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Articles from Joyce Shafer, Book Doctor | Selfgrowth.com
- Tips for Aspiring Writers: Tighten Your Writing - by Submitted on May 06, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhat does tighten your writing mean? What Blaise Pascal wrote gives you an idea: “The present letter is a very long one, simply because I had no leisure to make it shorter.” Though Pascal was a mathematician and physicist turned religious philosopher, his point benefits every ...
Views: 1383(1 vote) - What's Your Opinion about Opinions? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorBill Bullard said, “Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge…is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world.” Our society seems to admire highly ...
Views: 4960 - Stacking Your Stories - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWe love a good story, told well, that entertains us. But there are some who use stories for a different purpose: Justification for why they aren’t in control of themselves and, therefore, their lives. I have a call scheduled with someone who wants to tell me her story. Basically, she hopes ...
Views: 740 - Watch That Swing! - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIf you take hold of a pendulum and pull it a certain distance from center point then release it, the rebound swing in the opposite direction matches the distance you held it from center point. When we’ve felt restricted (allowed it) and “free” ourselves from that scenario, we may experience ...
Views: 1095 - Set Them Free - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThe Law of Attraction states that whatever we hold our focus, specifically, our emotionally-charged feelings on is what we get more of even if it’s not what we desire. It’s easy to relate this to a better job, more money, and all the improvements we typically seek to expand into our lives. If ...
Views: 896 - Happiness Comes In Bites - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorChoosing happiness when its not your habit is like the old joke about how you eat an elephant cone bite at a time. A friend shared she finds it challenging to switch from negative, unhappy mode (usual habit) to positive, happy mode (preferred habit) and gets frustrated when she feels anything ...
Views: 639 - White Noise Of The Mind - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorMaybe you’re like me and you’ve been diligent about letting go of limitations in an area or areas of your life. You’ve experienced and continue to experience the shift as a result of your focused thoughts, words, feelings, and actions. Though I’ve been working with this for years (okay, ...
Views: 672 - What Do You Really Need? - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorI spoke with a friend who just started a new job she doesn’t like. She really wants to start her own business doing something she’s very good at and enjoys. It’s not a matter of figuring out what it may be, she already knows and has done it in the past. During our conversation, she wanted to ...
Views: 675 - Time Wasters - by Submitted on Feb 18, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWe tend to think of time wasters as too much TV viewing, daydreaming, or anything that isn’t a productive use of minutes and hours. Here are a few you may not have considered. Gossip. What’s the point, really? Conveying needed information to the appropriate person or people is okay, but ...
Views: 818 - Every Fear Hides A Wish - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThis title is a line of dialogue from a movie I recently watched. I shared it with a friend who emailed back, “What does THAT mean?” I suppose it could mean we wish the opposite of what we’re afraid of were true instead. If we fear instability in some area of our lives, perhaps we wish ...
Views: 2760(1 vote) - At Least Open A Window! - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorMid-January, I posted an article, “Success Really Does Come in Cans,” where I mentioned conversations with two individuals. One was a Can’t-Do person; the other was a Can-Do type. I haven’t heard from the former, but I heard from the latter. She called to say she was utterly confused and ...
Views: 706 - Push Or Pull? - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIn four days, I’ve watched “The Secret” four times, though definitely not my first viewing. I mentioned this to a friend who responded, “I heard the secret is never actually revealed.” I think the reason some people feel the secret isn’t blatant has to do with the fact our brains don’t respond ...
Views: 866 - Success Really Does Come In Cans - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2008 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorI wish I’d coined the phrase, “Success comes in Cans.” Its accuracy was on my mind as I spent time with two people in Can’t Mode. One of them was open to reframing thoughts and statements; the other was not. One is currently in a funk and has been paying rent to live in Funkville for a couple ...
Views: 921 - Not Your Ordinary Sand Castle - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorMorning stretched itself awake as I made my way down to the shore and joined the handful of early risers. Lacy edges of waves lapped gently over my feet and I scrunched my toes in warm sand. Good time to build a sand castle. It was modest, done mostly for relaxation and meditation, not something ...
Views: 1051 - Can't See Your Life for the Clutter? - by Submitted on Dec 04, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThe New Year is around the corner and a time we consider new beginnings or fresh starts in one or more areas of our lives. A good way to get into this is to see if there’s any outer or inner clutter that holds us back. Outer *Do you search for items you use every day like keys? How much time, ...
