Be Awesome With Your Partner!
How badly do you want to have an awesome relationship with your partner?How committed are you to making the relationship work? Is failure an option? Do you have one foot out the door? I hear partners complain about how they want things to be different, but they ... Views: 1115
How does this happen? Here we are loving a person and doing our best to show them we love, cherish and want to be with them to fail miserably at conveying that message. This is even worse when compounded by difficulties and lack or relationship skills partners bring to the table.
But, it ... Views: 1100
Being seen and accepted for who we are is a basic need that specially plays out in our relationship. I find that the driver behind most conflict and dissatisfaction in relationships has to do with the partners feeling they can’t be themselves in one way or another.
Partners ... Views: 1084
There is more to us than meets the eyes… We have an internal world operating at all times that we are vaguely aware of. Some people are totally out of touch with theirs… The more we become acquainted with our own Self and all it’s aspects, needs and desires the more we can be our Authentic Self ... Views: 1079
When we are babies we learn to get our needs met by alerting our parents of a poopie diaper, hungry belly, or an ouchie with our crying. As adults, we continue to try to get our needs met with our �crying�. Our crying has become more sophisticated over time and now takes the form of criticism, ... Views: 1066
People usually marry for love. A new phenomenon, only a couple of centuries old, in the history of the institution of marriage and in this culture. I say “usually” because sometimes people just get married because that is the thing to do, again speaking from today’s and ... Views: 1049
Couples usually end up accepting the lack of desire and passion in their relationship as a fact of life for a longterm relationship. They are not happy or satisfied with this, but their attempts at remedying their lack of (passionate) physical intimacy don’t usually succeed.
The reason ... Views: 1034
I find that we make poor choices at almost every turn and then wonder how come our relationship and life are not as we’d prefer them to be I find that we do not own our Self and our life, that we do not know who we are and what we are meant to do I find that we do not take the time to design our ... Views: 1028
A key ingredient in a satisfying relationship is Understanding. When we don’t feel understood we are out of sinc with one another and our needs can’t be met.
Understanding validates our existence, is respectful and mindful. It is amazing that most people do not have this necessary ingredient ... Views: 1021
Are you using the parts you love about yourself in your relationship? Do you bring the best out in each other? Do you complement and learn from each other? Are you a team working towards a common goal? Do you stimulate each other? What is the underlying theme to your interactions with your ... Views: 1011
I think romance is underrated… I hear couples express they want romance and to be romanced, but they state it with a sense of shame, wishful thinking and as an unattainable outcome. They off-handedly claim their wish in the same sentence that dismisses it with the practicality of everyday life. ... Views: 1007
We are what we think. We create what we think.
What we resist persists. What we focus on expands.
We are super powerful creating creatures…
Our mind is a honing device for creating, a GPS for getting places… We create what we think whether intentionally or not.
