Dear Dr. Romance:  

I live in Scotland and I think we are quite backward when it comes to mental health issues. I have spoken to 2 therapists now about my obsessive thinking, both of whom seem strangely perplexed by what I perceive to be quite a common problem.  I seem to ruminate all day about myself, seeking solutions for a mental health problem.  The problem of which I talk is the fact that I think about having a mental health problem all the time.  As you can see it is just a vicious circle, the reality is that there is no problem other than the thinking about there being a problem and that in turns leads to anxiety about the fact 'it's not normal to be thinking like this all the time'.  Sometimes I can just accept it, other times I let it overwhelm me. 

Hope this makes some sense, I'm looking for some guidance. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Dear Reader:

In order to change obsessive thinking quickly, you must replace the obsessive thoughts with more positive ones. For your problem, I'd suggest you do affirmations along the lines of "I, [your name] am relaxed and mentally healthy."   "Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude" contains specific steps to follow. "Resolving Inner Anarchy" will help you gain control over your thoughts.

The Real Thirteenth Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the 12-Step Programs will give you more in-depth work to heal the underlying causes of your perseveration.  

13th Step ebook

For low-cost counseling, email me at

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.

Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.