Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Articles from Joyce Shafer, Book Doctor | Selfgrowth.com
- 2 Components of Real Change - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThere’s one particular thing that often stands in the way of any desired change; and, its partner has near-equal influence. Do you know what these are? Consideration about the ignition switch for real change started with an email from an associate saying he was in a state of flux and it ...
Views: 1458 - 7 Tips to Manage Overwhelm - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorOverwhelm blocks productivity, creativity, enjoyment… and even income! You can begin to improve this starting today. In my article, “What Does Feeling Overwhelmed Really Mean?”, I mentioned I’d created a mind map. Since then, I revisited my mind map and removed a few things listed there. ...
Views: 1236 - What Does Feeling Overwhelmed Really Mean? - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThere are two types of overwhelm: the type that’s triggered by external events and the type you self-impose. Both can be managed with the same technique. “I’m overwhelmed,” was my client’s first comment. You’ve been in that state of mind, and so have I. And, that’s what’s important to ...
Views: 6468(1 vote) - WHERE Is the Best Place to Start - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhen you have a goal or dream in mind, do you ask yourself where the best place to start is? The answer is in the question: Where you’re going. You’ve seen floor plan maps in public places like large malls, stores, or office buildings that let you see where shops, offices, or sections are ...
Views: 934(1 vote) - Three Keys to Goal Setting and Getting - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorRichard Bach said, “You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it true.” Are you working on your dream, or feel too stuck to move? There are three keys for goal setting and getting. When something other than achievement or accomplishment is the result, one or more ...
Views: 947(2 votes) - What Is a Short Temper Fuse Really About? - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWe all experience having a short fuse at times, though some seem to have this more often. What’s really going on; and can two simple methods make a difference? Thoughts that motivated my recent article, “Do You Experience Mixed Feelings About Being Patient and Tolerant?” didn’t stop when I ...
Views: 4718(1 vote) - Do You Experience Mixed Feelings About Being Patient and Tolerant? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorPatience and tolerance are behaviors and states of mind to practice, right? How well do you do with them? Questions about Patience and Tolerance came to me after I spent extended time with someone who couldn’t seem to talk about anything that wasn’t unpleasant. All of us need a dose of ...
Views: 1446(1 vote) - Life Is Not Supposed to Be All About Problems - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDo you wake every day, move through your day, and go to bed with problems on your mind? Maybe you’d like to do something about that right now. What can you do that’s quick? Reframe the problem or your perceptions about it to make a difference, even if just a small shift at first. I ...
Views: 1128(1 vote) - Is Trying to Be Positive Making You Negative? - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDo you ever feel trying to be positive is more like one step forward and two or more steps back? There is a good reason you feel this way. You may believe you’re obligated to be positive 24/7; and that if you were, everything about your life you don’t like would shift to what you want. And, ...
Views: 965(1 vote) - Is Self-Esteem an Issue for You? - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAre you a member of the Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth Club? What you’re about to read may inspire you to cancel your membership. One of the times you feel low self-esteem and self-worth is when you’re around someone you believe, according to your perception, has more going for them than you ...
Views: 1165(2 votes) - Are You Stuck in Survival Mode? - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAnother word for survival mode is stress. When stressed, we tend to become something we don’t really want to be: self-absorbed. There is a way out. An associate brought me up to date on her project. I offered a particular level of assistance. Here’s what she wrote back: “You’re so sweet to ...
Views: 17306 - 5 Questions to Help You Become Your Authentic Self - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIt’s a complaint you and many others may share: I don’t feel authentic! These 5 questions can help you change this. If you feel inauthentic, you already know how painful that can be. If you’re a people-pleaser, you know how painful that can be, too. If you feel the real you lives behind a ...
Views: 1508(1 vote) - What Else Can Your Negativity Cost You? - by Submitted on May 28, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorYou are aware of some costs to you from being negative—too aware, likely. But there’s a new way it might cost you, and it’s not on the horizon, it’s happening now. How easy it is to slip into negativity, especially when we’re frustrated or disappointed. That kind of approach to life ...