Left to its own untrained ... Views: 1001
In my recent reading I have come across a piece of writing that has made me think of sexuality and physical intimacy from a different angle. I love when that happens! Give me material that sparks my creative juices and that I can integrate into my work for greater impact, and I’m a very happy ... Views: 994
Our body is our most important possession. It houses, protects and enables our most precious possession our brain. Our brain creates and generates our mind and the essence of us. It makes us who we are on a daily basis. It is the CEO of Me, Inc. It is the master mind of our life. Some say it is ... Views: 992
Usually we have good intentions and mean to invest in our relationship. Somehow this fizzles from the moment we have that thought or attitude to the next moment… We are very fickle in our thinking about the status and course of our relationship. One moment we are partners for life, the next we ... Views: 980
The Path to Passion & Synergy
One characteristic satisfied and successful couples have in common is that they are part of each other's lives. Duh-ah! I'm sure this does not come as a surprise. The trick though is how the partners are part of each other's lives. Partners have difficulties ... Views: 953
I find that most couples do not have a vision of their future in place. They do not know where they are going in life. They deal with things as they come up, live pay-check-to-pay-check or floating their lives on credit cards, putting out fires, and mechanically going through their days. They ... Views: 949
I have noticed that when we have the foot to the pedal, we are moving so fast that we actually miss the beautiful scenery around us. We go about life trying to get things accomplished to such an extent that we burn ourselves out and end up actually accomplishing less… So, what’s the ... Views: 948
Couples frequently come to my practice expressing that they have lost something or that something is missing in their relationship. They complain there is no passion. They share that they are good friends, but want something more in their relationship. A lot of these couples have a sexless ... Views: 941
The bottom line of the romantic relationship is feeling connected, loved and acknowledged. This is what we strive for in our relationship. This is of course not the only thing we want out of our relationship, but it sure is one of the top ones! This explains the need to partner up in life. We ... Views: 849
Have you noticed that when you are really close to what you want or to the next level in your life, things seem to go wrong? You are close to having your car paid off and you total it, you are about to win a sports competition and you get injured, you are about to take the trip of a life time ... Views: 846
Unless we live in a cabin isolated from the world, grow our own veggies, and paint all day, we pretty much rely on our left brain (logical, technical, verbal brain) to live our lives, and even then we would still need our left brain to carry out life’s most basic functions. It is when we ... Views: 841
Our body is not just a receptacle that houses our Self. It is how the Self manifests itself. The flesh that we refer to as our body is actually all-knowing pulsating molecular energy. the material of the Self, our Being.
Here we store information such as our histories, experiences, their ... Views: 840
When we are in a vulnerable place, triggered, overextended, overwhelmed, stressed, hormonal, whatever, we function from a less than resourceful state and therefore can very easily fall prey to negative thinking, victimization, sabotaging, undermining, deprecating, blaming, abuse, neglect, and ... Views: 809
Sometimes we feel stuck and hopeless. We look at our life and relationship and wonder, What happened? This is not what I set out to create. Somewhere along the way you lost your path, you lost your self. And now, you have no idea where you want to go and how to get yourself there. You might ... Views: 807
How Do You Show Your Commitment?
I find that most couples do not have a vision of their future in place. They do not know where they are going in life. They deal with things as they come up, live pay-check-to-pay-check or floating their lives on credit cards, putting out fires, and ... Views: 798
Every once in a while we need to acknowledge how far we’ve come in our relationship. Think back on how things were, when you were having a hard time in your relationship and had not started making a conscious and guided effort to make things better.
If your relationship is fairly new and you ... Views: 792
I find that most couples do not have a vision of their future in place. They do not know where they are going in life. They deal with things as they come up, live pay-check-to-pay-check or floating their lives on credit cards, putting out fires, and mechanically going through their days. They ... Views: 779
What do you usually think of when you think of the f word? We probably both think of the same four-letter word, but for today let’s make our f word a more meaningful word. F is for Focus. F is for Freedom. I’ve written before that what we focus on persists. What we focus on either enables us or ... Views: 778
Do you remember when you were a kid and wanted something really badly? Whether you nagged someone to death to get it, or tried, rehearsed, or practiced incessantly you knew what it would take to get it and went for it. As kids we knew that repeating actions got results: learning to ride a bike, ... Views: 774
What makes your relationship special? What is it about your relationship that makes you happy? What do you appreciate the most about your partner’s essence? How does your partner’s essence enrich your life?
I find that partners tend to forget what’s at the core of themselves and their ... Views: 770
Without even realizing or knowing how it happened sometimes couples find that they have gotten themselves stuck in a rut. This is very common and it can happen cyclically in the relationship. The couple’s rhythm inevitably sets this up to happen.
Some things that affect this phenomenon ... Views: 768
It is a phenomenon when we feel energized, connected, and alive past the infatuation stage of our relationship.