Views: 593 - Life As A Bird - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorJohann Wolfgang Von Goethe said, “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” I speak with many people who don’t trust one thing or another in life. Ultimately, what they don’t trust is themselves and their ability to make right choices. The result is dissatisfaction and a feeling ...
Views: 899 - Life Is To Be Possessed, Not Endured - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThe actual line is from a novel by P.D., James: “...preserving always the same look of puzzled acceptance of a life which had to be endured rather than possessed.” Every day, each of us endures something even if it’s an inconvenience of lesser magnitude. Some people endure much more than most ...
Views: 1073 - Solutions Are Not Always Obvious - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorI don’t want to make a unilateral statement, but in my life, solutions are not always obvious. I recently read a parable many of you probably read a long while back called, “The Prisoner in the Dark Cave.” A man sentenced to death is placed in a dark cave. He’s told there is a way out and if he ...
Views: 713 - Run The Race - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorTwo days before I realized the New York City marathon is this weekend, I re-visited a technique I used back around the late 1980s, where I’d write or type questions and wait for answers to flow through my fingers. Neale Donald Walsch had the idea to share his use of this technique, and the rest ...
Views: 677 - Be True To Yourself - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAll of us have moments when we find ourselves at a crossroads and we’re not positively certain which path to take.. We may turn to family or friends for their thoughts and ideas. This is good if what you’re doing is looking for something akin to brainstorming for things to consider. Some who are ...
Views: 3832(1 vote) - Wait For The Movers - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorI use a three-day process when I feel or see a shift in my life and don’t want to jump without knowing where to jump. I state that between that moment and the end of the third day, I‘ll absolutely know what to do; and then I Put It Down, metaphorically, and do and think about other things. This ...
Views: 650 - A Different Kind Of Color Therapy - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorI did my daily practice of walking to the waterfront to sit on a bench and let go of thinking, as much as possible. My mind (like many others) is usually a-whirl with thought, so deliberately letting go for a period of time is beneficial. Then I decided to add something I never though of before: ...
Views: 800 - When Something Goes Missing From Your Life - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhen something goes missing, do you lose your cool or move to Plan B? Saturday morning, I woke to find myself unable to access my email account. Any of you who actively use your email for professional and personal reasons might identify with what I might have felt at that moment. And when a ...
Views: 892 - "Left A Good Job In The City..." - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorJoin in, if you know the tune—“Workin’ for the man every night and day...” You don’t have to work in a city these days, though, to want to start a home business, whether part- or full-time. There are as many reasons a person wants to work from home as there are people who wish or choose to do ...
Views: 930(1 vote) - You Must Choose One or the Other - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorIn the universe, matter and anti-matter exist. In equal amounts, they cancel each other out. If there’s a greater quantity of one than the other, that’s the one that “wins.” Though there are pockets of anti-matter in space, there are more elements of matter or nothing would exist. A parallel ...
Views: 672 - Ask and You Receive - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book Doctor“He who asks questions cannot avoid the answers.” Cameroon Proverb My friend and I talked about what’s next for him. His story is, indeed, part of history. Years ago, he easily earned a million a year in the entertainment industry. Then his head and heart alignment about his work went out of ...
Views: 696 - Pulling Against the Leash - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAh...to live a dog’s life. While in the park, I saw a young girl walking her miniature dog. Something caught its eye that I couldn’t see yet because shrubs blocked my view. The dog would surge forward, barking non-stop at the top of its miniature voice, and the leash would pull it back. I ...
Views: 801 - How and Where Does Your Garden Grow? - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAre you a peach attempting to grow in a banana field instead of an orchard? On a whim, I placed one of the extra copies of my book, “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say,” in the laundry room of my building. A woman I speak with every time we meet up was who found it, and ...
Views: 756 - Rearview Driving - by Submitted on Jul 03, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorYou’re in the driver’s seat, cruising on the highway, headed to your next destination. The rules of safe driving recommend you occasionally glance at your rearview and side-view mirrors so you know what’s going on around you, but your primary focus is on what’s in front of you. It’s obvious you ...
Views: 700 - The Right Place at the Right Time - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorI once heard the affirmation, “I am always in the right place at the right time.” I added “with right action” at the end. I used it for the travel aspect in making my transportation connections and in general over this past weekend when I visited a friend. I’d had a somewhat exhausting week and ...
