It is normal for couples to have differences in their sexual desire. It is important for couples to begin by having a honest discussion with how often they need to have sex versus how often they would ideally like to have sex. There needs to be a conversation about the role sex plays in a ... Views: 1656
What the hug is saying that you are missing.
1. A hug that’s followed by a thump on the back
A thump on the back above or below shoulders is more of a friendly or ” hey how you been ” hug. This is an indication of discomfort with hugging you or with your closeness. However not all back ... Views: 1325
An orgasm is not just a physical experience, it happens in your body, mind, possibly even spirit. And there is no single definition of orgasm. Some tell tale signs of an orgasmic response might include increased heart rate and blood pressure, increased muscle tension, a flush of her skin, as ... Views: 1129
Some sexually transmitted infections can be passed on orally, so it’s a good idea to put on a condom for oral sex. Flavoured condoms would be the same strength as well as gone through the same rigorous testing as the normal condoms so you shouldn’t worry about it at all. There is a chance of the ... Views: 2981
On women’s health "down there".
1. Get familiar with what you are ‘normally’ like ‘down there’ – from the look, smell and even taste. Check daily when you go to the toilet. This way, you are aware when there is any out of the ordinary vaginal discharge.
2. Avoid bath oils, perfumed ... Views: 978
It is easy to point the finger elsewhere and say it is the men’s fault. For every man who we say is making a mistake, there are three fingers pointing back at you. Really, since men are not mind readers (though we would like them to be), we have to communicate. Men won’t be making ‘mistakes’ if ... Views: 1279
How do you know your sex life back on track?
It depends on what aspect of her sexuality she is not happy with. If she is not receiving sexual pleasure the way she would prefer, she needs to be first looking at what are some possible reasons she is not asking for what she likes. Does she know ... Views: 1091
The first thing we should know that the monogamous model for relationship has not existed through all societies and time. More so in our Asian culture, we are exposed to concepts like polygamy where Muslim men can have up to four wives; and patriarchal systems where the father or eldest male is ... Views: 1019
What’s the best way a guy who has been out of the dating scene for some time can get back in the game?
Before venturing out into the dating world, take time to figure out who you are and what you are about such as listing a personal inventory of goals, lifestyle priorities, what works and ... Views: 1027
Am I doing alright in bed? How can I tell?
We get turned on through our senses – seeing, feeling, touching, smelling, tasting, hearing – and through thought or fantasy. When we begin active sexual movements, we feel the flow of pleasurable feelings centering in the genitals and abdomen. The ... Views: 1181
The ear is one of the erogenous centres of a woman’s body. Since ears are very sensitive, touching, kissing, sucking and even gently biting her earlobes, can send her into a sexual tizzy.
Turn up the temperature by touching her ear with your fingers and tongue, followed by small, slow ... Views: 4353
What are some tips on the ways a guy can impress a girl with the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner date?
Generally, women’s sexual fantasies tend to be filled with more romantic interludes. The whole works would mean: the perfect venue for that perfect date – a 5-star hotel, an elite restaurant, ... Views: 984
How much you reveal to your partner has a lot to do with what kind of a relationship you want. If you want an honest and open relationship, then it is important you are as honest and open as you possibly can. Your past is a part of where you have been, and may not be representative of who you ... Views: 986
This piece first appeared on the Good Vibrations Magazine.
The trailer of the new Singaporean film ‘When Hainan Meets Teochew’ was enough to persuade me that I had to watch it. The movie was premised as a romantic comedy between a ‘manly’ woman, and a ‘womanly’ man, as opposed to the usual ... Views: 1970
This article first appeared on Good Vibrations Magazine.
If you have been following my blog here, you may recall a previous post where I mentioned looking forward to watching an 83-minute feature film/documentary called Cowboys in Paradise.
This is a controversial work because this is the ... Views: 3459
When I was little, all I wanted was to grow up. Grown-ups rule the world – from controlling the television remote and operating all kinds of cool gadgets to being able to choose the time they went to bed. And then there is always the sentence “You will know when you grow up,” that made adulthood ... Views: 1013
Living in harmony with nature’s rhythms and gifts is not easy in a heavily-developed world. Nature can be very helpful in restoring sensory, behavioural and emotional balance. Are we listening?
We are constantly exposed to additives, preservatives, chemicals, artificial atmospheric and ... Views: 1100
How much of erectile dysfunction is biological and how much of it is psychological?
