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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am having issues with my boyfriend. I was searching something on WebMD and found an article that spoke of your book How to Be a Couple and Still be Free. I started doing some research on you and your other books (It Ends With You, How To Be A Couple and Still Be Free, ...
Views: 1127 - Dr. Romance on Living Outside the Box - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a ...
Views: 868(2 votes) - Getting Along With Each Other - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when ...
Views: 871(1 vote) - How To Avoid Loving a Jerk - by Submitted on May 29, 2015 from Tina TessinaAs I was swimming last week, a young couple came into the pool. Instead of doing laps or walking, like most of the gym members, they were just enjoying themselves. He started splashing her, and she said “Joey, stop it!” but she said it in a placating, whiney voice. He just kept ...
Views: 973(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Does Friends with Benefits Work? - by Submitted on May 29, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was browsing the net and came across one of your articles "No Strings Attached Sex" which I found very interesting as it relates to a situation I am facing currently. I am a young male and I cannot handle having sex for a while with a person ...
Views: 859(1 vote) - Why Couples Fall out of Love - by Submitted on May 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn my counseling office, I frequently deal with people who’ve heard the dread phrase, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” How can it happen that a couple who were once thrilled with each other can fall out of love? It seems like a mystery, but it’s not. And, ...
Views: 780(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on 10 signs a guy is cheating on you - by Submitted on May 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Telling a guy you won't stand for cheating is a waste of time. Instead, be open and accepting, and encourage him to talk about his sexual exploits. If he's cheated before, he probably will cheat again. The best protection against cheating is to have open and frank ...
Views: 1004(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I was always wrong - by Submitted on May 18, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: THANK YOU so much for this dating tip! My girlfriend sent me your article "You Be The Judge" yesterday. I needed this. I dated this African guy for 4 months, 3 weeks in which we were actually together, and I was always upset and let-downed. Always, his way, his ...
Views: 1031 - JEALOUSY, FAITHFULNESS AND DISTANCE - by Submitted on May 18, 2015 from Tina TessinaSo many couples are now separated part- or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, “'til death do us part” but no one said anything about what happens when a military ...
Views: 825 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm married but I love somebody else - by Submitted on May 18, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I really admire how you advise people, please help me too. I'm married and I love my husband very much, but I love somebody else so much I don't know why although people say you can't love 2 people at the same time but I do. coz I love him very much and ...
Views: 1022 - Dear Dr. Romance: I have never put up with any crap until this one came along - by Submitted on May 11, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I met a girl about three years ago at work. We both saw a connection, but neither one of us followed up on it. We were both in relationships, she was married. Several months later she told me things weren't good at home and we had started talking. She and I became ...
Views: 761(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on The Right Way to Love - by Submitted on May 10, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There’s a pervasive myth in our society that there is a right and a wrong way to love. However, there’s not much clarity about what the right might be. We all have difficulty with relationships and difficulty with love. Therefore, we’re liable to draw the uncomfortable ...
Views: 724 - Watch Out for Bad Relationship Habits - by Submitted on May 10, 2015 from Tina TessinaI often write about good relationship habits, so this month, I thought I’d explore some of the bad habits I see in my counseling practice that lead to strife and struggle in relationships. Hopefully, if you recognize any of these habits in your own relationship, you’ll work ...
Views: 786 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am considering being a licensed psychotherapist - by Submitted on May 10, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am considering being a licensed psychotherapist. What was your education track if I may ask? Dear Reader: Of course you may ask. I was licensed in 1978, so things were quite different then. I took an independent study curriculum at Lindenwood Colleges, and I used ...
Views: 990 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am not sexually as attracted to him as I'd like to be - by Submitted on May 04, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was hoping for a little advice on my relationship now that is truly wonderful and appears to be the best relationship of my life. Things are souring from my end, which I could not understand why, until this morning when it dawned on me. I have never been as happy as I am now ...
Views: 823(1 vote) - How to Cope with Toxic Friendships - by Submitted on May 03, 2015 from Tina TessinaResearch shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family, but all friendships are not beneficial. A healthy friendship has mutual caring, mutual respect, mutual responsibility and good communication. Breaking up with an important friend ...
Views: 1026(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I can't decide if she's as in to me as I am her - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance:My situation is different that some. See I have only been in 2 relationships, but they were really long term. My first I was 16 till I was 21. Second from 22 till 26 years old. Both of those relationships were an on off kind of relationship. So inbetween the ons and off, ...
