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Domestic Violence and Abusive Relationships Articles
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- Dear Dr. Romance: He pushed me to tears - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Thank you for the Fair Fight Guidelines. I found a lot of wisdom and thoughtfulness in them. I hope my husband will agree. That said, I don't know what you mean by "rage is phony; it's drama created by not taking care of yourself." If a ...
Views: 1298(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: How Can I stop a stalker? - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2018 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Are you familiar with men who won't leave women alone? I'm just trying to understand why someone would STALK me for well over a decade and, during that time, systematically destroy my life because I refused to be in an abusive relationship with him. He didn't seem to ...
Views: 915(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I am a Native American woman who has been abused and betrayed - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2020 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a native American woman who has been abused and betrayed by my husband. He was my coresearcher and advisor for several ...
Views: 1155(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel like I am a maid and a sex toy not a wife - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance:Me and my husband just recently celebrated our 20 year anniversary. I bought my husband a small gift and when I ask what he got me- he told me I was not worth getting anything. This really hurt, my husband does not show any kind of affection or consideration for other ...
Views: 1409(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel my sister's life is in danger - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2019 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I recently stumbled upon your article "Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence." The information you provided resounded heartily with me. Last fall my brother in law discharged a weapon DIRECTLY NEXT to my sisters head. She was 8 months pregnant at the ...
Views: 994(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I grew up with a mother who said hateful things - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2018 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I really need your help. Could you please recommend one of your books for myself. I grew up in a home with a mother who was famous for saying hateful things that she didn't mean when she was mad. Lately I am doing the very same thing. I am newly married and I love my ...
Views: 1214(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I have a family member with two failed marriages - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have a family member with two failed marriages, after she asked for my advice I suggested a spousal abuse counselor for therapy. She didn't receive counseling and went on to a second failed marriage. This time even worse than the first. She doesn't understand the ...
Views: 1460(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I have been hit, controlled and manuipulated (by husband and in-laws) - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am writing to you for some advice... I hope you can help. I am the mother of 5 children, in my mid-thirties, and married for about 10 years. I have been abused for years. People I know tell me to fix my marriage that "You could've handled this better or that." I don't ...
Views: 1272(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I was beaten unconscious by a convicted sex offender - by Submitted on Mar 02, 2018 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was beaten unconcious by a client. He is a convicted sex offender and gang member who has been put in jail and let out many times for crimes against women. He has told people he is going to kill me. I continue to go to court on the issue and they simply won't help me and say ...
Views: 1077(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I went through hell on earth with him until he quit drinking. - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2018 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I had two divorces, and both men turned out to be gay. By this time my self esteem was shattered, I felt there was something wrong with me. To make a long story short, I basically started dating and slept with men, just because they showed they desired me. ...
Views: 1014(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: If I am not strong, I cannot be an example for my children - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2020 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am mid-thirties mom with 3 children looking to divorce. I read your article "Family Violence Q & A" and I decided to write to you for help to stand on my feet again. I was a homemaker since I had my first child, but had lived very unfulfilled ...
Views: 974(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: My ex is violent, abusive and obsessed with me - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2020 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your post on line about How Not to Repeat Past Relationship Mistakes, and it answered a lot of questions that I have about my ex husband. We were married for 10 years. He's violent, abusive and obsessed with me. I have dealt with him for the almost 3 years ...
Views: 862(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: This roller coaster of emotions has changed me. - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance:My husband has always suffered from abandonment issues. His mother & maternal grandmother were abusive and non-nurturing. They dangled the carrot of money as his reward but criticized him for everything about himself and cited the reason he helped them and ...
Views: 1222(1 vote) - DENIAL OF BAD BEHAVIOR – WHAT YOU CAN DO - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2018 from Darlene LancerDenial is serious. It’s a refusal to acknowledge truth or reality. It can have benefits, but denial can also be our undoing and have life-threatening consequences. It affects not only individuals. Denial in the form of "group-think" can dangerously take over families and entire groups. ...