Erectile dysfunction, sometimes known as impotence, is attributed to physical causes in up to 85% of cases. Medical conditions linked to erectile concerns include heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, ... Views: 1270
For the longest time, being a woman, to me, meant being:
-seen and not heard;
-expected to help, serve (for instance cook, clean, iron) and please people around me, especially the men;
-fertile, and being expected to bear children.
-expected to look good, smell nice, and happy and positive ... Views: 1204
His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage – Fifteenth Anniversary Edition (2001) by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
Most of us are probably familiar with ‘The Five Languages of Love’ by Gary Chapman. These “Five Love Languages” have been useful in helping people speak and understand ... Views: 2862
Book Review: Shameless – How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure… and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner by Pamela Madsen
I fell in ‘like’ with Pamela Madsen even before I heard about or read her first book Shameless. It happened when she shared her blog post ‘My Mother ... Views: 1544
The Joy of Sex: A Gourmet Guide to Love Making by Alex Comfort
This original The Joy of Sex, first published in 1972, has often been credited with inventing the modern sex manual and enjoyed unprecedented success world-wide gracing 8 million homes. Illustrated with line-drawings and ... Views: 2488
Red Hot Touch: A Head-to-Toe Handbook for Mind-Blowing Orgasms by Jaiya and Jon Hanauer
Red Hot Touch is sizzling hot! It is possibly the modern-day equivalent of The Joy of Sex. The writing is fresh and playful; the content is incredibly useful and informative; and the techniques are ... Views: 3607
The Erotic Mind: Unlock the Inner Sources of Sexual Passion and Fulfillment by Jack Morin
In this intriguing, insightful mix of analysis, anecdote and advice, San Francisco psychotherapist Morin developed an ‘erotic equation’ by drawing on the discussions of 351 respondents, straight and gay. ... Views: 2607
‘Stand by Her: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men’ is a book by one brave man for other men who are witnessing their loved one fighting breast cancer and how to support them. These men can be their husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, friends, and coworkers.
Written by John Anderson who has helped ... Views: 1200
I was drawn to the book Sitting Moon: A Guide to Natural Rejuvenation After Pregnancy at the library. It has in part to do with the professional-looking cover with a white background, as well as the sub-title: ‘Natural Rejuvenation’. Natural is always good, I thought. Another factor probably ... Views: 2312
The cover of book Impossible Motherhood is simple but alluring. It traces the outline of a woman with two lines, with the title and sub-title ‘Testimony of an Abortion Addict’ located where the pubic mons is. Then, there are three sets of red lines (each set has four lines with a fifth line ... Views: 1325
Women Who Love Sex: Ordinary Women Describe Their Paths to Pleasure, Intimacy, and Ecstasy, by Gina Ogden
Once I started reading the book, I did not want to put it down. It is beautifully and succinctly written by a woman who has had to deal with her own inner ‘ghosts’ and discomforts with ... Views: 2146
For most people, sex is a sensitive and difficult subject to talk about.
I have come across a man who, after 15 years of marriage, admitted that he and his wife have never talked about sex. Don’t get me wrong. They do have sex. They just don’t talk about it.
In other words, they never ... Views: 1136
Recently a girlfriend admitted that until she met me, she had always thought that vaginismus was a myth – a disease that was made up, or had been eradicated in the ’80s, and most definitely did not exist in modern day.
In fact, vaginismus is a very real sexual concern that women experience, ... Views: 2588
Sex is a learned act. That’s right: l-e-a-r-n-e-d.
I remember contributing an article to an online portal a few months back. I had written the sentence: “For most people, sex is a learned act.” When the portal owner’s edits come back, she had written: “Don’t you mean, ‘For most people, sex is ... Views: 1010
I didn’t know I had a vulva until I went to sex school.
Don’t get me wrong. Of course, I do have a vulva (pronounced as ‘vuhl-vah’) and a vagina (pronounced ‘vha-gine-a’). I just didn’t know what they were called. I couldn’t even pronounce the word penis (pronounced as ‘pee-nis’) for that ... Views: 2487
You might have come across the term ‘Coming out’. What does it mean?