Views: 735(2 votes) - Your Inner Detective - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2015 from Tina TessinaThe biggest obstacle to most of my clients’ healing and recovery is their inability to understand and accept their feelings, and the emotional and behavioral clues that indicate where the problems lie. Most of us learn early that being too open with our feelings and thoughts is dangerous. ...
Views: 795(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I have blogged before about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, ...
Views: 858(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I have blogged before about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, ...
Views: 858(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I have a family member with two failed marriages - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have a family member with two failed marriages, after she asked for my advice I suggested a spousal abuse counselor for therapy. She didn't receive counseling and went on to a second failed marriage. This time even worse than the first. She doesn't understand the ...
Views: 919 - Dear Dr. Romance: My son gets angry, throws things - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am writing to you for your professional opinion regarding my 15 year old son. His behavior overall is good but when he gets angry he throws things swears a lot and just a few minutes ago destroyed my vacuum cleaner in one blow to the floor. I am a single parent about ...
Views: 823 - Dear Dr. Romance: It's as if something turned out bad - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have a friend who's asking for an advice and accidentally, I saw in the Internet your advices to some heart problems. So I told myself to try ask help from you also. This lady friend of mine is well, kind of in love with a man who's also in love with her. ...
Views: 667(2 votes) - Tapping Your “Inner Mentor” to Create New Meaning in Your Life - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina TessinaSooner or later all of us question the meaning of life. The sooner we get to it, the better chance we have of finding a satisfactory answer. As a therapist I watch many of my clients pass through stages of personal growth. Once they work through the issues that have held them back, they often ...
Views: 926 - Dr. Romance on Self-Reliance and Independence - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina Tessina"As the price of liberty is vigilance -- so the price of independence is self-determination, the price of dignity is self-assertion, and the price of respect is self-respect," wrote psychiatrist Dr. Thomas Szasz. Dr. Romance knows that self-determination and self-respect are the ...
Views: 1855 - Dr. Romance's Newest Ebook: The Real 13th Step - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance announces The Real 13th Step:Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the Twelve-Step Programs Dear readers: So many of you have written and e-mailed to ask about The Real 13th Step that I'm delighted to have this new edition in print. It's the ...
Views: 1646 - Learning Forgiveness - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2015 from Tina TessinaLearning to forgive those who hurt us is an essential life skill, because it helps develop inner maturity, frees us from emotional bondage to the other person, and helps us develop the power to move on. Forgiveness begins with learning to forgive yourself for any damage you may ...
Views: 1071 - Dr. Romance: You Are a Gift - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Each of us is individual, special and different for a reason: You are a gift to the planet. Anthropology tells us we are different because we survive better that way – the recombining of genes in sexual reproduction makes us a stronger species than cloning would. However, ...
Views: 683 - Guidelines for Being Better Understood - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2015 from Tina Tessina1. Seek first to understand. If you know your partner's frame of reference, you can speak to him/her within it. 2. Pay attention to how your words are landing. If your companion's response looks off the mark for what you said, check out what he/she is ...
Views: 810 - Dr. Romance on The Worrier’s Guidelines: simple steps to combat worry - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Often, it seems that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything that must be done, and like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland we have to run as fast as we can just to stay in place. And she was created before computers, cell phones and e-mail! ...
Views: 735 - Dr. Romance on The Worrier’s Guidelines: simple steps to combat worry - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Often, it seems that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything that must be done, and like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland we have to run as fast as we can just to stay in place. And she was created before computers, cell phones and e-mail! ...
Views: 641 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm in my late 40s and feeling very unhopeful about my future love life. - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I am in a terrible funk over a failed relationship that lasted 2 years and I thought would lead to marriage. We met online and now I'm afraid if I go online again, he will see my profile and/or I will see his. I took this breakup so hard, the thought of that happening just ...
Views: 964 - Getting Out of Your Way - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaRecently, I wrote here about making the most of time. This month, I have been asked a lot about how people can overcome paralysis and self-sabotage, so I thought I’d pass on my ideas on the subject. Getting in your own way is all about how you relate your yourself. In addition to not ...
