Dear Dr. Romance

I was looking at the articles on your website and I really liked a lot of things that you have to say about dealing with life, ourselves,others, and the interaction of all three.  I am contacting you in hopes that you might be able to provide me with some advice or lead me to a source of advice. Here is the situation. My serious girlfriend (finances prevent her from being a fiancee) is over twenty years old, and has never had a drivers' license. She has attempted to learn in the past, but has not been able to overcome very acute anxiety about driving.  She says the anxiety creates undesired physical consequences and clouded judgement, and she loses control. Although I love her dearly and want to be there for her, this has become somewhat of a burden. She is willing to try to learn again, but is sure that she will never be able to drive.  This mindset is very difficult for me to help her overcome despite my willingness and patience.

If you could provide me with some advice or direction to help resolve this issue, I would greatly appreciate it. Perhaps you can provide a starting point for "self-help" so to speak.

Dr. Romance replies:

I'm afraid "self-help" won't work with this problem. Your girlfriend is having anxiety attacks, exacerbated by her vision problem. She needs counseling with a trained counselor who is expert in anxiety problems and phobias. It's actually a relatively easy problem to fix. Please read the free article"Handling Anxiety Effectively"  and "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely"  Both articles will give you more understanding of the problem and what to do about it.

It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction will help both you and your girlfriend understand the origins of the anxiety, and what needs to be done about it.

It Ends With You

 For low-cost counseling, email me at

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.