Views: 1381(2 votes) - Difference between a Strong Ego, Weak Ego, and Big Ego - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2024 from Darlene LancerThe term "ego" has a bad rep, but in fact, having a strong ego indicates mental health in contrast to a weak or big ego. In Freud's structural model of the psyche, "I" was translated to the Latin, "ego." Unlike the primitive "id" seen in infants, the ego develops in stages and represents the ...
Views: 305(1 vote) - Difference between a Strong Ego, Weak Ego, and Big Ego - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2024 from Darlene LancerThe term "ego" has a bad rep, but in fact, having a strong ego indicates mental health in contrast to a weak or big ego. In Freud's structural model of the psyche, "I" was translated to the Latin, "ego." Unlike the primitive "id" seen in infants, the ego develops in stages and represents the ...
Views: 308(2 votes) - Divorce Issue #1 Question and Answer - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2011 from Jackie PaulsonI want to file for a divorce. Do you want to Hire an Attorney or Pro Se? What am I entitled to after 10 years of marriage in Illinois? Divorce laws regarding property division in Illinois do not presume that property will be divided 50 / 50. Illinois is not a “community property state – it is ...
Views: 4167(1 vote) - Do You Love a Narcissist? - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2011 from Darlene LancerIt’s easy to fall in love with narcissists. Their charm, talent, success, beauty, and charisma cast a spell, along with compliments, scintillating conversation, and even apparent interest in you. Perhaps you were embarrassed when your mate cut in front of the line or shuddered at the dismissive ...
Views: 3032(2 votes) - Do's and Don'ts in Confronting Abuse | What Is Codependency? - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2018 from Darlene LancerAbuse is about having power over someone. Abusers typically want to feel superior and to control and dominate. To them, communication is not about understanding. It’s a win-lose game. They use verbal abuse and/or violence to accomplish this. They’re frequently self-centered, impatient, ...
Views: 1254(3 votes) - Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on May 08, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"Never make yourself feel like nothing, to make someone else feel like everything!" Rationalizing has to be prevalent when there is Domestic Abuse because how else could you convince yourself to stay. First you have to recognize that you are being emotionally, physically and or sexually ...
Views: 1325(1 vote) - Domestic Abuse: What Everyone Needs to Know - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2013 from Janet PfeifferDomestic abuse is one of the most serious epidemics modern society faces today. With 1/3 of all women reporting incidences of violence in the home and/or in intimate relationships (this does not reflect the numbers that go unreported nor those of men being abused), no socio-economic group, ...
Views: 1754(1 vote) - Domestic Violence Is Not Just The NFL’s Problem - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2014 from Noelle NelsonDespite how it appears on the 24-hour news channels, domestic violence is not likely to be any more prevalent between professional athletes and their partners as in relationships in other segments of society. Domestic violence can happen to anyone at any time and does not respect age, gender, ...
Views: 1428(1 vote) - Domestic Violence Prevention: The Final Article in This Series of Six on Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2011 from Gayle Joplin Hall“We must help the victims of domestic violence look into the mirror and name this problem so they can begin receiving help. Education is the key in the class rooms across the nation, to discuss domestic violence and date rape, train our family counselors and therapists, and others who are not ...
Views: 1072(1 vote) - Domestic Violence Victims and Soldiers--What Do They Have in Common? - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2011 from Gayle Joplin Hall“A battlefield is a battlefield. I don’t care where you are fighting it. Unless you have lived through fearing for your life on a nightly basis, you cannot imagine what war is like." - Dr. Gayle J. Hall. A victim of domestic violence fights for her life on a daily basis, just like a soldier ...
Views: 1918(1 vote) - Domestic Violence: Descriptions of Physical, Emotional, and Psychological Abuse—Part Two, in a Series of Six. - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2011 from Gayle Joplin Hall“Even to this day, it is difficult to discuss with some people and provide vivid descriptions what really happens in a domestic violent situation. This is because some do not want to hear the truth and the facts. More than ever before, I feel it is my duty to tell, to inform, to educate, anyone ...
