Life Transitions Articles

Don’t let a major life setback drag you down. Life isn’t always a bed roses. Sometimes things happen that we totally didn’t see coming and couldn’t have prevented. Maybe it’s the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, being rejected by your dream school, or the sting of a business failure. Whatever the situation, it can really do significant damage to your confidence and esteem. A major life setback, however, does not have to be the end of the story. It does not

One the many problems of living in an image-based, superficial culture is that we learn to take life at face value. You have a dream about having sex with someone other than your partner and you latch onto the most obvious interpretation that you secretly want to have sex with someone else. You find yourself obsessively thinking about your ex and you assume it means you still want to be with him or her. You bolt awake in the middle of the night with unexpected doubt about whether you love your partner enough and you assume that you don’t love your partner enough.

Most people are familiar with the heart-aching pain of grief. Most people can identify the empty thud of loneliness. Most people know when they've been pricked by the green-eyed monster of jealousy, or taken under the thick, gray blanket of shame. But how often do we talk about longing?

If you are anything like me, life has given you plenty of opportunities for starting over. I’ve had lots of chances to start over—I moved every three years during my 30+ year career with the Central Intelligence Agency. When I hit the four-year mark of living in Denver, I realized it was the longest I’d lived anywhere since going to college at Penn State. If I’m being completely honest with you, each move had a modicum of fear involved. Would I like my new home, frien

One of the slogans in the 12-step programs is One Day At A Time. In the life of someone enduring a transition - whether in the midst of a break up, becoming a mother, trying to conceive, or retiring - a more appropriate and helpful phrase is One Moment At A Time.

"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home." — Edith Sitwell This quote is so apt but when the winds are so chilly, every plan gets shelved. The worst of all is the fact that our sleep gets impaired. When winters arrive, they bring cooler temperature and minimum daylight. Also, the cold temperature and chilly winds disrupt our sleep schedule. It has been observed that we

We all carry within us a well of Self. We can’t see this well, but we know when the waters are clear and full or when they’re low and flecked with the dark matter of the lies we tell ourselves about ourselves. We know when the waters are warm from the time, interest, and compassion we pour into ourselves or cold from being ignored. Like a child, the Self thrives under the sunlight of focused and loving attention, and withdraws when you, as the loving parent, make everything else in your life more important.

Inspired by the courageous, wise members of my July 2014 Trust Yourself program. Quotes from the forum reprinted with permission. *** My family and I were driving into town last summer when we saw a blue van pass by with the words “Mr. Pool” printed on the side. “There goes Mr. Pool,” I said, as we had just hired him to finish hooking up our pool heater. And I had this moment of appreciation for the person who started Mr. Pool.

The founder of the Hospice movement, Dame Cicely Saunders, identified four important human tasks that people want to complete during the process of dying. They are: • To say ‘goodbye’ – to people, animals and things that have been important to them • To say ‘thank you’ – for a life together, for help and care provided, perhaps particularly in this last period when extra care has very often been needed. • To say ‘sorry’ – perhaps for failings or slights or demands, or especially for being difficult to live with, in the last illness. • To say ‘I love you’.r

Whether it’s the anniversary of a public event like the Boston Marathon bombings or the Columbine shootings, or a not-so-public anniversary of a friend or neighbor’s tragedy, it’s important to reach out and show that you have not forgotten. Many folks will jump in to help right away and that is so necessary, but there is always an opportunity to show that you are still remembering much later. So, what can we do months or even years down the road? Remember the anniversar

“Perfection is for the Gods; completeness and wholeness is the most humans can hope for.” – Marion Woodman

While Valentine's Day can be the most romantic day of the year for some of us, it can be downright torture for anyone who's single, especially if they are single. Especially newly single. Any woman who has been recently divorced needs to find a way to "turn it around" and make it a day to enjoy and celebrate her "newly-liberated" status! The trick, is to remember that you are in charge of your happiness and destiny. "Indulge yourself during these times.