Views: 1050(3 votes) - Do You Yell at the Movie Screen of Your Life? - by Submitted on May 03, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIf you find you don’t like a movie, you don’t yell at the screen to change. But, is that what you do about your life? I’d decided to use the Ho’oponopono method to work on old program tapes that run in my subconscious. If you’re going to aim at a target so you can hit it consistently, you ...
Views: 1142(1 vote) - Is Your Focus on the Target or the Prize? - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2011 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThe article title asks an important question. The one you focus on has everything to do with not only your outcome but your experience reaching it. In his book, Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality, Anthony De Mello quotes Chinese sage Tranxu: “When the archer shoots for no ...
Views: 1352(1 vote) - What Are the Differences Between Soul Needs and Ego Needs? - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWe are souls in physical form, and we have an ego that is meant to serve us in specific ways. Frustration happens when we get their needs confused (or ignore them) rather than have them work together. Let’s look at some ways to differentiate between ego needs and soul needs. Ego serves us ...
Views: 5611(1 vote) - Do You Feel Empty or Full? - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorPerhaps you have certain feelings or longings that are vague, or sharp. These are callings from your soul, drawing attention to areas of you that need to be filled. At one time or another, you may feel one or more of the following: -Depressed or at least that you could feel ...
Views: 1187(1 vote) - The Big Question for Many: Who Am I, Really? - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIt seems a minority of people feel genuinely at home in their skin, know who they are and how to go after what they want, and live as their authentic selves. Why is this? Let’s look at where things go off track for the others. We have a perplexing set-up as human beings: We come into our ...
Views: 1020(1 vote) - Need to Amp Up Your Motivation and Commitment? - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorCan a simple statement really get you motivated to start, do, or improve something you’re putting off? Let’s find out. Think of something you desire to be different, or feel challenged about following through on. See or feel it in your mind’s eye. Really connect with it. Now, say to yourself, ...
Views: 1118(2 votes) - Do You Push When You Could Ride? - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIt happens to all of us when we desire to fix, change, or shift something: we push when we could ride. What’s that really about? Years back, the guy cutting my hair told me about a conversation he’d had with a co-worker. She had complained that her father had used the push lawnmower on their ...
Views: 1295(1 vote) - How Can I Identify My Life Purpose, True Goals, or Bucket List? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIs there really one question or method that can help you answer each or all three of these questions? Let’s find out. First, a few thoughts about each . . . Life Purpose This one gets a lot of play. I think it’s because many of us feel if we, without question, know what our purpose is, ...
Views: 2423(2 votes) - How Well Do You Cope with Change? - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThere are two types of change to be aware of—the type you desire and the type you don’t. Do you feel you manage yourself well enough through these? Do You Want Your Life to Be Different? If you desire change in some area of your life, the first thing that must change is whatever in you ...
Views: 2439(1 vote) - Does a Road Trip Parallel a Life Journey? - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDo you ever wonder if you’re on the right road of your life? If this is or has been your experience, how did you manage yourself? A friend and I took a road trip using her GPS to get us from New York City to Louisiana. We wanted to beat the anticipated July Fourth traffic, so left Thursday ...
Views: 1156(2 votes) - You Reached Your Goal So Why Do You Feel Less Than You Anticipated? - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorYou pick a goal and hit it. You’re supposed to feel good or great, even amazing—but, you don’t. Hmm . . . You followed the formula: picked a goal, made a plan, worked your plan. You succeeded, but you don’t feel the way you thought you would. What happened? You aimed at the wrong target. ...
Views: 1372(5 votes) - Do You Rub Your Thoughts the Wrong Way? - by Submitted on May 28, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThere is a phrase, “That person rubs me the wrong way,” that basically means the person (though it also could be a situation) doesn’t make you feel good. You, at times, do this with your thoughts (most of us do); so what works to shift this? Esther Hicks of Abraham fame has a video on ...