It is a figure of speech used by the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in disclosing their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Also referred to as ‘Coming out of the closet’, the beginning of ... Views: 1007
A few weeks ago, while watching ‘Robin Hood’ starring Russell Crowe, I found myself cringing at the predictability of the plot. I am usually not so squeamish about my buttons being so obviously pushed. However, I walked away from the experience with a few observations about the preparation of ... Views: 3052
Is it possible to get better, ‘betterer’ and ‘betterest’ when it comes to sex?
A certain Singapore minister was cited in the media as saying, “If you’re the best today, strive to be better. If you’re better today, strive to be ‘betterer’ and if you’re ‘betterer’ today, strive to be ... Views: 1212
Recently, I attended a men’s health forum on erectile difficulties. There were three male speakers scheduled, all of whom were medical doctors. Being a sexologist, I was always keen to learn more in the area of sexual dysfunction.
I had pre-registered for the event and was queuing to sign in. ... Views: 704
When I was in my third semester studying for my Doctorate in Human Sexuality, I went to the Florida Sex Therapy Institute to complete a Certificate in Sex Therapy. Dr Susan Lee, my teacher, introduced me to her clients I bumped into and her counterparts as ‘Dr Lee’.
My first reaction was ... Views: 1021
What is the relationship between sex and durians? Is there any at all?
Since I am paid for my time, I like to use metaphors and analogies to make sure that I get my intended message across in the most effective way in the shortest amount of time. This has a lot to do with my first career in ... Views: 1060
I had tuition from when I was in Primary One until Secondary Four. My younger sister started from when she was Kindergarten Two. She started early because she wouldn’t leave me alone during my tuition lessons – insisting on playing with me, talking with me, peeping on me – she felt left ... Views: 983
I was on the MRT train with a new friend the other day, and he asked me what caused my marriage to end.
We were both standing, dangling from different handrail supports. I looked around. We were surrounded by a lot of other commuters. This person is not exactly soft-spoken either.
I ... Views: 1828
We are inundated, on a daily basis, with multiple messages about how our bodies can or should look better from slimming and facials to skin whitening and body hair removal. There is just so much we can be unhappy with when it comes to your bodies. How can we ever be happy with the way we look, ... Views: 1231
Have you ever poured ‘cold water’ over somebody else’s happiness?
In a literal translation from the Chinese language, ‘pouring cold water’ means dousing the flames of passion. This usually happens when the opposite party is feeling elated about a new love, promotion or business deal, and ... Views: 729
If you accidentally touched a hot stove, the nerves in your skin would shoot a message of pain to your brain. The brain then sends a message back telling the muscles in your hand to pull away. Is that a bad thing?
No, you would answer. What a ridiculous question, you might retort. Hear me ... Views: 1099
Touch is the medium through which we first become acquainted with the world. It is the first means of communication between the newborn baby and the mother. Research has shown that many babies who are raised in an orphanage and are not handled and touched on a regular basis rarely live past the ... Views: 913
Anxiety is a normal part of life. We all have experienced anxiety at some point of our lives. In fact, anxiety is one mechanism that evolved to keep us alert and help us cope in stressful events or situations. More specifically, performance anxiety refers to self-consciousness about the quality ... Views: 1001
I am a sexologist. Since I am the only one with this unique combination of qualification and training in Singapore, there exists a lot of confusion about what exactly a sexologist does within our little city/state. Not only that, I have my share of detractors who think I am a ‘joke’, only about ... Views: 2403
Released in 1992, ‘The Best Things in Life Are Free’ is a song by Janet Jackson and Luther Vandross. The song went to number one on the R&B singles chart and debuted at number 24 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 the week of May 30, 1992.
Three weeks later, the song peaked at number 10 for three ... Views: 884
According to a new research study in the UK (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1341660/Six-10-women-dont-like-eating-partners.html?ITO=1490), more than 60 percent of British women in relationships do not feel comfortable eating in front of their partner, and almost half get shy when ... Views: 1086
As the Lion City’s only clinical sexologist with a doctorate in human sexuality, I have often been asked by journalists, friends, and complete strangers to share my thoughts about what I felt was my most bizarre/ interesting/ fulfilling case.
I could become the next media darling or belle of ... Views: 1208
Gentlemen prefer blondes? All blondes are dumb? All redheads are passionate? A man is always sex-, porn- and/ or looks-obsessed? Therefore, he is expected to sow his wild oats? The gay person is promiscuous? A woman is seductive when she is slim, and that’s why every woman wants to be slim—so ... Views: 781