I used to pass by this fly-over bridge to and from work while still employed as a call-center agent. Very visible from the top was a triangular billboard structure designed to present one face to the traffic coming up and another face when going down. The advertisements were for a Christian FM station, judging from the exhortations, auspiciously encouraging people to listen to inspired music. Smaller boards were posted below the main signs, each of which contains a popular bible verse. One of these quotes was “Come unto me, all you heavily laden, and I will give you rest”.

A catastrophic event often leaves you in a state of shock, feeling as if your life has been turned upside-down. Considering that these events often take you completely by surprise, it’s natural to feel this way. It could seem that your life will never be the same, and you’ll wonder if you’re ever going to feel like yourself again. As hard as it is when catastrophe strikes, it’s vital to remember that things will turn around for you if you keep moving forward. Here are

I was in my thirties before I realised that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, and it’s a sad fact that many women don’t realise they are. I’ve now learned what a respectful relationship consists of. I know that every relationship is different and everyone’s experiences are different, but for the sake of this article and because I want to help you I will list a few things that I was putting up with. This may be what you are experiencing or this may be similar to what you are experiencing.

My son is still struggling with his nighttime fears. He’s been engaged in this battle for a year and a half and, while he’s no longer in a state of terror, the fear creeps up steadily enough to prevent him from falling asleep easily. We’ve introduced him to every technique and tool we can think of to manage the fear, from talking about it to guided imagination work where I’ve led him to his “special place” and taught him to invite magical friends to advise him on the fear.

A friend of mine asked me how I feel about success and balancing my hectic schedule. To me one of the key factors is developing my self-awareness.¹ Why is self-awareness such a key factor? We all measure success differently.² Maybe you want to change something in your life. So you begin to search. You go to the book store or a class to seek out that illusive something. You start a new exercise program, new diet or new hobby. Your body starts to come alive, you feel younger; your clothes fit differently and as your perspective changes you are discovering self-awareness.

Miracles are all around us. They are so numerous and common that they have become unnoticed in the daily round of existence. Take for example: the incomparable beauty of a flower or intricate web of a leaf, the astonishing diversity and prevalence of life forms in the world, the mathematical precision of earth location parameters in the universe.

The holidays are supposed to be a happy time of the year. We have time off, we get to see our families, our kids are excited about this magical time of the year, etc. But for many people the holidays only mean stress, anxiety, and grief. If you have lost a loved one, you may be experiencing this grief already. I call it holiday grief. It is most prevalent if you have lost someone in the past year, but it can stay with us year after year after year. We don't realize what an impact it makes on our ability to be happy when we are still holding on to grief.

“I’m just an anxious person,” I often hear my clients and program members say. The statement underlines a common globalization belief intrinsic to many who struggle with anxiety, which is: I’m anxious, I’ve always been anxious and I’ll always be anxious. In other words, anxiety is just in my wiring and it’s here to stay.

A few weeks ago my family and I spent five days up in the mountains. Overall, it was a lovely vacation, with much laughter, hiking, game-playing, and boating. But for some reason my husband and I were in one those spells when we bumped heads at some point each day. Perhaps it was hormones or lack of sleep; whatever the cause we weren’t in our best flow.

Top of the morning to you! Hi there! Good morning! Morning! These are some of the few ways I greet you online and in person. Sometimes, it’s accompanied with a hug, but always with high energy and a big smile. So, this morning I hope you feel my sheer joy, enthusiasm and thankfulness to you, as I help you start your Monday on a favorable note.

Lesso 4 It is All About the “WHY” Yes, you read it right. It is all about the WHY! A strong enough Why will pull you through every situation and will make you a true conqueror and victor in every occasion. It will lift you far above the average. It makes you go where others stop. It pulls you though the swamps of life when others get stuck, lost or drowned. I can almost hear what many readers are thinking…“Is this it? How can these words bring all the lofty promises you ju

These are statements I hear quite often in my practice: I feel like I’m lying when I say I love you to my partner. I feel like a fake, an imposter, like I’m leading him/her on. If I don’t feel love, how can I say it? And I’m not always feeling it. In fact, it seems like more often than not I’m not feeling in love, or loving feelings at all. So how can I be genuine and say I love you?