Views: 2889(3 votes) - Do You Feel Authentic? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDo you ever feel afraid to be as you are? See if actor Patrick Stewart’s story and these comments help you think or feel differently about this. Tavis Smiley interviewed Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard in Star Trek: The Next Generation). The topic of Stewart’s famed hairless dome came up, ...
Views: 1280(1 vote) - Do You Attach Untrue Stories to Experiences? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorA simple action sent me back, in memory, to the first time I became aware of attaching an untrue story to an experience. See if you recognize your own predilection or habit of doing this. I needed to open a new pint of Half & Half. The container had that opening that requires you pull the ...
Views: 1227(1 vote) - How Would You Answer This Simple Happiness Question? - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDo you ever compare where you are now in your life to where others are, or to where you thought you should be by this time? If you do and don’t feel happy, the question and comments here may help. I have a friend who recently set up a Facebook page and began to reconnect with long-lost ...
Views: 1408(7 votes) - Do You Possess Your Life or Do You Endure It? - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorHere is a partial line from a P.D. James novel: “. . . preserving always the same look of puzzled acceptance of a life which had to be endured rather than possessed.” Do you possess or endure your life (or any part of it) at this moment? Every day, each of us endures something, even if ...
Views: 1220(3 votes) - Do You Prefer Experiencing or Learning? - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorSomeone emailed this comment to me: “They say live and learn, but I think we should just LIVE. Learning is overrated. We would never accomplish anything.” Do you agree or disagree? This comment gave me pause; and I could have chosen to go down a certain mental-emotional path of disagreement. ...
Views: 1071(2 votes) - Does Your To-Do or Goals List Overwhelm You? - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorLists are handy to help you stay organized. But, what if your list leads you into overwhelm instead of focus, achievement, and fulfillment? One of my newsletter readers emailed that he was not able to focus or move forward on any of his goals, and included a list of almost thirty items he’d ...
Views: 1192(4 votes) - A New Way to View Goals and Desired Outcomes - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorGoals and desired outcomes seem to come in two flavors: the ones easier to achieve and the ones we struggle with. There’s a word you can apply to both that can shift the quality of your experiences and take some of the “charge” out of struggle. Goals and desired outcomes—personal and ...
Views: 1230(1 vote) - What Is Your Gift, and Do You Share It? - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorYour gift is what you do in your unique way. Ironically, you may do it so naturally, you don’t recognize it for what it is or realize what you might do with it. Whatever you do in life, you can have a more joyful, meaningful experience if you shine the light on and share what is unique about ...
Views: 1029(6 votes) - Has Approval Been Your “Currency” Exchange in Life, Business, and Relationships? - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAll the strategies, systems, programs, books you’ve invested in that haven’t shifted your prosperity or life experience may have missed one key point. You may not realize approval, rather than value-for-value, is your imprinted “currency” exchange. Expectations and limiting beliefs introduced ...
Views: 1184(4 votes) - How Big Does Your Dream Need to Be? - by Submitted on Jan 30, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorMany individuals don’t go after their dream because they don’t think they can, should, it’s too small, or “don’t know” what it is. Are any of these holding you back? Two inspirational videos were emailed to me: one about a dog named Ricochet and one about Rudy Ruettiger, for whom the popular ...
Views: 1090(1 vote) - To-Do vs. Inspired-to-Do - by Submitted on Jan 24, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorI’m a solopreneur who enjoys what I do; so I was amazed when I woke one morning not wanting to do any of it! I had to assess what had happened and flip it. It started the prior week, and proved to be a needed reminder of what I’d discovered about to-do vs. inspired-to-do, and temporarily ...
Views: 1071(3 votes) - Would You Rather Be On Purpose or Perfect? - by Submitted on Jan 20, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorBe perfect or be on purpose? Which one of these has been “driving your bus” so far? If you or someone you know struggles with perfectionism, can this hold you back from living on purpose? Ask someone to walk to the moon and you’ll hear, “Not realistic,” as a response. They wouldn’t have a ...
