Dear Dr. Romance:

Don't know if you can help me or if i need to go to specialist alcohol sites.  My partner and i had been together for 21 years, i asked him to leave 8 months ago, but i miss him dreadfully at times and i have to remind myself why i asked him to go. His mother was an alcoholic and a toxic bitch, still is , anyway 
he has gone off to stay with his mom and dad, he's forty six years old , he did date someone briefly but i think it's over. Anyway is there anyway i can do to sort this out, i do love him but can't stand what
his drinking was doing to me and our family.i seem to be the one having problems moving on.

Dear Reader:

It's difficult for most of my clients to deal with an alcoholic partner.  You're right to make a break, and you must stay away until he recognizes and gets help for his drinking problem. 

You'll find help for yourself at Al-Anon.  It's the AA support group for spouses and families of alcoholics. If your children are old enough, they can go to Ala-Teen. You'll all learn a lot there and you'll find others who understand what you've been through.You'll be very glad you went. Al-anon will teach you how to deal with your ex-partner.  

'Read "Letting Go Takes Love"  to help you remain strong and "Mirrors and Teachers" to help with the difficult mother-in-law.  They are free on my website.  It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction will help you understand your family dynamics.

It Ends With You
 The Real 13th Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the 12-Step Programs will show you what is involved in addiction and what is necessary to heal from it.

   13th Step ebook



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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.