Your career is like a ship and you're the captain. You can drift along or take command to guide it in a clear and positive direction. These are some suggestions for setting your course and sticking to it so you so wind up where you want to go. Setting a Course for Your Career 1. Conduct a thorough self-assessment. Think about your interests and skills. Consider what you're good at and what you like doing. Maybe you like working independently or perform best when you're part of a team.

A few weeks ago I met with two women from my spirituality group. They had never been to my home, and as we stepped onto the deck to begin our meeting they both remarked on the beauty of our land. I found myself qualifying and explaining about the dirt and weeds: “It was a lot more beautiful before the flood,” I said. But they both replied with, “You can feel the beauty. It’s still here.”

The Corridor Principal Did you know that when you launch out on your goal or vision the moment you take your first step in that direction you are thrusting yourself into a corridor. A hallway with many doors, the funny thing is that you won’t see the doors till you get closer to them and only as you are walking. Stepping out in life, exposing your dreams and desires at first is scary. We’ve all been there, fewer might admit it, but the risk of being exposed can make your heart pound faster than blinking your eyes 10 times fast.

With the availability of the various online stores, now the new iPad keyboard case could be easily purchased at an affordable price that would protect it from all damages. IPad is yet another gadget launched that has cool, stylish and classy look that is a result of successful creations. The iPad is the latest tablet launched helping the people carrying on with their work also while traveling. This is ultra portable device that fits the user needs. Now these tablets could be

A number of things can shake up a person's life, but divorce is definitely one of the biggest. Whether you initiated it or not, dealing with the aftermath takes a great deal of emotional fortitude. nnMost people start to identify themselves in conjunction with their spouse, especially after several years of marriage. Having that identity wrested away in a divorce is a soul-shaking and world-shattering event. There is no more "family" the way you previously defined it, and it'

Oppis are a central feature of self-positioning. Oppis are opportunities. An opportunity is just that: a chance you can take, or not, as you wish. It is offered to you alongside many other opportunities: you take up the ones that are relevant to you, miss out on those that do not seem right for you at the moment. An oppi may not seem right for you now, but you may remember it, and come back to it. Or another one may come along that comes at the same issue from a different angle and appeals to you more.

Others believe that using lottery number analysis to make lottery predictions is entirely valid. Who's right? Many players are only left sitting on the fence without any clear path to follow. If you don't know where you stand, then, perhaps this article will reveal the truth and give you a clearer idea of who is right. The Controversy Over Making Lottery Predictions Here is the argument typically espoused by the lottery prediction skeptics. It goes something like this: Pred

How dare they. You spend your hard earned money on those books engaging and enticing you with the exciting new joys and opportunities awaiting you, and then the author sends you off into the world without a magic genie to grant your every wish! Wouldn’t that be great? Well, that is not how it works, nor is it intended to. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say- “I read that book. It was a great read, a lot of really powerful stuff. But my life didn’t change!” Of course it didn’t.

There is something indescribably beautiful about the Truth. Well, I’m sure there would be if it could be found. When I was seventeen, about to set off into the big wide world, finally on my own (well, besides the financial, emotional, and general all-round support of my parents), the pursuit of Truth was foremost in my mind. Years of Catholic schooling ensured that the way, the truth, and the light were inextricably linked. So of course my search for this elusive Holy Grail led me through lofty endeavours, deeds of goodness, places of purity.

When fear pricks the heart it flies in the face of every message about love we absorb from the culture: that love should provide a safe haven against the storms of life; that love should be easy; that love and fear are mutually exclusive, and that if fear enters the picture it means something is wrong.

Transitions, like grief, have their own timetable. Despite one's best efforts to rush along the difficult feelings and anxious thoughts, each person will traverse the terrain of transitions according to their own internal needs and rhythm. While major life transitions like getting married or becoming a parent usually follow a two year course (engagement to one year anniversary or pregnancy through baby's first birthday), this time frame can vary dramatically depending on the deeper issues that are triggered during the transition.

I wish I had been given one. I wish we all had been handed a Love Manual in a class in high school, and taken levels two and three in college. For there are basic laws and practices we could have learned that would have made the path of intimate relationship so much easier had we only been given the proper roadmap.