Views: 1104(2 votes) - Can Goals, Strategies, and Systems Prevent Your Success? - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorGoals, Strategies, and Systems vs. Magnetic Visions. What thoughts are triggered when you consider this? Which one feels like a better “ride” for you? Wallace Wattles wrote in his book, The Science of Getting Rich — “Man is a thinking center, and can originate thought. All the forms that ...
Views: 1144(2 votes) - What Is the Only Thing You Have Absolute Control Of? - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2010 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorDid you get the answer to this question immediately? Horace said, “Life is largely a matter of expectations.” Expectations have a lot to do with the one thing you can control. There is one thing in life you have absolute control over: Your attitude. An excellent quote to remember is, ...
Views: 1628(4 votes) - Fine Tune Your Life for the New Year or Any Time of Year - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThere’s a simple way to re-focus your time and energy to get a better start and results in a new year—or any time of year—in any area of your life. Just ask yourself the two questions offered here. Two emails I received reminded me about the principle described below. I’d already had in mind ...
Views: 1181(3 votes) - Do We Teach People How to Treat Us? - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWe can teach others how to treat us, but others also reflect to us how we treat ourselves (self-value), which is often a more subtle dynamic. Do you see how this creates a loop? Let’s bypass childhood and more extreme scenarios, as both of those are different conversations. Let’s consider ...
Views: 1961(4 votes) - Are You Thinking or Processing? - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorSurely, the mental energy you’re giving current (or old) issues is accomplishing something, right? It depends on if you’re thinking or processing. You, too, may appreciate this exchange between Bob Proctor and Leslie Householder when they met, before she wrote her first book that became a ...
Views: 1245(4 votes) - What Is Your Core Safety Switch That Stops Your Success? - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorYou may have a core “switch” set to keep you safe. What if self-sabotage is actually your switch doing its job? Maybe it’s time you give this a closer look. You can apply what follows to any area of your life where you feel attaining success is a struggle, but let’s start with ...
Views: 1133(9 votes) - Do You Feed Negativity? - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhen negativity knocks at your door, do you recognize it and send it away? Or do you invite it in for dinner, or worse, to stay with you as long as it likes—possibly for your lifetime? First, be clear that being the manager of negativity in your life isn’t about the fact you have negative ...
Views: 4844(25 votes) - Say Goodbye to New Year Resolutions - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorNo, it isn’t too early to consider this; it is exactly the right time. The very things you do or don’t do about resolutions are what you do right now. And, you can do them differently starting today. First, it’s important to understand why resolutions you make any time fizzle out. For one, ...
Views: 1183(7 votes) - Is Mainstream the Wrong Stream for You? - by Submitted on Oct 24, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorFor many, mainstream is like a tailored suit; for some, it’s like a straightjacket. Are you swimming in the wrong stream or against the current? Mainstream, in this writing, means demonstrating via your life, work, relationships, etc., an “acceptable” model or role model, as much as ...
Views: 1292(6 votes) - Are You Attached to How Your Life Looks? - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhich is more important: the structure of your life or the foundation of who you are? One individual provided an extreme example of why this is important. A friend/coaching client asked me to help him find his footing about a work-related incident. He works in the mental health field where ...
Views: 1263(3 votes) - The Challenge of Proof of vs. Faith in Infinite Abundance - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIf you’re not experiencing infinite abundance, there’s a good reason it’s not your “reality” yet. The reason relates to a riddle. The challenge is like the riddle: which came first, the chicken or the egg? In this case it’s which comes first, measurable proof that you’re infinitely abundant ...
Views: 1449(3 votes) - How do You Grade Your Worth and Self-Worth? - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorHave you ever thought about how the way we’re taught to measure worth and self-worth is similar to how we got tests graded in school? There is an interesting parallel. The school grades you received for tests measured, in a limited fashion: how well you took tests (often designed to be ...
Views: 1379(9 votes) - How to Write (and Market) a Quality eBook - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2009 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAn e-book can satisfy your desire to write, act as a business building tool, and provide true value to others in many ways. There are guidelines should you use to guarantee its quality. Here are several key points you want to use to improve or guarantee value for readers. Consider them before ...
Views: 1810(4 votes)