Views: 1466(1 vote) - Domestic Violence: The Downfall of Domestic Violence—Part Five, in a Series of Six. - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2011 from Gayle Joplin Hall“I am a survivor of domestic violence. Three of my closest and dearest friends never knew the hell I lived through during my battlefield. Victims are the best at hiding our secrets from the world. Our shame and blame defines us, strips our souls, and masks our identities.” – Dr. Gayle J. ...
Views: 1393(1 vote) - Domestic Violence: What It Is--Part One, in a Series of Six - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2011 from Gayle Joplin Hall“When I used to hear stories about men beating up their wives, I figured the wives were cheating around. I never, ever, heard my father raise his voice to my mother, so this was foreign to me. What goes on behind closed doors is someone’s own business, right?” – Dr. Gayle J. Hall, (my thoughts ...
Views: 1770(1 vote) - Don’t Love Me to Death, Love Me to Life Let Me Leave - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2011 from Sebastian K. YoungWomen beware of men who feel inferior to you. Men that feel like they are inferior are deadly and their thinking process can be very twisted. It does not take much to set them off because they have a hairline trigger mindset. The inferior man always thinks that everyone is against him. They are ...
Views: 1752(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2013 from Tina TessinaLast month, Dr. Romance received the following letter from a reader: “A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomenon which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated...even abused...by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a ...
Views: 1573(1 vote) - Elder Abuse, Alzheimers and Our Aging Population - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossWhile taken seriously enough to be a legally reportable offense categorized alongside child abuse as either a misdemeanor or a felony - elder abuse does not seem to be taken as seriously by the public. Perhaps elders do not appear to be as helpless as children, but many times they are. And if ...
Views: 1647(1 vote) - Emotional Abuse: Beneath Your Radar? - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2010 from Darlene LancerThere are three million cases of domestic violence reported each year. Many more go unreported. Emotional abuse precedes violence, but is rarely discussed. Although both men and women may abuse others, an enormous number of women are subjected to emotional abuse. Unfortunately, many don’t even ...
Views: 2974(3 votes) - Emotional Abuse: The invisible Killer - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe name of this article might sound a bit extreme and over the top, however I thought it was relevant to create awareness around this often overlooked area. This is a general description of Emotional Abuse, which is based on my current awareness and observations. Physical Abuse Very ...
Views: 2714(1 vote) - Even the best relationships come to an end! - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from Dr. D. Ivan YoungChances are, that relationship you’re ending has been knocking at death’s door for quite some time now or should never have begun to start with. The handwriting has been on the wall but you didn’t have the courage to say that it’s over. Bad advice from your peers, relatives and ...
Views: 3105(2 votes) - False Beliefs - Part 1 - It's My Fault! - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2011 from Rachel GrantToday, as we explore some of the false beliefs or stories that result from trauma, bad experiences or abuse, we need to pay particular attention to two of the most common stories that often show up. These particular false beliefs provided, in the moment, protection and helped us survive the ...
Views: 1726(1 vote) - Family Violence Q&A - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaQ: My spouse and I often have arguments over the “small stuff.” How do we get past this so that we are not constantly bickering? A: I’ll bet neither of you would argue with your boss or work colleagues, or your children’s teachers the way you argue with ...
Views: 1848(1 vote) - Four Steps to Help Put an End to Domestic Violence in Honor of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2011 from Dan GriffinDid you know that October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month? Did you know that the ribbon for preventing domestic violence is purple? Did you see any purple ribbons this October? You probably saw a lot of pink ribbons. While breast cancer is a very serious issue that deserves the ...
Views: 1233(1 vote) - Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaLast month, I received the following letter from an old friend, Lloyd Barnhart. "A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomena which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated…even abused…by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a ...