Views: 717 - Darn Darkness! - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorConfucius said, “It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.” Some might consider the quote’s candle a metaphor for the word “hope.” It could be that. It could also be trust in whatever we believe is larger than ourselves; a small action taken on our behalf as opposed to ...
Views: 880 - You're As Old As Your Thoughts - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book Doctor“You are old, Father William,” the young man said, “And your hair has become very white; and yet you incessantly stand on your head—do you think, at your age, it is right?” (From the works of Lewis Carroll) George Berkeley said, “Our youth we can have but today. We may always find time to grow ...
Views: 672 - How to Have What You REALLY Want (Excerpt) - by Submitted on May 20, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorYou experience life at both an inner and outer level. The inner level is about your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, perceptions, assumptions, etc. The outer level is where you take action based on what was just listed for the inner level. It’s also where you interact—or collide—with the results of ...
Views: 912 - Funny What Laughter Can Shift - by Submitted on May 15, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorMy friend and I were to attend an event near her house, so I went to stay with her for that purpose and a mini-break. Another houseguest she met a month ago was there. I’d heard a bit about the guest, but wasn’t prepared for how over-the-top she is. I discovered the guest doesn’t have “soft” as ...
Views: 912 - Distilling Thoughts - by Submitted on May 08, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorPart of my ritual is to write the same I Am statement 20 times in order to focus on what’s intended, claim it, and do so until it’s the result that’s lived. Rather than doing this by rote, I allow my mind to engage with what’s taking place. I listen to what’s happening at the inner level as I ...
Views: 856 - The Fruit Doesn't Grow on the Trunk - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorMusing about why people sometimes settle for less in their lives, I wondered if one cause might be because they (we) feel unprepared, unable, or afraid, for some reason, to give more? Those who fit into the category of over-givers (usually poor receivers) might mutter at me as they read this, ...
Views: 773 - Quiet, Please - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorI live in a quiet building in a quiet neighborhood. Awakened at 4:15a.m. by a racket, I couldn’t help but notice it was unusual. A couple was engaged in a squall and had no qualms about sharing it with neighbors when they took it into the hallway. Based on what I overheard, if that relationship ...
Views: 773 - How to Have What You REALLY Want - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorThe first step towards a balanced life is to become clear on what it is that you really want. If you’re like most people, you tend to think that what you want is a thing like a house or car, a relationship, a particular job, or—fill in the blank. You may believe if you have the thing(s) you ...
Views: 755 - What If... - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorRecently, I read an article that was based on questions stated by two lead characters in a movie. The male lead was fretting over changes and pending changes in his life, and kept saying to his wife, “What if it all goes wrong?” Her response was always, “What if it all goes right?” I’d had a ...
Views: 585 - The Turning Point - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book Doctor“A crisis only becomes a breaking point when we fail to use it as a turning point,” wrote Guy Finley recently. His words, words of others, and inspirational and funny videos that began to fill my in-box were responses to a silent request I made the other day when I came face-to-face with an ...
Views: 744 - See You in the Konga Line - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2007 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorI learned about a great bumper sticker: “Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.” The same day I saw the bumper sticker phrase, I got an email from a friend telling me about how life is not working and the reasons why. I didn’t find one “can” in there or “I intend.” ...
Views: 1349 - No Mistakes - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2006 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorWhat might life look like if we held the belief that there are no mistakes? For some, this concept is, well, inconceivable. At first blush, it may even seem as though it excuses every thought, word, and action. Not really. A friend of mine once said, “I’m beginning to believe the only thing to ...
Views: 891 - Fearless Living - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2006 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorFear is natural and necessary. Why? It helps keep us safe. But, fear is supposed to protect us from danger, not keep us from living fulfilling lives. My Life Coach training was through iPEC (Institute for Professional Empowerment Coaching). Bruce Schneider, founder, presented keys to success ...
Views: 903 - Gratitude...or Appreciation - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2006 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorA funny thing happened on the way to writing an article about Gratitude. I changed my consciousness. For quite a while, I’ve been attaching "I am grateful for"in front of all of my affirmations. I had heard, and accepted, the words of others who spoke about the importance of gratitude. But ...
Views: 748 - The Trouble with Being Perfect - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2005 from Joyce Shafer, Book DoctorAsk someone to walk to the moon and you’ll hear, “Not realistic,” as a response. They wouldn’t have a problem giving that answer. Ask some people to be perfect and you can almost hear the inner and outer dialogue start — “You have no idea how hard I try to be just that.” This person might even ...
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