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change. If you have discovered that for some reason you and your partner are no longer growing together as a couple, ...
Views: 1704 - Do You Support Each Other? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2014 from Emma ViglucciWe all have dreams, wishes and goals. There are things we want for ourselves, our partner, our family. Sometimes though we find that it is difficult, if not impossible, to make our wish a reality. We may want to start a new business, go back to school, learn a new trade, pick up a new hobby ...
Views: 1885 - PTSD and Military Divorce - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2014 from Abigail FazelatThere is no doubt that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can put strain on any relationship, but marriages are especially affected, and many of them can lead to divorce. The military is notorious for its exceptionally high divorce rates, and while this fact exists for various reasons, among ...
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