At the beginning, we fall in love. We feel euphoric, on top of the world, passionate, sexy, wanted, lustful, etc. This stage lasts and can be maintained only for so long. In this ... Views: 765
Do you find that you have so many demands and responsibilities calling for your attention and resources that sometimes you feel like crawling under a rock and going to sleep for a millennium? Do you find that everyone wants a piece of you? Your kids have practical, social, intellectual and ... Views: 755
In our society Freedom is one of our most valuable assets and one we tend to take for granted. How we perceive and define our freedom is directly correlated to our sense of power and our ability to design the relationship and life we want. When we get stuck looking at our situation with a murky ... Views: 747
Isn’t it sad that most couples are not happy or that relationships are barely working as the partners wish? I attribute this to a lack of courage, to fear. For you see, we tend to lead with our defenses, protection and ego in our relationship. We are not attractive when we use our porcupine mode ... Views: 746
Many couples operate under the assumption that being in a relationship means to be bossed around, told what to do, and to loose their personal freedom and choices. I have heard references to young couples getting engaged as “he bit the bullet” and other similar degrading remarks.
I’m sure you ... Views: 740
We leave freedom and independence to be celebrated on the 4th of July, and for politicians and policy makers to worry about. But freedom is a gift that should be treasured, cherished and protected in all contexts, especially in such an intimate and influential relationship in our lives such as ... Views: 731
When couples struggle it is very common to find that the partners have not yet found a way to honor and support each other in genuine, compassionate and generous ways. Partners share that they have tried it all and are tired of not getting anything back, getting their needs met, nor being able ... Views: 725
A crippling state in relationships is when partners can’t seem to get each other and get on the same page. Partners struggle with being themselves, seen, accepted, recognized and embraced. I find when couples struggle is because the partners are having a difficult time honoring themselves and ... Views: 722
Here is the thing, a lot of people don’t know how to be High Performers, the Masters of their lives. Most people don’t know how to create the most from their lives by increasing productivity, creativity, peacefulness, joy, love and connection… They don’t know how to stay healthy, have increased ... Views: 707
There is more to us than meets the eyes… We have an internal world operating at all times that we are vaguely aware of. Some people are totally out of touch with theirs… The more we become acquainted with our own Self and all it’s aspects, needs and desires the more we can be our Authentic Self ... Views: 705
Have you noticed that when you are really close to what you want or to the next level in your life, things seem to go wrong? You are close to having your car paid off and you total it, you are about to win a sports competition and you get injured, you are about to take the trip of a life time ... Views: 701
Most couples can revitalize their relationship after they’ve lost desire for each other and/or after being in their non-sexual relationship (10 sexual encounters a year (less than one per month) for a while, even for decades! This is good news! These dissatisfied couples loose hope of ever ... Views: 700
Abundance in our life is experienced in direct proportion to the level of Self Love and Self Care we give ourselves. Take a moment to soak that in. When we are stingy with our Self, our energy vibrates at a lower frequency which attracts other low frequency people, situations and results in our ... Views: 695
We bring a lot more into our relationship than we are aware. We are unique human beings with a unique set of history, parenting, socialization, wounding, and experiences. As we develop and journey in our lifetime, our uniqueness plays a role in all we do including how we relate to our partner. ... Views: 679
It was incredibly nice disconnecting from the usual during our Spring Break… Even when life is grand it’s nice to change things up. I found myself not interested on being on my phone or any other electronic device. It was a struggle checking-in on things and people. It felt like being pulled ... Views: 674
People are obsessed with the difficulties in their relationship, they just keep thinking about it and hurting over it. They put too much negative mental energy into it. I don’t really blame them as I know it is very difficult and painful to be in a relationship that just keeps hurting them, but ... Views: 672
Continuing with our Freedom theme, picking-up where we left off with reparenting around Fathering/Discipline (to reprogram ourselves), and combining it with more Summer goodness. Why not?
Re-Fathering has to do with personal discipline and how we set ourselves up to succeed in life and in ... Views: 666
Money. Money is a hot topic in many relationships as there are intense emotions attached to money as well as a range of meaning around it. Partners have different ideas about the importance of money, what it means to them, its purpose, its role, how to manage it, and even how to earn it! Couples ... Views: 665