Last Monday, after a typical Colorado October snowstorm, my sons and I drove into town to serve dinner to the homeless. Consistent with this time of year, the snow started to melt just hours after it fell, and what was left was a stunning display of beauty where the golds and reds of autumn kissed the snow-covered foothills in the foreground with the pure white Rocky Mountains jutting up above it all. The juxtaposition of colors took my breath away and shook off the last shroud of the gray morning that had settled into my soul.

We are addicted to our stories. The thoughts come in and take us away on their magic carpet promise of arriving in a land of certainty, where the vulnerability and pain of life can't touch us.

We have an idea in this culture that you either have it or you don’t: You’re athletic or you’re clumsy; you’re a great orator or you stumble over words; you’re talented artistically or you can barely draw a stick figure; love comes easily to you or you struggle to find flow in relationships. While there’s no denying that people are born with gifts, there’s also no denying that with enough accurate information, support, and practice, you can excel at almost anything.

A baby is born. You gaze upon the baby and see an angel’s face, impossibly smooth skin still flecked with gold, hair like spun silk, clear eyes, and then the smile that breaks your heart into a thousand pieces. You see the inca ation of goodness, the flesh definition of purity and light. You see love. Can you imagine seeing a newbo baby and not seeing goodness? It’s impossible.

“A consistent soul believes in destiny, a capricious one in chance.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli “In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” ~ Anthony Robbins Being consistent is critical to on going and long-term success. It is easy to be a one-hit wonder; but manifesting prosperity means being consistent. The word “consistent” means “harmonious uniformity or agreement among things or parts” meaning the same throughout in structure or composition.

I’ve been thinking a lot about projection lately, especially since many of my engaged and newlywed clients have been perseverating on the thought, “I don’t love him/her.” This is such an important and complex topic that I’ve written about it several times, but let me say it more clearly here: Projection is a defense or an addiction against feeling the natural fear and grief associate with a transition and the anxiety, self-doubt, and old traumas around love of your wounded self.

Somewhere along the road of childhood into adolescence, a belief is transmitted that says: Follow the roadmap that culture presents and you will find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. This roadmap looks like: Graduate from a 4-year university, land a corporate job then climb the ladder, get married, buy a house, then have a couple of kids (in that order).

When I first began doing research for Conscious Motherhood - both the book (yet to be published) and the website - I was struck by the recurrent theme among new parents about how challenging it was to let go.

At some point in my counseling work, I hear a recurrent belief or thought that surfaces for my clients. It’s the belief that tends to wreak havoc on my client’s psyche, the one that’s been with him or her since childhood. Most people are so fused with this false belief or negative thought that they can’t even hear it. It’s like the news banner that runs across the bottom of the TV screen: you know it’s there and you subconsciously absorb the information but you don’t give it much thought. In other words, it’s always in the background, like a running commentary.

Prosperity can be whatever you deem it to be, but what is a mindset? A mindset is defined as: “a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations.” How do you feel about making money? Does the idea of being rich turn you off? A prosperity mindset encourages you to take action each day to improve your life on numerous levels, such as health, wealth, love or anything else you deem important. You must have the right mindset to succeed.r

Does that feel familiar? When did it happen that everything you thought you wanted when you were in your blooming 20s has either come to pass – and passed on by - or has lost it’s allure, or you’ve outgrown it? It happens to all of us at some level. Some are more conscious of the discomfort than others and are willing to look at it squarely and address it. Others go on trying to recapture the lost glitter forever (yikes! Grandmas in hotpants, etc.) And some just give in and

I was having a discussion with a colleague of mine about a week ago. He was sharing with me recent experiences his son had gone through in interviewing for internship employment for the summer. While the experience had not gone the way the son had wanted in that he did not get the position he sought, his dad did impart upon him a bit of wisdom that when he repeated it to me, really made an impression upon me. The father’s exact words were, “Remember a no is an opportunity for

HOLISTIC STRESS MANAGEMENT There are times in our lives when nothing works. When you feel that no matter what you do, things will never get better. That your life can not possibly change. When you have these feelings there are some things you can do to overcome them. Here is a list of tips to help you “work through the bad times”.