Views: 717 - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel like such a damned freak. - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My entire adult life, I have gone out to all the places you're told to go to meet someone special. Nothing. I never even get asked out. It's like I'm invisible, and my life has wasted away because there's not a damn thing I can to do to 'make' someone ...
Views: 646 - Dr. Romance on How to Write a Love Letter: put your relationship in perspective - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr Romance adapted this from an Alcoholics Anonymous handout: We often get out of touch or out of sorts with people – sometimes they leave or pass on, sometimes we quarrel, sometimes we just grow apart. If your connection, or lack of one, with someone is troubling you, here’s a simple way to ...
Views: 1087 - Couples Can Cooperate for Success - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaYou have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting wants and needs. If you ...
Views: 814 - Dear Dr. Romance: is it natural for a man to masturbate? - by Submitted on Mar 02, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am single man, I have question for you, is it natural for a man to masturbate? I normally, do it everyday, sometimes 4 times a day. Tell me if its wrong or normal to fantasize my cousin and she is a woman? Is it that wrong thing to do? I love to masturbate and to me ...
Views: 879 - Surviving Loss and Thriving Again - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2015 from Tina TessinaNone of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional “til death do us part.” Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking ...
Views: 651 - Dr. Romance on Silver and Gold: secrets to making and keeping friends - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2015 from Tina TessinaMake new friends, keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.——adage Research conducted by Dr. Dean Ornish and others shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family. But, in our mobile society, keeping friends is not always possible. ...
Views: 752 - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel terrible about not keeping the promises I made - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My story will probably sound like a thousand others you've heard, but I am in desperate need of some answers. I am in my fifties, my wife is a few years younger. My wife had a hysterectomy about 15 years ago, so menopause is not likely part of this equation. As you are ...
Views: 901 - Dear Dr. Romance: My girlfriend doesn't think she can handle this relationship. - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am (or was, perhaps) in a fairly strong relationship for a few months now. Recently though, as the upcoming fall quarter approaches, my girlfriend doesn’t think she can handle a relationship. Between stress from school (she really wants her 4.0 this year), over-bearing ...
Views: 1432 - Getting Along With Each Other - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when ...
Views: 686 - Dr. Romance on: It's a Dirty Job: Use the Silly Solution for a Healthy Relationship - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Early in our marriage, after a difficult struggle between us, I gave my husband Richard a card. All over the front it said, "I love you," and inside it said, "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it." That phrase has carried us through many ...
Views: 926 - When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2015 from Tina TessinaMany people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and work together ...
Views: 1265 - Dear Dr. Romance: What I fear has happened the second time round - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I hope you can help me. My boyfriend passed away two years back... We were pretty much engaged, living together and everything. I thought i was over the whole thing, but now I know I'm not. A month back, or so.. i was seeing a man, and today i found out he had ...
Views: 727 - Dear Dr. Romance: Are there dating guidelines for single parents? - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am an elementary school counselor. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to ask you a question that involves a child of a single parent. This 12 year old boy's father died less than a year ago. His mom has started dating again (I believe this to be too soon). I ...
Views: 753 - Resolving Inner Anarchy - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaRecent events have me thinking about political anarchy—riots, bombings, civil wars, threats, and other bad and dangerous behavior around the world. Politically, anarchy means obeying no laws. It’s frightening to watch a mob take over. Anarchy is the result of two things: repression ...
Views: 675 - Dear Dr. Romance: It seems to be going in a circle. - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I would like your advice in my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been living together for a year and a half and known each other for 3 years. He calls me names and puts me down when i try to communicate with him and every time i want to break it off he tells me we should ...
Views: 694 - Dr. Romance asks: Are the Post-Holiday Blues getting you down? - by Submitted on Jan 26, 2015 from Tina TessinaEveryone is relieved when the holidays are over, and sometimes disappointed. If you're worn out, it's worth your while to take the time to recharge a little, and pamper yourself. Dr. Romance gives 4 Tips for handling Post-holiday blues * If you are disappointed, and the ...
Views: 764 - Dear Dr. Romance: How Do I Stop My Husband's Ex-Wife from Smothering Their Son - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband has a son with his ex-wife. He is 12, but she still invites him to sleep in her bed. How old is too old to be sleeping with Mom? I know kids from divorced parents have different issues-- one being how a child should sleep, what ...
Views: 927 - Creating Family Acceptance - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaLately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month. ...
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