Views: 1816(1 vote) - Group Therapy for Adults Abused As Children - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossGroup therapy can be the most nurturing and also the most challenging form of therapy. It is highly effective. While it doesn’t replace individual therapy, it can be a great adjunct and a final step in the healing process. Group therapy is very relevant for survivors of childhood abuse and ...
Views: 1950(1 vote) - He Left Me For Someone Else Will It Last: My Boyfriend Left Me For Another Woman Will It Last - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2019 from Lyra NoaHe Left Me For Someone Else Will It Last: My Boyfriend Left Me For Another Woman Will It Last When my boyfriend broke up with me for another woman I was shocked. I thought he loved me. He didn't tell me the exact reason for our break up, but it didn't take long before I saw him out and about ...
Views: 1461(1 vote) - Healing the Effects of Abuse - by Submitted on May 21, 2011 from Dr. Carolyn PorterYou are magnificent! In fact, you are absolutely a fabulous, unique, one-of-a-kind masterpiece, and you are priceless! Has anyone ever told you that? Beginning right now, at this very minute, I am asking you to begin saying this to yourself every day until you believe it. Why? Because it is the ...
Views: 1811(1 vote) - Help! My friend is in an abusive relationship! - by Submitted on Aug 30, 2013 from Heather WattersThis is very common, so we should all understand what we are dealing with here. This is virus that once you have been exposed, it takes over your body and effects you to the point of near death. We should all think of this like the plague. It can happen to anyone if you get close ...
Views: 1224(2 votes) - How Not to Fight: Myths about Fighting In Relationships (And What to Do about Them) - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my counseling practice, couples are often surprised to learn they can communicate and solve problems effectively without fighting; but sometimes you may find it’s not so easy to give up your struggles. You may have trouble letting go of the fighting habit because of two factors: social ...
Views: 2675(2 votes) - How Substance Abuse Can Affect Your Life - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2020 from Kalyna KapurAlcohol is quite a common substance of use for many people in the United States and worldwide. People have it when they are happy, sad, angry, excited, cheerful, depressed, stressed, and just about every other emotion. Some might even slip some alcohol in their morning and afternoon coffee. ...
Views: 1095(1 vote) - How to Beat Perfectionism - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2017 from Darlene LancerPerfectionism can be a blessing or a curse. It can become a painful, inescapable trap. Its self-sabotaging side effects undermine our goals and creativity and spill over onto our co-workers and loved ones, damaging our relationships. At worse, it can be dehumanizing and compromise our ability to ...
Views: 1252(2 votes) - How to Convince Your Ex to Get Back With You? How to Convince Him to Give Me Another Chance - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2016 from Michael UadialeTrying to convince your ex soon after the breakup will not yield positive results; in fact will only firm their resolve to stay clear of you. You need a much nuanced approach to convince them that you are their best bet and here is how you can do that. Read on Let the anger dissipate No ...
Views: 4884(1 vote) - How to Erase Someone From Your Memory - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2015 from Alex J. StevensonErasing the memory of a loved one is not easy especially if you have been in a beautiful relationship which has suddenly gone sour. You experience a lot of pain and negativity when you lose your self-confidence and wonder what really went wrong. How to erase someone from your memory? ...
Views: 5215(1 vote) - How to Forget Someone Who Doesn’t Love You – Save Yourself With These 5 Tips - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2015 from Alex J. StevensonIf someone loves you then they do. If they don’t then they don’t. That’s it. However, it is utterly painful to forget someone who doesn’t love you. It’s hard to see that your LOVE is not returning the feelings to you. I was in the same situation. I felt a lot for her but she always ...
Views: 2273(1 vote) - How to Get Over A Breakup Quickly – The Best 10 Ways - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2016 from Alex J. StevensonThe vast amount of literature on getting over a break up with your loved one and learning to live without that relationship is mostly not useful, either because it's full of nonsense or because it simply doesn't work. If you want to get over a breakup quickly, then follow the 10 steps listed ...
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